His Deepest Fixation
One-Shot
For The TR Contest.
Disclaimer: Not mine. xP
Dedicated To: My awesome friend, Regina, for going through this whole story when I was in a rush.
Pairing: MikanXKoko
A/N Because the more I think about these two, the more I fall in love with the thought of them ending up together in an alternative universe. But, I think I turned Koko OOC here. Uh.
It wants to kill you
It wants to tear you apart
It wants to thrill you
This vengeful love that I've got
Wants to consume you
Then spit you out
I fear the fever
Fear the fever
Can you feel it now?
You know you're not safe here
You know you're not safe here
I'll only bring you down
Fear The Fever : Digital Daggers
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'Koko, you bastard. I'm going to whoop your sorry ass. Where the hell are you?'
The cafeteria during lunch was always loud and crowded. Mochu stated that he had an interesting story to tell, yet, whatever he was saying turned out the exact opposite of what he was thinking, which distracted Kokoro 'Koko' Yome from noticing the murderous thoughts that were coming from the fierce, hot-headed Sumire Shouda. It was only when Kitsuneme saw Sumire running around the cafeteria, probably searching for Koko, that made the mind-reader finally snap back into reality.
"Oi. Madwoman Medusa, twelve o'clock."
At the mention of the ridiculous nickname Kitsuneme came up with for Sumire, Koko immediately rose up from his seat, turned around, and leaned against the edge of the table. An uncomfortable expression replaced the goofy grin on his face when he saw his ex-girlfriend storming towards him. She looked angrier than usual, which wasn't a surprise, due to that they had just broke up - in a situation where Koko sent her a text message that was both humiliating and unbelievable. He forced a fake smile, trying his best not to pee his pants.
"Hey Sunshine. What's up?" he managed to get out, attempting to hide that he was anxious, unaware as to why the girl was mad.
Dealing with Sumire when she was pmsing was like accomplishing an incredibly difficult feat. There was absolutely nothing the poor boy could do to calm her down.
Sumire, who stood six feet and two inches tall, was fuming dangerously. Her strange height intimidated Koko, since he was only an inch taller. With Sumire standing too close, Koko wondered if it were possible getting beaten up by a skinny girl, her sick thoughts making everything far more worst.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" she spat, scaring not only Koko, but the two other boys sitting next to him.
Koko furrowed his brows in confusion before realization hit him. Fear was clear in his bright brown eyes after reading Sumire's thoughts - finally having an understanding about why she was blazing furious.
'It was because of the text message I sent her that morning!' Koko had thought.
He still didn't understand what there was to be so angry about. Couples break up when things get rough. Wasn't that a normal thing to do?
"I don't know. You tell me," was all he could say. Truth be told, Koko was never good at dealing with complicated situations like a bad break up, considering that he didn't know what was wrong with the way he ended their nine months, six weeks, and eighteen days relationship.
Sumire made a funny face, obviously offended by his response. "I can't believe I'm even talking to you right now!" she paused, glaring hard at him. "You're a fucking jerk. I hope you fall in a well and drown to death."
"How can you drown in a well?"
"Shut it, Mochu," Sumire hissed.
By then, both Mochu's and Kitsuneme's fear towards the green haired girl had transitioned into infuriation. They didn't appreciate the way she was talking to Koko, as if he was a piece of dirt. Sure the guy could be foolish and idiotic at times, yet, they believed that he definitely deserved better treatment in this current situation. Kitsuneme was the first to snap when Sumire continued to insult their friend.
"Leave him alone! If you came here to torment him, go away!" he shouted, standing up to his feet, "Yeah, you got dumped. So what?"
She scoffed, rolling her sharp green eyes, "I'm Sumire Shouda. I don't get dumped." What Kitsuneme said bruised her ego badly. It was true - no matter what, she couldn't change the fact that Koko broke up with her – and just the thought of it made Sumire even more irritated.
"Well, there's a first to everything, neh?" Kitsuneme retorted, causing Mochu to rudely snicker. Sumire gasped, not believing her ears.
"It was in a form of a text message! What kind of bastard would do that?" she defended quickly, rage in her tone.
Koko shook his head, suddenly feeling annoyed by this entire ruckus. He thought he would already feel relieved and free after breaking up with Sumire. Instead, here she was, screaming and arguing with his friends. He started to question the reason about why he even went out with her in the first place.
Oh yeah... because he fell head over heels in love with Sumire. Was it even love? How can a fifteen year old 'fall in love'? It was stupid to even consider the thought that he felt that way towards a girl who only cared about her reputation. However, it was different back then. She was his childhood best friend. Unlike any other girl, Sumire was fearless and strong. He truly believed they would be friends forever. Yet, as they say, feelings go and people change.
"Well? Do you have something to say about this?" Sumire continued to rant maniacally, facing herself towards Koko.
Kitsuneme had to nudge Koko to separate himself once again from his train of thoughts.
He blinked twice, cocking a thick brow, "Uh. What?"
He expected her to repeat what she said, but instead, Sumire shrieked, causing almost half of the students in the cafeteria to look in their direction.
"See?" she hissed, pointing an accusing finger at Koko, "He doesn't even listen to whatever I say. It shouldn't have been me, but him."
This whole thing was giving Koko a huge headache. In the background, he pointed out the faint thoughts of nosy students wondering what was going on between him and Sumire. "What are you talking about?" he asked as patiently as he could, despite the fact that he was slowly breaking from the inside out. From the corner of his eye, he saw a few students inching closer towards their table, all intrigued and tempted to hear what Sumire had to say.
"This!" she shrieked, taking out her cell phone and shoving it to Koko's face, before continuing in a mocking impression, "'I'm sorry, I don't think it's working out anymore. Let's just be friends, neh? It's not you, it's me.' What the hell does that mean? Am I not good enough for you? This is bullshit, Koko." He saw in Sumire's eyes, without having to read her thoughts, how much this simple text offended her. He scratched the back of his head.
"I still don't get it," he said, staring at her in honest and innocent confusion, "I said we could still be friends." And he legitimately meant his word. He'd rather stay in the friend zone than going any further. The two just didn't click. A fight started every time they were together. Sumire was just too much to handle and Koko was fed up dealing with it.
But Sumire took what he said the wrong way. She was a firm believer in it being impossible to be 'just friends' with an ex, even if it was Koko. How stupid could he get? Didn't he know that once they break up, everything between them would be awkward? She was incredibly annoyed with his denseness.
"No!" she shrieked, once again, flailing her arms wildly, "We cannot be friends now, idiot! Don't you get it?"
All at once, it hit him. Koko felt his muscles relaxed, his expression soften, and his eyes tender.
'I'm nothing without you.'
Koko hesitated, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to see Kitsuneme and Mochu frowning. They knew him too well.
He was going to forgive her.
Don't, Koko. His eyes widened. It was Kitsuneme's thoughts. Don't do this. You already ended it. It's over.
He knew it himself, yet, there was a part of him that still held on to the feelings he had for her. Sumire was his first - first crush, his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and his first break up. If he had thought this over, he would have realized that it would actually be difficult to let go.
Well, that was until a clumsy brunette showed up.
"Sumire," he murmured, "I-"
It happened quickly - so quickly, in fact, to the point where Koko hadn't seen it coming. Nobody did. He was just about to take Sumire back when Mikan, who was holding a full tray, was struggling to pass through Koko's now crowded table, tripped over someone's foot, and fell directly into Sumire's chest, knocking her down on the dirty floor.
Silence.
The entire cafeteria was now staring in horror at the two girls on the floor, squashed together, with Mikan on top of Sumire. Macaroni and cheese spilled all over Sumire's face, pieces of small meatballs stuck inside her nostrils, her naturally permed hair now a complete mess.
