It was a sunny day in the city of Edo. It's been 21 years since the Great War during which the legendary samurai, Sakata Gintoki and his comrades saved the earth from both the Liberation army and the Tendoshuu. Having now established peace with the rest of the universe, earth finally became recognized as an independent planet by the end of the colonization era and joined the Galactic Union as the representative and sole member of its solar system.

Sakata Gintoki, Shimura Shinpachi and Kagura- Those three who used to work as an odd jobs group doing literally anything for money, later on became known across the universe as the legendary Yorozuya three. However, despite the struggles of this legendary trio to protect the world, many lives were lost that day. But as usual, society adapted and kept on living as if the loss was non-existent.

And yet, the scars the war left on Planet Earth haven't completely healed...

On the way to school, in a dark alley, a bunch of students were kicking another student with crimson hair while he was laying on the ground "That should teach you not to act all cocky in front me! You think that just because your dad is some big shot in space you can stand up to me!? You lowly piece of trash!" said a bald kid while he landed one strong kick in his guts. As the group left him, yet another student with black hair, green eyes and a diamond earring hopped from the emergency stairs and helped him up "You could've kicked their asses" he told him "Yeah right, don't you know their parents are Yakuza? I would become filled with holes if I did something to them"

"Your perm head is already filled with holes anyway, so what's the problem?"

"How about I fill your guts with holes, huh Shinoyama*?" said the pissed redhead to Shinoyama "That won't do, Togeshiro*-kun. After all, I've still got those pictures from the time you were forced to work as a tranny. You don't want me leaking them to the school paper now, do you?" he said with a smirk. Togeshiro sighed "You haven't changed at all, have you? You're still the same sly snake as always" he said while walking alongside him to school.

New starts aren't always accepted as that next generation stuff almost never works on the nostalgic fans.

It was lunch break in the school they attended, called "Ginken Academy". Togeshiro and Shinoyama were eating their paid lunch and discussing about their work as they turned their heads towards a crowd of girls screeching and fawning over a guy with perfect light brown hair done in a low ponytail and crystal blue eyes. The lunch lady was waving her spoon towards him with a wink and Shinoyama was wondering whether he got free lunches "Ugh. How long do you think they're going to do that? We're already in the midst of our 11th grade and they're still going crazy over mister Uchiha there like he just arrived" said Togeshiro while smashing his glass with his right arm "Can you blame them? He's Okita Ryo. He's the son of both Okita Sougo, the greatest swordsman in the universe and the vice chief of the Shinsengumi, as well as THE Okita Kagura, one of the Yorozuya legendary trio, not to mention his good looks. I bet you that guy gets free lunches Every. Fucking. Day! You know, your father is also one of the legendary trio, why don't you tell anyone about it? I bet you could at least get us some within-expiration-date pudding with that reputation!" said Shinoyama with sparkling eyes and a drooling mouth.

"Don't bother" said Togeshiro with a waving of his hand while chugging down an entire bottle of Edo-Cola in seconds, ready to open another one "*burp* my dad is just a useless pair of glasses who barely comes to earth and when he does, he acts like a crazy fan who showers my idol sister with praise. Not to mention the fact that I prefer a low profile over that" he said while pointing at the growing crowd of fans and some of the students who work for the school's newspaper surrounding Ryo. "So you don't wanna get flooded with girls? Don't tell me you're that kind of guy!" he said while slowly sliding away from his place "Haha, very funny. The author isn't that desperate for views, you know?"

"Oi, you shouldn't say that, you will start a whole new war... Still, it's really hard to believe that a guy like that almost slaughtered someone like you back when you fought in 'The Lion Pit'" said Shinoyama while staring at Ryo with a face that was now suspicion. Togeshiro's expression turned into a serious and deadly stare as his dark purple eyes met with Ryo's stare, who in turn snuck him a psychotic smirk that sent shivers down both their spines "Yeah, the ugliest monsters wear the prettiest masks" he said while chugging down his second bottle of Edo-Cola.

"So what's the job this time?" asked Shinoyama "Well, apparently this old man wants to retrieve his family's secret treasure he buried somewhere and lost decades ago. His wife died a long time ago and he himself is on his deathbed, so he wants to witness the treasure he and his wife gathered during their whole lives before he passes away"

"So they were treasure hunters? Cool! And we get to seek for an ancient treasure, as well!" exclaimed an excited Shinoyama "You're thinking about this wrong, dear friend. You see, the old man doesn't remember what his treasure was anymore, but according to his son, he always bragged about it being the biggest treasure on this side of the planet. But you know, memories can be easily twisted, so what if his treasure didn't turn out to be as big? Or rather, what if some gold coins disappeared here and there, huh…?" he said while shouldering his friend and infecting him with a troll face "I see… It is true that some graves were robbed from their valuables across history, who's there to say it isn't the same with this one?"

