Love Today

Disclaimer: I do not own RENT, nor do I own the song Love Today by Mika. This is my second ipod challenge fic.

Italicized lyrics are from Love Today by Mika

Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today, gonna love today
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today
Any way you want to
Any way you've got to
Love love me, love love me, love love

People call me an attention whore. True-- I love to be the center of everything. I love the spotlight and there's nothing better than getting in front of a crowd, getting them worked up and then having them follow me. It doesn't matter if they're mooing or clapping or singing along: it's all good. I show a piece of myself in every performance and feel the love back from my audience. I crave love and attention. Maybe that's why it didn't work out with Mark. He was just too busy noticing the rest of the world instead of focusing on what's important: Me.

I've been trying for so long
Fightin' tears just to carry on
But now, but now it's gone away

Now don't get me wrong: Marky is a wonderful guy, but he's just not right for me. He did help me out of a bad spot. I had followed one of my exes to New York in order to escape that hellhole known as Hicksville. The Neanderthal I was dating started getting controlling and paranoid. At first, he'd make me call him whenever I went anywhere. That wasn't too bad, but then he started following me to auditions and limiting who I could see. I saw Mark at an audition. He was the freelance camera guy for this one director and we got to talking. It turned out that I had attended his Bar Mitzvah when we were thirteen. My parents were friends with his or something like that. Anyway, I didn't get the part, but I got Mark's number. The Caveman didn't approve of me talking to other guys, so I ended up calling Mark from a closet and moved onto his couch that day.

Hey girl, why can't you carry on?
Is it cause you're just like your mother?
A little tight, like to tease for fun
Well you ain't gonna tease no other
Gonna make you a lover

It took a few weeks, but I eventually moved from Mark's couch to his bedroom. He was really loving, but not exactly what I needed. As I mentioned, I love to be in the spotlight and crave undivided attention. I teased and flirted. I don't think it really bothered Mark too much. He tried to make it work, but I needed more. I didn't like competing with his camera, so I looked around for attention from other sources.

Girl in the blue with the big bust on, big bust on, big bust on
Wait til your mama and your papa's gone, papa's gone
Mama, mama papa
Shock shock me, shock shock me, shock shock

One of the major advantages of New York was there was very little that could get back to my parents. In Hicksville, I felt like I was always under glass. Everyone knew my folks and if I even batted my eyelashes at someone else, word would reach dear old Mom and Dad. In high school, I realized that I watched the girls just as much as the boys, but never could act on it. I got to know Mark's roommates more. I got along with them all fairly well, though I found Benny to be a bit of a prick. I'd accompany Roger to gigs on occasion, but Collins and I got along the best. We were co-conspirators. He loved to play tricks on Mark and would suggest we go to places that catered to same sex couples just to see how Mark would react, being from kind of a conservative background. He blushed at first (a beautiful rosy pink that I wish my blush came in), but he then looked around with great interest. It's no longer so easy to shock him, and he's actually been interested in going to some of the clubs that cater to all genders and sexualities.

Carolina sits on ninety five
Give her a dollar and she'll make you smile
Hook her, book her, nook her
Walk away

I met Joanne at one such establishment. Mark had a rare paying gig in the morning and had to leave early. I stayed and danced for a while. This beautiful, strong, voluptuous woman couldn't keep her eyes off of me. That's what I craved from Mark. He'd look away after a few minutes. She invited me to her place after our first dance, not realizing that I was with someone. I didn't mention Mark. In fact, I completely forgot about him. That was the first time I'd ever gone beyond simple flirting. Although I felt guilty, it was the catalyst I needed to realize that I was being unfair to Mark. He's still my savior, and one of the first people I'd call if I needed a friend, but he doesn't worship me like I need him too. It got kind of awkward at the loft for a couple of weeks, after I dumped him. It's really hard to avoid your ex if you live in the same apartment.

Girl dresses like a kid for fun
Licks her lips like there's something other
Tries to tell you life has just begun
Now you know she's getting something other
Than the love from her mother

I'm working at being with Joanne. I still need constant attention and do almost anything for it. Unlike Mark, Joanne considers flirting a form of cheating. Joanne has tried to get me to focus on fighting for what I believe. She told me that I could gain the attention I crave and turn it into ways of helping my friends and neighbors. I think it's going to work better with Joanne than it did with Mark. I love how she practically worships me. It's like I'm the only woman in the world when she's around me. After only a few weeks together, she invited me to move in. And she's helping me with my protest against Benny, about whom my initial instincts were correct. Now, if only we can get that digital delay to work.

Everybody's gonna love today, love today, love today
Everybody's gonna love today
Any way you want to
Any way you've got to
Love love me, love love me, love love