"Ew. Ew. Ew!" Sumire screamed, banging her curled hands on her sides, "This is so gross! God!"
Mikan's eyes widened in sheer terror. She didn't expect to bump into Sumire like this. Her face was beat red from embarrassment and fear. Who knew what Sumire would do to her after this?
"I-I'm so sorry!" Mikan cried, trying so desperately to wipe off the hot cheesy goo on Sumire's face with her hands, shaking a bit from her fright. Sumire squealed, shoving Mikan away.
"Get off of me!" Sumire shrilled at her best ability as another ear bleeding scream left her lips.
Mikan cringed, biting the bottom of her lower lip, "I'm really sorry, Sumire! I didn't mean to-" She was interrupted by Sumire's hand, waving her off.
"Just clean up this mess! Clumsy dolt."
'Seriously. How clumsy can you get? Pathetic. Your Alice couldn't even protect you. Useless Alice for a useless idiot.'
Koko couldn't help but snort at Sumire's brutal deliberation. It was true. Mikan Sakura was one of the clumsiest Alice user in the entire academy. However, the fact that Sumire called her Alice useless was a definite lie. Mikan's Nullification Alice was one of the greatest Alices he could think of.
"Hah. Did you see her face?"
Thanks to her sensitive hearing, Sumire was able to catch the silent sound of a camera clicking. She turned to her left where a bunch of students snickered with their phones out, taking pictures of her misery. The corner of her lips tugged into a deep frown.
"Wha- what the hell do you morons think you're doing?" she continued to rage. Standing up to her feet, Sumire flung herself towards the surprised students, trying to grab their phones.
"Delete those pictures, now!" she roared.
"S-Sumire! Calm down, please!" Koko wailed, immediately rushing to her side, grabbing her arms. "Stop it. You're attracting attention," he whispered softly into her ear.
She struggled under his grip, trying to peel him off. Surprisingly, Koko was stronger. She expected him to fall on his butt, but instead, he stood still, not budging once at her various attempts to escape.
"Let go," she spat. Koko sighed.
"Not until you calm down," he said.
'You're an idiot.'
At Sumire's childish thought, Koko only snickered. "Oh yeah?" he scoffed, tightening his grip, "So are you."
There was a momentary silence between them. They were calmly communicating just by staring into each other's eyes. There was something about the way he was looking at her that Sumire couldn't comprehend. She noticed the tired bags underneath Koko's brown eyes and the desperate expression he wore. If she stood still, she could almost feel his hands shaking, as if afraid to hurt her. The moment between the two captured by simple eye contact was an abrupt and surreal experience for both, and it couldn't be denied.
She groaned, narrowing her eyes. It meant to sound cruel, but for some reason, her voice came out in a whisper. "Whatever. I'm done here." Sumire roughly pulled away, flipped back a strand of hair, and walked away with her dignity - or what was left of it.
She plastered a confident smirk on her lips. Strutting towards the exit, her steps were slow and loud, allowing everyone to give her way. She made sure her composure was cool and collected to get herself and her self-esteem together. Walking away as if nothing happened appeared easy, but she couldn't deny the incredible humiliation she felt on the inside.
'Screw you, Koko.'
When Sumire's figure disappeared, the cafeteria turned back to its usual liveliness. Everyone went on with their previous conversations, laughing and squealing over the littlest of things. Koko could hear all kinds of meaningless banter.
'God. This burger is delicious.'
'I wonder if I should pop the zit on my forehead myself or ask a teacher to do it...'
'What should I buy from Central Town after school?'
'I didn't study enough last night! Oh my God! What if I fail the test? I'm so screwed.'
Yet, no matter how many thoughts he read a day, none of them interested him as much as Mikan's. The girl was always filled with something new. Her thoughts could make him feel all kinds of emotions he rarely felt. They made him snicker, snort, cringe, angered, or curious. Though, over the years, the cheerful brunette learned to contain her Alice like a prodigy. It was unbelievable. She was only thirteen years old. Nobody could fully master their Alice until they finished with school – except her.
Nevertheless, there were times when he would faintly catch a particular thought from her – a thought that hinted towards the idea that she maybe didn't really have full control over her power yet.
"Eh? Mikan, what are you doing?"
"Cleaning."
Koko turned around to see Kitsuneme and Mochu leaning against their table, watching Mikan scrubbing food stains on the floor with thin napkins. She was crouching down, her sleeves rolled up. He raised a brow, amused by her actions.
"Mikan, why are you doing this?"
Hearing his voice, Mikan glanced up, "Koko."
"You know you don't really have to do what Sumire tells you to do."
She shrugged, dumping the waste into the trash bin beside her.
"It doesn't matter," she responded calmly.
"But that's the janitor's job. Not yours," he insisted.
"It's still my fault. The more work I put in, the less mess they have to clean."
Koko nodded, seeing that it was pointless trying to reason with her. He mentally debated whether to leave Mikan alone, before slumping down next to her. He grabbed a clean sheet of napkin from her hand, causing Mikan to finally look him in the eye.
"What are you doing?" she asked, disbelief in her tone.
Koko only responded by reaching for his water bottle on the table, twisting its cap, then spilling all of its contents on the floor. "It'll be faster if you scrub with water."
Mikan frowned, crossing her arms. "You don't have to help me," she said stubbornly.
"Oh?" Koko glanced up, a cheeky grin plastered on his face, "But I want to."
"It doesn't matter. You-"
"I'm not doing this for you, Mikan," he cut off, swiftly.
Mikan blinked twice. "You're not?" she asked, surprised by his honesty. Koko grinned.
"Nope," he assured her. "Just as you said, we can't let the janitors do all the hard work. Right?"
Koko's reply stunned her so much that the words she had prompt in response were stuck, hitched in her throat. It was the first time Koko had actually offered to help her. She was rendered speechless and didn't know what actions to take as she watched him bent over, putting effort into scrubbing the gooey stain until the floor was sparkly clean.
But she wasn't the only one baffled by his selfless acts - both Kitsuneme and Mochu were staring at him in awe.
'Dude, what the hell are you doing?'
'You look like a pathetic maid.'
Koko himself didn't know why the heck he was on the floor, scrubbing stains that weren't made by him. He agreed with Mochu. He looked stupid and pathetic, but what could he do about it? Mikan had this weird effect on him. Everyone thought she was an open book, but in fact, nobody truly knew what she was thinking. Koko could've been an exception, but he wasn't. It irritated him because he was supposed to have the power to read anyone's mind. What made Mikan Sakura any different?
It was her Nullification Alice.
The rare ability to cancel out other Alice.
She was gifted.
Her special Alice could be considered even more powerful than Koko's Mind-Reading one. He didn't mind, though. It wasn't much of a big deal to him whether there was somebody who could top his Alice. It was just the fact that Mikan became increasingly distant day by day that made Koko even more so curious to where he desperately blackmailed Narumi-sensei into getting him a private telepathy tutor. He needed to get into Mikan's mind. He wasn't satisfied with hearing small thoughts from her - he wanted to read everything.
It just didn't feel right not knowing what really lurked into the depths of her mysterious mind.
"Thank you, Koko."
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The day went on as time seemed to pass by in a blur. Koko was barely able to follow the teacher's lectures as his thoughts were only focused on one topic: Mikan Sakura. It was a miracle that he had most of his classes with her, where she sat in the very front, while he was in the back along with his friends.
He leaned closer, squinting his eyes as if it were an advantage to get into her head. His lips pursed, and unconsciously, he gripped on both sides of his desk - but it was proven of no use. Mikan had an invisible barrier that shielded intruders like him away. After one silent minute of concentration, Koko groaned, giving up.
