Avatar: The Last Air Bender - Flashes of Fire
Everything was darkness. As far as its Prisoner could see was darkness. The Prisoner could always light up the darkness if they wanted, but it felt fitting to have the outside reflect the inside. The Prisoner shifted position slightly on their chosen spot of floor, unseen chains clinking in the darkness behind them. Most would have found such an imprisonment uncomfortable. This Prisoner wasn't like most though.
Suddenly, a heavy metal door slammed open, sturdy hinges staying strong even as the door impacted the metal wall of the room with a thunderous boom. Light flooded into the room, blinding the unprepared. The prisoner was ready though, and as soon as the faint sound of a lock being turned had sounded, they had shut their eyes against the impending blindness.
"Good morning," greeted the familiar, jovial tones that the Prisoner had come to recognize as their jailer. "I don't come bearing breakfast for you this morning, but something much tastier! Would you like to know what it is?"
The prisoner didn't move an inch, didn't even open their eyes. They just sat still, eyes closed, looking down. The prisoner's arms were restrained behind their back, crossed and restricted by heavy chains. Silence reigned inside the cell following the jailer's proclamation. Even with their eyes closed the prisoner could feel the jailer deflating at the total lack of a reaction. At one point in time this would have caused the prisoner to smirk and gloat at the man's discomfort, but now they just sat still.
"Is she alive?" asked another man, no doubt one of the guards who accompanied the jailer.
"I can feel her life force," replied a third person, this one female. "She's alive, just ignoring us. The pompous little b-"
"There's no need for insults," cut in the jailer sternly. The prisoner reflected that though jovial, he was tough when it counted, and had treated her fairly, despite all she had done before being left in his care. "I guess you'd be in no mood for my posturing after such a long time down here, but I do have very good news. It has been decided that your sentence has been served well and you will be freed. We've come to loosen your chains and give you any assistance you need before heading off to your new life. How does that sound?"
The prisoner smiled to herself, giving the first visible sign of life to her visitors. It wasn't a cruel smile like those she had been known to give before her imprisonment. It was a soft smile of relief, from deep down from her soul. The prisoner herself was shocked at her reaction, she didn't think the news would do such to her. She felt relief filling her, and water started to track its way down her cheeks, tears of joy. She opened her eyes and looked right up at her jailer, ignoring the still bright light behind him.
"That sounds much nicer than I ever would have imagined," replied Azula, former prisoner of war and Princess of the Fire Nation.
Several hours later Azula had been well fed, much better than she had any time in the last ten years. After eating her breakfast Azula had been given a medical checkup by the woman who was with her jailer. She had turned out to be a water bender with a talent for healing. After a full checkup she had been placed into a tub of water that had been used to heal and re-energize her atrophied body. This had been followed by another checkup, a series of tests and movements she had been forced to go through, including bending forms under heavily armed watch and a psych test. She had scraped past all of it, though every part of her mentally and physically was weary and weaker than in her prime. No fire had come out when she had tried to bend, and she had had to run the test several times to show that she really couldn't fire bend anymore. Finally she had been gifted with a final meal and the opportunity to an audience with her brother Zuko, the Lord of the Fire Nation for the last ten years. He was visiting nearby and she could be shuttled to meet him if she wanted, the choice was up to her. Azula had declined the offer. She knew her limits much better now than before, and knew it was much more than she could handle. She had had one final request herself for her water bending healer though.
"My hair," asked Azula, her voice devoid of the commanding tones that had characterized it many years prior. "It's grown long, could you cut it for me?"
The water bender woman considered her request for a moment before replying.
"Sure, how do you want it cut?" she asked, moving to pull out some tools from her medical bag. The guards observed her every movement, wary of anything that seemed like danger.
"I would like it all gone," replied Azula emotionlessly.
