A/N: I recently reread Allegiant, and I noticed that there are three times in the book where Matthew is eating an apple. I thought that this was kind of weird, so I decided to come up with a reason for all the apple-eating, and it morphed into this weird fanfiction. It's written in the form of letters from Matthew to his dead GD girlfriend, who I named Danielle. S, here it is!
Dear Danielle,
The "subjects"-God, you know I hate that word-well, anyway, they've just left the borders of the city. Amos and Zoe left in a truck to go pick them up. I pretended that I cared. I don't. Actually, I've been thinking about this, and I decided that they might be able to help. I've seen them on the screens a couple times, and they fought off all of those crazy obstacles that were placed in their path. Brave. They also seem to have some experience rebelling, which means that they might have a fresh take on how to overthrow the GPs.
Every day, I pray that nobody will find these letters. Not only would they think that I was crazy for writing letters to a dead person, they would lock me up for all the things I say against the other GPs. I've tried to stop writing these, but it's like an addiction. Sometimes I imagine that you receive these, wherever you are. It comforts me to think about you chuckling at my sloppy handwriting, running your fingers over the words, and most of all writing back.
Remember all those little things we would tell each other in the beginning? You know, you'd pass by while I was in the lab and tell me, very quietly and smoothly, "My favorite color is green." And I'd respond, just as inaudibly, "Mine too."
Green, the color of the GD uniforms. I never told you how good you look in green. It's the color of a burden, something that was meant to hold you down, and you'd take it and change it into something that made you even more beautiful. That is you, Danielle, that is your approach to life.
I remember all those little details you told me. I made a list, and I keep it in my pocket every day. Sometimes, when I get angry at those stupid GPs who think that they're better than everyone else, I touch the list. It reminds me to bide my time.
The list looks like this:
Her name is Danielle
She thinks that lunch is the most important meal of the day
She always wears her hair loose, because she likes the feeling of it bouncing across her shoulders
She is very skilled at mental math
She never watches the screens that show the test cities
Her favorite color is green
She believes in God
Her life goal is to establish the GDs as more than just a damaged breed of people in the minds of the leaders of the Bureau
Her favorite food is apples
She would only ride a plane if I were there to hold her hand
She is an orphan
She wants to spend every hour of every day with me
She loves me and hopes she'll see me after the operation
Thirteen facts about Danielle. I wish I knew what the fourteenth one was. We had so little time together, and I treasure these few things I know. I do little things to remember them-you know, eat apples, never skip lunch, avoid watching the test city screens- but I'm afraid it isn't enough. I feel the memories slowly slipping away, and I don't want that to happen. I always want to remember you. For the rest of my life, I want to remember you. Writing might help me remember. I'll wrote down all these moments, all these memories, and that way I can read them and remember you.
Love you always,
Matt