"Damn it," he grumbled, crossing his arms. "I can't read her thoughts."
"Nothing at all?" asked Kitsuneme, who was doodling next to him.
Koko shook his head. "Well, there are random times where I get something from her. Like a reaction," he said.
Kitsuneme scratched the back of his head, feeling confused. "What the heck does that mean?"
"It means, whenever Mikan falls, suddenly bumps into an inanimate object, or anything related to what a clumsy idiot does, she mentally screams out her reaction."
"I still don't understand..."
Koko sighed. "I can hear her thinking 'Ow!' when she gets hurt."
It took a moment for Kitsuneme to finally get what Koko was trying to say. "Oh!" he said, catching up. "Is that all? Just reactions?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"Not even when she's thinking about Howalons?"
"No."
"Seriously?"
Koko nodded.
"But why do you even care? It's just Mikan - nobody special," Kitsuneme pointed out, resuming back to doodling in his notebook that was already filled with drawing interpretations of his favorite manga characters.
His words struck Koko like thunder. Kitsuneme was right. Why did he care so much about what Mikan was thinking? It didn't concern him. She wasn't Sumire, so there was nothing he should worry about. It just so happened that she wielded the rare Nullification Alice. Would it make any difference if it were someone else instead?
He shook his head.
"God, I feel paranoid," he muttered, loud enough for his companion to hear.
"Haven't you always been?"
Koko shrugged and abruptly got up from his seat, which of course, caught his current teacher's attention.
"Class isn't over yet, Mr. Yome," he said in a stern voice that meant to frighten him.
"I have a free pass to leave class when it is necessary," Koko said, heading towards the door.
'Free pass? What kind of excuse is that?'
"Sorry, but it's urgent. I can't stay here any longer."
Without wasting another breath, Koko twisted the doorknob and ran out of the classroom, hoping that this would give him the opportunity to clear his mind. He needed to talk to someone. Anyone. He knew he had a problem, but there was nobody to seek help from.
As he rushed towards a vacant classroom on the fourth floor, a thought crossed his mind.
'I wonder if he'll ask me out...'
Koko stopped on his tracks. The voice of the thought sounded really familiar to him. It almost seemed like it came from -
No.
It couldn't be.
They just broke up. Sumire wouldn't waste her time trying to find someone new to snag. She wasn't like that. Koko knew she had self-respect for herself, no matter how flirtatious she could be. Yet, what she does shouldn't even matter to him anymore. Right?
"Oh. Koko? What are you doing, standing there?"
Koko turned around to see his private telepathy teacher, Mr. Yamada. He was a kind elderly man who was a bit plump and barely had any hair left to show. He looked like any average aging teacher with laugh lines deeply etched into his face and wrinkles underneath his sharp brown eyes. There was only one thing that separated this simple man from the rest of the teachers. He was only hired by the Academy to teach one specific student.
A lopsided grin replaced Koko's troubled expression. "I'm here for a lesson," he said, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper, dangling it up in front of him.
Mr. Yamada rubbed his temples. "Koko, you know you can't always use that pass as an excuse to cut-"
"It's not just about ditching classes anymore, Mr. Yamada," Koko interjected, "I've tried to master my Alice for so long. And there's this question that has bothered me for sometime now."
"What is it?"
"How do you break into a nullifier's head?"
Mr. Yamada smirked. From the start, he already knew why Koko had even bothered to ask for a personal teacher to help him with his Alice when he was already well on his own. He could sense it just by staring at the boy. Koko's thoughts were as outrageous as he was. There was no mistaking it. He was simply fixated by the clueless nullifier's thoughts. It almost amused the old man to think of the troubles Koko would get himself into just for one silly girl.
"It's about that girl, isn't it?" he said suddenly, grinning when Koko stiffened, "Mikan Sakura was it?"
Koko turned away.
"Quit trying to read my thoughts, old man. That's not cool."
"Isn't that exactly what you're doing too, Kokoro? Invading her privacy when it's obvious that she doesn't want you to is wrong. Don't you think so?"
Koko reacted differently from what Mr. Yamada expected. His lips parted. One brow arched. His nostrils flared and his face was as red as Natsume's eyes.
"Are you calling me a hypocrite?" he snapped, looking as if he was out for blood.
"No. Not at all."
He grunted, turning away. "Oh."
'So you'll help me?'
Mr. Yamada frowned. He knew what Koko was thinking about. The boy just wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. Were all kids like that nowadays? What a shame.
He let out a sigh, forcing a grin. "There's more to life than just-"
"I don't care!" Koko shouted, looking down, "I really don't care. Okay? I'm sorry for being too stubborn, but I can't help it. Mikan's a strange girl. Everyone knows what she's thinking but they always want to confirm it - so who do they go to? Me! But I don't even know what the heck that girl's thinking anymore!" As though a heavy burden was magically lifted off of his shoulders, Koko sighed, satisfied after venting out his thoughts.
However, Mr. Yamada still wasn't convinced. He knew that no matter how much Koko would beg of him, it still would never obscure from the fact that it was wrong. Shouldn't he be aware of that already?
Mr. Yamada sighed deeply before stating, "Koko, I won't help you."
Koko's face fell into a scowl. "Why not?" he glowered, his tone dripping in anger.
"Because it's not right, and you know it!"
Koko gaped, keeping his mouth shut in a thin line. He felt dizzy inside his head. What was happening? Everyone didn't understand why he was so desperate into trying to figure out Mikan Sakura. Nobody approved of his actions. What if Mikan found out? How would she react?
"Is it wrong to want to know what she's thinking about?" he cried out loud, feeling dejected.
Mr. Yamada stared at Koko with pity in his eyes. He moved closer to the boy and wrapped a frail arm around his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Koko."
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Koko spent his time, for the rest of the remaining hour, being taught by Mr. Yamada. He was quickly gaining knowledge on how to maintain control over his powers, block out thoughts, and send messages through telepathy. It astounded Mr. Yamada on how persistent Koko was. The boy continuously pushed himself to the limit, and at time, even further. He didn't like seeing Koko forcing himself to carry out a lesson when he knew it was killing him. It was only when Koko's face was turning purple during the middle of training that Mr. Yamada finally decided to call it a day and dismissed class.
"But we have ten more minutes left!" Koko whined, standing to his feet. Mr. Yamada waved a lazy hand, leaning back in his chair.
"Too bad. I just ended class," he remarked.
Koko groaned, crossing his arms. "That's not fair!"
"Life isn't fair."
"But-"
The old man sighed, proceeded to pick up neglected paperwork, and pretended to have interest. "You've practiced enough for today, Kokoro. Take a long rest. Overusing your Alice isn't good for you," he pointed out.
Koko pouted, mentally agreeing with him.
'I guess I'll come back another time.'
Mr. Yamada grinned silently as he watched Koko stomp his way towards the door from the corner of his eye. "Don't do anything stupid, Kokoro!" It was meant to be a joke, which was why it surprised Mr. Yamada when his pupil glanced over his shoulder, smiling back.
"No promises!"
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When Mr. Yamada suggested for Koko to go back to his room and get some rest, Koko did the exact opposite. He went straight outside, into the schoolyard, making an effort to find enough inspiration to kill time before class ended. There was absolutely nothing to do besides watch a flock of birds flying all over the place or see students leave their classrooms to use the bathroom or drink from the water fountain now and then. Since he had escaped his earlier class, Kitsuneme and Mochu weren't with him – and it didn't feel right being alone without any of his friends to bicker with.
