Disclaimer: I do not own WOEICS or any of its characters. I do own Deric Storm, Jayson Steadman, Agent Lascari and Joe Lopresti. Nace Bilby is on loan from SoulReaver (You my boy, Blue!).
Chapter 1: Just Another Day at the Office
The Chief was going over some paperwork in his database when he was buzzed over his intercom by his secretary. "Yes, Lucy." Chief responded.
"Sorry to bother you, sir, but there is a gentleman from the FBI to see you."
"Send him in." The doors opened to reveal a middle-aged man with light brown hair in a dark blue business suit. Addressing the visitor, Chief said, "Welcome to ACME Agent…"
"Special Agent Tom Lascari, Organized Crime Division." The FBI agent flashed his identification.
"What can I do for you Agent Lascari?" Chief asked, "ACME is always willing to help out the federal government."
"I'm here to request the help of two of your detectives." Agent Lascari placed a manila folder on a desk for the Chief to scan through. "You've probably heard of our investigation into the Satori crime family." Chief nodded, the Satoris were considered one of the top five crime families remaining in the US. "We have a witness who can implicate the Satoris and we need help transporting him from San Francisco to DC. The FBI is going to transport a decoy under armed escort…"
"If I may ask…" The Chief interjected, glasses at the end of his digital nose from reading the file, "why the use of the decoy?"
"I have proof to believe that the Satoris may have a mole in my unit," Lascari answered, "That's why I came here. Your record with the government has been nothing less than stellar."
"Well, Agent Lascari," Chief started, bringing up the personnel files of just about every detective at ACME, "In my opinion, the best detectives we have are…" Ivy and Zack's pictures appeared on screen.
"The Darren siblings…" Lascari noted, "Nope, too high profile. I want the agents transporting the witness to be somewhat low-profile."
"Well," Chief began, "we have a few other detectives who I think would be nearly as good…"
"Actually Chief," Agent Lascari spoke up, "I would like to know who you consider your two craziest detectives?"
- - - - - - -
Monte Carlo
"'Freeze' means 'stop or I will shoot your ass!'" Deric Storm yelled as he and partner Nace Bilby were in foot pursuit of a suspect who had attempted to steal a replica of the Guttenberg Bible. Actually, it was more like Deric was in foot pursuit. Nace had told him that his left knee was his "trick knee." 'It sure picked a helluva time to go abracadabra,' Deric thought as he pursued the suspect. It was a merry chase, going through alleys and onto President J.F. Kennedy Avenue. The suspect shoved a young man to the ground and stole his motorcycle.
'Oh crap,' Deric thought as he reached for his sidearm, a modified 9mm semiautomatic, 'there is no way in hell he's just leaving like that.' Coming to a stop next to the assault civilian, Deric fired three rounds at the rear tire of the motorcycle. Unbelievably, one of the shots ruptured the front tire, causing the suspect to careen into an oncoming car, leading to a five car pile-up, and into the window of a restaurant. Deric closed his eyes and sighed in frustration as he ran towards the restaurant. "Great googly-moogly…" Deric swore as he saw the wreckage. Luckily, the suspect was only knocked out with some minor cuts and bruises. Snapping the cuffs on the suspect, Deric sat in a nearby seat. As he sat, his communicator went off. "Storm," Deric spoke into the device.
"Deric, it's Nace. What's your situation?" crackled the voice of Deric's partner.
"I'm in a restaurant on Kennedy, just look for the carnage." Deric responded before cutting off his communicator. Looking up, he saw a group of patrons and staff staring at him. Brushing some glass and debris off of a menu, Deric looked at a waiter and said "Could I have a glass of water, please?"
A few minutes later, Nace arrived at the wreck outside of the restaurant. The owners of the cars were arguing with the police, probably over who was going to pay for the damage to their automobiles. He spied Deric sitting at a table near what used to be the front window of an Italian restaurant, drinking a bottle of water. As Nace approached, Deric threw a water bottle at him for him to drink.
"I believe the phrase you Americans use is 'Nice Shootin, Tex.'" Nace joked before taking a sip. Looking around, he surmised the aftermath of another case that was probably going to raise ACME's insurance premiums. This made the last three. "Let me guess: you shot out the front tire of this motorbike and it went to hell from there." Deric tapped the tip of his nose with his index finger.