The water bender seemed surprised by the request for a moment but just shrugged her shoulders and pulled out a pair of scissors. Without a word, and in a series of quick skilled movements, Azula felt the weight disappear from her head. Her hair had become long and greasy without care, making it an uncomfortable liability. Also, while she'd never admit it out loud, it held too many memories she'd rather forget. A mirror was lifted up for her to see how it looked and she saw that the water bender had spared her a complete shave. She looked very much like a young man, even though she was a twenty five year old woman, or so they told her. Time was not important to her anymore. But she did secretly appreciate the hair cut. She looked like anything but any of her past selves, and that's all she had really wanted.
Finally it was time for Azula to leave the Earth Nation Prison she had been holed up in. With a sack of basic items for survival and only a few coins, she set off from the prison, saying goodbye to no one and not even looking back as her jailer, whose name she had never bothered to learn despite the constant chances he had offered for conversation, bid her good luck on her journey.
Azula walked for several hours until it was too dark to continue doing so, and then continued anyways. The dark didn't bother her. After so long dwelling in darkness, it was the light that bothered her. It made everything easy to see and clear, too clear for her liking. The light reminded her of all she had done. Aware of all of the people she had hurt. All of the friends she had hurt. Well, she hadn't considered them her friends when she had done so, and now they definitely weren't her friends. Her family was also gone, her mother disappeared for so long, her father imprisoned for crimes so much worse than even her own, and her brother, estranged. She hadn't wanted to meet him that one last time, old wounds would have been too clear in the daylight.
Eventually Azula just passed out on the dirt road she had been treading, her body pushed way beyond its limits. Her rest was dreamless, just like it had been for many years prior. She awoke to the sun rising in the east, banishing the shadows around her. Her whole body was sore and she had only gotten a few hours of sleep, but she didn't care. She grabbed a few of the crackers that had been gifted in her supplies bag and quickly devoured them. Her stomach growled for more food, but she judged that she had had enough for now.
Azula stood up, dusted herself up, threw her bag over her shoulder and continued down the dirt road, the sun rising into the sky to observe her. As she walked it never occurred to her that despite the chill in the air, her body was still as warm as ever.
Azula's chosen direction had apparently been one that took a while to get to any sort of civilization. So it was, that by sunset on her second day of freedom she made it to her first town. It was really less of a town than a collection of huts collected together in a single enclosed area. Smoke drifted out of the chimneys of the earthen houses as meals were prepared for the night. A few men tended to a large group of cow-pigs in a pen that was off to one side of the village. She guessed that more cow-pigs occupied the village than humans, probably by at least triple, if not more. A group of kids were playing and running around the village. It was only when she was at the edge of the village that anyone noticed her. The children all stopped short to stare at her for a few moments before scattering, some running yelling into homes and others running to the cow-pig pens. Azula stopped for a moment, considered her options and decided to continue walking through the village anyways. It's not like anything actually mattered to her anymore.
As she was approaching the first building a young woman walked out of it. She wasn't really what would be considered a 'beautiful woman'. The woman was shorter than Azula, although that wasn't really a fair comparison since Azula was tall for a woman anyways, but she was what Azula would consider average height. Her long hair was a messy brown mess tamed back into a tail, just to keep it out of her way. The woman was tanned from working outside, was slightly chubby, and had a scar running down from one corner of her face, across the bridge of her nose and down the opposite cheek. But despite her imperfections and low class living, she still had a bright smile on her face.
"Welcome traveler," greeted the young woman. Behind her Azula saw a girl with short dark brown hair, with similar features to the friendly woman. The girl clutched tightly to the young woman's leg, using her as a shield between her and Azula. "What brings you to our town?"
"I was just walking," replied Azula emotionlessly. She gave a shrug. "And here I am."
"Where do you come from?" asked the young woman politely.
"East," replied Azula, pointing back in the direction of the prison. She didn't know if the woman would recognize it as where the prison was or not, and she found it hard to care about such a matter.
"Ah," replied the young, not showing any recognition of where Azula had come from. But one of the town's men who had started to congregate around them as they had talked, did seem to know where she had come from.
"Only thing out that way for a reasonable travel is the prison built into the mesa," said the man, speaking up. "And that's still quite a ways to walk. What're you doing coming from there?"