Besides, he couldn't just randomly pop in and start talking to the school staff. They would think he was up to mischief when he wasn't. It was hilarious in a way due to the fact that Koko had a weird reputation in the Alice Academy. He never struck the teachers as the 'well-behaved' type. It was as if they couldn't trust him, and therefore, he had to be watched closely. He wasn't a threat to the academy; yet, some of the elderly teachers saw him as the devil in disguise. Instead, Koko was one of the troublemakers that nearly gave Jinno-sensei, a heart attack during the Winter Ball dance back when they were only in middle school. It ultimately resulted in the release of crickets in the middle of the dance floor, which caused a huge uproar.
It was most definitely one of the best nights of his life and, simultaneously, one of his worst. The next day, Koko went to the infirmary room where the emotionless nurse, who once was an old student years back, Hotaru Imai's older brother, Subaru, and Jinno-sensei greeted him. Immediately, after seeing the cold heartless man with him, Koko knew exactly what they had planned. During that time, he had no knowledge as to how to block thoughts, therefore, he went through a traumatizing experience reading frightening thoughts that were scarier than his punishment - well, not entirely.
Subara Imai had the Heal and Pain Alice, which meant he could use his power to transfer the pain of those he healed to another person. Usually, punishments made by him took place in the infirmary - seeing as it was proper to do this type of routine behind closed doors, where it was soundproofed and safer. It freaked out Koko how calm and collected Subaru was while positioning himself comfortably, before shifting every wound someone felt into Koko's body.
To say it hurt more than being kicked in the groin was an understatement. Koko screamed - even cried during the one second long punishment. It was as quick as a paper cut, but he felt the burning pain eating him inside out. He remembered arching his head back, hoping to ease the sharp sting, yet it proved useless. Subaru's dangerous Alice worked perfectly. It drove him insane. Blood rushed through his face, tinting his delicate skin.
When the worst was over, Koko quietly returned to his room, ignoring the pitiful and curious looks he received from his peers.
Reminiscing the unforgettable past, Koko cringed, snickering under his breath for his stupidity. He was still mischievous no matter how many years had gone by. However, even rascals like him eventually grow up to become mature young men. He couldn't wait until graduation. The future was so near - he could hardly sleep at night, contemplating on how far he had gotten in life. There were just so many things he wanted to do once he got out of the academy. The real world seemed so foreign that it made him nervous thinking about living alone without any of the teachers nagging him around. It had been so long since he last walked around the sidewalks of the real world. At the age of three, his parents immediately dropped him off to the academy after the principal discovered his Alice. He was too young to remember what it felt like being with his family and living a normal life. Well, almost half of the students were practically raised in the academy, knowing absolutely nothing about the 'outside world'.
Except Mikan Sakura.
Koko sighed, glancing up at the sky. The sun's warm breeze tickled his skin, making him shiver in delight. He continued strolling around the schoolyard, thinking long and hard about little old Mikan Sakura. She was an outrageous girl, really. Out of all the reasons why she would willingly go to the academy at the age of ten, it was because she chased after her uncaring best friend, Hotaru Imai. There were rumors about her, claiming that Mikan secretly had feelings for Hotaru far beyond the status of friendship. However, Koko knew that, that rumor didn't ring true. In fact, when he still had full access to her mind, he found out something interesting about Mikan that very few, if any, knew.
It was unexpected though, to discover that someone as innocent as Mikan Sakura would harbor feelings towards a certain delinquent. Natsume Hyuuga was his name. He was brutally strong, sarcastic, rude, and mysteriously quiet. Anyone was lucky enough to have at least fifteen seconds of their life being noticed by someone like him. He was a man of few words. Of course, whatever he said was always important.
Her feelings were kind of obvious to Koko - maybe not to anyone else, except for Koko, who saw it in her eyes. It was just in the way her eyes sparkled when she stared at him, how the corners of her mouth would tug into a smile when he was around, the way she bounced with laughter at a rare joke he would pull out, it was in everything.
There was just one thing that he didn't fully comprehend.
Why in the world was Natsume pretending not to notice her feelings for him? It disgusted Koko how unbelievable the popular boy was being, purposely leading Mikan on. Did he even reciprocate any of her feelings, at all?
Suddenly, the faint sound of the school bell went off, snapping Koko out of his trance. Classes were over.
'Finally!'
He hastily ran across the schoolyard, about to enter the crammed hallway. Students from all grades were busily hustling around everywhere, accidentally running or bumping into each other, chatting with their friends, etc. People rushed by Koko, listening to their iPods or idly looking at their cell phones. He noticed some upperclassmen making poor attempts of acting cool by loitering around lockers, loudly smacking their gum, or smirking cockily at anyone who passed by them.
For some odd reason, once Koko stepped into the hallway, a short alarming pain shot through his head, making him wince out of shock. What was that? He glanced from left to right, seeing a bunch of students approaching their lockers. It didn't seem like an Alice user was trying to harm him.
He wrinkled his nose and scratched the back of his head before shrugging the thought away. Mr. Yamada was right. He was fatigued. Maybe it was his exhaustion to blame for his unexplainable pains.
'I better find Kitsuneme and Mochu, fast!' Koko thought to himself, now rushing through a throng of people. He tried to focus on searching for his friends. Instead, he began to feel his mind starting to race. The hallway seemed to go on forever, the hard cement awaiting in front of him. Just staring straight made his head dizzy. It looked like as if his eyes were playing tricks on him.
'My feet hurt.'
'I'm so hungry. I wonder what's for dinner.'
'...Need to use the bathroom so badly. My bladder will explode any second now!'
'Do hair really grow in unexpected places?'
The sudden intensity of the thoughts deriving from his surroundings startled him. The large amount of students gathered all around, along with their colliding and conflicting thoughts, was giving him a major headache. He didn't understand why. By now, everything should have returned to being normal. Yet, it remained the same. It was as if everything returned to the way it was the first time he arrived at the academy. Thoughts clouded his mind, which took over his own.
"Ah!" he screamed, putting his hands over his ears, "I-It's so loud!"
His head was pounding with so much power that he could almost hear it through his ears. The throbbing sensation felt alien, and it was far worse than Subaru's Pain Alice. He struggled to stop the pulsating squeeze as the thoughts continued to become louder and louder.
A rough shoulder brushed past him, the passerby having no idea about the piercing pain Koko was feeling.
'I wonder if anyone's at the library right now.'
'Is Narumi-sensei a crossdresser?'
'I hate Math.'
At one moment, Koko was lifelessly standing in the middle of the hallway, trying to get a hold of himself. It was bizarre. He never imagined in his wildest dreams that anything like this occurrence would ever happen. Not even when he was really tired. His ears popped, all the annoying sounds fading away at once. As he blinked, his visions were extremely disorienting, making it difficult to keep his eyes focused.
"No..." he managed to get out, glancing down to see four hands instead of two. Was he seeing things? His headache increased, blood rushing from his head.
"What is happening?" were his last words before darkness began to take the place of the light, slowly drifting him away from consciousness.
"Koko!"
.
.
.
.
"Stay still!"
"But-"
"Stop moving you dolt! Just stay still for a minute!"
Koko sighed, shaking his head. He complied obediently by relaxing himself and lying back on his bed, watching how frustrated his dear friend Kitsuneme had become. Koko couldn't blame him for worrying – he did faint out of the blue in the middle of a crowded hallway. Nobody expected this to happen. Not even the mind-reader himself.
He watched in silence as Kitsuneme move from side to side, tucking him tightly in. His expression was unreadable. Koko had to read his thoughts to find out whether he was irritated or not. He hated to admit it, but Kitsuneme's thoughts were hilarious. He never knew how caring his friends truly were.
'You dumb prick. I was shocked when Mochu told me you fainted. Fucking jerk. Don't ever do that to us again.'
