If I die young
By ZeldaNut1
Send me away with the words of a love song
Why is the sun shining? It should be dark, raining. Why the hell should everything be so happy when I'm so sad? I shifted the urn in my hands and kept walking. Currently we were walking on one of the little hiking trails back behind our Florida house. After the Aickman house we had moved to Florida, buying this cute ranch that had like, 8 bedrooms, 2 different living rooms and like 5 bathrooms. It was huge. We bought the 200 acres that were behind it. It had even come with hiking trails. The one we were walking on right now led to a craggy cliff that plowed right into the ocean. I thought it would be a good place to release him. I looked down at the urn. I had painted it myself the day before. A sky blue, just like his eyes. I had also painted his signature birds on it. The reverend said we could have kept him in the handkerchief that he had been originally in, that the reverend had put his ashes into that night at the house. I had immediately said no, that he deserved a proper urn even if he wouldn't be in it that long. You see, ever since the events of the house my parents had been trying to shower me with gifts.
"What about an Xbox? You had always wanted an Xbox!" my dad had asked.
That had been before the house dad. Stupid stuff like an Xbox didn't matter anymore. When I had told them what I wanted, everyone had said no. so I told them all to fuck off and had called the reverend. And that's how we got here in the first place.
"we are here, Matt."
I came to stand next to the reverend near the edge of the cliff. This place was perfect. The water seemed to melt into the sky; they were the same perfect blue. The same blue of the urn, of his eyes. The sea churned below us, swirling and graceful. I could feel him. I looked at the reverend, and he nodded. He could too. I opened the urn, poured half of him in the reverends hands, left half for me. The ashes were fine as sand, not gritty like I was expecting. I was thankful for that. With a look from the reverend we released the ashes at the same time, the wind picking them up and swirling in the air, carrying Jonah away. The reverend nudged me, handed me the small piece of Jonah's skull, still carefully wrapped in the handkerchief. I took it out, feeling the smooth bone on my fingers. Our plan had been to just drop it into the water, to let the water carry it away like the wind and the ashes. But I couldn't. I felt my chest tighten up, my breath coming in short gasps. I couldn't do it.
"Matt, do you want me to do it?" asked the reverend.
"No!" I screamed, "You won't take him from me! I won't let you! I don't want to let him go!" I was sobbing now, the tears coming down my face in torrents. Damn! I promised myself I wouldn't cry!
And then I felt him.
He had his arms around me, one hand smoothing my hair, the other stroking my cheek.
"Shhhh, Matt, shhhh, no don't cry Matthew I'm here, shhhh!"
"I don't want you to go!" I wailed.
"Shhh Matt! I've been here far too long already. I don't want to leave you either, but, but…."
I looked up at him. He had tears running down his face, the piercing blue eyes I had come to know so well shining. I knew I had to set him free.
"I love you Matthew. I'm sorry. For everything." He whispered, his chin dropping.
"I love you too," I said, "Thanks. For everything."
I brought his face up to mine.
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I pressed my lips to his
I've never known love…..
And I let him go.
The sharp knife of a short life, well, I've had just enough time.
Love hurts.