This my second fanfic.But that doesn't mean I'm used to posting stuff.This is a fanfic I wrote with my friend Nichi. By monday I'll be writing it alone. Nichi-chan is low on plot turns. Well...anyway. Please read & review it! This fanfic I began writing last year so if it seems hard to understand, I apologize. If there's any spelling errors, I apologize for those. I've looked over the document enough times that I wanted to delete it at one time. My computer for some strange reason doesn't have spell check. Which makes properspelling & puncuationquite difficult. Read & review the first chapter. I have 34 pages of this fanfic already typed on my computer. So I'll probably update every 2 days or so. Anyway...I'm rambling. R&R! And Nichi, Bara, Mizu, & anyone else I know who has a account on be punished if they don't review this chapter! Anyway...sayonara! Hail randomness!
The Biabe & Nichi show #2
Chapter 1
Biabe lands in the futile era as a 3-year-old and Nichi as a 4-year-old
Biabe: I had ice cream (AKA a chest) a few minutes ago! No! I'm a 3-year-old!
Nichi: Oh crap not again! This is twice this week you realize!
Biabe and Nichi see Kagome and Shippou on her shoulder heading towards them
Kagome: They're so cute! Kagome picks up Biabe
Biabe: Let me down!
Shippou: This kid has a temper like Inuyasha.
Biabe pokes Shippou's ear
Kagome sets down Biabe picks up Nichi
Kagome: This one is so cute!
Nichi: You call me cute one more time or 'this one' once more. And I'll burn all your hair off guaranteeing you'll feel real pain!
Biabe: Don't hurt her like we did Hiei! He has no arms!
Nichi: And his gravity defying hair is next! Along with his unmentionables! Evil grin
Kagome sets Nichi down in fear of the toddler hurting her
Inuyasha is standing next to Kagome and Shippou
Biabe: Second cousin!
Inuyasha: Who the hell are you?
Biabe: My demon father was your father's cousin. That and my friend was married now divorced from your half brother and they have a daughter named Ki.
Biabe: Still not ringing any bells?
Nichi: Does anything ring a bell in his head?
Inuyasha hits Nichi on the head and a large bump appears
Shippou: Usually Inuyasha hits me on the head. But I like not having a large bump on my head!
Inuyasha hits Shippou on the head and a large bump appears
Biabe sets Inuyasha's hair on fire with her mind
Biabe: That's for not recognizing your second cousin! Stupid jerk! Baka hanyou! Fluffy does better and he rarely sees me!
Kagome takes Nichi and Biabe to the camp she is spending the night in
While Inuyasha is on guard as everyone else is sleeping Nichi runs up to him and electrocutes him
Inuyasha: Little runt, I'm gonna kill you!
Just as Inuyasha gets close enough to Nichi to harm her, Biabe puts a protective bubble between the two
Biabe: Must you really make both brothers want to kill you?
Nichi: Yep! It's my goal in life!
Biabe: Get a new life goal! Fluffy already wants to kill us!
Nichi: I got an idea!
Biabe: You don't get ideas! You get devious plots to hurt people!
Nichi: Whatever you call them. Lets torture Miroku!
Biabe: Why do I have a half sister like you?
Nichi: Cause your cursed.
Biabe: Most obviously.
Nichi and Biabe crawl towards the sleeping Miroku
Nichi: Which part of him do you want to burn? His hair or his robe?
Biabe: His hair! I'm gonna make him bald like all the other monks!
Biabe sets Miroku's hair aflame while Nichi ignites Miroku's robe on fire
Miroku wakes up to the smell of something burning and becomes immediately scared
The next morning Miroku is badly burnt and giving Biabe and Nichi an evil look
Nichi: Oh goody! I love evil looks!
Biabe: You only love them because they allow you to hurt them more. That makes you weird and mentally sick.
Nichi: I know and love it!
Sango: You hurt Miroku and Inuyasha in the same night. But you two are still toddlers? You two cannot be human!
Nichi: What was your first clue Einstein? The electricity or the fire?
Sango: Who's Einstein?
Biabe: Baka yokai! Einstein is in the future!
Nichi: Oops!
Biabe: Sorry for my rude and stupid half sister. The rudeness is from her being turned into a 4-year-old for the second time this week. But the lack of intelligence isn't explained by anything. Nichi-chan just being her baka self.
Biabe bows to Sango
Sango: How old are you two usually?
Biabe: Normally I'm 15 and Nichi-chan's usually 16.
Nichi: Shortness sucks! I can't reach anything or lift anything slightly heavy.