"There. You are now stuffed inside your blanket, making it impossible to escape," Kitsuneme said, smiling in satisfaction. Koko flashed him a goofy grin, revealing his straight white teeth. He patted his sides, testing to see if Kitsuneme actually tucked him in tight enough.
"Comfy," Koko commented cheekily.
Kitsuneme laughed, looking around the medium-sized room for a chair before he placed one next to Koko's bedside and proceeded to slump down on it. He stared at his companion's pained face. His lips pulled in an honest grin that could have lit up the entire academy, yet Kitsuneme knew how much he was hurting deep inside. He had never really experienced anything as horrible as what Koko did, therefore, he couldn't find the right words to console his best friend. It wouldn't mean anything, and he'd rather stay silent than give fake sympathy.
He knew Koko hated that.
"Are you hungry? Mochu will back soon with your lunch."
"Eh? You trust him with my food?"
They both broke into a genuine laugh.
Kitsuneme shook his head, caressing Koko's bandaged hand in a chaste way.
Looking deep into his bright brown eyes, he softly said, "Thank God you're okay."
'Because you scared us.'
"Don't worry," Koko assured him, squeezing his hand. "I'm fine now."
No matter how rough things got, in the end, they would always remain friends - Koko, Kitsuneme, and Mochu. The three of them were practically inseparable. Life in the academy wasn't always fun. There were dark times where nobody felt safe. Growing up in the academy could be compared to an everyday survival task with friendships being tested, promises being broken, and now and then, someone who would get hurt physically or emotionally. Yet, despite all the hardships, Kitsuneme was certain that their bond would last for a lifetime.
"Kitsuneme. Snap out of it," Koko said, waving a hand in front of Kitsuneme, "Someone's at the door. Go get it."
"Huh?"
Koko rolled his eyes, trying hard not to laugh at Kitsuneme's spaced out expression.
"I heard a knock. Open the door. I bet it's Mochu."
And Koko was right. He heard Mochu's loud mind from the other side of the room. The boy seemed to like having long conversations with himself. They were fun and entertaining to listen in on. However, something about his current 'conversation' sounded weird...
Mochu was actually getting replies this time. That was impossible. Koko learned from Mr. Yamada that a mind-reader can read conversations between two different people from both minds. But Koko couldn't hear another thought besides Mochu's and Kitsuneme's. Who the heck was Mochu talking to then?
"Hey, guys! I'm back with company!"
"Oh, Mochu - Ah! It's you!"
When Kitsuneme opened the door, he expected to see Mochu carrying a tray of warm soup, a piece of bread, and cold milk for Koko. Instead, he saw Mochu standing beside Mikan, who was the one holding a tray full of food two people could eat. Obviously surprised by her unexpected appearance, Kistusneme squeaked, which had the same effect on Mikan, causing her to also squeak.
"Why did you copy me?!"
"What are you talking about?"
"You squeaked!"
Mikan tilted her head, confused. "So did you."
"I was surprised!"
"So was I!"
Mochu, who was standing in between the two shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Nobody cares. Just get out of my way, Kitsuneme!" The slanted-eyed boy returned his remark with a glare. Instead of complying, he took a step forward, purposely blocking Mochu as if to challenge him.
Mochu groaned, trying to get around Kitsuneme only to bump into his shoulder every time he tried. "What the heck are you doing?!" he glowered angrily. "Are you trying to piss me off?"
Kitsuneme, along with Mikan laughed.
"What's going on out there?"
Mikan whipped her head back, searching for the source of the voice. She just heard about Koko collapsing on the ground the previous day after school had ended. The news was so shocking that it made her mind swirl with panicky thoughts. She tried visiting his room as soon as Koko returned, but the teachers wouldn't let anyone in, saying that he needed a long rest. And skipping classes wasn't her forte, so Mikan had to wait until the end of the day to check up on Koko.
When she saw Koko's figure inside, resting comfortably on his bed, all the anxiety that she was feeling the past two days flew out the window, and they were replaced by relief and pure happiness. He wasn't entirely damaged, and that was all that made Mikan finally content and excited to see him. She gently set the tray down on the wooden coffee table in the middle of the room before rushing up to him.
"Koko!"
Kitsuneme tried stopping her. "I don't think you should do that-"
Mikan didn't seem to hear him as she threw herself at Koko, wrapping both arms tightly around his neck, pulling him closer to her chest.
"Oh God! Koko! You're alright!" she cried out loud, "I'm so glad!"
Koko paled, raising a hand to cover his mouth and hide the obvious shock as he took in the fact that Mikan was in his room, hugging him. He didn't understand what was happening and why it was. It was as though his brain needed to reboot. Around him, everything else was in maximum speed, while he was numb in the midst of it all.
"Maybe we should leave them alone."
He heard a faint chuckle from a corner away.
"Yeah. Everyone needs their privacy. Even a nosy mind-reader like Koko." That was Kitsuneme's voice. What he was talking about? Koko wondered.
And unbeknownst to anything that was occurring, his two friends had snuck out of the room, loudly closed the door behind them, leaving him alone with Mikan Sakura.
Wait a minute...
"Why are you here?" Koko asked once he snapped out of his state of shock.
Mikan pulled away, a small frown making its way to her lips. Briefly, she looked hurt at what Koko was hinting at. The tone of his voice, and the question itself, made it sound as if he didn't want any part of her near him.
"I-I heard what happened to you from Hotaru. Word got around pretty quickly, you know?" she paused, trying to gather herself, "And I also heard about how you overused your Alice."
"You did?"
She nodded, leaning back to see him more clearly, not finding the strength in holding back her gasp. He looked so awful. Strands of hair were sticking out from the white bandage wrapped around his forehead. The purple bags beneath his round eyes were close to turning into dark shades of black. If she squinted, Mikan would be able to see how much weight he lost after using his Alice to its limit. For what reason did he have to do that?
"What are you thinking, Mikan?"
He noticed her staring intently at him. Her sharp gaze pierced his soul, as if she was able to see through him. It made him wonder what was in her mind. If he couldn't read her thoughts, why not ask her about them, right?
Mikan bit the bottom of her lip. She glanced down at her hands as if they were suddenly the most interesting things in the world. "You look terrible," she said, voicing out her thoughts.
A strangled noise came out of his throat before he forced a laugh. "Wa-what?" he let out, staring at Mikan in disbelief.
Immediately, Mikan saw the mistake of her words, raised her hands up in front of her as if to surrender. "No! That's not what I meant," she said quickly, shaking her head, "It's just.. you know.. you got hurt."
"Yeah. I know."
"What did you do that for?"
Koko sighed, narrowing his eyes. He knew sooner or later Mikan would get suspicious as to why he was slowly killing himself. He didn't want to admit what his true intentions were because of her. It would scare her, and she wouldn't want him near anymore.
"Koko?"
"Yeah?"
Mikan's eyes looked at him, vulnerable and confused.
"I asked Subaru-san about your condition. He said you overworked yourself, Koko. He said because your Alice reached its limitation, there was a chance you could have lost it for good! I had to beg him to make sure you still have your Alice, because I know how much it meant to you."
Koko blinked. "Really?"
Mikan nodded, leaning closer to him. "I hung around the infirmary room and offered Subaru-san my help since I wasn't allowed to enter you room when you just got back. He said if I gave you my Alice stone, it would lessen the pain you were suffering from," she explained.
"You gave me your Alice stone?"
"Yep! It took me a while making it though. Plus, I felt pressured by Subaru-san. He said he wanted it right away or your pain would have increased! The Alice stone I made wasn't as big as the ones everyone else made for themselves, but I tried. And I guess it's working effectively," she cheerfully said, patting Koko's thigh gently.
A smile curved Koko's lips. "Why would you waste your time making me an Alice Stone?"
