Title: If You Only Knew 1/?
Author: theblackrose16
Beta: elsa_kallan

Summary: Merlin has spent his whole life hiding things. Living in Camelot merely added to the secrets that he needed to keep. As time goes on and he spends more time with Arthur, Merlin comes to realise that he in is love with the blonde Prince. He is completely unprepared for the fact that Arthur may just return his feelings. As if he didn't have enough to hide, Merlin now has to juggle hiding who he is and his relationship with Arthur. Sooner or later something has to give and all the young warlock can hope for is to still be standing when the dust settles. Set at the end of Season 2

Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Leon, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, Uther, Gauis, Morgause
Genre: slash | Semi-Cannon
Warnings: language, slash, violence, mature sexual situations, spoilers, mpreg
Rating: NC–17
Word Count: 2, 181

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~XOX~

Chapter One

The day started out normal. Well, at least relatively normal for him because... normal?

Ha!

The mere idea of anything being normal around him was ludicrous. He had secrets. So many secrets that his secrets had begun to have secrets. And these were not your small, everyday run of the mill secrets. These were BIG secrets. As in I-will-be-executed-or-thrown-on-the-pyre-faster-than-I-can- say-I'm-a-warlock secrets.

Merlin had had magic all of his life. He couldn't even remember a time he hadn't been able to do magic. Added to that, he was now also a Dragonlord due to his father's death. It was still a sore point for him, to have come so close to having a father only to lose him. Merlin wasn't even sure what all was entailed in being a Dragonlord. He had no idea as to the first thing he could do with the magic that came with being a Dragonlord. It was something that he had to figure out on his own, mostly by trial and error which was so going.

The one secret that really got to him though was that he was completely and utterly in love with Arthur Bloody Pendragon.

Now the first might not have been a bad thing except for the fact that anything magical or associated with magic in Camelot was immediately destroyed upon discovery. Merlin had to be so careful so as not to get caught, and he stayed silent about his love for the blonde, fearing that should the object of his affections know how he felt, he would be sent away permanently.

It was shortly after Merlin had brought Arthur his breakfast that he first felt something strange was going on. Merlin quickly glanced up towards the table where Arthur was eating to find that Arthur was staring at right him. This was not unusual in itself. Arthur sometimes watched him working, occasionally pointing out a missed spot or wrinkle. However, this stare was different. Arthur was not watching Merlin make his bed but was in fact watching Merlin himself.

"Is anything wrong, Arthur?"

Arthur blinked at Merlin, broken out of his thoughts by the question.

"No. Nothing is the matter," then seeming to remember himself, he pointed to the bed Merlin was making, "You missed a wrinkle, Merlin"

Merlin muttered under his breath even as he smoothed out the last wrinkle on the corner of Arthur's bed. He had to smile though. Arthur could be such a prat sometimes - no, scratch that. Arthur was always a prat and a royal one at that. It would appear that Merlin had just grown quite used to him and his attitude.

"Come along, Merlin," Arthur commanded as he stood and moved to walk out the door.

His manservant glanced up from the task he had just completed and called out, "Wait, Arthur." Merlin quickly hurried after him before he could open the door.

"What is it this time?" Came the exasperated sigh as the Crown Prince turned around to face him.

Merlin stopped directly in front of Arthur and reached up to smooth down Arthur's hair.

"Can't have you going out with your hair looking like a bird's nest, can we Sire?" Merlin commented while smoothing the last few strands of Arthur's golden hair, a grin tugging at the edge of his lips.

Merlin glanced up at Arthur and stopped. There was that look again. Arthur was looking down at him with amusement, exasperation and something else. Something Merlin didn't get a chance to examine as Arthur stepped back, cleared his throat and spoke surprisingly gently.

"We had better be going now. My father is expecting me for the council meeting today and if I'm late he will surely blame you and send you to the stocks."

The again was silently added. For some unknown reason, Merlin blushed.

"Yes, of course," Merlin immediately replied and followed behind Arthur to the throne room.

~XOX~

Throughout the meeting, Arthur kept giving Merlin the same strange looks from earlier. He was subtle about it, and answered when attention was drawn to him, but he was still watching Merlin.

What in the name of Camelot is going on in Arthur's mind? Why is he looking at me like that?

The meeting itself was boring. Lord Godwin and Lord Steele could never agree on anything and today was no different. It seemed like half the morning was taken up by their arguing back and forth with the occasional comment thrown in from someone else. It was all so Merlin allowed his thoughts to wander all the while trying to look like he was paying attention.

Mentally he went over the chores that he needed to still complete. He also needed to stop by Gaius at some point to collect the potions that he had to deliver to the various nobles residing in Camelot presently. His thoughts wandered further and the dark haired young man considered his mother. He had to remember to write to her again soon. A couple of knights were going in the direction of Ealdor in three days time. Usually, he passed his letters to whichever knights or servants that he knew were going that way. They in turn delivered it to the innkeeper in the border town just before Ealdor. Harrison then passed the letter on to his mother. It was a bit of a hassle and took a while but it was just about the only way to keep in regular contact with his mother without using his magic.

Merlin was startled out of his thoughts when King Uther called the meeting to a close. Everybody rose and began to file from the room, some with rather relieved looks upon their faces. A few minutes later, Arthur was once again in front of Merlin.

"Come along, Merlin. I'm going to go and train the knights."

With that, he walked off down the corridor but not before he once again gave Merlin another quick, strange look. Running to catch up with Arthur, Merlin asked him the question that had been plaguing his mind all morning.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that? Have I done something wrong?"

