AN: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Me: Definitely not, but that is obvious... ;) But I am new to fanfiction, so I'm not quite sure I'm doing it right!

In this story, Edward will have quite an obsessive preoccupation with Bella, who is currently dating his younger brother Jasper. Will he ever get her or will he have to resort to drastic measures? Obsessed love. AH. M in later chapters, for lemons and some curse words. Horror for his unpredictable violent jealousy. Hope you will enjoy. Please let me know :-)

Never Let You Go

Chapter One

EPOV:

There's some truth in that age-old saying: You always want what you cannot have.

Similarly as: The forbidden fruit is tempting of all.

I didn't believe it at first. I, at first assumed it was mere poetic bullshit that old philosophers spewed out in their missions to find the truths of life.

Only until I met and saw her, did I realize just how correct those expressions could be.

She was the Forbidden Fruit in the most evilest of ways. She was my younger brother's girlfriend. I could never have her but that blatant knowledge couldn't- and wouldn't, for that matter- stop me from fantasizing about her. About what her mouth could do to me... About the day she would wake up in the morning and suddenly, like a flash of heavenly awareness, it would come to her out of the blue... that we were destined to be together.

Me and her. Not Jasper and Bella.

Edward and Bella. Her and I. Forever.

Sometimes, I really envy him, my brother. Not the looks, the high paying job or the confidence that flows out of him with ease every single hour of the day. But... the girl.

Always the girl.

I try to consider him in Her eyes. Why the appeal? What's he got that I don't?

I'm fairly positive I'm better-looking than him. At least, I get a lot of older women telling me I am, how I'm the greatest looking one out of the lot in my family, second to my mother, and how lucky I was to be blessed with the good looks that surely came from my mother's genetic pool. That ought to count for something.

He is blond, not natural but peroxide. Chemically dyed, those cheap permanent ones you buy in a convenience store that come out of a carton alongside a set of latex gloves and a fold-out paper brochure of instructions. Mine has been left in it's normal state for years, cut the same style. Light auburn brown, always neat and combed, aside from those days when I can't be bothered. I've got the green eyes that I've inherited from my mother, him the dark brown from our father.

Also, I'm a lot taller than he is by a foot.

According to women's magazines, women always like their men taller than them by a mile off. Apparently it adds to the attraction. Clearly it hasn't worked for her otherwise she would have been falling at my feet right about now, literally.

But, maybe she doesn't go for that? Maybe it's not looks that have her hooked and sealed but... what's underneath?

If that truly is the case for her, then I can certainly see why she chose Jasper, rather than me as her boyfriend. He has a lot more to offer her than I do. He is confident and bold in life, set on his decisions, while I can be incredibly shy at times. I like to keep most things to myself, especially in regards to my feelings.

Already at twenty-one, he works in advertising. I work a modest paying job in the small local library in town cataloguing the shelves. Hardly life changing stuff but I relished every moment of it. It was the right type of job for me; I liked to read, I liked to educate myself on nearly anything and everything.

Plus, there was never a shortage of female's attention within a one meter radius.

One time, she came in and I felt so sick with nerves that day that I almost tripped and fell off the stool I was stepping on to reach the higher shelves in the Western literature section.

I could remember that day like it was yesterday.

I was collecting the returns from the cart and slotting them back into their assigned places on the shelves. I was completely mindboggled the second I saw her. I can even remember how she looked that day, because I think about that day often.

God, she looked so beautiful standing there.

She hadn't even noticed me, because she was simply too busy. Or maybe I wasn't the person she wanted to see, or have to even acknowledge. She didn't wear bold makeup often, but she had that day. Her lips were dark with bright red lipstick, which I thought made her look pretty fucking radiant if you do ask me, combined with that spotless complexion of hers.

Her dark hair was piled up into a messy chignon, which got me then thinking about her propositioning me with oral in the library storeroom like an alluring, control-taking librarian woman. She was wearing tight dark denim jeans which, if you really bothered to look, would have made that backside of hers even perkier, and a pastel colored shirt with a frilly neckline.

Modest was her middle name. Never once, did she wear dresses or shirts that showed off her cleavage, like the other women around me did. She always dressed real classy... I think that made me want her even more. She never seemed the type of girl who went out of her way to get a man's attention but she had mine indefinitely.