The question was ridiculous but seeing Koko's expression made her smile back. It didn't take time for her to answer. Her voice was so genuine and kind that it made shiver crawl under his skin. "Because we're friends."
Her words astonished him. He couldn't believe she was here for him. Koko, however, responded by pulling Mikan back to his chest. And because she was way into the moment, Mikan didn't dare to try fighting him off. Instead, she allowed him to rest his chin on top of her head and inhale her strawberry scented shampoo. She thought it was an act out of impulse, thinking that Koko would snap back from his trance and shove her away.
But it wasn't and he didn't - and that surprised her.
"Uh," she let out, awkwardly peeling him off after a minute of being squished. "I bet you're hungry. Want me to feed you?" she offered, standing up. Before Koko could utter a word, she scurried away, and briefly, he thought he saw a tint of blush on her face.
'Huh?' he thought stupidly to himself, 'Mikan? Blushing over this? That's impossible. She doesn't even like me that way.'
'Right?'
.
.
.
.
One long week passed by until Koko finally recovered. He was forced to stay in bed, giving an excuse not to attend classes. His friends would constantly come by to visit him and hand him homework. Mr. Yamada also went to see how he was doing. When he came in, the first thing he did was scold Koko for not listening to his suggestion. Behind his harsh remark, however, the old man was glad to see the young mind-reader gradually getting back to his feet.
He saw Mikan often, too. She would always be there in the morning, during lunch, after school, and on the weekend. At first, her endless effort just to see him had left him stunned. There were times where he would try reading her mind only to always lead him to the point of fainting. Eventually, Mikan figured out what Koko had been up to and lectured him for being careless.
They stayed up late one night together, talking about everything that came into mind. It was fun - being with her. He learned how easy it was talking to Mikan. She listened to everything he said. She laughed when he cracked a funny joke. She offered her shoulder after he told her the break up between him and Sumire. And she caressed his cheeks, softly whispering a 'Good Night, Koko!' before going back to her room.
He thought the times they had together would last - even when he was feeling better, she'd come back to him just to hang out. However, two days before he had recovered, Mikan stopped making her frequent appearances with bags of chips underneath her armpit and a smile on her face. He waited hours for her, but in the end, it was as if Mikan had forgotten all about him. He had come to the conclusion that she just didn't feel good and expected to see her the next day. But his hypothesis ended up to be wrong. She didn't come. And it confused him so much.
Why did Mikan stop visiting him?
When Koko asked Kitsuneme this, the slanted eyed boy hesitated, which gave up the impression that obviously, he knew why. "Uh," he started to stammer, running a hand through his hair, "I don't think it's any of my business."
"But you do know something, don't you?"
It was a Tuesday afternoon, fourth period just ended and they were on their way to the cafeteria. Returning back to class wasn't as exciting at Koko thought it would be. None of the teachers, besides Narumi-sensei, welcomed him back with open arms. There were a few students faking sympathy and asking how he was doing when they saw him. He forced a smile, nodded and mumbled half-hearted gratitude in return before walking past them. If they didn't really care, why even pretend? He hated that most about the people from the Alice Academy. Not everyone was genuine.
"Why not just try asking Mikan yourself?" Kitsuneme suggested.
Koko tilted his head, crossing his arms. "Why don't you just tell me?"
He could sense that something was up, and it wasn't just Kitsuneme. As they walked down the hallway together, Koko felt eyes following him. He tried ignoring them, yet their thoughts made it so obvious. It wasn't because he was gone for a week, no. The reason was entirely different. There were a few students whispering so loudly that he could almost hear what they were saying.
"Does he know?"
"What? Why would he? He was gone for a week!"
It was suspicious.
Koko knew they were talking about him. Yet, he had a feeling he wasn't the only one they were gossiping about. He grabbed Kitsuneme by the arm and pulled him closer.
"I could hear their thoughts - and they're about me! What's going on, Kitsuneme? You better tell me or I'll fuck you up," he threatened firmly.
Kitsuneme was paralyzed by Koko's persistence, not knowing exactly how to react as he gaped at the impatient mind-reader. Kitsuneme knew he deserved an explanation. "Okay," he muttered in a low tone, brushing his arm out of Koko's grip, "I'll tell you. But you need to calm down, alright?"
Koko relaxed, backing away slightly. He nodded and motioned Kitsuneme to continue as they took their time walking down the stairs.
"It happened on the first day Mikan didn't show up to your room. Well, she was planning to come with Mochu and I. She kept going on and on about how she would nurse you back to health. It was hilarious. She really cares about you, dude. It was kinda cool having her around for a change. During class, she would talk to us and ask about what your favorite foods were. But then..." Kitsuneme trailed off, looking down. Koko sensed discomfort from Kitsuneme, yet he was still tremendously determined to find out about what happened.
"But then what?" he urged.
"Sumire. She found out that Mikan often visited you and she was furious about it."
"So? She's my ex. Things like this shouldn't even matter to her. She didn't even check up on me!"
Kitsuneme sighed. "I know. But that's not the thing," he paused, "Apparently, Sumire and Natsume are going out now. She planned to keep this a secret for a while, but after hearing about Mikan and you.. Well, she decided to announce the news to the entire cafeteria."
Then it struck him. The weird thought that had crossed his mind when he was on his way to Mr. Yamada's class. It was true! Sumire was just after another boy! But why Natsume? Of all people? He understood why girls were always throwing themselves at him. He was the 'it boy' at Alice Academy. Every girl wanted to be with him and every guy wanted to be him. Long ago, Koko felt the same way too, yet things had changed. Now, he lost any respect he had left for both Sumire and Natsume.
He wasn't angry because Sumire replaced him for Natsume. No. That wasn't the reason. It didn't matter to him anymore. If they wanted to be together, then that was their choice. It was the fact that Sumire rubbed it in Mikan's face, the innocent round-eyed girl who didn't know any better, that disgusted Koko. For the first time in his life, Koko felt as if it was his job to protect Mikan. He didn't like seeing her upset over stupid things like this.
"Unbelievable."
They were taking the long route to reach the cafeteria. It was time for a little catching up to do. Koko was curious to know what went down between his ex-girlfriend and the girl whose thoughts he had obsessed over for some time now. He mostly listened to Kitsuneme as the boy explained how Hotaru Imai showed up in Sumire's doorsteps to face her, late at night after comforting Mikan, who was bawling over Natsume Hyuuga. He knew Hotaru could be mean towards Mikan all the time, but when it came to seeing her cry over a dumb boy, she liked to take action. Maybe Hotaru really did care about her best friend, or maybe it was because Mikan's mourning was starting to annoy her.
His ear caught the sound of girls squealing with glee from only a corner away. He was completely absorbed in what Kitsuneme was telling him that he hadn't paid any attention as to where he was walking. After taking another step, he felt another body collide with his, temporarily knocking out his lungs, as he stumbled a few steps back.
Confused, Koko turned to see if whomever he bumped into was okay. Besides, it was his fault for not watching where he was going. He wanted to apologize - until he realized who the person was.
"You're in the way, idiot."
Natsume Hyuuga.
Instantly, murderous thoughts invaded Koko's mind. He didn't know what he would do when he came face-to-face with Natsume, but now that he was right in front of him, the first thing he did surprised everyone around them.
Without a second thought, Koko stepped in on Natsume, waste no time as he pulled him by his collar and shoved him against the nearest locker. Gasps and screams were heard in the hallway as students stared at Koko in sheer horror. His sudden actions had shocked them.
"You're a bastard, Natsume," Koko spat angrily, digging his nails deeply into Natsume's shoulder blades, hoping to leave a mark. Natsume grunted, glaring at Koko.
"What the hell!" he glowered dangerously.