"Just where my feet took me," replied Azula. She had once been a renowned warrior, but she doubted she could take a village anymore. Let them just tear her apart for all she cared. Some would say she deserved it too. She had basically conquered the entire Earth Kingdom before her imprisonment. Then she had been given over to the Earth Nation as a prisoner of war for the last decade.
"Hey now!" cut in the young woman, stepping between Azula and the man. "He's just a traveler, no matter where he's from, at least treat him with some decency Min! Would you want to be asked such questions after travelling all day?"
"I apologize," said Min, humbled.
"It's nothing," replied Azula. She did note that the young woman had referred to her as a guy, something she found mildly amusing. "I was released from the prison just the other day and set out."
"He's a convict!" growled Min. People muttered around them as Azula judged that the whole town had gathered to see her. New faces were probably not common in this deserted section of the Earth Kingdom.
"Was," stated the young woman forcefully. "He was a prisoner, whose circumstances you have no idea of might I remind you, who was peacefully set free. And if he'll accept, he can be my guest tonight. We have a free room at my place. It's too dark to travel further tonight and it's a ways to any other towns."
That statement shut up the rest of the townsfolk as they just looked at the young woman. Azula studied her for a moment, wondering at her motives. She realized that she didn't care though. She could travel at night, and sleeping on the ground felt kind of fitting, but it would be a waste to turn down the offer.
"If you are ok with it, than I will gratefully accept," replied Azula, giving the woman a slight bow. The gesture was strange to her, but one she knew was used to relay respect and gratitude, emotions she knew were expected in situations like this.
"But Nà!" protested one of the villagers. "You can't just allow a man you don't know to sleep in the home of two young women! Can't your see how frightened Guìyīng is of him! Think of your sister if not yourself!"
"Nonsense," replied Nà with a gentle smile. She turned down to look at the girl behind her. "Are you scared of this traveler Guìyīng?"
The girl looked up at her sister for a moment, then to Azula. Then she slowly moved out from behind Nà and stood directly in front of Azula, looking up right into her face. She seemed to take a moment to steady herself then finally spoke up.
"Are you the fire bringer?" asked Guìyīng, startling Azula at her question.
Memories she had shut away flooded into her. So many meanings of such a title could refer to her, even though it had been years since she had actually brought fire into the world. The girl seemed to notice her confusion, but instead of backing away, she moved forward, suddenly embracing Azula at the waist. Her head pressed against Azula's stomach. She was stunned by the embrace, unable to even move or respond.
"Wha-" she managed to say. All around the villagers were staring at them in surprise, except for Nà, who was just smiling, amused at the situation. Guìyīng released her embrace and backed away, now smiling up at Azula.
"You are!" she declared happily. She turned to face her sister. "He should stay with us!"
"Are you seriously going to allow this madness!" protested a villager. "You're sister has never been fully rooted in reality and you'll be taking her advice on this?!"
"You told me to think of my sister," replied Nà, frowning at the villagers around her. "Well I asked her. She's not frightened and is even happy about it! Why should I turn away someone who has shown me no ill will?"
"I can leave," interrupted Azula politely, tired of the arguing. The offer had been nice, but she wasn't yet in a good enough state to deal with such a hassle.
"Nooo!" yelled Guìyīng, once again grabbing Azula and hugging her. "You said you'd stay! Please!"
"He wants to leave!" yelled a villager. "Let him!"
"Don't be so rude!" chided Nà.
"This is all so stupid to even be discussing in the first place!" complained Min.
"Please stay!" begged Guìyīng.
"Everyone quiet!" yelled Azula, fury overtaking her for the first time since the beginning of her imprisonment. So loud and commanding was her voice that the whole town went quiet, even the cow-pigs. She felt something else stir inside of her, something she hadn't touched in a long time. "I was being patient, letting this all sort itself out. In the time this took I could have been out of here, but now it's late, and I'm tired! I'm glad for the offer, and I plan to take it now! And if you're so worried about leaving them with me, then stop! I'm a freaking woman, just like they are!"
