DIGNITY : A Jo Harvelle Story
"This is why we're here." It echoed in her mind when they said their good byes like a broken record Ash put in the jukebox.
When Sam let go of her hand, the cold slipped in and it wouldn't be long now. Her heart was already feeling the strain. Dean's lips on her forehead, on her own pale lips, those were the only warm spots left in her. She could still feel their touch and how even in her failing body, a spark shivered up her spine; her last taste of life. How she would miss that; miss him.
And her mother. Her mother, who was so stubborn, so stupidly stubborn that she wouldn't leave her. Jo didn't care if what she said made sense, she wanted her mother to live. Even when she was crying out inside for her mother to be there with her in those last moments, to tell her that everything would be alright, Jo wanted her mother to keep going and fighting. Ellen had to survive the apocalypse. She knew, though, that her mother would never leave her side and she thanked God for that.
She let them leave, her eyes taking them in for the last time. Dean wouldn't look at her and Sam looked at her too much. No one wanted this to happen, but they couldn't stop it. It was inevitable, but Jo was going to be strong for them. She was going to hang onto that trigger and she was going to do what she could to save them.
Her mother went and kicked aside the salt, unchained the doors while she slumped on the floor where she'd been the whole time, unable to move her legs, hardly able to get her lungs to work. The pain, so sharp before felt like an echo. It was still there but she was disconnected from it. Her body didn't feel like her own. She was lost in her own limbs and so tired.
Her father would be proud. He would have wanted her to put the hunt first and no other hunt was more important than this one. She had laid her life out there for them and she was going to pay the price. The price was steep, but what price in her life hadn't been? She had given up so much of her life to the job, there was no way else it could have ended.
She leaned into her mother's arms as they sat side by side to face the hell hounds. Her broken body collapsed against the warmth and strength of her healthy mother. This was the end. She could feel it. The doors burst open. No more Sam with that shy smile he always had. No more Bobby trying to keep her safe after her dad died. No more Dean and the constant struggle to hide her feelings. There was nothing left but to give in to the heaviness in her eyes.
What they say isn't true: she didn't see her life pass before her fading vision. She saw the black and white picture Bobby took of them before they left. The smell of the house and the laughter coming from her mother and the angel. Jo felt the thrill of besting Dean at his own game. And heard the tearing of her own flesh. Those were the last thoughts that ran through her head before the edges crept in and everything went black.
Before her heart stopped.
"If this is my last night on Earth, I'm going out with some dignity."