KILL EM ALL (NO PARODY OF METALLICA.)
It was a normal day in Satan City. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. So Pan decided to take a nice relaxing fly. Near where she was flying, there was a construction yard. Suddenly, a meteor hit it. It sent a wrecking ball flying flattening Pan.
Videl, who didn't know of her daughter's demise, sent Gohan out looking for her. Gohan was flying until he saw a schoolbook. He was curious of what the school children are learning so he picked it up, but it was stuck to a manhole. Gohan pulled the book up lifting the manhole dumping tons of sewage on him. He immediately drowned. Then some hooligans lit the sewage ablaze burning Gohan's body.
Oob was training because he is so dull. He is curious of how strong he is so he decided to go to hell, and fight Cell. He asked Emba and he granted his wish and killed him. In hell, Oob got his ass kicked.
Krillin and Master Roshi are in Kami House testing out their 72" Bigscreen TV. Now they had one too many tacquilas and were watching Cinemax. They then started to… You should know. If you don't, you have no reason to live. Krillin hadn't done this in a while and forgot about his power level. Soon after going harder, he tore off Little Krillin but at the time he was in bliss so he didn't feel it. But after he did, he screamed like a little girl and died from shock. Master Roshi seeing what Krillin screamed about but knocked over his chair which propelled him right through the TV and into Turtle's mouth and he got digested.
Chiat-zu was practicing flying so he could increase his speed, but him having a small body means him having a small brain. He forgot how to fly in the middle of flying. To save himself, he shot a KI BLAST right to the water but was killed by his own blast. This proved that he was both an idiot and pathetic. Tien who was obviously having sexual relationships with Chiat-zu poked out his third eye and bled to death. (YEAH I KNOW.LOL)
Yamcha who was flipping through a car magazine to see which one he should buy to impress the ladies cut his finger. He rushed to the sink to wash it out but his wristband fell in the sink. He reached down to get it but accidentally flipped on the garbage disposer. Slowly and painfully, he was cremated into itty-bitty pieces.
Vegeta was at home lounging while Bulma was bitching about how he never goes downtown with her anymore. Vegeta became so annoyed the he blaster Bulma right through the chest killing her. But he felt a strong sense of loneliness and shot his own head off.
Goten was trying to impress his girlfriend by stopping crooks. After he defeated them he heard his cell phone ring. At the same time as he lifted it, it touched the water sending an electrical impulse of death to Goten's brain killing him. His girlfriend ran for help but hit a pole which knocked a tooth out which got stuck in her throat. She suffocated.
Chi-Chi was putting away all of Gohan's old study books when she tripped and all of his books came crashing on to her smashing her. At the same time, 18 was showing Marron how to plug in her computer. As soon as she plugged it in the electricity ran through her body short-circuiting her. Marron touched her mother and got electrocuted,
Trunks was in an open field coming his beautiful hair. He was combing it very hard so that he can flatten his knots. Unfortunately, he combed it so hard, he scalped himself. His brush went flying and went right through the chest of Bra.
Videl was searching for everybody when she found what she thought was an odd looking super sayion. It was not a super sayion , it was Cloud Strife from FF7. He went over to greet her but tripped and his hair cut a hole right through Videl's head killing all of the main characters on the Dragon Ball series.
In Snake Way, Goku and Piccolo were laughing at all the way the Z-Senshi died. They laughed so hard they spontaneously combusted and went back to heaven.
I know it sucked but I was very angry when I wrote this
Props to my man Can of Beans for helping me out with this.