Sango walks away
Biabe: Don't you think about hurting Sango!
Nichi: Why would I do that? Playfully
Biabe: Cause you want to hurt people when you're a 4-year-old!
Inuyasha comes over
Inuyasha: When are you runts gonna leave?
Nichi: When you get a life!
Inuyasha is beginning to get angry
Nichi: Why do you have dog ears?
Inuyasha: Cause I'm a hanyou!
Nichi: What's a hanyou?
Inuyasha: A half demon!
Nichi: Why are you a half demon?
Inuyasha: Cause my dad was a demon and my mom was a human!
Nichi: Why was he a demon?
Inuyasha: Cause he was special!
Biabe: Special Ed!
Nichi: Hey I was gonna say that!
Biabe: Well too late! Sticks out tongue
Nichi slaps Biabe on the head
Biabe: I'm telling Kagome! Begins to cryNichi runs over to Inuyasha and hides behind him
Inuyasha: What do you want runt? Angrily
Biabe and Kagome are standing in front of Inuyasha
Biabe: She's behind dog-ears boy! Points to Inuyasha
Kagome: Sit boy!
Inuyasha lands forward forcefully and Nichi is revealed
Biabe: Yeah! Dog-ears boy down! Laughs happily
Nichi: Oh crap! There goes my shield!
Biabe: There she is!
Nichi: I didn't do it! My evil clone did!
Biabe: Your evil clone…giggle… that evil clone of yours me be quite scary. Because you're already pretty much an evil person.
Kagome picks up Nichi, spanks her three times, & in response Nichi burns Kagome's leg
Nichi: RUN!
Biabe: Why would I run? I'm not gonna run. I didn't do anything wrong. You did!
Nichi quickly dashes away, Kagome goes next to the river, and puts out the fire on her leg
Kagome: The next time I see that 4-year-old …she is not gonna live to see age 5!
Biabe: With our luck neither of us will even live for another month.
Inuyasha gets up and is seriously ticked off at Kagome
Biabe: Sit dog-ears boy!
Inuyasha hits the ground forcefully
Inuyasha: Kagome! You said it once! Isn't that enough?
Kagome: I didn't say sit this time Inuyasha. Biabe impersonated my voice and said 'sit boy'.
Inuyasha hits the ground face first with a LOT of force creating a large hole in the shape of Inuyasha's body
Biabe: This time it was your fault Kagome.
Kagome (Giving Biabe an evil look): Yeah, I know. But the time before was your fault.
Biabe: I'm innocent till proven guilty.
Inuyasha gets up really angry and looking at Kagome
Kagome: Look at Biabe! Points to Biabe
Inuyasha: Yeah right! That makes as much sense as Nichi's claim that her clone hit Biabe!
Biabe raises her hand
Inuyasha: Why the hell are you raising your hand?
Biabe: I want to say something and I don't want to speak out of turn.
Kagome: There is no turn of speaking when it comes to talking to Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: Kagome, Biabe impersonating you is like Nichi's evil clone actually existing.
Biabe: He had his first complete thought! It's a miracle!
Inuyasha hits Biabe on the head and a second bump appears on Biabe's head
Biabe: Sit dog-ears boy! Sit dog-ears boy! Sit dog-ears boy! Sit dog-ears boy! Giggle
Inuyasha hits the floor with a ton of force 4 times and the large hole in the shape of Inuyasha's body gets larger
Inuyasha sits up with a large bump on his head and dirt all over his face
Inuyasha: What the hell runt? What did I do to you?
Biabe: Calling me runt in the place of a name and not recognizing me!
Kagome: Your calling him a nickname in place of his name. You're doing the same thing.
Biabe (Quietly to Kagome): Quiet! He doesn't know that and he probably never will. So be quiet!
Sesshoumaru appears and sees that the 3-year-old Biabe is there
Sesshoumaru: Oh hell no! Where is that devilish 4-year-old your always with?
Biabe: Poop head Nichi-chan ran off somewhere after she set Kagome's leg on fire.
Biabe begins to laugh
Sesshoumaru: What? What is so funny?
Nichi is behind Sesshoumaru, electrocutes him yet again, and doing the same thing as before hides behind Biabe
Biabe: (Under breath) This again. God! She is getting so predictable! (Out loud) Aren't you the older sister?
Nichi: Maybe Playfully
Biabe: Oh forget this! Fluffy here she is!
Biabe stands up and points to Nichi so Sesshoumaru can see her
Sesshoumaru: Thank you runt #1 for allowing me to kill runt #2.