"Well," Deric stood up and placed some currency on the table before walking through the broken window, "at least you can't say we ever have a boring day."
- - - - - - -
"Actually, Agent Lascari," The Chief said, "I think we have the perfect two detectives for you."
"Um, Lucy," the Chief spoke into his intercom, "do you know the current status of Detectives Storm and Bilby?"
"They just finished up an assignment in Monte Carlo." The two could hear the secretary typing in the background. "There seems to have been a little bit of collateral damage, sir." The Chief groaned, 'That's three cases in the last month.' Chief thought, 'but I'll guarantee they got the suspect.' "I'll send them in as soon as they get back."
"Thank you, Lucy."
- - - - - - -
"Well," Ivy said as the two detectives emerged from the C-5 corridor, "If it isn't 'Hurricane' Storm and the Bilby Kid?" Deric flashed a cocky grinned at the flame-haired detective. Ever since he transferred to the main division of ACME, Deric had firmly lodged himself under Ivy's skin. "I heard you two left another mess near the crime scene."
"Well, good morning to you, too, Princess," Deric shot back with a smirk, "and how are we this fine morning?" Seeing Ivy's infuriated expression just made Deric smile wider. She stalked past him to punch in some coordinates before a new corridor opened. Deric and Nace then proceeded to their desks, which just happened to be across from Zack and Ivy's, and Zack happened to be sitting at his desk at the moment. Deric reached into his bag and pulled out a parcel which he tossed into Zack's empty lap.
"Here ya go, Z-man," Deric said as the package landed, surprising the younger detective, "An extra large was the only size I think they had which wouldn't have cutoff circulation or go to your knees." Zack opened the package revealing a T-shirt with the slogan 'What happens in Monte Carlo stays in Monte Carlo' and a man you see on a bathroom door on his back with a spilled drink near him.
"Sweet," Zack responded, "how much do I owe you?"
"Nada," Deric said, sitting down, "just, what's up with your sister or is that time?" Deric laughed at Zack's sudden paling and Nace's covering of his face in disbelief. Zack looked like he was going to say something when the phone rang at Nace's desk. "Bilby," Nace said, answering the phone, "Yes, Chief. Okay, we'll be right down." Nace hung up the phone with a weird look his face.
"What's up?" Deric asked.
"Chief wants to see us ASAP." Nace said, picking up his jacket, "Apparently, it has something to do with the FBI." The two walked down to the Chief's office, both wondering what the FBI would want with them. They got to the Chief's office to find the door closed, they had to be buzzed in. There was a man dressed in a dark blue business suit sitting across from the virtual form of the Chief.
"Ah, detectives," Chief welcomed them in, "have a seat." Deric and Nace took the two remaining seats in the room. "The reason I called you two down here is that the FBI has requested our assistance in a matter of great importance." The man in the suit stood up. "Deric, Nace, this is special agent Tom Lascari from the FBI's Organized Crime Unit."
Agent Lascari shook both Detectives' hands. "Gentlemen," he handed Deric the manila envelope which was on the Chief's desk, "for the past seven years, we've been trying to take down the country's top crime families. Recently, we struck paydirt." Deric opened the folder. "That man is Giuseppe 'Joey Numbers' Lopresti," Deric showed Nace the photo of the man in the file, "He is the bookkeeper for the Satori crime family. We recently apprehended him in Fisherman's Wharf a month ago and have been holding him in our San Francisco offices since then. In return for immunity, Mister Lopresti has agreed to turn state's evidence. He is scheduled to appear before a grand jury in Washington in four days."
"So," Nace interjected, "what does this have to do with you needing our help?"
"We need you to transport him from San Francisco to Washington."
"Why can't you guys do it?" Deric asked.
"That's why we need your help," Lascari said, "According to Mr. Lopresti, Satori has some of my men on his payroll. Besides me, you three are the only ones who know what Lopresti looks like. I have a caravan set up which will act as a decoy so you can make your way cross country. Lopresti is deathly afraid of flying, so that's why I need you to drive." Deric and Nace looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
"We're in." Nace said.
"When do we leave?" Deric asked.
