I Don't own rights to Supernatural, or Leverage, their characters or the song Almost Lover, by A Fine Frenzy. I make absolutly no claim over any of them.
Just as a warning I'm kind of a country music fanatic, if you don't like Country, I'm sorry, I've been listening to it my entire life, and its the main genre I know so this story will have a lot of Country.
Therefore I made it so Dean listens to Country when Sam isn't looking!
This is a AU Slash story.
Sam and Dean found John a few months after Jess was killed, He was in a hospital somewhere, he's fine now and they're back to hunting together again.
This Chapter is set before The Studio Job on Leverage
Hope Ya'll Enjoy
God he hated this day, Dean thought as he climbed into his Impala intent on finding a bar, still open this late.
It was the anniversary of the day he started dating Eliot Spencer, before they had both dropped out of high school, Eliot had stayed in school for about a year and a half after Dean had quit.
More painfully, it was also the anniversary of the day they had broken up 4 and a half years later.
He closed the door and turned the key in the ignition, the car came to life, and so did the radio, some chick was on it talking about lost love or some other shit, which confused Dean at first since that wasn't usually what the DJ's from his type of station talked about.
Then he remembered that Sam had been the last one to drive his car since he had been unconscious and Dad had his truck.
He cursed softly then leaned forward to change the station, but before his fingers reached the dial the song that the DJ had been going on about started playing.
"Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swayin' in the wind, Images"
He froze, his mind playing those exact images.
Conjuring up memories of another time, a rough, but gentle hand caressing his arm as they lay on the beach, that summer, The summer he'd spent with his reason for tonight's whiskey hunt.
He pulled his hand away from the dial, and let it rest on the steering wheel.
"You sang me Spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes, Clever trick" the song continued.
He could still remember that whiskey rough, but honey sweet southern accent crooning those old country songs in Spanish maybe they weren't exactly Spanish lullabies, but it was close enough.
He had never understood all the words, but he didn't have to, sometimes he knew the song already, could tell what it was by the tune, and he knew what Eliot meant to say, what he'd wanted to say, but couldn't let himself.
He knew it was the only way the Texan could trick himself into telling Dean how he felt.
Dean's hands shook as the song kept going.
"Well I never wanna see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me"
He hadn't wanted to see Eliot unhappy, hadn't wanted to see him hurt in anyway, but when he tried to make sure that would never happened, the whole world had flipped upside down on him, Eliot hadn't understood that Dean wanted to keep him safe, and he had balked against the attempt.
He broke up with Dean the next day, pushed him away, so very far away, that Dean didn't know how to get back to where he'd been, physically he knew exactly where he was but mentally and emotionally he was lost since the moment Eliot had told him to get out of his life.
The poignant song kept going adding to the pain Dean was feeling.
"Goodbye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream"
They had been so close, had meant so much to each other, Dean had even started to hope that someday, when his mother's murderer was gone that he could at least slow done hunting, that he could be with Eliot, it was really just a hopeless dream.
"I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be"
Dean still thought about Eliot all the time, no matter how hard he tried not too, especially lately.
"So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you"
It had been luckless in the end everything that could have gone wrong did, and it was in the past now, it was behind him, he couldn't change what had happened between them.
"Should have known you bring me heart ache, Almost lovers always do."
He should have known from the beginning that it wouldn't last, eventually he'd have to leave and it be over, it was what happened with the other relationships he'd tried to have, He should've have known that it'd be the same with Eliot, no matter how much more stronger, more real it was.
"We walked along a crowded street; you took my hand and danced with me, Images"
They had done exactly that, John was on a hunt with some other hunters and Sam was with Pastor Jim, practicing Latin.
Eliot had come to see Dean, and they went into town for the annual fair the town Dean and Sam were staying in had.
It was one of the few times they got to hold hands in public, and they were walking and laughing together when Garth Brooks' To Make You Feel My Love started playing over the loudspeakers.
Eliot had pulled Dean into his arms and started dancing with him.
"And when you left, you kissed my lips; you told me you would never ever forget these images."
When Eliot was leaving on that last horrible day, He had sighed sadly and kissed Dean just as sadly.
"I'll never forget you" he had growled "I'll never, ever forget the way we were together"
"Well I never wanna see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me"
Dean had thought that Eliot out of everyone he knew would understand why he couldn't stay with him, that he'd know that Dean had to be with his family, had to have his dad's back.
And that there was far to much risks involved to bring Eliot with him, He couldn't bear the thought of Eliot being hurt because of him, that thought gave him the worst nightmares, left him curled up on the floor screaming at night.
"Goodbye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream, I'm trying not to think about you can't you just let me be, So long my Luckless romance, my back is turned on you, should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do" The women singing lulled.
"I cannot go to the ocean; I cannot drive the streets at night."
He couldn't not without seeing Eliot's blue eyes, feeling the ghosts of the memories of Eliot breath on his skin, his fingers in his hair.
"I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind" the singer crooned.
And she was right, once again, He couldn't everyday he still thought of Eliot, Every morning he woke up with his name on his lips.
"So you're gone and I'm haunted"
He was completely haunted by the ghost of their past, He was haunted by Eliot's memory as thoroughly as any vengeful spirit could ever haunt someone.
"And I bet you're just fine"
Dean figured that Eliot had long since moved on, probably had a steady job, a house, hell maybe even a wife and kids.
"Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out, of my life?"
Dean's face was covered in tears by now, Eliot memory assaulting him with every line of the song. It had probably been easy for the former high wrestling champ and football star, too move on, to forget the drop out who had loved him so much.
"Goodbye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream"
It really was goodbye, because there was no way Eliot would come back to him.
"I'm trying not to think about you can't you just let me be"
Dean wished he couldn't still feel the broken-ness of his heart that was shattered into so many pieces.
"So long my Luckless romance, my back is turned on you"
He knew that his love for Eliot was something of his past, and that it should stay there, but he couldn't seem to make it stay where it belonged.
"Should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do" the song ended. Dean's broken heart felt liked it had been shattered into even more minuscule pieces.
He turned the radio off, and backed the car out; even more determined then before to find that whiskey.
He found an open bar, it one of those late night karaoke places, but hey, they sold whiskey and that was the only thing that mattered to Dean right now, and it wasn't like Sam was around to make fun of him or ask too many questions when he got on the stage himself and sang the song he'd listened to in the car in a deep and beautiful voice.
He went back to the hotel with a bottle of whiskey to keep away the memories. He stumbled out of his blue jeans and passed out on the bed.