He mentally ran through everything that he had done in the last couple of days and came up empty handed. For once he'd managed to stay out of trouble for a while, which was quite a feat.

"No, Merlin. You have done nothing wrong."

"Then why do you keep looking at me like that?" Merlin asked, completely confused by now. His forehead scrunched up and he bit his lower lip as he thought about what could be bothering Arthur.

"Like what, Merlin?" Arthur asked stopping just before the training grounds to look at his manservant.

"Like that," Merlin exclaimed, pointing at Arthur's face, his finger a mere inch from the Crown Prince's face.

"Honestly, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Arthur turned on his heel and strode to the training grounds. Stopping and glancing over his shoulder. He called out, "You coming or are you going to stand there all day?"

Merlin's breath caught in his throat at the picture Arthur made. Dressed in chain mail and with the red Pendragon insignia on his vest, the sun shining on his golden hair and a teasing smile gracing his face. Merlin's heart skipped a beat and then he pulled himself together, shoving such thoughts deep down and took off running once more after Arthur.

They made their way to the training grounds in silence but it was a companionable, comfortable silence. Not one of those awkward, I-wish-I-was-anywhere-else silences.

The knights were already standing on the training fields, working their way through various warming up exercise that Arthur had drilled into them from day one. Merlin helped Arthur gather his weapons and don the appropriate protective gear before retreating to the sidelines to observe.

He would never admit it but watching Arthur train was one of his favourite pastimes.

An hour into the practice, Merlin disappeared to the kitchens for a short while. He quickly returned with water, some bread and a piece of cheese for when Arthur would take a break to give the knights a moment to catch their collective breaths. After two years, the raven haired young man liked to think that he knew Arthur well enough by now to be able to anticipate something like this.

Once Arthur had downed the water and taken a few bites of the bread and cheese, he gave Merlin a tiny smile of thanks before gathering his men again.

Like usual the training was intense but Arthur was a fair leader. Merlin could already see the improvement in some of the newer knights that had arrived a few months ago.

As the training session was coming to an end, another servant approached Merlin.

"Merlin, the King requires a word with Prince Arthur," Samuel informed him quietly.

Merlin nodded, "Of course. I'll see that he's there shortly."

Sam smiled in thanks before turning and disappearing back into the castle. Merlin looked back at the field in time to see the knights disbanding and Arthur striding towards him. His armour was glittering with the sun's reflection, his sword held loosely in his hand.

"Merlin," Arthur greeted him cheerfully.

The young warlock had to suppress the urge to sigh. He knew what the blonde was going to say before he even opened his mouth.

"My armour is going to needed polishing and my sword sharpened," the Crown Prince almost gleefully informed him.

Rolling his eyes, Merlin merely helped Arthur shed his armour. With quick, nimble fingers he pulled off Arthur's gauntlets as he spoke. "The King would like a word with you."

"Right," Arthur nodded distractedly. "I'm sure you can find something to keep yourself busy and out of trouble while I'm speaking with my father."

Merlin gasped, "I don't get into that much trouble."

Arthur's eyebrow rose in response to Merlin's outrageous protest. Shaking his head, he gently cuffed Merlin on the back of the head and then went in search of his father.

The young warlock dropped Arthur's armour off in the room off of the armoury where he would polish it later. Next he went to retrieve Arthur's clean laundry. Melanie and Andrea were both in the washroom and greeted Merlin with cheerful smiles. Over the last two years he'd become friends with a number of the servants that he saw on a regular basis.

"Merlin, how are you today?"

"I'm good, Melanie. How is Jacob?"

Melanie tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear as she answered Merlin's query. "He's growing bigger every day. I think that soon enough he will be as tall as my husband."

"Is Matthew recovering well? He hasn't gotten worse?" Melanie was a good woman and she loved her husband very much. Matthew had had very bad chest pains recently and a bit of a wet cough that Gaius had prescribed a tonic for.

"He's much better. I wanted to thank you again Merlin for asking Gaius for help. I don't know what I would have done if Matthew didn't recover."

"You're a good man, Merlin" Andrea spoke up.

Merlin blushed, the colour working its way across his face, up his ears and down his neck. It wasn't often that he received such praise from anyone other than Gaius. Then again nobody besides Gaius knew what all he did.

The two women laughed at Merlin's uncomfortable fidgeting. Andrea handed Merlin a basket while chuckling under her breath.

"Here you go, Prince Arthur's clean laundry."

Grateful, Merlin took the basket from her. "Thanks for helping with it."

Andrea waved a hand dismissively. "It's no problem. You do more than your own share of the work, Merlin. We don't mind helping out."

Smiling softly, Merlin carried the basket back to Arthur's chambers and packed all the clean laundry away.

He made a trip to Gaius, collected the necessary potion and set off to deliver them. Lord Whitely gulped his down the second it was placed in his hand as usual. Lady Arielle was out so he left her potion on the table in the room. The rest of the potions were delivered with ease and without Merlin running into Arthur once.

When all the potions were delivered, Merlin made his way to the armoury and the little room just off of it. Collecting Arthur's armour, he made himself comfortable on the floor and spread the armour in a circle on the floor around him and began polishing it. It took some time to polish all the armour and sharpen Arthur' sword but Merlin was proud that he managed to complete the task in time to make it back to Arthur's chambers to lay out an outfit for the Crown Prince for dinner. It helped that he could use his magic to make the process go faster.

After laying out Arthur's clothes, Merlin returned to Gaius to grab something to eat for himself. He still had a few things that needed to be done before he retired for the night.