They both laughed while shouldering each other like drunkards and blabbering at how crazy rich they're going to become, before hearing the scream of a girl down an alley "You know, with all respect to my father, he and the Shinsengumi really suck at keeping this city clean from criminals" said Shinoyama "It's the Kabuki-Cho, what would you expect?" said Togeshiro as they both ran in the direction of the scream.

There, a bunch of armored and armed thugs from earth and other planets were cornering a girl with short blue hair, yellow eyes, a pair of white cat ears and a white tail "Someone help me!" yelled the girl as she was pushed to the ground by one of them "No one's gonna help you, little girl, we've got you surrounded now. Now how about we have some fun with you, An?" said one big thug with a mallet and a Mohawk as he approached her. He was about to drop it down on her, but it stopped mid-way.

"Huh?" as the cat girl looked up, she saw the back of a man in a school uniform holding the mallet with his right arm. "Who the hell are you?" asked the man as the mallet lifted up a little bit and revealed a redheaded guy making a troll face and pissing him off "Why, you little..!" as he lifted the huge mallet and swung it on his direction, Togeshiro pulled out some sort of device from his belt and as he pressed a button, a large and transparent red blade emerged from it. In a quick couple of swings, he sliced his mallet into bits and cut his Mohawk short "He owns a plasma weapon..!" pointed one of the thugs. As a crazy looking thug with a katana attacked him from up top, Togeshiro blocked the attack with his right arm, which got scratched and revealed a bunch of cables and pistons "Cybernetics…?" Togeshiro smiled as he kicked the guy into a wall. The rest of the thugs were smacked down by Shinoyama.

"Die!" yelled the thug as he was about to strike him with a hidden blade, but Togeshiro avoided the attack and got the plasma blade close to his neck, close enough to burn the thin hairs on it "You know, the meals in my school aren't that filling, so I was thinking about eating Yakiniku. What do you think?" whispered Togeshiro in his ear. As he lowered his plasma weapon, the thug and his group who regained their consciousness ran out of the scene. "Are you okay?" asked Shinoyama as Togeshiro helped her up "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" she said while hugging them both "Um, sure, no problem" said Shinoyama "Those guys were about to kill me and take my money, I'm so thankful to you for saving my life, how can I ever repay you?"

"Well, for starters, a couple thousand yen would-" began to say Togeshiro before getting smacked in the head by Shinoyama "You don't need to, really. We were happy to help, but it would do us nicely if you spread the word about our business, we're the New Yorozuya!"

"Woah… Like the famous Yorozuya Gin-san? So cool! Sure, I would love to help" she said as she reached and kissed Shinoyama in the cheek. "See ya!" she said as she ran away. Sinoyama was blushing like crazy and his eyes were bloodshot as he stood there in silence "Are you okay, man?" asked Togeshiro slapping him in the face so hard it got swollen "Tweah… I dot kissed swy a cuthe girl…" he said, touching his swollen red cheek "Hm, good for you. Well, I say we deserve a couple of Edo-colas for that heroic act" said Togeshiro as he reached into his pockets "didn't you just Chugged down two bottles of that stuff? Do you wanna get a heart attack?"

"… Huh?"

"What happened?" asked Shinoyama "My wallet! It's gone! I could've sworn it was in my-" Togeshiro's eyes blacked out as he remembered the girl hugging him and realized she took their wallets while doing so "That bitch! I bet you that's why the thugs attacked her- she was a freaking thief. Oh, I'm gonna…!" said Togeshiro while taking out his sword and going in her direction before being stopped by Shinoyama "No wait! It's true that she stole our wallets but we only had 300 yen in it anyway. You saw her appearance, she probably did this because she was poor. Let's just ignore her"

"Dude, she took your diamond earring"

Shinoyama's soft expression vanished as his eyes blackened out and a vein popped in his head in the realization of his missing earring.

The cat girl was running down the alley with a hand close to her mouth and laughing "Oh, those guys were so pathetic! I can only imagine the look on their faces when they realize they were scammed! Not only did I sucked those idiots dry, I also got those two righteous morons as well! But they looked familiar somehow…" her train of thought was interrupted as a loud sound was heard behind her. Turning her head back, she saw both Togeshiro and Shinoyama chasing her down the narrow alley and looking like No Face while mowing down anything that stood in their way

"You bitch! I'm gonna rip your head off!"

"I'll eat you alive!"

"Huh. They aren't as dumb as I thought. Took them way faster than I thought to realize their situation. Oh well, it's not like they can catch me!" she said while jumping up and using her extensive, razor sharp nails to slice some fans and poles while climbing on the wall and up onto the roof. Looking normal again, Togeshiro and Shinoyama began to slice and hit the falling metal aside. By the time they were done, the cat girl was already jumping from rooftop to rooftop. "She got away!" said Togeshiro "Not exactly" said Shinoyama while he spotted her lunch card and bent down to pick it "I had a feeling I knew her from somewhere" he said as Togeshiro looked into it. It said 'Akimoto Sonya, Class 3-E, Ginken Academy' Togeshiro and Shinoyama smiled with deviousness at each other.

