Somehow.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
An: Please r&r!! The song is Drake Bell Somehow
"She stares at the moon
Her ribbons out of tune
Memories of the past
At the bottom of her glass"
Nate picked up his guitar, he was nervous, he wanted to tell her how he felt, but he knew he never could, she just couldn't be with him, she was with somebody that would he knew in his heart would never match up to him.
He was the jock, the preppy guy, the one every girl had given themselves to, and well he didn't exactly get a lot of offers. He was the jock's friend, the nerdy drama guy, the guy who loved to write poetry and music and who wasn't afraid to wear pink.
He was always the friend, the best friend, he knew this girl, they were besties since the age of four, they had gone to camp rock together, they had shared their first kiss together, a dare, nonetheless he still remembered every last detail. Her touch, the feel of her lips, that was four years ago, almost five. Well five in a week.
He had always written songs for her, he had always somehow made sure that she got the female lead or a big female role in the school play, he had to often give it to Sharpay, he wanted to share her beauty with the world, he always had, until he came along, the guy that could make any girl weak at the knees, they were doing a play he had written, a play that required a hunky lead, he didn't know why he cast him, he thought that maybe they could all be friends.
How naive could you get?
"And resting on her cheek
The imprint of his ring
A symbol of the weak
Commissioned by the king
Did he tie you down?
Did you make a sound"
Nobody ever could just be friends with Shane Gray, he was it, the heartthrob, the one that could make even the smartest, bookish girl crumble under his charm. It was as if he had some sort of powers, powers, Ryan wished, he could have for himself.
He had only ever had one girlfriend,Tess , she was great, so sweet and kind, always true to him, like he was to her, until that night, the night that she met his older brother Keelan, nobody ever liked Keelan until Tess saw him, he was heartbroken, he had thought if he couldn't have her, he didn't have anything, until he realised what was right beside him.
He often saw Tess in the cafeteria, or in homeroom, her books blazened with his brothers name on it, somehow, Brie his twin sister was happy for them, however, when the girl you dated is going out with your 20 year old brother it could become quite weird.
He often wondered if he had gone for it with Mitchie if he would be with her now, holding her, kissing her, feeling her against him. He knew that he should have, he often beat himself up over it, time and time again, he saw them in the hall together just holding hands or her giggling at his jokes, he didn't see Shane, his best guy friend, he saw himself, he was the one that was meant for her, not Shane.
He often remembered the time she had told him that she was with Shane, how crushed he had been, how much he wanted to tell her that he wasn't good enough for her, but he knew that he couldn't, he had missed his shot, his fault.
How was he supposed to go on without her, he needed her, she was the only reason he got up in the morning, he knew that he didn't stand a chance but he also knew that it was his fault, he had told himself that every time he saw her with him, every time she broke his heart in two with her smile, he thought about how stupid he had been to let her go, he had almost asked her out once, but he lost it.
He knew that he'd have to go soon and face the world, well high school, he had to face the two of them, pretend like he was feeling nothing but platonic feelings for her, that had stopped a long time ago.
He knew that he would have to go in there and act as if she was just his friend, she had never had any feelings for him that way, he knew she never would, he tried to date, but whenever he thought about asking someone out it always brought him back to the time when he failed, it had always freaked him out
She falls to her knees
Screaming God please
Make something of me
Cause I never wanted anything like what I wanna be right now
An angel again
An angel again somehow
As he slung his bag over his back, he checked his appearance one last time, his curly hair messy, his plaid button down hung lazily over his shirt, he was nothing special he told himself, Shane was the one with the looks to kill, he was the one that had the 'player' image that so many girls had fallen for and gotten their heart broken, yet somehow they kept coming back to him. They always did. No matter what.
He had seen Shane with her, he was only ever caring in public, Mitchie had confided that much in him, she had told them when she gave herself to him, how he had taken it for nothing, how he had just made love to her as if he had taken a million girls virginity's. Nate suspected he had.
He had told her that he wasn't good enough for her, that she needed someone who would see her true beauty and respect her always, but when he said that, she had told him how much she had been told that she was lucky just to have him even if he did treat her like shit.
"She remembers his old boots
And the shotgun that he shoots
And all she could take
Lies at the bottom of a lake"
He vividly remembered her tears when he found her in the bathrooms crying her heart out, her cheek raw, her make up no longer in its right positions. He had hit her, he had hit her because she didn't want to have sex that night, she had told him that she had a test, but he didn't listen.
Nate did. He was always there to pick up the pieces of Shane's anger, the side that nobody saw to 'Smitchie' was the fact that he was an abusive low-life who didn't have the guts to talk about their feelings, spoilt, always had been, always would be.
He wished that she would leave him, he had asked her to time and time again, but she told him it was too hard, she wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him, he couldn't be seen without her, she knew, she told him that most of the time she deserved it for doing the wrong thing.
Nate never believed her, her mind was so warped that she didn't know anymore what was right and wrong.
