Skynet and Stilettos
By ZionAngel
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"Tony… Tony!"
"Fuck, Potts… what do you want?"
"Get out of bed, you need to get ready for the board meeting."
"Ugh… least you could do is bring a man some coffee… unbutton your top or something if you're gonna wake him up that early."
"How about I stab you with my stiletto if you don't get out of bed in the next ten seconds? That kinky enough for you? … Tony, that wasn't an invitation to sit there and wait for it. You won't enjoy it if I have to come over there and get you up myself. Now get your ass out of bed. And stop looking at me like that."
"You put those kinds of images in my head, you're asking for the look."
"A genius like you should know that once you're up you have to actually do things. Shower, brush your teeth, these things ringing any bells?"
"Fuck, I had this really weird dream."
"Don't care. Shower. Now. Nintey minutes and counting 'till that meeting, and there's traffic."
"I had a dream that Jarvis was Skynet, and he used Dummy and Butterfingers to take over the world."
"If the human race can be overrun by those two, we deserve to be wiped out. Up."
"Seriously, Potts, that dream was disturbing."
"Well, Arnold's coming down from Sacramento next week, I'm sure he'll protect you."
"Nah, it's okay, Jarvis doesn't have any plans for world domination, do you, Jarvis? … Jarvis?"
"Eighty-eight minutes, and you take at least thirty-three to get ready when you're not interested in going. Start moving."
"Jarvis? Come on, you don't want to take over the world, right?"
"Tony, if I have to reschedule this meeting, so help me -"
"Jarvis!"
"Okay, no more Terminator for you."
"Jarvis, this isn't funny!"
"I believe it is, Sir."
"Fuck, don't do that. I just woke up, my head's not on straight yet."
"It is kinda funny, Tony. Eighty-seven."
"I have a clock, Potts. I'm your boss, remember? You're not supposed to support me getting creeped out first thing in the morning."
"Get into the shower and I'll stop."
"God, Pepper, what is it with you? It's just a stupid board meeting. You know why they call them that? Because everyone there is bored."
"I can get Dummy and Butterfingers up here to help me. They may not be cut out for launching a nuclear holocaust, but I think they can drag you into the shower."
"Like hell they will. I programmed them, they'll only do what I say. Not very well, but."
"Oh, didn't I mention? I'm the one with plans for world domination. Jarvis is just helping me out, he's reprogrammed them for me."
"So what, you're the evil girl Terminator now? Ooh, does that mean you can make your boobs bigger on command?"
"Get in the shower if you want to live."
"Okay, now see if you had said 'Come with me if you want to live' - and by 'come' I of course mean -"
"Tony."
"If you'd just offer up a little company in the shower, you'd have gotten me in there a lot faster."
"Stilettos. Your ass. Eighty-five minutes."
"Fine, fine. I'll be back."