So what! Clair thought as she slammed her locker shut and leaned back onto it, grasping her books in her hand, as a blond boy stalked off down the hall with his friends after whispering "slut" behind her back. His friends were cracking up like he had told the best joke in the world. Let them laugh at me… it won't matter in the end. All of this will blow over, it has to.
But the thing was, ever since that Saturday of detention, Clair's mind had no longer been filled with the girlish things it usually was. She had spent most of her time- oh fuck it- all of her time focusing her thoughts on John Bender. Everything about him intrigued her; the way he smiled and laughed; the way he kissed; the taste of his lips; the smell of his hair. All these things she just couldn't stop thinking of. Which made it worse to get all the stares and rude comments from people she thought were her friends. If she couldn't get over it, what were the chances that the gossip-and-teasing loving kids in her school would?
She had been the most popular girl in school, but somehow everyone had found out about her and John's Saturday detention kissing. After that school had been pure hell on earth. She pretended not to care, but deep down her heart was aching at every face pulled at her, every fake smile, every un-kind word thrown at her. She had only kissed him! She knew so many girls who would have gone all the way! Why did everyone expect her to be some perfect role-model all the time, never caring about her own feelings?
Clair got up from her half sitting position on against her locker and started down the hall, dreading entering home room. She had been dreading this class for so long. Every day was the same thing. The jeers at her; the un-kind words; the cat-calls. It made trying to get a good education pretty hard. Before she hadn't minded being disturbed in class. That was when it would have been a note full of juicy gossip or a friend turning in his or her chair to tell Clair something.
As she walked in she realized that today wasn't going to be any better. Someone had carved a big heart with the words "I love John Bender" into her desk. The once gleaming wooded surface was covered in red kiss marks and bright pink hearts all around the carved heart. Clair dropped her books on top of the markings, trying desperately to cover all of them.
"Wouldn't your boyfriend be upset about you covering the fact that you love him?" a girl named Jayne called loudly from a few seats behind her.
Clair could feel all eyes in the room on her as they laughed. Let them laugh! Clair thought, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. It doesn't mean anything, so what if I love him! At least I have someone to love… But even those thoughts didn't help her this time, and soon she found tears running down her cheeks. The rest of the class quickly picked up on that fact and laughed harder.
Clair was very glad when their teacher walked in and told everyone to settle down.
"Do you need to go tot eh nurse?" he said looking straight at her
"No, I'm fine." Clair replied. Even if she felt she was being torn apart inside, she wouldn't let them have the satisfaction of driving her out of the classroom.