This is a short drabble inspired by a popular meme in which Naruto holds up a peculiar object when he meets Sasuke after his fight with Danzo (I think). Hope you enjoy it! All characters are owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I am but a humble fan.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed in anger. "Why do you want me to go back so bad?" he spat.
"Because," said Naruto, reaching one hand into his pocket, "You need to take responsibility." He held up a long, pink stick in front of him with a tiny plus sign on one end.
Sasuke furrowed his brows. Is that a pregnancy test? he thought. His mind circled back to the last time he and Naruto had sex.
Meanwhile, Naruto's shoulders shook from laughter. "Can you believe it? We're going to be parents!"
"You're lying," said Sasuke. "I used protection."
"Hey, condoms aren't 100% foolproof, dumbass. What's the matter? Aren't you happy?"
"No," he sighed. "I don't want a family."
"What would you have me do then?" said Naruto. "Abort it? Please don't say so."
Sasuke frowned. "If that's the case, I prefer you take care of it alone or with someone else. Didn't you once love Sakura?"
"Sakura isn't this child's father!" cried Naruto. "What happened to restoring your clan?"
"Oh that? That's an old dream."
Naruto bit his lip. "It doesn't have to be like this, you know. You can come back and live with me. Kakashi is the new Hokage. Together, we can convince the village to pardon you."
"No."
"But-"
"I said no!" Sasuke drew his sword. "Be realistic, Naruto. You can't talk your way out of this. I'm wanted for attempted murder of all five kages at the Kage Summit; I started shit with the Hidden cloud village; killed Danzo and some samurai; joined criminals like Orochimaru and Obito. Don't you understand? I'm tainted. "
"I don't care! You helped save us all," said Naruto with tears in his eyes.
Sasuke scoffed. "Don't waste your breath. I don't want to live there anyway." He drew back his sword and walked away.
Naruto ran after him.
"Please don't go," he pleaded. "At least, stick around for the birth. It would mean a lot to me. You don't even have to go back to the village. We can meet here in secret."
Sasuke stopped in his tracks. "And if I dont?"
"Then I'll follow your ass until you acknowledge our child."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. Typical Naruto.
"Fine," he said. "I'll visit you here, but only until the child is born. We can't risk it getting attached to me."
Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Sasuke. You won't regret it."