Two Drabbles responding to prompts on Drabblethon on Livejournal

Prompt 1: The Naked Man - B/R are hanging around in R's apartment. R goes out for a moment to get something. While she's gone.... refer to title. Bonus points if it involves EITHER "the Burt Reynolds" OR Barney pretending he is still clothed.

He's blushing as he dresses.

"What did you expect to happen?" Robin asks. Her smile is far too knowing.

"It would have worked."

"Only two times out of three," Robin covers her mouth to hide the chuckle.

He's sulking and she feels kind-of bad. It was fun while it lasted (the flirting) and she must admit to being titillated. After all, things could have got heavy between them once or twice since *that* night (the night of shame and *Simon*) and they would both have be initiated by her. It was only stupid chance that had kept her from doing something really stupid; that something stupid being Barney.

Now *she's* blushing.

She could believe he'd actually been sitting there, texting. Naked. He'd even looked up at her with that expression of complete innocence...

Ted sped through the room, still covering his eyes, despite the fact that Barney was now fully clothed.

"Robin..." He said, through gritted teeth. "Mr Wang's... HOW MANY TIMES do I have to remind you?"

Robin couldn't stand Barney's sad little kicked-puppy-dog expression. She gave him a private wink when Ted's back was turned.

Barney stood up, straightened his tie and smirked. "Totally would have worked."

Robin narrowed her eyes in annoyance at the back of Ted's head. Third time lucky? She thought. Then she wondered if The Naked Man would work for her. After all, it had worked for Lily...?

It was Robin's turn to grin.

Prompt 2: Robin and Barney get together. When they are together with the gang it doesn't even look like they are a couple - they don't like mushy-gushy things - but when they are alone Barney is very different. In Robin's POV

Barney sits at the end of the table while Robin's tucked away, always next to Ted or Lily, always at least one person away from *him*.

Ted's the difficult one. She can't decide if he's like the brother she never had that she can somehow confide in, or if things are still awkward after she blew up at him at his almost-wedding.

Lily and Marshall are easier because there is no tension for them to detect - and if neither of them detect it, then both of them are safe.

Barney's the impossible one. Since they've agreed not to sit next to each other, Robin finds herself watching him from afar instead. It's weird - like some old fashioned movie where the most erotic thing that happens is the occasional accidental touch as they brush past each other. Robin knows that Barney likes that - the romanticism - that he gets off on it, the secrecy...

Sometimes she smiles at anyone else at the bar rather than give him any attention at all. Hey, she's even nice to Wendy. But when it's safe, Robin watches Barney and she *sees* things that no-one else notices - like how gentle he is, how tactile he is, how his fingers caress every surface - the glass in his hands, the wooden table top, his collar and tie, his fingers moving exactly how his lips move - gentle but insistent.

Those lips... Robin allows herself a smile and even a laugh, pretending that it's a reaction to Marshall's joke. Oh, those lips..!

Later on, when the others have gone, it'll start all over again. He'll kiss her like they're Bogart and Bacall and Robin absolutely, positively and literally cannot wait...