Let it Snow
Rating: PG-13, for kissing and stuff
Spoiler: season 3 set after the finale, assuming that they got HG Wells back
Disclaimer: If I did own the rights to these lovely ladies they would have a lot more fun – trust me.
Summary: It is Winter Solstice night and Helena is having a quiet moment alone, reflecting on the past.
With Pete's help, she and Myka reveal their feelings for each other. Wanting to make Helena feel comfortable about the upcoming holiday, Myka makes a request of her that Helena happily accepts.
*^o^*
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Part 1
A fire crackled in the fireplace warming the living room and its single inhabitant. Helena Wells stood solemnly by the window, watching the snow fall silently outside. Dancing snowflakes dusted the ground in the first blanket of white of the season. Helena was lost in thought as she watched the hypnotic swirl of white outside the window, for once appreciating the quietness around her. An intense need for some comfort of the past had made her turn off the bright overhead lights in favor of lighting every candle in the room. The only evidence that Helena was in fact not in Victorian England was the soft music that played in the background. The jazzy sound of 'Let it Snow' echoed in the otherwise quiet room. Helena sighed as she thought of the past and the people so long gone by now.
"… some corn for poopety poppin'. Let it snow, let it snow, LET IT SNOW!" Pete sang as he entered the room.
Helena groaned and closed her eyes. She slowly turned around and crossed her arms, shooting him a slightly annoyed look.
"What's with the lights?" he said and frowned.
"I was trying to create a feeling of the past, that's all," she said tiredly and ran her hand through her hair. "It's all right; you can turn on the lights. It was a fruitless endeavor anyway."
Pete, noticing her somber mode, walked over to her. As if sensing her need for comfort, he put his hands on her shoulders. She tensed under the touch and he sighed, gently rubbing her shoulders.
"I'm sorry Helena," he said, now serious. "Come, let's sit down."
Helena nodded and took comfort in the arm around her shoulders. She had discovered that Pete could be incredibly sweet at times. It appeared that this was one of those moments.
"I don't know exactly why this feeling came over me," she said and looked down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. Like a proper Victorian lady, she noted silently. Unclasping her hands she looked up at him. "You are a good friend Pete. I do not think that I have told you that enough. As much as we argue and disagree on things, I find you truly loyal and someone I can depend on."
"Thanks," he said, surprised. "You're pretty awesome you know."
She chuckled and smiled fondly at him. "Why thank you Mr. Lattimer."
He grinned and relaxed further into the softness of the sofa. Helena leaned her head against his shoulder. Looking around the room Pete noted the many candles and smiled to himself.
"It is kind of nice in an old timey sort of way," he acknowledged.
"Sometimes I feel the need for a slower pace, and the gentle comforts of the past," she admitted with a sigh. A moment later she laughed and Pete looked questioningly at her. "I once mocked my friend and colleague for wanting those exact things. I had such hopes for the future and was in a rush to get here. Dear Woolly was comforted by the past, which was predictable and safe. At the time I had trouble understanding it, but now I feel the same longing."
"I guess we all want that feeling of safety and comfort at some point," Pete said and nodded. "That perfect moment when everything in the world was right and you felt completely happy."
She nodded and looked into the dancing flames for a moment. "Sometimes it feels like I am letting them down, as if I am giving up on the memories when I consider fully embracing the present."
He tilted his head trying to understand her cryptic comment. Noticing the faint blush on her cheeks it did not take long for him to figure it out. He tugged her closer, giving her a half hug.
"I don't think letting Myka into your life would make any of your past relationships any less important. If anything I think they would be happy that you found someone that makes you happy."
Helena just stared at him. "How?" she whispered.
"I feel vibes, remember?" he teased and wriggled his eyebrows. "I admit it was disappointing at first, a complete blow actually, that it wasn't me that you were lusting after, but hey, Myka is like my sister so I'm happy for her."
Helena huffed and elbowed him. Pete laughed and squeezed her shoulder.
"There really is nothing between us, you know."
"Yet."
Helena rolled her eyes. "I am almost afraid of encouraging her," she whispered.
"I don't blame ya," he said and winked. "I'd be a little scared to tumble into bed with Myka too."
Helena laughed and shook her head. "I think I can handle that part. I have had more than one feisty woman in my bed in the past."
Pete's eyes widened and he whistled, impressed. "Okay, that sounds like an interesting story that I probably should not hear."
"You're absolutely right about that," she said with a cheeky grin.
"So tell me!"
"No!" Helena laughed and playfully shoved him.
Myka stopped in the door when she heard Helena's laughter. She bit her lip as she watched Helena and Pete on the sofa laughing and touching each other. She swallowed hard, fighting the pain inside her.
"Hi," she said and smiled weakly at them.
"Myka, darling," Helena said and grinned. "Come here."
"Hi Mykes," Pete said and grinned. "Perhaps you can convince Miss High and Mighty here to part with some of her stories."
"Stories?" Myka said and tilted her head as she sat down on the other end of the sofa from the two.
"Yeah, remember the 'many of my lovers were men' comment from Prudie MacPrude here?"
"I am not a prude!" Helena exclaimed.
Myka made a face and looked at Helena. "Then prove him wrong, and tell him the story," she said softly.