There was a strange glint in his eyes that could only be seen by Natsume. It was obvious that Koko was furious, yet nobody knew the real reason as to why he was. Not even Natsume. It was obvious the reason wasn't because they accidentally bumped into each together. Everyone thought it was because of Sumire. But that wasn't true. He spent an hour thinking about it during his one week-long rest, after coming to the conclusion that he had moved on.
"You don't deserve her!"
"Shouda?"
Koko glowered, shaking his head. "No. Mikan!" he shouted, feeling his hands shaking from fury.
"What does she have to do with anything?"
Natsume was quick when it came to figuring things out. It only took him a moment to realize what made Koko react that way, and when he did, Natsume leaned back, smirking cockily.
"Eh? Don't tell me you're interested in Mikan." He saw the shock clear in Koko's eyes. Koko didn't answer immediately and glared hard at Natsume before abruptly pulling away.
'I knew it.'
Koko pointed at him in outrage. He appeared to be surprised, but the look quickly faded. "You're with someone else even after knowing how Mikan really felt about you," Koko accused.
"Does it matter? Shouda's kinda my type. Mikan isn't."
"But what about her feelings?"
"What about it?"
Natsume's dry response finally snapped Koko. He hadn't planned to do anything brutal to the emotionless boy, yet he just couldn't keep his cool. He wondered, what happened to Natsume? They used to be good friends during elementary and middle school days. At some point, he would even admit to once looking up to Natsume, as if he were a hero. Now he realized that it was silly. Natsume wasn't a hero. He was anything but one.
And once again, without thinking about the consequences to his actions, Koko lunged forward at him with his fist outstretched. His knuckles made a brief contact with Natsume's delicate flesh, knocking him down. He wasn't finished with him yet, but as soon as he loomed over Natsume's figure, Koko felt someone grabbing his shoulders, pulling him away.
"It's not worth it," Kitsuneme said, "Stop."
Kitsuneme had about two inches and fifteen pounds on Koko, so attempting to get out of his grip would have been idiotic. Looking back, he caught sight of a girl crouching down in front of Natsume, trying to help him out. Everyone was now gathered around him, filled with pity.
Koko turned away. "Yeah. You're right," he said, "I feel better now."
.
.
By the time they reached the door to the cafeteria, Koko stood still, his fingers wrapped around the metal knob. Kitsuneme stared at him, patting him on the shoulder. It didn't have to take a mind reader for his friend to notice how nervous he was.
"Are you ready?" he asked, looking at him with curiosity dripping in his voice.
Koko chuckled, shifting his knee anxiously. It was hard trying to stay calm and cool as he leaned against the door frame, breathing heavily. He felt as if his nerves were doing jumping jacks. There was a loud pounding and it took Koko longer than it should have for him to recognize that the pounding was his heart. He was nervous – real nervous.
"No," he said honestly, "But let's just get this over with."
"Don't worry," Kitsuneme assured him. "I won't leave your side."
That was all it took for Koko to finally push the door open, take a wobbly step, and make his journey towards the table where they usually sat at without saying another word.
He was afraid that once people saw him inside, he would capture all of their attention. After the turn of events in the hallway, he assumed everyone would've known what went down between him and Natsume. But, to his surprise, nobody said anything. They had noticed his entrance, and some turned to their friends and began to murmur, but it wasn't as bad as Koko had imagined. It wasn't like they were secretly attacking him with their thoughts, yet, this was one of those days where Koko wished he didn't have the Mind-Reading Alice.
"I knew you wouldn't come here early today. I saved the both of you cheese burgers. They run out quickly, you know?"
Koko slumped down on an empty seat in front of Mochu while Kitsuneme sat next to him. There were two medium-sized burgers wrapped in aluminum foil waiting to be eaten. As if on cue, Koko's stomach growled loudly, demanding for food. His two friends teasingly laughed at him.
"Shut up," he groaned, picking up his burger before taking a big bite. "This is delicious!" he commented delightedly.
"Uh..."
Koko noticed the anxious look on Mochu's face while staring blankly at him. He feigned ignorance as he continued to savor the taste of his freshly made burger. Sneakily, he glanced at Mochu, locking gazes. Koko noticed how he was silently drumming his fingers on the table, a gesture he only did when he was ready to crack. Sensing something was up, he rolled his eyes, sighing.
After taking another swallow, Koko asked, "Something you want to say?"
"Well, I was wondering..."
Koko groaned. "Get on with it."
"...If there's something going on between you and Mikan?"
Silence.
"What?" Koko spat.
'Stop trying to act surprised. It's pretty obvious.'
"What's pretty obvious?"
Mochu leaned forward, squinting his small eyes as he studied Koko's expression carefully, before saying out loud what he had in mind, "Someone stole your heart."
In an instant, Kitsuneme, who was coincidentally drinking from his water bottle, choked at the mention of Koko crushing on Mikan. He abruptly tossed the bottle aside, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, coughing.
"Oh. God. Don't say something like that when I'm chugging down an entire bottle of water," Kitsuneme croaked, still coughing hysterically, "It hurts."
"You okay, man?" Koko asked feigning concern as he patted Kitsuneme's back.
Mochu only rolled his eyes at him.
"Well, Koko?"
"Well what?"
"Some kids from class told me that they saw you slamming Natsume against a locker and that you punched him square in the face. If it doesn't have anything to do with Sumire, then it definitely has something to do with Mikan."
It took him a minute to respond. He clicked his tongue and turned away. "It isn't what you think..."
'Liar.'
Koko frowned.
"It's true!" he defended quickly at Mochu's dry remark, "Oh come on, Mochu."
It seemed like Koko was trying to assure Mochu that he didn't have any feelings whatsoever towards the brunette, claiming the idea was absurd, though, it was clear that he also was having a hard time believing in his own words. He wasn't just saying this to Mochu, but somehow, he was trying to convince himself, as well.
"So I'm assuming you don't want to know why she suddenly ran off when you came inside?" Mochu said after a short pause, tilting his head. "She looked troubled."
Koko rolled his eyes. "You're shitting me."
Mochu shrugged in response. "Okay, then I'm not telling you anything."
'You'll crack any second now...'
"I bet you don't even know."
"He doesn't," Kitsuneme piped in, "Anyone with or without the Mind-Reading Alice would know that."
Mochu frowned. "Hey!" he protested. "I could've fooled him into admitting his undying love for Mikan Sakura!"
"Well, you didn't," Koko remarked, "Do you even have any idea where she went to, at least?"
A knowing look and a smirk had replaced Mochu's frown. "Eh? So you really do li-"
"Don't start making assumptions now, Mochu. I just want to know where she ran off to," Koko cut off, rubbing his temples. He wasn't used to being confronted about his feelings for a girl. Sumire was the only one he ever really had a huge crush on, and besides that, he was actually really inexperienced with these kinds of situations. So all in all, if he did have to admit it, Koko would come to his own conclusion that he was, in fact, denial.
"Okay. Okay. I get it, God," Mochu stated flatly before jabbing a thumb behind him, "She exited that way, which only leads to one specific place. You figure out the rest."
With a brief thank you and an abandoning of his half-eaten burger, Koko rushed outside. Usually, students would leave the cafeteria using the main door instead of the one at the back. There weren't many people around that area, so he didn't have much difficulty getting through. He wondered why Mikan went this way. Maybe it was because she wanted to cool off alone where she would be isolated in a place people rarely went. Yet, Koko was smart enough to know he couldn't just let her be by herself. She was, after all, going through a tough time.
After using his perception skills to the test, he finally found her.
There she was, separated from everyone else in the academy's small garden. He found her lying down in a field of flowers, with her arms outstretched. She had this look on her face that just screamed that she was broken. At that very moment, it was the most that Koko ever truly wished he could read her mind. Just one tiny thought would have satisfied him.