And as Azula spoke, she pulled off her travelling cloak and ripped open the leather tunic she had been given, revealing her small, slightly malnourished breasts to all the villagers. There were several gasps of surprises. She didn't find that surprising though. She was revealing her chest, a chest that clearly showed all she had been through. The water bender healer had cleared her as healthy enough to travel, but only just. Nà ran over, picked up Azula's cloak and quickly threw it over Azula's shoulders. She turned to glare at the villagers.
"There! Is that good enough to satisfy you?!" she snapped. "Now if you're done being rude and shameless, I have a dinner that needs to be checked before it burns, and I suspect you all need to do the same."
And before anything else could be said, Nà grabbed Azula by the arm and pulled her into a hut. Azula didn't bother to fight it, resigned to going with the flow. Guìyīng followed closely behind, practically hugging Azula again. Nà got them inside and then slammed the door shut behind them with a loud bang. She hurried Azula into a plain wooden chair that creaked under her weight. Guìyīng climbed onto Azula's lap and snuggled into her chest, as if trying to absorb her warmth. Looking around Azula saw that the house was made up of a small kitchen with a dining table in the center. On the side of the house opposite the door was what looked like a sleeping area. All in all it was the type of place that could be considered 'cozy'. By the standards of places Azula had stayed in this place was basically the second worst on her list. Of course since she had just spent ten years tied up in a dark prison cell, and her first night of freedom on a dirt road, this was a major improvement.
Nà bustled around the kitchen, checking pots, stirring them, tasting, adding ingredients as needed. She was a virtual whirlwind of activity and energy. Soon everything was completed and she was shooing Guìyīng into her own chair out of Azula's lap. It felt kind of weird not to have the contact of another person; it had been a first in a long time, even longer than her prison sentence, since she had felt such. She took off her cloak and Nà wisped it away, hanging it on a wooden hook by the door. Azula straightened her vest, finding that she had ripped all but one of the wooden buttons off during her fit of rage.
"I can fix that up after dinner," said Nà, scooping rice into a three bowls. She ladled a green sauce filled with meat and vegetables into bowls.
Azula recognized the tasty smelling dish as green curry, which was popular with the Earth Kingdom. She had tried it once during her occupation of Ba Sing Se, and immediately found it repulsive. The person responsible of serving it to her had ended up with the spicy food being smashed into their face and the cooks were severely reprimanded about the consequences of serving her such slop again. She had a hard time mustering her old destructive urges though as Nà placed the food in front of her with an expectant smile on her face. The young woman took her own seat, her own bowls of food in front of her. Guìyīng didn't wait for any signal, she just started tearing into her food with a ravenous hunger that seemed like it should be impossible for one her size. Azula took a bite of her own food, enjoying the sweet flavor of the food. And then she was hit by the spices, her mouth feeling like it was one fire.
"Eat some rice, that'll help things," said Nà, noticing her plight. "I'm sorry, was that too hot for you?"
"No, I just haven't had this in such a long time, I forgot what to expect," said Azula politely after having shoveled some rice into her mouth. The burning had subsided, but instead of anger, she actually felt…amused. She had once been one of the most talented Fire Benders in the world, and now she was dealing with something too hot for her. It was a different type of heat, but ironic none the less. Plus, when it wasn't burning it did taste really good.
"You should try mixing it up into your rice like Guìyīng did," said Nà, pointing to her younger sister, who was already almost finished. Azula did as suggested. It helped, but she also took her time eating, slowly working her way through the food. It burned less, but it also helped to just allow her to relax and … savor the food for once. When she was about half way through her food she noticed that both Nà and Guìyīng had finished eating, and were staring right at her.
"What do you think?" asked Nà.
"Huh?" asked Azula, slightly confused. What had she been thinking about? She had just been trying to eat, not thinking about anything…and then she realized what the real question was about. "Ah, the food! It's very good, the best I've had in a long time."
"You're not just being polite?"