"What?" Helena gaped at Myka. "Not you too?"
Pete high fived Myka behind Helena's head and the two laughed.
"I think she's just too chicken to," Pete said and nodded to Myka.
"Perhaps she's lost her storytelling skills?" Myka said and made a thoughtful face as she nodded slowly to herself. "Yeah, I bet that's it."
"I have not lost any of my many skills, I'd like you to know," Helena huffed. "And I will not fall so low that I betray past promises by sharing details with you two. It's tacky!"
Myka laughed and glanced at Pete. "Perhaps it was all…"
Helena launched herself at Myka, pushing her in the chest. Myka's arms came up to grab her as she fell down in the corner of the sofa with Helena in her arms. She laughed at the surprised look on Helena's face. Helena grinned cheekily.
"Well if you two are going to make out I'm just going to get some popcorn. Can you hold off that long?"
"Pete, out!" Helena muttered.
Pete laughed and left the room. Myka moved a little under Helena assuming that she would get up now when Pete had left. To her surprise Helena instead seemed to be settling in in her arms.
"This is ever so comfortable," Helena purred.
"Helena?"
"Talking to Pete made me realize that I need to embrace my feelings instead of holding them back."
Myka just stared at her. "Feelings?" she whispered. "For me?"
Helena chuckled and nodded. "I guess I really did do a good job of just teasing, pretending that there was nothing more to it."
"Yeah," Myka said with a sigh.
Myka pushed a little and Helena sat up. She touched a lock of Myka's hair and twirled it around her finger.
"I felt conflicted, darling. I am truly sorry if I made you feel as if you were not important to me. You are. You are the most important person to me, Myka."
"But?" Myka asked and looked at Helena with so much sadness in her eyes.
"I constantly battle this feeling of guilt," Helena said and glanced at the dancing flames in the fireplace while gathering her thoughts. "Why am I alive and well when all of them are gone? What made me so special? I do not feel that I deserve to be happy. I have not earned it."
Myka sighed. "What about me?" she said in a gentle voice.
Helena tilted her head and smiled at her. "You are the woman I envisioned when writing about my Utopia."
The comment made Myka warm inside and she smiled. "Then doesn't my happiness matter to you?"
"Of course it does!" Helena said upset.
"Then allow yourself to be happy, Helena. Seeing you happy and hearing you laugh makes me happy."
Helena touched Myka's cheek, tracing her jaw line. Finally she nodded.
"Perhaps it is time to put the past to rest?"
"Yeah," Myka whispered. She took Helena's hand. "Did you really mean it? That you actually do have feelings for me."
"Yes darling."
Myka blushed and tugged at Helena's hand. "Come here," she said and grinned at Helena.
Helena laughed and moved closer. Myka wrapped her arms around her, holding her close.
"You seem comfortable with the thought that my feelings for you are true. Was your earlier uneasiness only related to you thinking me dishonest in my interest?"
Myka chewed on her lip and then sighed. "Helena, I've been in a relationship with a woman before. That doesn't bother me the slightest, but being close to you, hearing your compliments and being the recipient of your endearment terms and care, only to realize that it didn't seem to mean anything to you, that hurt. The realization that it was just your idea of charming your way to obtaining whatever it was you needed at the moment, access to the Warehouse, our trust… Warehouse 2." Myka sighed again and looked away.
"I am so sorry, darling," Helena said with a sad smile. She leaned closer and brushed her lips against Myka's. "Will you permit me to try to woo you anew? With honest intent this time?"
Myka swallowed and nodded. She ran her fingers through Helena's silky hair and pulled her back for another kiss. She tasted her lips, nibbling on Helena's lower lip before gently stroking her tongue against Helena's. She sighed when Helena whimpered softly.
Myka leaned back and Helena rested her head on Myka's shoulder. They stayed like that, both lost in thought for a long moment. Myka absentmindedly ran her fingers through Helena's hair, enjoying the feel of it sliding through her fingers. When Helena turned her face up she smiled at her and kissed her. Helena laughed in delight and squirmed a little in her arms.
"In the past, this public display of affection would have been quite scandalous when living in a house with other people," Helena said with a mischievous grin. "Only in my own bedroom could I indulge in this kind of behavior."
"Good thing for us that things have changed," Myka said.
"True."
Helena lost herself in thought once again and Myka caressed her cheek as she studied Helena's perfect features. She smiled when Helena kissed her finger when she traced Helena's lower lip.
"It's Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. In a few days it will be Christmas," Myka said and glanced at the Christmas tree in the corner. "What did you do on these days leading up to Christmas?"
Helena took a deep breath and smiled. "Charles and I would host parties, and when we did not host, we would attend them. December was such a joyous month, filled with laughter, music and dance."
"What about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?"
"Christmas Eve we would host a small dinner party at home for family and close friends. We would sing Christmas carols and after dinner Charles or I would read Dickens' A Christmas Carol."
Myka's eyes twinkled and she grinned as an idea took form. "Helena? Would you like to have a Victorian Christmas Eve? Here, at Leena's."
Helena sat up and looked at her. "I think I would enjoy that very much."
"Then let's do it," Myka said excitedly.