Author's Note: I really don't have much to say about this one. This idea just came to me today, and I've been improvising on it ever since. If the story itself isn't so great, I'm sorry. If the characters seem OOC, I'm sorry about that too.
I Love You, Dad
Squall Leonhart, the famed commander of Balamb Garden and saver of the world, was brooding.
Many thoughts in his head were conflicting, battling back and forth, arguing over which would make themselves known.
It was driving him mad.
Many things were driving him mad. He was sick of so many things. He was sick of the endless noise and the many people that wanted to talk to him. He was sick of the empty chatter of his friends, even though he knew they were only trying to cheer him up.
The only comfort he drew was from his beloved; the only peace he knew was late at night when he was holding her.
The only person he could stand to be around was she. She was the reason he woke up, the reason he drew breath to live another day.
He looked out at the empty gray dawn before him. It was colorless and dull, to match his bleak mood.
"Squall?" A soft voice called. He turned to see her, standing there, leaning against the door frame; wrapped in a blanket to ward off the chill of the dawn.
Her familiar figure brought a smile to his lips. The sun, just barely rising over the sea brought out the honey-golden streaks in her soft dark hair. The hair which was now hanging loose, framing her small face.
"Squall?" She said again, her face taking on a worried expression. "Why don't you come inside? It's so cold out here." As if to prove her point, she shivered. He instantly moved to her side, taking her slender body in his arms, holding her tight.
He picked her up, and she nestled her head against his chest.
He walked inside, carrying her to the room they shared. After shutting the door, he gently placed her on the bed, leaning over her, kissing her, stroking her hair.
"Squall…" the dark-haired beauty sighed his name. He leaned over her, lifting her hair and kissing the back of her neck. He lingered there, and then changed position again, kissing her lips.
The sun continued rising, filling the room with golden light. It cast an ethereal glow on Rinoa as she ran her slender fingers through Squall's hair. He leaned down to kiss her again; but rose at a knock on the door.
He looked at his love; she shook her head, smiling. "It's all right." She said. He left the room and walked through the hall.
He opened the door and was surprised to see who was standing there. It was someone who he did not particularly want to see, someone he didn't have a lot of appreciation for.
Squall viewed Laguna Loire with a look of thinly veiled contempt.
"What do you want?" He asked disdainfully.
The tousled man standing before him held up his hands in a gesture of capitulation.
"Just to talk, that's all. Whaddya say?"
Squall winced at the man's abominable grammar.
He shrugged. "Whatever."
"Squall? Could you come here for a minute?" Rinoa called from the bedroom. Ignoring Laguna's knowing look, he walked back along the path he had come only moments before.
Entering the room, he shut the door behind him. Rinoa was standing in the middle of the room, watching him carefully.
"Who is it?" She asked casually. He didn't miss the underhand tone in her voice, though.
"You didn't." He said, shaking his head, even though he knew she of course had.
"Just please, talk to him, Squall. You've been so quiet lately. Please? For me?" She had a pleading expression on her face, but what clinched it was the 'for me?'
He swore. When she used that tactic, there was no getting out of it.
"You know I don't want to talk to him, Rinoa."
"Just try. You may be surprised." She said.
"All right." He picked up his jacket. She crossed the room to stand in front of him. Reaching up and standing on tiptoe, she wrapped her slender arms around him.
"I love you." She whispered in his ear. "And when you come back, you can finish what you started," Rinoa said in a sultry tone.
He grinned, despite his current situation. "Count on it." He said, and left the room.
The two men walked in silence, not speaking to each other or anyone else.
After several minutes, Laguna started speaking.
"Squall, I know you look down on me because I was gone so long. I know you can't forgive me for that-"
Squall cut the weathered solider off.
"That's just it! I can forgive you! You've been forgiven for years! You know why? Because I never knew who it was I was supposed to hate!" His rage of so many years flared up in him as he yelled at the solider who was so very taken aback.
"You were never part of my life. I never knew who my father was. You could have written a letter, anything. I thought you were dead. I made up stories about you to tell myself, so I could pretend that I had a father." He broke off and leaned over the edge of the dock, staring down at the crashing waves.
He didn't know what he expected him to say, but whatever he expected was not words that came out of Laguna Loire's mouth.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Squall. I'm sorry for seventeen missed birthdays. I'm sorry for all the Christmases I wasn't there for. I'm sorry for the excuses. I'm sorry for all the times you wondered who I was. I'm sorry for the lies. I'm sorry for everything." His voice cracked. Squall looked at the man wonderingly. Was he crying?
He was. A teardrop trailed down his cheek, and he wiped it away furiously.
He didn't know what to say. His father, a grown man, was crying.
"I accept your apology," he said awkwardly. "Would you tell me why?" He asked, a little curious what was more important to the man than his son. When he found out, though, he regretted that thought.
"I'd really rather not. I'm sick of makin' excuses."
"If I didn't look on it as an excuse?"
Laguna sighed. "All right. You deserve to know, anyway." He took a deep breath and began.
"Your mom died in childbirth, having you. Real pretty lady. You've got her eyes." He said, grinning weakly.
"Her name was Raine Leonhart. I always used to say her name wrong. She'd get so pissed off. We were always at each other's throats. She got mad at every little thing I did. If I wasn't swearing in front of Ellone, I was misbehavin' in front of her some other way. She was always on my ass 'cause of the way I talk." He grinned, remembering. "But I loved her so much. We were perfect for each other, never mind the way we acted. When she died…" He stopped talking for a minute. "It was awful, most of all because I wasn't there with her. I was only gone for a couple weeks or so. When I came back…" He shook his head.
"Raine always had a real strange sense of humor." He remembered. "I guess her final joke was naming you with her maiden name. But then, she died with the name Loire." He stopped talking again, then continued after a moment. "You know, this is the first time I've ever told anyone about her after she died. It hurt too much. One day I just woke up and I thought "If someone asks me about her, I can tell 'em now." It all happened so quick. To try and take my mind off her, I kept myself busy, I was the president of Esthar, things happened. The world didn't stand still like I thought it would. She was gone, but my life continued. Before I knew it, seventeen years had gone by." He stopped talking to dry another tear.
After a few minutes' pause, he said, "I miss her so much. She was the most wonderful woman in the world." His voice was choky and broken.
At that instant Squall Leonhart truly forgave his father for everything he had ever disliked him for. He looked at the sad man sitting on the wall next to him, and a tear fell from his eye. There was nothing truly wrong with what he had done. He had loved his wife deeply, and when she had died, his heart was so broken nothing else mattered.
He had truly forgotten about his son, and adopted daughter. Ellone had forgiven him readily. Why shouldn't Squall?
The young man looked into his father's eyes and in that instant something passed between them, as Squall gazed into the untold depths of love and romance and heartfelt love and tragedy.
In that instant, they were no longer strangers. They were truly father and son.
That was the last moment Squall Leonhart ever regretted his past, ever felt sorry for himself again. He never again wished he could have had a father those long years passed. He had one now. That was all that mattered.
"Laguna?" Squall said slowly. The man looked up, red-eyed, his gaze a query.
"I love you, Dad."
Author's Note: I really liked writing this fic. While I was writing, I touched some of the deepest emotion that was possible in Final Fantasy 8. The bond between Laguna and Squall wasn't as explored as I would have wished in the game. This fic gave me a chance to create some of the passion that should have been between Laguna and his son, even though the events in the fic probably wouldn't have happened.
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
-Rhialannon