This is my first story so I hope you enjoy it! Please R&R! I do not own anything in The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Thank you!
Grace's thoughts are in italics and Ricky's are in bold.
I sat there looking up at the sky, wondering if I made the right decision. I asked God if I made the right choice by letting Jack go. I loved him. I really did. He was my first everything as far as romantic relationships go. I thought he really loved me too but he cheated on me so many times. I just couldn't take it anymore. Plus we're going to different colleges so it would be hard to stay together. Why did God make my love life so hard? I don't like feeling like this but I can't help it. I'm only 19 and I feel like I've been through more drama than someone my mom's age. However my mom has been through a lot. I admire her strength every day. I still can't believe she married George again. I guess they loved each other more than I thought. Maybe that's a sign that I should get back with one of my exes? I mean, if it worked for mom, why wouldn't it work for me? Grant and I had a lot in common. Then again, I feel like he used our similarities to just sleep with me. There's Daniel but he said I was too immature for him. He's probably going to start a career soon anyway. How would that work? I'm almost a freshmen in college. I just don't know what to do. What about.. oh gosh… Ricky? I was really in love with him. In fact, I think I loved him more than Jack at one point. His smile, hair, eyes, and … get a grip Grace! He has a kid with my step sister! There's no way that would work! Plus he's slept with so many other girls. But I did forgive him for that when I "dated" him. I need to go to sleep cause it's 1 am. Ugh. I really don't want to go to church tomorrow but I need to. Please God help me! Good night!
Finally John is asleep. What a long day. I still can't believe Amy's gone. How could she have just left me like that? I told her I loved her. I guess it wasn't enough. Women… You'd think I'd know everything there is to know about them by now. Man, love is hard. Every girl I've been with, I'd either just use to get some or to just talk to so I could feel better about my insecurities. When will I grow up? Then again, I have grown up a lot in the past year. I'm a great father, no one of the best fathers! I just don't get why I have everything I want except the only thing that matters to me which is a real relationship. The closest I ever got to a real one was when I was with Amy. Then again, we did argue a lot so I guess it wasn't that real. It was pretty artificial cause I think she only used me for John. How dare she just leave us like that? Then again, John kind of trapped her throughout her entire high school career. Now she finally has the opportunity to live her life how she wants. I can't just take that away from her. She does deserve it and besides, I really love John with all my heart. And Adrienne. I thought she was the one for a while but she was right. We were really only bed buddies. I feel awful for taking advantage of her for so long. At least she's happy now with Omar. He seems like a really great guy. So many thoughts in my head, it's hard to straighten them all out sometimes. Now that I think about it, the one person who pushed me to be the man I am today was the one I should have stayed closer to. Grace Bowman. That girl really encouraged me to step up to the plate to be a better person. Every time we talked, I wouldn't have a worry in the world. There's something magical about her that made me just seem more humble and calm. Maybe it's that whole God thing. Even though she's been through a lot of stuff, she's always kept her faith. I wonder what's she's been up to. I wonder if she could be… No who am I kidding? She knows I'm not good enough for her. Plus she's going to start college soon. I just don't know. Oh dang! It's already 2 am. I need to go to bed so I can take John to the park tomorrow. I think I'll just sleep on the couch. Zzzzz…
Let me know what you think! I plan on writing more this weekend! Thank you! :)