"Best Pick-Up Line Ever"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or it's characters. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the EAH books, Shannon Hale. Anyway, here's a little Dexter/Raven drabble with a little bit of Sparrow dashed into it. This fic may be a little unexpected than you think, so enjoy!
Raven Queen was busy putting objects inside her locker when a very nervous Dexter Charming saw her from far away. And with him was one of his friends, Sparrow Hood. Apparently, Sparrow was pressuring Dex to go talk to her, but strangely Dexter had second thoughts about this.
"Dude, there's no way I'm going through with this." Dexter gulped.
"You have to man, I know you're urging to talk with her." Sparrow replied. "Just tell her what I told you. It'll be easy."
"Uh, hello?!" Dexter shouted to him. "It will be a nightmare! There's no way I'm saying those kinds of words to her. I'm gonna get the crap beaten out of me!"
"Trust me, it usually works!" Sparrow smirked. "I can't tell you how much dates I've gotten with that pickup line. So far, I've got dinner with Duchess Swan, Poppy O'Hair and Blondie Lockes. If I can nab all of those girls with my awesome pickup line, you can too with Raven. I'll even give you $20 bucks so you can say what I told you to her."
Knowing that there was no way around this, Dexter decided to accept the offer by taking the $20 bill.
"Fine," Dexter sighed, "But if I get my ass kicked because of what I said to her, I'm blaming this on you."
"Fine, whatever!" Sparrow nodded. "Just go!"
Suddenly, Sparrow shoved Dexter in front of Raven, who he was standing beside her as she closed her locker. She managed to give him a look of delight, which made Dexter smile.
"Hey Dexter, what's up?" Raven smiled.
"Uh, n-n-nothing, that's what's up!" Dexter stuttered nervously.
"C'mon, don't blow this dude." Sparrow whispered at him behind a huge tree bark.
"So, how about that fight between FairyWeather and Spellquiao, huh?" Raven smirked. "Pretty intense fight, huh?"
"Oh yeah, it was intense, all right." Dexter chuckled nervously again. "So um, Raven... if it's not any trouble with you, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go right ahead." Raven nodded before thinking out loud, "Is he thinking of asking me out...?"
Dexter decided to take a huge deep breath, before having to say out that pickup line Sparrow Hood taught him to say. With patience and determination, Dexter finally let it all out.
"Raven, if it's all right with you...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...can I mack on your booty tonight?"
Suddenly, Raven was shocked and looked offended. Dexter on the other hand, was scared out of his mind. However, far away from Dexter, Sparrow tried to hold his laughter in without peeing himself. Sparrow couldn't believe that Dexter spoke those words to Raven. It sounded too sexual for Raven to hear, but it sounded too hilarious for Sparrow to contain.
"Did you just say...?" Raven said, rising up with anger.
"Yeah, I did." Dexter gulped.
"Hahaha, what a sucker!" Sparrow thought with a sly smirk as he was about to see his friend get his ass handed by his crush.
Dexter wasn't gonna see this coming from Raven. All of his dreams of ever being with the one that he liked was dashed now. Raven didn't liked to be hit on by some creep with foul words like that. So she decided to teach Dexter a lesson he wouldn't see coming by grabbing him by his collar. From there, a sudden force of dark energy appeared alongside Raven.
Knowing there was no way to escape, Dexter closed his eyes, hoping for the worst.
But suddenly, nothing happened. There was no hit by Raven whatsoever. Instead...
...
...
...
...Raven had kissed him!
Dexter looked surprised to see Raven's lips touch his! Those magical, blueberry-scented lips surging with his. It was perhaps the best kiss of his life! Screw that, it was perhaps the best kiss out of all eternity. Well, in Dexter's case that is. Dexter often thought that Raven would tear him apart for saying something like 'Can I Mack On Your Booty'. But it seems like it wasn't the case this time.
As Raven broke away from that kiss, she gave Dexter a very sexy look on her face.
"Um, Raven?" Dexter raised his eyebrow, "What was that-"
"Dexter..." Raven said, taking a deep breath. "Forget tonight. You, me, janitor's closet, now."
"Oh yeah, I knew that..." Dexter smirked lightly.
From right there, Raven and Dexter decided to go somewhere quiet and dark so they could 'mack' with each other. Hard to believe that Sparrow's pickup line actually worked! And what's even harder to believe was that Dexter managed to live again.
"Ahhhh, I just love happy endings." Sparrow sighed with a smirk.
Yeah, but it's definitely not the 'happy ending' you've thought in mind, Dexven fans. Yeah, this seemed a little out of nowhere and seemed a bit OOC, but hey, I thought it would be hilarious to get everyone's reaction. So I hope this makes you happy, Dexter/Raven fans!
Anyway, feedbacks are appreciated! Oh, and make sure you check out my awesome Huntlynn, Dapple, and Splondie stories as well! Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever, signing off!