Togeshiro went back to his house which was a huge temple house in the outskirts of Edo. It was a very late hour. Failing to sneak into the house, the lights went up, revealing a woman with long orange hair and dark purple eyes, wearing a flower-patterned kimono standing in front of him "Mom…! What are you doing at this late hour?" he asked with a pale face. Togeshiro's mom stared at the open wound in his cybernetic arm and smiled "Togeshiro, you weren't out doing dangerous odd jobs again, right?"

"O-Of course not! I promised you, didn't I? This is just from an alien dog!" he said while pointing at his wound and laughing nervously. Suddenly, shots were fired all around Togeshiro, making a perfect frame of him made out of bullet holes "I'm so glad~! I was worried you were out there doing stupid and risky stuff, but it is so good to hear you were taking care of yourself. Now, it's very late, so why don't you go to your room, do your homework and go to sleep?" she said with a creepy smile as she shoved her MPK5 SMG back into the sleeve of her flowery kimono. "Y-yes, Mom…" he slid past her and went into his room, slamming the door behind him.

The next day, on Ginken Academy:

"See ya, Sonya!"

"See ya next period!

A couple of girls waved goodbye to Sonya as they went downstairs "Bye~… Idiots" she said with a devious grin as she held their wallets in her hands. However, her joy was short lived as someone patted her shoulders "Sonya, huh…? What a nice name you have…" said Togeshiro, who was dressed as L "Those are some pretty cat ears and tail as well, half-Feliryan, I take it? I heard you guys were awful swimmers, want me to give you a lesson or two?" said a creepy Shinoyama dressed as Light as he tapped her other shoulder.

"…."

On the rooftop, Sonya was on her knees, apologizing "I'm sorry! I really am! It's just that… My mother is a very sickly person. I steal money because I need to pay for her medicine. You understand, right?" she said with tearful eyes before getting kicked on the head by Shinoyama, who was now wearing a long white wig with an eye-patch "Like hell we'll buy that, you bitch! Oi, Nicolas… What's the sentence for killing a high-school girl..?" he asked Togeshiro, who was wearing a black wig with a dog tag around his neck and speaking in sign language "'probably enough to cover it up with a couple of gold coins', you say? That's fine by me" he said while smirking at her "Wait, aren't you the good guys here? And weren't you a different pair of characters a second ago!?" she asked, panicking. Shinoyama then took off his costume and took on a serious look "Listen, you're going to return the stuff you stole and never do this again, you heard me?"

"What makes you think I will?" she asked with an eyebrow raised "Well, for starters, my friend here will slice and dice you like ham" he said, pointing towards the modern-Guts looking guy next to him "And also, I have recorded your latest 'achievements' on the security cameras I so kindly installed in this school, so unless you wanna get thrown into jail, you better obey. Also, those guys you scammed out of their money? They turned out to be pretty nice guys; we laughed and drank and spoke about the nice sum of money they're willing to pay for bringing you to them- dead or alive" Sonya growled, but calmed down

"…Fine"

"Good, now let's find that treasure and get rich!" said Shinoyama to Togeshiro, who smacked him in the head for saying that out loud "What treasure?" asked Sonya with a devious look on her face "Nothing you should know about" said Togeshiro "Oh, is this a secret between the two of you? No one else can know about this TREA-" Togeshiro shut her mouth, but she scratched his hand "Fine. What do you want?" asked Shinoyama "I want a part of the treasure"

"Like hell we'll give you the treasure!" said Togeshiro "If you don't, then for starters, I'll tell everyone about the secret treasure you're after. And of course there's the cameras surveying the students and teachers you 'kindly' and ilegally installed in our school"

"..."

"Ugh, fine. We'll let you in" said Togeshiro, giving up. "Yay! You won't regret this!" exclaimed Sonya "Somehow, I know we will".

For those who don't know:

In Japan, people say the last name first and the first name second, for example; In Japan, you would refer to Sonya as Akimoto Sonya, but almost everywhere else it's Sonya Akimoto- Sonya being her private name and Akimoto being her family name.

*Togeshiro (棘白)- Toge(thorn-棘) + Shiro(white-白): White thorn.

*Shinoyama(死の山)- Shi(death-死) + No(of-の) + Yama(mountain-山): Mountain of death.

*Ryo(燎)- To burn, to iluminate. May also mean Excellent, to excel, to exceed.

So what did you think about it? I will upload episodes monthly or weekly, depending on my schedule, so there's that. If you have anything to ask that would lead to spoilers, you're free to PM me and ask.

Also, if you have any questions to the characters, just comment them down below and we'll answer them in the upcoming segment of 'Teach us, M**ko-Sensei!"