Biabe: No problem, Fluffy! She's been getting on my nerves all day.
Sesshoumaru starts walking in the direction of Nichi
Nichi: Traitorous witch! How dare you rat out your older sister and allow her to be killed? And how dare you find me annoying?
Biabe: I may be a traitorous witch but at least I won't be a dead traitorous witch. And be dead because of Fluffy and I stick by what I say! And I don't care if that offends you!
Biabe runs to Kagome and hides behind her
Nichi: Chicken!
Biabe: At least I won't be a dead chicken!
Econi falls out of the sky and lands on Sesshoumaru knocking him unconscious
Biabe: Yeah! My baby girl knocked out my second cousin and my friend's ex-husband!
Biabe starts jumping up and down in joy then starts doing the robot
Nichi: Man, it would suck if the arm less hiei pooped out of nowhere wearing pink Nichi giggles
Just then magically the arm less hiei pops in out of nowhere wearing pink
Biabe: You just had to speak! Didn't you Nichi-chan?
Nichi: Sorry.
Biabe ignites Hiei's gravity defying hair on fire
Hiei: Ah! What the hell runts? You already burnt my arms off!
Nichi: You didn't suffer enough.
Kagome: Biabe, why did you just do that? I thought you were the innocent one.
Biabe: Guess you were wrong.
Inuyasha: Little runt! You impersonated Kagome and made me sit! I'm gonna kill you! Inuyasha cracks his knuckles
Nichi: You just realized that? Wow you're stupider than Kuwabaka!
Kuwabara appears out of nowhere
Kuwabara: Did someone say my name? I heard someone say my name.
Nichi: Wow! He must be called Kuwabaka a lot!
Kuwabara: I knew someone said my name!
Biabe: I have the feeling that's all he knows.
Biabe and Nichi begin to laugh
Inuyasha: Hello? I'm gonna kill you run!
Nichi and Biabe stop laughing and come back to reality
Kuwabara: I get confused easily. So I'm going home.
Kuwabara leaves
Biabe: Oh yeah…please wait a second while I get back into my past attitude. Inuyasha begins chasing her HOLY CRAP! Sit dog-ears boy! Sit dog-ears boy! HOLY CRAP! Sit dog-ears boy!
Inuyasha is constantly hitting the ground face first with a lot of force
Shippou (to Kagome): I think you lost a job.
Kagome: I don't mind losing that job.
Shippou: At least I'm not the only small thing Inuyasha hits on the head.
Kagome: Actually those two might just take that job as well.
Shippou: I won't miss that large bumps on my head at all.
Inuyasha hits Shippou on the head, a large bump appears, and Inuyasha goes back to chasing Biabe
Biabe hops on Kagome's shoulder with 5 large bumps on her head
Biabe: He must be a real pain in the rear end to travel with.
Shippou: You don't know how much a pain in the butt he is.
Biabe: I don't want to know cause I already have to deal with Matt and Nichi-chan. They're royal pains in the rear end. Biabe jumps off Kagome's shoulder and dodges Inuyasha's fists
Sango: I have the feeling Miroku would be throwing punches at Biabe as well if his hands weren't so badly burnt.
Biabe (as she is running): Good job Nichi-chan!
Nichi: Thanks…er…arigato! Nichi bows
Biabe: No problem! Biabe bows for a second then begins running from Inuyasha again
Koga appears
Inuyasha stops chasing Biabe seeing that Koga is there and Biabe immediately jumps on Kagome's shoulder
Nichi: Another soon to be bald victim.
Bara appears
Bara: Has anyone seen Kurama-kun?
Biabe: No, leave us alone Koga and Inuyasha are about to fight.
Kurama falls out of a nearby tree and falls on Koga
Kurama: Oops! Kurama gets up embarrassed
Biabe: Oh, I was looking forward to that fight!Bara: To bad. My Kurama-kun being the hot and sexy darling he is stopped the fight from happening.
Biabe: How is he hot and sexy? He looks like a woman for god's sake!
Bara: You need glasses!
Biabe: No you do! To see that your fiancée looks like a woman!
Bara is getting angry
Biabe: Yeah! I'm ticking off Bara-chan!
Nichi: We tick off people a lot! Smile
Biabe: I know it and love that!Nichi and Biabe hug
Mizu falls out of a cloud and falls on Kurama
Mizu: Sorry ma'am. Gets up
Bara: Kurama-kun! Are you ok?
