A/N: So this is almost a bit un-Sam like, but I just figured, we are all emotional. This is her emotions talking, not her. This is a story I made through watching the show. Needless to say I don't own it. This is about how even people who believe life was a trap to shake them away, can find the hardest situation, put the best foot foward, and gain what they truley wish for. In this case, Seddie. PLease enjoy. Will bring a smile to any shipper.
I was twelve when he told me he loved her. We sat outside after school watching the stars come alive under the swing sets- my idea to sneak in the playground- when he brought it up. He said it with so much passion and so much emotion that my world came to a hault. He described to the micro detail of her face. Her beautiful eyes, that twinkled when in praise, her perfect pink lips, and that perfect nose that he loved so much. Her silky brown hair that sparkled to perfection when the Sun shone its rays upon it, how it swooped perfectly around her neck, highlighting her face in every way and that intensified her mocha colored eyes. He told her how perfectly wonderful the name Carly Benson sounded. Perfect. In a few words Freddie had made her feel unimportant, unloved. She layed every tear slowly falling at each 'Perfect'. A giant soft tear fell when he finished and he looked at me for my input. But I couldn't look at him. My heart felt empty. Forever he had been my escape. From a mother who only cleaned for the millions of men that made their way through their red door to the bed room. Ranging from Hispanic to German. Seventeen to Eighty-Three. From a dad who had left because I was a trouble maker and because he had plans with a women named Mary. For a sister who was close to perfect and yet silently blamed me for the reason her dad left tus. For years Freddie had been there, and now, in few words he had promised me he'd leave. So I did the only thing I thought I could do, and got up and ran away. Leaving a confused Benson away, as I sobbed my way home walking on the busy highway.
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So now you understand. After what he did to me, I sat across from the camera, staring. No one knew the truth, but him. Once a heart shatters it can't be replaced. I watched them smile at flirt through out the show and remembered the present, the gift. Somewhere I was glad to see they were dating. To see the one you love happy and in love, just not with the right girl. Oh no, with my best friend. Deep, Deep, Deep down I was glad. I just didn't want to look that far.
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Maybe you're a bit confused. About how I do what I do to him if I think I may be in love. How could I punch him and mumble, "I love you." Or have my first, best, and only kiss from him and after that reply, "I hate you," with a small smile. The thing is, he gets me. Some how I feel alone and abandoned, like an old shack, but when I truely look in those brown eyes I can tell he's sorry and secretly blames himself. That is, when her tounge isn't jammed down his mouth. I thought my love life was over, that nothing could complete it. I was wrong. I new he completed me. I just had to find out if he would ever feel it, too.