Prologue

Unnaturally, it was much earlier than when my daughter stirred, pained for food and woke up. I could hear her little wails in and out of my own sleep; I finally came to, waking up to tend to her. It was also different this time however, as she did not continue with her crying as she normally did until I or Raphael attended to her. When I woke up and realized that Raph wasn't sleeping next to me, I automatically assumed that he had gotten up and left to take care of Satsuna. As much as my body fought for me to stay in bed and fall back to asleep, internally I felt something was wrong.

As I slunk out of bed, throwing on a housecoat to cover myself up, I quietly left my bedroom, making my way down the hallways towards my daughters room. I remembered when Raph and I were decorating her room, before she was even born. We had spent the weekend painting and putting together baby furniture, the glow of parenthood encompassed us. When I first found out I was pregnant, it took me quite a while to accept that I was going to become a mother and Raphael, my partner and our baby's father. When I was completely sure I was pregnant, I told Raph and he, couldn't control his happiness in the good news. I knew that he took longer to trust people and form a relationship with them but this, our union together showed him that what the two of us had was concrete, was worth sharing with our own children, our own family. He had grown to be even more protective of me and somewhat wary of his own self, the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint our child. When I found out later on that we were having a baby girl, Raph swore himself to the both of us. No matter what would happen, if anything, his life was unworthy and unimportant to ours, our happiness greater than his.

Satsuna was only seven days old as today started, a week of her life shared with family and friends and without a doubt, sincere love and affection. The only "family" that didn't give their warm blessings was Vickie but I didn't consider her as family anymore. Undoubtedly, Raph was a natural as being a father; his every waking breath was set towards Satsuna.

I never did truly witness Raphael's gentle and devoting side fully, even when the two of us shared private and romantic moments together. This was a whole new level, one that could have only been awakened by entering the role as a father. Satsuna, as Raph said, was the luckiest little girl in the world.

Satsuna's bedroom door was slightly open, a tiny sliver of light escaped from the crack of the door. There was not a sound to be heard, nothing from Satsuna or Raph who, would always try to coo her to sleep. Gingerly, I pushed open the door, my heart warming with the promise of seeing Raph holding our baby girl in his arms, telling her that she was the most beautiful little girl in the world. When I fully opened the door and stepped into the room, Raph was kneeling down, his body hunched forward, his hands out and palms upwards. I didn't understand at first what he was doing; something was definitely off with this picture.

I looked over at Satsuna's crib, the blankets tossed and bunched, looking displaced. My baby wasn't in her crib. I looked back at Raph, his body heaving with irregular breath. What was happening? Where was my baby?

I slowly walked towards Raphael, clutching my nightgown closer to my body. Words were caught in my throat and my hands were shaking, the silence in the air hung like a heavy fog and I found it difficult to breathe.

"Raph?"

My voice cracked and I tried peering over his shoulder. He pushed me away, hovering further inwards, hiding what was before him on the floor.

Something snapped inside of me; fear, anxiety, something I've never felt before. I grabbed his arm, pulling it as I tried to drag him away. His hands were covered in blood; some of it was even dripping off of his fingertips. He didn't say a word, just his body communicated with me, pushing me farther away. I tried with all my strength, tears welling and clouding my eyes, my body shaking without control. I couldn't hear myself scream nor could I hear Raph yelling at me to leave, to walk away.

When I finally broke through past him, his bloody hands clutched tightly at my nightgown, I saw what he was trying to hide from me, where the blood had come from. All of my senses came back full throttle, the silence deafening me with a shattering noise. My throat was sore; I knew my voice would be hoarse if I tried speaking. What was worse was that my tears had stopped, there was no more emotion could display in response to the scene laid out before me.

Satsuna was lying on her back, her hands curled up by her mouth as if she was sucking on her tiny fist. She looked peaceful, even more so than when she was asleep. Her chest had no rise or fall nor did her body twitch in dream and sleep. She was however asleep. A permanent and premature sleep.

I fell down to my knees, my shaking hands reaching out to pick up my daughter. She felt like a dead weight, nothing more than a plastic doll with perfect skin and closed eyes. Her neck was bruised to a dark purple, her lips sky blue, and little rings around her eyes were a pink hue. She had been strangled, coughed up blood and left for dead. I brought her slowly up to my chest, hoping that if I held her close to my breasts, which the warmth would bring her back to me, which this was something I could fix.

Raphael was sitting next to me on the floor, his hands were placed on top of his thighs, blood was smeared all over him. His eyes were glazed over, and expressionless mask covered his face. It hit me then and I held my dead baby girl close to my chest that Raphael, her father, had killed her.

I kept my gaze on him, my emotions changing from shock to disgust to finally anger. I stood up suddenly, Satsuna still in my arms. Raph looked up at me then, his eyes met mine and I knew then, in that moment, he didn't regret what he had done to our daughter.

He had waked up on the seventh day of her life with the intention to kill her.

For nine months I allowed our baby to grow inside of me, to enter the world with utmost happiness, love, and the promise of a loving family. I had named her, fed her, clothed her, laid her down to sleep, and woke with her as the sun rose and now, on the seventh day, I would lay her back down to rest, return her to where she had just come from, seven days ago.

I backed out of the room, my daughter clutched against my breasts. I could still feel her soul in the room; a sickening and heavy presence lingered here too.

Raphael's soul was no longer with him, leaving an empty shell of a man who could, without remorse, kill his own daughter and betray the woman he loved.