A/N: random. sad. and I never want it to happen in the show. rated for language. uhm, so yeah, you should review, even if you hate it.
"You make me wanna die; I'll never be good enough"
She was supposed to move on. But she couldn't.
She was supposed to be happy. But she wasn't.
How was she to sit at this fucking party, pretending like nothing was wrong?
Looking across the room she saw many couples, giggling and kissing. Chuck and Blair holding each other close as Chuck talked to his coworkers. Dan and Vanessa looking into each others eyes lovingly.
She feared she would never have that. She would never be happy, because the only one she wanted didn't want her.
The room went eerily quite. People stared at the two forms walking through the door. The two teenagers she never wanted to see together. The two teenagers that may have ruined her life all together. She would rather die than pretend like seeing them together didn't hurt.
Because it did hurt. It fucking killed her inside.
She with admit, she was beautiful and also her step sister, but no longer where they close. She couldn't even look at her without feeling a sense of betrayal. It had been a twisted love triangle, with her getting the losing end of the stick.
Don't ask how it happened. How could she really let the love of her life go? Simply walk off with someone else? Hell if she knew.
They where smiling as the greeted their friends. Fucking smiling.
How could they be happy, when she was so broken inside?
That's when their eyes meet. She searched his soul through his eyes. She didn't even see a twinge of regret or even longing to be with her.
It was like looking at a complete stranger. As if they had never meet or spoken a single word to one another.
He turned away than, back to her, pulling their bodies closer. He kissed her on the lips.
Bastard.
What did she do to deserve this? Why was he rubbing this in her face?
The least he could do was pretend like he cared. Pretend like this was a hard decision for him.
Except he was selfish. Didn't care who he hurt as long as he was happy.
But she was the one who loved him.
No matter how selfish or soulless he was. She loved him more than anyone or anything.
She wanted to forget him. Forget that he ever walked this earth. Forget the kisses they shared. The meaningful conversations to be erased from her memory. But he was imprinted into her heart and mind. Forever there and she had no say what-so-ever.
Tears stung at the corner of her eyes. But he would never see her cry. Never again.
She got her things and ran. Ran as far as she could. Never would she take a step into Manhattan again. Too many memories lived there. Some good that she would hold in her heart forever and cherish.
But some, as much as she would like to forget, will never be forgotten.
"Every time I look inside your eyes, you make me wanna die"