Could it be ?
« Castle, Can we talk ? »
He wants to say no. He really does. He doesn't want to be near her. The pain caused by her betrayal is still too fresh in his mind. He needs a distraction.
That's why he went to Vegas. That's why he convinced himself that doing things in old way would fill the void in his heart.
But who is he kidding? Of course, he wants to talk to her. He needs this long overdue conversation. He's just afraid of what the outcome might be.
He looks at her, sees the pleading in her eyes and says "Sure".
He's going for off-handed but can't quite keep the harshness out of his voice.
Kate flinches at his tone and suddenly realizes they may have to get somewhere a little more private than the bullpen or even the break-room.
"Let me just grab my coat", she says.
The elevator ride down to the lobby is quiet. Even as they leave the precinct and start walking, they haven't spoken a word yet.
The silence grows heavy and it's killing them.
Kate pounders the right moment to start talking. She senses she needs to make the first move. After all, she's the one who asked him to talk. Only she's terrified she might say the wrong thing and have him walk away for good this time.
Without realizing it, they've made their way to the park with the swings… their swings. Even though, she doesn't believe in fate, she can't help thinking this might be some kind of sign. Like they're meant to go back to that September afternoon. Back to when she had to face him after all these months of silence. Back to when she hoped he wouldn't be too angry with her that he wouldn't even let her speak and try to explain. Back to when she wished she wouldn't have had to be so closed off, so cryptic, so … her usual self. Back to when she relied on their ability to read through subtext.
Only now, she realizes she should have been more honest. She should have had more faith in him. She knows he would have understood she needed time to work through her issues. She knows he would have waited for her. But back then, that's what she was afraid of. Even her therapist called her out on it. The problem now is she's afraid she might have waited too long. Sure she had a lot to deal with but you can only ask somebody so much. Not without giving something … anything back.
Yet she thought they were making progress. They had lived through an agonizing hostage situation, an ex-girlfriend turned traitor, almost drowning while being trapped in her sinking car, the strangest brush with death confronting a tiger while being cuffed together and her resurfacing PTSD, after which she had made a conscious decision to move forward and be more than who she was.
They even made it through a bomb explosion which made her realize life was too short and think about all the things she didn't want to put off anymore.
They seemed to be ready to face their situation but they kept being interrupted, she thinks. They had agreed they would wait for the case to be over but by then, he was giving her the cold shoulder.
What could have happened? she wonders. Her mind went over the details of that day searching for some kind of clue.
She distinctively remembers an abandoned cup of coffee on her desk, a welcome respite after a draining interrogation, she thought at the time.
She was so sure Bobby was involved, so sure he was using his so-called amnesia as an excuse. So she pressed on, wanting him to confess and she got carried away…
The one time she let her secret slip.
And then her mind gets into overdrive… Could it be? she panicked.
Castle follows her out of the elevator and onto the sidewalk but remains silent.
As they start walking, he thinks she might be leading them to a nearby café to have a sit down conversation but when they pass their favorite coffee shop with her not even making an attempt to enter it, he doesn't say a thing and simply follows her.
Every couple of minutes, he glances at her sideways, watching her try to find the right words to engage him in anyway; try to make sense of this mess that has become their relationship.
When they arrive at the swings, he can't help thinking if she meant to bring them here. Just as he's about to ask her, she turns to face him and he sees is puzzling him: pleading, hurt and shame are swirling around in her misty green eyes.
Just like that, the reality of the situation downs on Kate.
He knows… and now so does she.
Tears are stinging her eyes as she faces him.
He watches her avoiding his gaze and then forcing her eyes back to his. And as she sits down, a tear rolling down her cheek, she whispers "I'm sorry I lied"