Mario and Luigi awoke in a strange castle, one the two plumber has never, ever seen before

Mario and Luigi awoke in a strange castle.  The two plumbers tried to stand up but were having trouble.

"Where the hell are we Mario?"  Asked Luigi, rubbing his head.  "Do you remember anything?  I honestly can't remember a damn thing.  Me head feels like a smashed pumpkin."

"I don't know."  Mario said standing slowly.  "The last thing I remember is I Went to see Princess Toadstool, she said she wanted me to clean her pipes.  She brought me to her personal bathroom and then threw me into the Jacuzzi.  After that I blacked out."

"I'm getting something now."  Said Luigi.  "Yoshi invited me over to his little cottage.  He said he was inviting some friends over for a drinking party."

"Jeez Luigi, are you that desperate?"  Said Mario.  "I know it's been a few years, but damn.  Yoshi???"

"What the hell are you talki. . . . .  you're sick Mario."  Mario didn't seem to care about his headache because he was doubled over laughing.  "Stop it right now!  I'm warning you!"  Mario paid no heed to the warnings and continued to laugh his fat plumber ass off.  "That's it!"  Luigi pulled a wrench out from his tool belt and ran at Mario.  He managed to get in a good shot on Mario's ribs, sending him to the floor.

"Pika . . Chu!"  A large electric charge hit Luigi's wrench and coursed throughout his body, sending him flying into the wall.

"Good job Pikachu!"  Apparently Ash and Pikachu had found their way into this castle as well.  Ash went over to check on Luigi, and Pikachu went over to see Mario.

"What the hell is that thing?"  Mario yelled as he quickly made it to his feet.  "Some sort of bug eh?  I've killed quite a few in my day.  Just another one to add."  Mario raised his foot quite high.

"Pika!!!!!!!!"  Was all Pikachu could say as Mario brought his large foot down on Pikachu's head.

"Pikachu!  What the hell did you do to Pikachu!"  Yelled Ash.  "Pikachu saved your life!"

"I thought it was a bug, or something."  Said Mario.

"I should kill you!"  Said Ash.

"Yeah.  That thing saved your life, sooner or later, you'd do that to me."  Said Luigi.

"Shut up you gay Yoshi fucker."  Said Mario.  Luigi could handle no more as he ran at Mario for the second time.  He was interrupted this time by someone who dropped from the ceiling and separated them with his sword.

"My name is Alucard, what are you doing in the house of Dracula?"

"We don't know."  Said Luigi.

"I think he was asking ME."  Mario snapped back.

"You know what Mario.  I've had enough of your crap.  For over 10 years it's always been about You.  Always about Mario.  Even the one game I got the lead in, it was named after you!  I've been carrying your fat ass and I'm tired of it.  And why haven't we ever changed clothes!"

"Big deal, I've never changed my clothes.  And I've been around for over 20 years."

"Pac-Man!"  Mario, Luigi and Ash said simultaneously.

"What-Man?"  Said Alucard.  "Wait a minute, you're not even wearing clothes."

"Ah, so it may seem to the untrained eye, but actually . . . . . . AH I'M NAKED!!!"  Yelled Pac-Man as he went running out of the room.

"I always thought Pac-Man wasn't put together right, I mean he has no body, he's just a face with legs, what the hell is that all about?"  Said Ash.

"You look too much into things.  Just leave them be."  Said Alucard

"You know what Alucard, you can kiss my Ash!"  Alucard didn't take to kindly to this as he drew his sword and pointed it directly at Ash's neck.  "You know what, I'm just gonna shut my mouth."  Said Ash.

"I suggest the 3 of you find a way out of here.  There are monsters and ghouls rampant throughout the castle."

"That's best idea I've heard all . . . 2 minutes we've been here."  Said Mario sarcastically as Alucard walked out.

"Always with the sarcasm, eh Mario?"

"Just shut up Luigi!"

"How about you shut your mouth before I put something in it?"

"Sorry, but I don't swing that way."

"One last thing."  Alucard said right before he left.  "The drawbridge closed right after I came in.  You'll have to look for another way out besides the front door."

"What?" said the three of them.

"How come escape is never as easy as the front door?"  Ash asked as the three walked into the hallway to see what awaits them.