As though she knew she wasn't alone anymore, Mikan turned to her right. Her eyes widened when they met Koko's. Yet, she didn't get up or do anything in particular, besides stare at him. In response, Koko used this opportunity to take a step closer until he was standing over her, blocking the sunlight with his back.
"Hey."
Mikan sighed.
"Mind if I join you?"
She glanced up, shrugging against the ground.
Koko grinned, and then slumped down next to her, looking up. The warm sun was a ray of beauty. After a minute of staring and enduring the painful sting his eyes were feeling, Koko turned away, chuckling. He wiped away a bud of a tear, blinking. "I like this place. It's so peaceful being here. Don't you think so?" he stated softly, turning to Mikan.
"Sure."
"I mean - it can get pretty lonely here, without anybody around.. But it's great. This is the perfect spot to watch the sun set."
"Oh."
He knew trying to lighten the mood wasn't really working at the moment. Mikan just had her heartbroken and was most likely having a horrible day, yet, Koko had no clue as to how to distract her from it, temporarily of course. He couldn't help but try.
"Mikan, what's bothering you?"
She squirmed slightly, making an uncomfortable expression. "It's nothing," she said after a short pause. Koko scoffed.
"I'm sure it's nothing."
It was obvious that she was trying to avoid the topic. Maybe she really didn't want to talk about it at the time. Yet, his need for an answer to his burning question was begging to be sufficed.
"Are you upset because of Natsume?"
At this, Mikan turned to face Koko, with tiny rose petals in her hair. It was impossible denying that he didn't feel anything towards her as she stared at him innocently, eyes naturally wide, her long wavy brown hair sprawled out, with her uneven tan line on her arms. She was perfectly imperfect. Just thinking about Mikan like this finally made him realize how he truly felt.
"I heard about what happened between you and Natsume from Anna. Is it true? Did you two really have a fight?" she bravely asked after a short pause.
Koko sheepishly scratched the back of his head, as if embarrassed. "Uh. It wasn't really a fight," he mumbled loud enough for Mikan to hear. "I just kinda snapped and punched him."
"Why would you do that?"
"Why not?"
Mikan blinked, turning to face forward. She stretched her arms up high behind her head. "He could've gotten hurt. You could've gotten in trouble," she said.
But Koko only shrugged, clearly it wasn't such a big deal to him. "Then it was worth it." The look on his face looked so certain that it was obvious he was talking about her. Too bad Mikan didn't notice.
In response, she rolled her eyes. "Nothing is worth getting a harsh punishment. If Jinno-sensei finds out about this, he won't go easy on you," she warned.
"I told you," he said, chuckling, "I don't really care. I defended your name and that's all that matters."
"My name? What are you talking about?"
Sometimes, Mikan could be so oblivious that it made simple things seem so hard to do. He couldn't tell whether Mikan was just trying too hard to act dumb or if she was naturally good at it. Because even airheads like her had their moments. He let out a long sigh, indicating his impatience. "You know exactly what I'm talking about Mikan. Don't even try to deny it."
A frown made its way to Mikan's lips. "What? Are you reading my mind again, Koko?"
"You know I'm blocked from your thoughts for life, Mikan. Well, unless you let me in."
Mikan sighed, "But you figured it out, huh?"
Unconsciously, he bent down to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling. He was starting to fall for her. Maybe it wasn't 'love', yet, he was sure that what he was feeling for the girl was close to it. The feeling was getting stronger now that he accepted it within himself. He could picture himself being with Mikan in the near future. If not as his partner, then maybe as someone he truly cared about.
"Are you ready to talk about it?"
"You'll listen?"
Koko nodded. "Always."
She opened her mouth to say something, but ended up closing it with a sigh. Her facial expressions gave off the impression that she was debating mentally to herself whether she should actually open up and be vulnerable towards him. Koko waited patiently, despite his agonizing want to find out. He knew that it was best not to push her, in this particular situation, into doing anything she may not have been ready to do. After a while, Mikan cleared her throat, catching his attention.
"It just happened so quickly - I never thought that the day would come where Natsume would finally get a girlfriend."
"You never expected that girl to be Sumire, did you?"
Mikan shook her head. "No, I didn't. Nobody did. Natsume always seemed to dislike Sumire for some reason, you know?" she paused, scoffing, "And then one day, Sumire comes up to me and blurts out for the entire academy to know that they're together. I hardly believed her until I came to Natsume and asked him."
"What did he say?"
She frowned. "He said it was true. It didn't sound like he was lying, but I couldn't decide whether I should believe him or not. I'm doubting things, Koko. I've never doubted anything in my life!"
"Well, can I ask you something?"
Mikan sniffed, blinking. "What is it?"
He didn't know where in the world the question came from, but when it finally came out, it was too late to take back his words. "Do you like Natsume?" It surprised not only Koko, but also Mikan when she heard the question she knew someone would one day ask.
"Yes."
It was a one word answer that somehow brought a pang of pain in Koko's heart. He had to turn away, not wanting her to see his hurt expression. Slowly, he felt something warm clouding his vision. Quickly, he blinked furiously, not knowing what it was that made him feel this way. Her voice was so sincere that it was impossible to even think she was lying. There were so many raw emotions presented not only by her tone, but also by her genuine expression.
To think someone as sweet as Mikan Sakura would fall deeply for Natsume Hyuuga, the boy who purposely shattered her heart into tiny pieces, tore into Koko's very mind and soul. Koko wasn't any different from him - except for the fact that he was worse. Up until now, he had obsessed over Mikan and cared about nothing more than trying to get into her head. If she knew about this dark secret of his, she would resent him, and he didn't want that.
"Oh?" he started, trying to hide his disappointment, "I see."
"It's stupid, I know."
"No it isn't."
By then, Mikan sat up, confused by Koko's words. "Really?" she asked in disbelief.
"Yeah," Koko whispered softly, closing his eyes, "It really isn't. This is how you feel Mikan. Cherish it because it may not last for very long. This is the first time you've ever got emotionally hurt. Now you know how it feels to be heartbroken. But don't worry! You'll find someone who would never intentionally make you cry. You're a special girl, Mikan. You deserve better."
It was an indirect confession - something Koko never expected to do. Maybe his timing was off, and maybe he should have waited a little while longer before rushing into anything. Yet, she needed to know that he would be there for her, always. It was a promise he intended to keep. Even if his feelings were one-sided in the end and no matter how much it would come to hurt him, his heart was set on capturing hers. What mattered the most was her happiness, and if Natsume couldn't keep her smiling, then he would.
"Yeah. You're right," Mikan said, touching her face, "Thanks, Koko. I'm glad I talked to you about this. I'm really thankful for you."
Koko laughed heartily, his face heating up by Mikan's soft gaze. His stomach suddenly churned, a nervous feeling he hadn't felt ever since he was with Sumire. If it was this easy to fall in blissful love with Mikan Sakura, he would've done it a long time ago. It was a sensation that he couldn't quite describe, yet, he knew that it was one of the best feelings he had ever gotten.
"I'll never leave your side, Mikan. Whenever you need me, I'll be there."
And he meant every word.
.
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Reference:
Interpret this quote by Neil Gaiman:
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
Three different ways. 1. Sumire and Koko's break up. 2. Mikan's heartbreak over Natsume. 3. Koko realizing his own feelings for Mikan.
Obsession
Koko in this story has three obsessions. If you figured out at least one of them, then give yourself a pat on the back.
Embarrassing Situation
This was probably the easiest one to do. I just love putting Mikan in an awkwardly embarrassing situation with... Sumire.
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I know. It's long and kinda rushed, so please let me know what you think! ._.