"I was isolated in a dark prison cell for the last ten years," replied Azula scornfully. "Compared to that, Fire Navy ration bars taste delicious."
"You were Fire Navy?" asked Nà, sounding curious instead of the expected fear.
"I'd rather not talk about," replied Azula dismissively, returning to eating her food. It wasn't exactly a polite response to someone allowing her a meal and bed, but she wasn't in the mood to discuss the topic either.
"That's fine," responded Nà, sounding much more understanding than Azula would have thought possible. "Everyone has something they'd rather not talk about. Some more than others."
Azula finished eating in silence. Nà took her dishes and washed them quickly in the sink. She set the bowls on a rack to dry. With that done she directed Azula to the sleeping room which contained only a dresser, a large chest for possessions and a large pile of folded blankets and sheets. Nà walked over to the pile and picked up a section of it. She handed it to Guìyīng who took it in her tiny arms and waddled over to some predetermined spot that looked like any other in the room to Azula. With practiced movements she laid it on the ground and Azula realized that it was a sleeping mat known as a futon, common for the lower class in the Earth Kingdom. Nà picked up another futon and handed it to Azula. She then picked up her own and placed it next to Guìyīng's.
"You can put it down anywhere you like," said Nà, smoothening the sheets. "Would you like more blankets or something? We do have another extra if you want to double up."
"No, this will be fine," replied Azula, placing her mat down on the ground as far from the other two as she could. "Better than the dirt."
"Tell us a story before sleep!" piped up Guìyīng, sitting cross legged on top of her futon.
"Guìyīng!" chided Nà. "She's been travelling all day! Let her rest!"
"Yes," said Azula dully. "I'm tired and need to rest."
And without saying another word, Azula stripped off her dusty clothes, climbed underneath the futon's blanket and immediately fell into another dreamless sleep.
Azula awoke to a freckled face only a few inches from her own. Surprise and shock filled her as she looked up. After a moment she realized who the face belonged to.
"Guìyīng!" yelled Nà, looking in from the kitchen doorway, a frown on her face. "Leave her alone!"
"But she's been sleeping all day!" complained Guìyīng. "I wanted to know if she'd play with me!"
"She'll wake up when she wants to! Now get in here and help me with lunch!"
Guìyīng hastened to obey her sister, stumbling off of Azula awkwardly. Azula sat up and saw that her clothes were laying in a neatly folded pile next to her futon. Picking them up she saw that they had been washed, and apparently had had enough time to dry. She picked up her vest, which had gotten new buttons sewn on already. Azula dressed quickly and walked into the kitchen. On her entrance Nà was cutting some fresh fruit into pieces. She turned and smiled at Azula as she entered.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked.
"Yes, I did," replied Azuka. She hadn't rested so well in a long time, but something still felt off…
"You slept quite a while. I hope you don't mind that I didn't wake you. I thought after all your travelling you'd like to rest."
"That is fine," said Azula. She felt her stomach growl in hunger. Nà apparently heard the sound and with a giggle placed a plate of cut fruit in front of her.
"Eat up," said Nà. Azula ate the fruit, remembering it as from some type of native tree. Memories of smushing overripe fruit into the faces of people who displeased her surfaced in her mind. She shook her head, ignored the memories and just concentrated on eating the sweet tasting fruit.
"What's your name Fire Bringer?" asked Guìyīng, staring at Azula from her seat at the table.
"Guìyīng!" scolded Nà. "What have I told you about disturbing people with rude questions like that?"
"My name is Guìyīng and this is my noisy older sister Nà," whispered Guìyīng conspiratorially, leaning in next to Azula. Azula couldn't help it as a giggle escaped at the silliness of the little girl. Her mouth felt weird, curled up in a smile she realized, and her two hosts seemed shocked to see her doing so. Guìyīng smiled back at her. "You can smile!"
"Yes, I guess I can," replied Azula.
She thought for a moment, considering her next move. She had been taught manners during her days as a princess, but had also known that she didn't need them, others needed to show them to her. She was uncomfortable now with anything that reminded her of her past. Old Azula would never be polite to anyone but her father, new….who ever she was could though. She might keep her father as an exception to the rule if she saw him though.