Mizu: That's Kurama? Holy crap! Biabe is right when she says Kurama looks like a woman!
Biabe: I'm right? Oh yeah! Bo ya! In your face Bara-chan! Biabe sticks out her tongue and does the robot for a second then stops
Bara: You are not right! Kurama-kun does not look like a woman!
Mizu: Go-men-na Bara-chan! But after mistaking Kurama for a woman I got to agree with Biabe.
Nichi: Way to go Biabe!
Nichi and Biabe high five then hug
Nichi/Biabe: I'm a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout! Biabe trips Mizu When I get all steamed up hear me shout, sock it to me baby! Biabe jumps up and punches Mizu in the face Let it all hang out.
Nichi and Biabe stop singing and fall on the floor laughing so hard it hurts
Mizu gets up
Mizu: WTF? Runts! Why the hell do you get so much joy out of hurting me?
Biabe: Cause you get joy out of my fear of you hurting me.
Mizu: What's wrong with that?
Kagome picks up Biabe and starts rocking her back and fourth for even knowing Nichi let alone being related to her
Kagome (Singing): Sleep tight and good night dear little sweet baby.
Biabe falls asleep
Mizu: Why the hell did you do that?
Kagome: She has caused enough havoc for one day.
Nichi: No she hasn't! I have so many ideas for her to complete!
Kagome: You're a bad influence.
Nichi: You just figured that out?
Kagome: No, I didn't want to say that in front of Biabe.
The unconscious Koga's hair starts on fire and Koga wakes up instantly
Koga: Holy crap! I smell Naraku!
Sango: You know your hair is on fire?
Koga: No!
Koga runs into the river and quickly comes out soaking wet
Nichi: Do you know you're bald?
Koga: Yeah, I'll kill whoever set my hair on fire. But Naraku dies first! I must avenge my comrades!
(Personally I hate serious statements like that in fanfics but there has to be some plot and I also need a semi-logical introduction for Naraku so Nichi can hurt him.)
Biabe wakes up
Biabe: What's going on? And why the heck is wolf-boy over there bald?
Kagome: Nichi burned his hair off and Koga is gonna kill her after Naraku is dead.
Biabe: Let's hope this Naraku character doesn't die easily or Nichi-chan is basically screwed over.
Nichi jumps into Kagome's bike basket
Nichi: Yeah, I know. Does dog-ears boy hate Naraku as well?
Kagome: Yeah. Inuyasha and Koga have both attempted to kill Naraku at least once or twice.
Biabe: Dog-ears boy and wolf-boy are that weak?
Kagome: Inuyasha and Koga aren't weak. Naraku is just really tough to kill.
Biabe: You say potato I say pototoe. But there still is no difference.
Kagome: I'm a really patient person. And your even getting on my nerves!Biabe: You'd have to be patient to be dog-ear boy's girlfriend. And sorry I'm just a troublesome child. Giggle
Nichi: Smelly aura coming closer! Points forward
Naraku is directly in front of everyone
Suddenly the white baboon covering Naraku wears is on fire, and Naraku throws it on the ground
Nichi: Oh darn! I thought that was his true appearance! Oh well, I get to set him on fire again! Biabe: Something is so sad and dangerous about Nichi-chan getting the joy she gets out of setting people on fire. Biabe shakes her head back and fourth in embarrassment of even knowing NichiNichi: Live with it!
Naraku's hair is ignited on fire
Sango: Nichi's trouble making nature is actually a good thing in this type of situation.
Naraku is running around screaming like a little girl
Biabe: Yeah! Burn smelly demon aura burn! Begins jumping up and down
Kagome (to Sango): Nichi is really a bad influence for Biabe.
Sango: I am afraid to meet their father if this is what makes them happy.
Naraku falls on the ground with the flames moving to his back
Nichi: No! I do not want him to die so soon! I want to have some fun torturing him!
Naraku is engulfed in flames and falls off the cliff
Inuyasha: Did anyone grab the jewel shards Naraku had before he fell off the cliff?
Biabe spots a bottle with jewel shards in it in front of her, picks it up, & puts it in her pocket
Biabe: Huh? What the heck are you talking about dog-ears sit boy?Inuyasha hits the floor forcefully
Inuyasha (angry): Never mind! Forget about it!Nichi: I know you must be an expert on forgetting things.
Inuyasha: Huh? What did you say small fry? I forgot what you just said.
Nichi: My point proven.
Biabe: Oops! Go-men-na dog-ears sit boy.