The moment she turned her head and looked at me briefly, was the moment that had my heart stopping. I almost was knocked to the ground off the stool, because my feet weakened in the pair of sneakers I was wearing.

It was so unexpected. I was completely at loss of what to do. Really, I wanted to smile at her, wave maybe, since she knew I was her boyfriend's older brother- of course, she did! I couldn't do anything, couldn't even meet her dark eyes, because my eyes kept jerking off to the side rhythmically with the nerves.

She pretended after that, that she never even stepped foot into the library one afternoon, and saw me there at work. She didn't even tell Jasper. Maybe it wasn't something important she felt necessary to mention, but it was an important day for me. It was like it had been magically zapped from her memory. But I hadn't forgotten. Oh, I would never forget, I swore to myself.

It was the first time she had even so much as expressed a curious look in my direction, without Jasper being in the way.

While no one else knew that I had a massive thing for my younger brother's girl, it weighed heavily on my conscience. It was wrong of me, but I couldn't seem to rid myself of the profound feelings I had of wanting her. Since I knew there was no way in hell I could ever have her, I started messing around with a few women. I started dodging one quick fling to move onto the next.

It was painful to have sex with other women, almost to the point where I constantly started getting frustrated inbetween and couldn't keep it up any longer. Because whenever I started to do my thing with them, her vision would instantly flit into my head like a thunderbolt. And then, subsequently, I would start comparing the woman to her as if they could ever meet her untouchable standards.

Through various breast sizes, leg inches, thigh widths... its always the same. In my mind, always.

Bella. Bella. Bella.

It rolls off the tongue in careless simplicity. It burns in the back of my skull, like a branding, both the name and the image that comes along with it.

I need you. Another night with another woman, another new bed shared... but I'm always right back where I started... wanting it to be you the most.

It wasn't fair to the women, nor was it to myself.

With every sexual conquest, I was naively assuming they would somehow be able to fill this void deep inside of me. And, now I know... the only person that can do that, is her. How preposterous to even think I had a chance to be with her, my brother's girlfriend? If there's one thing I can tell you, the man doted on her in the same vein that I did, even though she wasn't even mine to have.

At least I could dream, though. Dream about her and me. The things I would do to her. The way I would touch her. The way I would kiss her, speak to her. The way I would love her if she were mine alone to love.

But sometimes, annoyingly I had no control over where my mind wanted to take me with those dreams. Sometimes they would come on even in the most inappropriate of times and I would simply just...zone out. Sometimes... afterwards, I would catch myself staring at her. That illicited a few weird stares from both her and Jasper. I just couldn't seem to help it.

The last straw came, when she had come over for the evening a few weeks ago. To see Jasper, of course.

We were both battling it out on the Playstation, yelling at each other and knocking shoulders, while we stabbed the console keys with our fingers. She slipped in and for the briefest instance, she had walked in front of the television to get over to Jasper's side of the couch, apologizing for interrupting our vision to her heart's content.

I had completely zoned out on the game after that, of our stupid competition to see who could get the highest number of zombie kills in the game, because the moment she filled my vision... everything, all my concentration and determination in winning against Jasper for once in my entire life, anything, was gone. I was spacing out and found myself glued to the pair as she sat on his lap and started giving him small kisses on the mouth.

As he groaned and started kissing her back, paying attention to her cheeks, her eyes found mine halfway through. While he was distracted, she had given me a funny look, her dark eyes going all heavy-lidded with desire and her lips parted, while she breathed and whimpered across the room heavily. One that I could only describe as her saying, through telepathy, What the hell are you staring at, you freak? Are you getting aroused by watching me make-out with your brother? You sick bastard!

After that, I paused the game, slid off the couch and went into my room with a sigh. I think I avoided being in the same room as them altogether, because I knew it wasn't right. It wasn't natural to get turned on by a girl who also so-happens to be in a committed relationship with your younger brother.

Couldn't help it, though.

Only going to great lengths to avoid the pair, or more appropriately her, didn't help at all. It only intensified the daydreams I had of her.