"So lift your cig and drag
As you figure out a plan
To hide it all away
How could she ever love this man
Did you weigh him down?
Did he make a sound"
He remembered when she came to him, so shaking and a shadow of herself that he didn't recognise her, she didn't look like the Mitchie he had spent every free minute with.
-Flashback-
Nate looked around him, it was just him and Shane at the lunch table, normally Mitchie would be there with him, putting on her smiling face and kissing Shane as if he loved her.
He had noticed Shane looked especially mad but took no heed, he normally got mad when somebody had the guts to tel him off or tell him that he couldn't have something.
He hadn't dared ask where Mitchie was, he was too afraid of the Shane he had become, this was what he was, he had had gotten this way, had anger issues, since his father had left he had not been the same.
They sat in silence for the entire hour of the lunchbreak, Nate becoming more and more worried about his best friend, she hadn't showed up and Shane was still here. He wondered what had happened to her. This had only happened once before and Shane was not happy to say the least.
As the bell went Shane got up silently from the table, Nate however needed to find out where she was, he stayed behind, Shane not even noticing.
He didn't care that he had to skip class, for Mitchie he would do anything, especially since she had started dating Shane, he had been worried.
He knew her go to area, she always hid in the girls bathroom on the third floor so nobody would hear her, it was where they held wood and metal shop, so it was loud enough to drown out any of her fits of crying
Heading up the stairs, Nate heard a familiar sound of her frightened sobs emanating from the girls bathrooms. She knew that she had done wrong this time, she had said no, it was her fault, nobody Else's
Nate entered the bathroom to find her huddled and shaking, her clothes ripped and her face red raw from crying.
"Mitchie" he cried, running to her aid
"Nate" she sobbed
Nate pulled her into a hug, he had a feeling that Shane had done something to her, he had always been a bad boy, always would be.
"What did he do now" he asked, soothing her
"R-r-r" she sobbed, unable to get her words out
"Rape" she finally managed to get out
"He raped you" Nate asked trying to stay as calm as possible
Mitchie nodded her head, her tears staining his shirt.
"Why" he asked, needing to know his 'reason' behind raping her
"He told me that he needed sex because we hadn't had it in three weeks, I said no but he told me that it wasn't an option and he pulled me down an-an-an" she said, going into a fit of tears
"Sssh" he soothed as she sobbed hard into his shoulder
As he sat there, just holding her, rubbing her back as she cried, he couldn't help but wonder how much she deserved somebody better than him, how much she needed somebody else to hold her and tell her how beautiful she was and how much she was appreciated.
"Why can't you let him go"
"It's not that simple" she cried "I always do the wrong thing"
Nate shook his head, how could she possibly believe that, she was so disillusioned, Shane had made her that way, he should have been locked up as soon as she had started thinking that about herself
"It is" he sighed kissing her head
"It's not, never is, we're not five anymore, we have to accept when we're wrong"
"But you're not" Nate cried "Shane is"
"No he's not, I am" she said, getting up, still shaking
"Look at you, you're shaking, how can he be right"
She shook her head "He is, he is, he always is" she cried
As she tried to fix herself up, Nate let a tear fall down his cheek, how had she become this, this shadow of herself, it wasn't right, she would always think he was right, and he would always be there to pick up the pieces.
"I have to go" she cried as she slung her bag over her bag, her body shaking, marks from Shane's force on her clearly visible
-End Flashback-
"She falls to her knees
Screaming God please
Make something of me
Cause I never wanted anything like what I wanna be right now
An angel again
An angel again somehow"
That memory still haunted him to his very core. She never talked about that incident. Either did he. Yet it shocked them both, every day they thought about it the memory never got any easier. Nate didn't think it ever would
As he walked out the door and down the street, he saw Shane waiting for him, Nate despised Shane for what he was doing but for Mitchie's sake he was doing this, he had to do it to protect her or else she would be beaten until she had no feeling left, though Nate doubted she had much of that anymore.
"Hey man" Shane greeted, a fake smile on his face
"Hey" he sighed, fiddling with the ends of his shirt
"Where's Mitchie" he asked, trying to fill the empty conversation as they headed to the school
"She's getting a ride to school" he said, his face expressionless
"Ok" Nate smiled nervously
"So how are you two getting on" he asked, interested to hear the lies that Shane spun
"Fine" he sighed, looking at him, his brow crossed "Why"
"Just makin' conversation" he said, trying to cover up
Shane nodded as they continued the rest of their journey in silence. Nate wondered why he even bothered making conversation. Shane never gave an answer unless it was filled with spite or sarcasm, even all of his teachers had given up on him, though all the girls still loved him, why he didn't know.
"She's not here" Shane spat as they turned the corner into the school
"Maybe she's running late" Nate answered, not phased by his temper anymore
"She said she'd be here, the stupid slut"
Nate gritted his teeth "She'll be here"
"No she won't, she's too stupid to understand what time to get to school at, she was supposed to have sex with me this morning"
Nate flinched as he said that, thinking of her hands on his body, him kissing her, caressing her, hitting her if she didn't do it the same way as him. She lived in constant fear of him, that's what disgusted him the most. Shane relished the power, he could see it in him, he wasn't the guy who used to play baseball with him, he was the guy that no girl needed to have
As he saw Mitchie's mom's car pull up, he felt a sense of dread come over him, she was in for it.