Inuyasha hits the ground forcefully again
Nichi: Talk about delayed reaction. Biabe, you apologized kind of late. And now you have to apologize again.
Biabe: Go-men-na again dog-ears sit boy!
Inuyasha yet again hits the ground forcefully
Inuyasha: Runt! Stop saying 'dog-ears sit boy'!
Biabe: Oh, if I say 'dog-ears sit boy' you hit the ground?
Inuyasha hits the ground forcefully yet again
Inuyasha: Yes!Biabe: Ok fine. Take a chill pill dog-ears sit boy!
Inuyasha lands face forward into the ground with a lot of force yet again
Nichi falls on the ground laughing so hard her sides hurt
Nichi falls into the hole created by Inuyasha hitting the ground really hard so many times
Nichi sees Inuyasha is in the hole as well
Nichi: Hey, what's up homey corn dog?
Inuyasha: You and your half sister are both psychotic & idiotic!
Biabe (from above): Hi, corn fry what's up? I mean what's down? And yeah we know. Nichi especially she landed 500 miles from Tokyo.
Nichi: You two are assholes! You hurt my feelings!
Nichi turns to Inuyasha
Nichi: I resent that remark and I don't care if Biabe resents that remark or not!
Biabe (from above): I sure do resent that remark dog-ears sit boy!Inuyasha hits the ground and the hole becomes larger
Nichi: Holy crap! Biabe stop making dog-ears sit boy sit!
Inuyasha hits the ground twice and the hole gets even larger
Nichi: Crap! The hole became larger and it's my fault!
Biabe (from above) Ha ha! Baka yokai! In your face!
A badly burned Miroku gets up and pushes Biabe into the holeBiabe: Curse you fiend! I should have killed you when I had the chance to!
Nichi: What's up corn fry? You're stuck with me in this big hole!Biabe: And dog-ears sit boy. Don't forget about him. Points to Inuyasha
Inuyasha hits the ground again and makes the hole even bigger
Nichi: Why the hell did you just say dog-ears sit boy?Inuyasha hits the ground yet again and the hole becomes even larger
Biabe: Why the heck did you just say dog-ears sit boy?Inuyasha hits the ground again and yet again the hole begins larger
Inuyasha: Runts stops saying 'dog-ears sit boy'! Biabe & Nichi: Why the hell/heck should we stop saying 'dog-ears sit boy'?Inuyasha hits the ground twice as hard and the ground gives out. Biabe, Nichi, and Inuyasha fall through the hole
Meanwhile above the hole
Sango: That was the largest and loudest yet.
Kagome: I know, but it does seem odd that Miroku even though he is badly burnt. He had enough energy to push Biabe into the hole.
Sango: My guess is anger. Anger is quite powerful take Inuyasha and Koga for example.
Kagome: Inuyasha and Koga are only partly driven by anger the other half is stubbornness.
Miroku sits up and touches Kagome's and Sango's butts at the same time. As a result Kagome and Sango slap Miroku on the cheeks simultaneously leaving hands prints on his badly burnt cheeks
Miroku: Not only does their slaps hurt but my cheeks being burnt make it so difficult to be a lecher.
Sango: Kagome, look down the hole to see why we haven't heard a large thud from the hole since the really large one.
Kagome: No, Biabe and Nichi seem to have stopped saying 'dog-ears sit boy'. Which is why we haven't heard another thud since the large thud.
A large bang comes from the hole
Sango: Nice going Kagome!
Kagome: Sorry, I didn't mean to.
Sango rolls her eyes
Meanwhile back where Biabe, Nichi, and Inuyasha are
Nichi: Biabe, look in front of you!Biabe: Why the heck should I? All I'll see is dirt and more dirt.
Nichi: Not right now, right now you'll see your house. But if you don't do as, all you'll see is dirt surrounding you.
Biabe: Are you serious about the house thing? And by the way Nichi-chan your threats have lost all power.
Nichi: Yes, you'll see your house if you look forward! And dog-ears sit boy is still with us!Inuyasha hits the ground forcefully again
How was this for a first chapter? Good? Bad? Decent?Terrible? I hope it's not terrible. I wanna know what you think. Please no flamers. I really don't like flamers. They stay on my mind for weeks on end. So, please if you think it sucks: be gentle. Don't say every insulting thing you want to tell me. Please inform me of any spelling errors that exist. I'd appreciate that. I hope you like it. Chapter 2 will be up in a week or more. REVIEW! There's no reason not to! You've alreadyinvested your time while you red. SO...REVIEW! Oh yeah, hail randomness!