"Seven-thirty tomorrow morning." Agent Lascari said, shaking both Detectives hands. "You have the thanks of the United States government." Agent Lascari picked up the folder and left. The Chief gave the two some further instructions before sending them on their way.
"So," Deric began, "what do you wanna do now?"
"Lunch sounds good." The two proceeded to make their way towards the ACME commissary.
- - - - - - -
Deric and Nace both got their trays and proceeded to get lunch. When they had gotten their food, they proceeded to find an empty table and began eating. It was Nace who broke the silence.
"Why do you think they chose us?"
Deric shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Don't know, don't care. It's a simple job, plus we'll get brownie points with Uncle Sam." Despite his confidence, Deric did share some of his partner's doubts. It was a little strange; why not let the Wonder Twins do it. Ivy and Zack were ACME's golden children, while he and Nace were probably more mavericks than anything. A sudden commotion brought Deric back to reality. A few tables down, some of the younger detectives were being harassed by a group dressed in military garb. "Hey Bilby," Deric pointed at the group with his plastic fork, "who's that?"
Nace looked over his shoulder and exhaled in anger. "CrimeNet." He spat. Deric had heard of CrimeNet when he worked in the Undercover Division. They were the paramilitary branch of ACME, they were sent into situations that required more of a forceful touch. He had also heard that they were also some of the biggest jerks you could ever meet. It seemed they all suffered from a massive superiority complex. "And that," Nace pointed over to who seemed to be the leader of the little group, "is Jayson Steadman." Nace pointed him out with a noticeable hint of anger in his voice. "He's Colonel Reinhardt's little brownnose." The CrimeNet agents took away the trays of the ACME trainees, who couldn't have been older than sixteen. Steadman took the apple off one of the trainee's trays and began to eat it. Deric could see tears starting to form in the trainee's eyes.
"Hey jerky…" Deric spoke up. The CrimeNet group turned to see who spoke up before locating Nace and Deric. "Why don't you boys pick on someone who'll fight back?" The group let the trays drop and headed over to where Nace and Deric were sitting. The tables around them began to quickly empty.
"Who the hell are you?" Steadman demanded, getting in the seated Deric's face.
"First off, dude, two words: Breath. Mint." Deric joked, waving his hand in front of his nose. "Secondly, the name's Storm, Deric Storm." Looking to Nace, he said, "I've always wanted to do that, Nace." Looking back to Steadman, Deric said, "That's 'who the hell' I am." To emphasize his point, Deric stood to his full six foot-four inch height.
Steadman looked back at Nace, he said, "Have we met before? You look familiar."
"Yeah, we 'met' at the rugby match between San Francisco and Johannesburg." Nace fixed Steadman with a death stare.
"Oh yes," Steadman was faking clarity, "How's the knee?" Steadman asked with all the sincerity of a snake.
"I'm gonna guess there a little history between you two." Deric said, confused. "So, what's the deal with the trainees?" Steadman took the apple of Deric's tray.
"They were sitting at our table." Steadman answered, tossing the apple up in the air and catching it, "They needed to pay the fee for sitting there. What's it to you?" Deric snatched the apple back.
"Easy, I'm not a big fan of bullies." Nace stood up to back up his partner if he needed it. A fight seemed all but started except for a sudden voice.
"Jayson," Ivy interjected, "what's going on here?" She scowled when she saw Deric standing there. "Jeez, Deric, can't you go one day without causing trouble?" Now it was Steadman with the cocky grin.
"Actually, love," Steadman emphasized the word 'love,' "there's no trouble here. I was just introducing myself to the two new detectives before we headed back to our duties." He held out his hand. "It was nice to meet you, Detective Storm." Jayson gave Deric a look that said 'This isn't over yet.'
Deric shook hands, "Nice to meet you too, Jayson." Then, the CrimeNet group left the cafeteria. Ivy proceeded to a table where some of her friends were. Once Ivy was out of earshot, Deric said to Nace, "What a prick."
"You don't know the half of it." Nace said picking up his tray. The two detectives headed towards the exit, passing the table where Steadman and his goons were harassing the two trainees. Nace and Deric gave the two their apples to make up for what the CrimeNet thugs had done to their lunches.