Sometimes, when I knew she would be coming over to visit, I would shut myself off into my room early in advance... just in case. I would imagine her coming up and knocking on my door, then after I let her in, things would go further. Clothes would be torn off and she would be naked, and I would be running my hands all over her creamy skin, her arms, her thighs, her breasts... And then, my mouth would soon replace the hands. And then... I would jolt out of it and realize I was just standing there alone near the window in my bedroom, hand down my pants and a thin film of stringy saliva falling out of my mouth, jerking off with thoughts about her.

So, yeah. Perhaps I was more than just a little consumed with her.

I wanted her as my own and I was feeling that desperate, to even dare try to steal her from Jasper, even if it meant there was hurt and broken trust involved between us two brothers.

I was still waiting on that moment to make my dreams a reality. And, mark my words, it would come soon. It has been a long time waiting, and I couldn't take any more of it.

She comes in after eight o'clock at night to see him.

I'm sitting strategically in the kitchen so that I hear and catch a glimpse of her the first moment she comes through the front door, before he does. I want the most to see her before he does. She's put in extra effort in her appearance tonight. There is something... different about her eyes, more striking, when they're covered in eyemakeup and eyeliner around the rims. A light pink blush colors her cheekbones. Probably for him, but who cares? I could still appreciate it like she had done it for myself.

She gives me an apprehensive smile, as she plops her leather handbag onto the kitchen counter across from where I'm sitting at the round pine table in the middle of the room. I know she's only doing it to be polite, to keep things on a platonic level between us. I don't care, I'll take it.

She asks where Jasper is quietly, like she actually cares about all that. I tell her he's in his room still.

My heart swells with warmth for her, when she starts plucking and biting at her fingernails nervously, while her back is turned from me. I think it's the affect I have on her. She always seems to be incredibly nervous and ill at ease around me. I think the meek demeanour alone that she wears for me looks beautiful on her.

Her long brunette hair is coiled up into a messy bun on the top of her scalp. My hands and fingers are itching to play with the loose curls of short hair resting on the nape of her neck. Biting the side of my mouth, I think, To hell with being appropriate. Now's my time.

As carefully as I possibly can, I rise from the chair I'm perched in as not to startle her. If I close the several inches between us, my desire to touch her might be easily accomplished. One step towards her, her back stiffens. I can see it in the way her shoulders pop up erect against her dark blue blouse. The blouse looks silky and soft, and like with everything else of her, I want to feel it between my fingers.

I think she feels me breathing against the side of her neck raggedly with the uncontained nerves I'm feeling as well, as I close the distance between us once and for all, but she doesn't show it. She does not move; her shoulders simply hunch around her, like she's anticipating the moment I touch her, too. God, I hope she is anticipating it, because I surely am.

A little shakily, I raise one of my hands and let all the rough mounds of my knuckles curl up the nape of her neck, savoring the feel and texture the soft little hairs there make against her heated skin. I hear her give out a thick swallow, and catch the sides of her elongated throat knotting together in apprehension.

The sound alone, sends me into overdrive. I want to push her up against the counter gently, tear off her tight jeans, unzip mine, bend her pert soft backside out on a lean, and have my way with her. Feel warm skin slapping against bare warm skin rythmically. Feel her whimpering and calling out my name in her soft meek little voice. In pure need. Desperation.

But the moment inbetween where I'm touching the back of her neck, while she shivers underneath my curious touch, curling a strand of baby hair between my fingers doesn't last long, because I hear the trudging of hurried footsteps coming down along the staircase in the hallway, interrupting us forever like a bad stain that won't disappear or ever fade away.

Jasper. Damn him to hell. If only I could have just one more minute alone with her...

She hears him approaching the instance I do. She jolts and as she straightens her spine up in alarm, it puts infuriating distance between my hand and the back of her neck, now that I'm grasping at thin air, and the small startled gasp that falls from her mouth sings to me.

You're mine, little darling, I think to myself, unable to stop the smirk that I feel pressing up my lips. The way you reacted to my touch just then tells me so. But it's okay, I want this too. I've wanted you the moment he introduced you to me. And, I'll never let you go.

God, I'll never let her go...

What do you think of the first chapter? Like, or hate? Please review and let me know. Reviews = encouragement, so please send me some. There will be more sexual angst between the pair as further chapters come. Thanks for reading!