"Hi" Mrs Torres greeted
Shane nodded "HI"
He could see Mitchie, her head down, unable to look at him. Shane was all smiles until Mrs. Torres pulled away "What the fuck do you think you're doing showing up late"
Mitchie nodded her head "I'm sorry baby" she said, her voice low and afraid
"We don't have time to fuck now because of you" he said, violently grabbing her hand and pulling her away forcefully
"Ouch" she said, as he squeezed her hand, trying to hurt her
"Shut the fuck up" Shane said, turning to her and smacking her face
"Sorry" she said kissing him
"We'll fuck during lunch"
Mitchie nodded, her head on his shoulder
"Unbelievable" Nate said, as he watched what Shane was doing to Mitchie
He couldn't do anything for her.
"And when you carry weight in your life (life)
And all the plans you make in your life (life)
The original decision was right
She falls to her knees
Screaming God please
Make something of me
Cause I never wanted anything like what I wanna be right now
An angel again
An angel again somehow"
He, Nate couldn't concentrate at all that day, he was too preoccupied with Mitchie, she was so perfect and pure until she met Shane. When she met him he knew that they couldn't be only friends.
How could he help her, he had always had a place in his broken heart for her, she was his one and only but she had changed. She used to be confident and the star of all his plays, now she was just Shane's boyfriend, nothing more, nothing less.
He needed to help her, but how, that was what was annoying him.
As the bell sounded for lunch, he knew what it was time for, it was time for Shane and Mitchie to have sex, he had always wanted her to wait for the right guy, not to give it up to the man who had slept with the whole girls badminton team.
Nate watched as Shane took Mitchie's hand into the nearest empty room, the boys bathroom, that he could find. Nate let tears fall down his face as he watched her go in. He waited outside for them, until Shane finished, he had heard it all, the sound of skin hitting hers made him weak, he wanted to go in there and save her from what he was causing her.
The bell for th end of lunch went and Shane came out, looking oddly nonchalant about what he had just done. He gave Nate a glare as he passed him by
"You shouldn't have done that" he said, wincing
"What now, I shouldn't have done what now?" he asked, whipping around
"Had sex with Mitchie, she didn't want to" he said, bracing himself, though the halls were now empty bar him
"She doesn't have that choice, and I know well you go to her every time she cries"
"So what, she needs someone that'll be there for her, without having to ask"
"Save me the pleasentries would you Nate, she deserves what she gets, she knows, and she agrees"
"That's because she's afraid to say no"
Shane inched closer to him "No, she just know's that i get what I want somehow, so its easier to agree"
"You know how nuts you sound" Nate asked, looking at Shane with hatred
"Look I'm not playing, she just agrees with me because she's realised that she should respect her man always, even if she doesn't feel like it"
"You've turned her into a piece of jelly man!" Nate said
"Excuse me" Shane asked, rage overcoming him
"Quivering"
The next thing he knew Shane's fist was connected with his face, it hurt, it hurt like hell.
"I know you love her, so just stop"
Nate held his cheek "It's more than you'll ever be able to say"
Knocking him to the floor with one swift kick in the balls "You'll soon realise that she's mine and she'll answer to me"
As Shane walked the opposite way, Nate lay there writhing in pain, "UGGGGGGH" he groaned
Mitchie rushed out from the bathrooms "Nate are you ok" she asked, her attire messy
"I'm fine" he lied "Plus they're just physical bruises they'll heal"
"What do you mean" she asked, perplexed
"My bruises will go away in a week or two, your's won't, the sooner you realise that" he said "Your bruises, you can't see all of them"
"But i deserve them" she sighed, taking his hand
"No you don't, but I can't save you, only you can do that"
"What"
"You need to heal yourself"
"I can't"
Nate looked at her, and looked back to his right arm, it was a bracelet that had gotten him through so many tough times, it was the bracelet that his mom had given him on his fifteenth birthday, the bracelet that had always given him the strength.
"Here take this" he said, taking the bracelet off his wrist
"What, you're favourite possession" she asked, shocked at what he was giving her
"Yeah, read it, let it be a reminder" he said, looking at her, bruises forming on his face
Tears formed in her eyes as she read it "Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; They are the charming gardeners who make our soul blossom"
"You sure" she asked as she slipped it on her wrist
"Yeah, everytime you look at it I want you to smile, I want you to remember the people that love you"
"I will" she sobbed, smiling at the bracelet
"I'll remember you"
Nate looked shocked as she pressed an innocent kiss on his lips "Because you love me"
Did he tie you down?
Did you make a sound?
Did he weigh you down?
Did he make a sound?
The picture of the bracelet is in my profile