Reveling in all the new possibilities being free of both jail and the Fire Nation royalty, Azula felt like just acting…different.
"Thank you for the food from today and last night," said Azula as politely as she could. "And for allowing me to stay the night, I really appreciate it."
"I'm glad to have been able to help," replied Nà, smiling. "I apologize for everyone else being so rude to you. They should all know better than that.
Things were silent inside the house after that. None of the three said anything, just stared at each other. From outside Azula could hear the sounds of people running about, yelling to each other and cow-pigs shuffling about. It occurred to Azula that she hadn't told her hosts her name yet. The new, polite Azula would have when they had met. It also occurred to her that she had been a conqueror, not just a random Fire Navy soldier. That probably wouldn't sit well. She needed an alias. Something that wouldn't arouse suspicion…
"I'm Lu Ten," blurted Azula. Nà and Guìyīng just looked at her in shock, confusion and a little bit of something else on Nà's part. Azula felt herself getting a little embarrassed for having chosen the name of her cousin. She hadn't even liked her cousin Lu Ten, she had considered him weak, like his father Iroh. He had even died somewhere in the dirt of the Earth Nation during the war. But she was stuck with it now. It's likely that Earth Nation commoners wouldn't realize it was a boy's name, she should be fine going with it. "My name. It's Lu Ten."
"Isn't Lu Ten a boy's name?" asked Nà.
Damn it! thought Azula. Her mind raced, thinking up an excuse.
"My father wanted a strong son to succeed our family name, so when I was born he named me after our Grandfather, hoping it would lead to strength," replied Azula, mixing in a little truth with her lies.
"Ah," replied Nà, studying Azula for a moment. Then she seemed to come to some type of conclusion and just smiled at Azula. "Nice to meet you Lu Ten. I'm Nà and this is my little sister Guìyīng."
"I'm not your little sister!" protested Guìyīng. "I'm fourteen!"
"And I'm seven years older than you, so that makes me your older sister and you my little younger sister," teased Nà with a wink at Azula. Azula couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the confrontation, one so much different from her own dealings with her older brother, mostly due to her own actions. Nà turned around and started to tidy up the kitchen. Things fell to silence once again, this time to be broken by Guìyīng.
"How long are you going to stay?" asked Guìyīng, staring in curiosity at Azula.
"She'll stay as long as she feels like it and doesn't need you questioning her," chided Nà.
Azula just sat and wondered what her answer to Guìyīng's question really was. How long was she going to stay? Was there a reason to stay? Was there even a reason to go? Where would she go? This little town was basically the most isolated area she'd be able to find that wasn't wilderness. No one out here would know who she was unless she told them. It offered a sort of safety of sorts. Maybe she could stay after all. Loss, insanity and imprisonment had made her very, very tired. She didn't really feel like doing anything or going anywhere. Maybe this nameless town could be the place she just rested her head and…stopped.
"If I could," said Azula slowly. "I would like to be able to stay here for a little while longer, I am tired, and I would be willing to help out with your needs if I can…would that be acceptable with you?"
Guìyīng gave a cheer and Nà just smiled gently at her.
"That would be acceptable," replied Nà.
In the several days that followed Azula got a crash course in how to live outside of a palace or a prison. Sure she had camped out while chasing down the Avatar, but that had still be a much different experience from just settling down somewhere. Her lessons included helping with laundry, cooking, going out to work in the fields to harvest grain and feeding the cow pigs. The town itself was run as a community, everywhere helped out where they could, and she discovered that it wasn't strange for families to invite others over for meals and to talk. This meant that once the initial fear over her had subsided, Azula, Nà and Guìyīng were often invited over to other houses for dinner. Invariably the questions ended up being directed to or about Azula. She refused to answer though, trying to deflect the questions as politely as she could. Nà also helped her to deal with the questions, diffusing situations where anything Azula did would probably just make things worse. Guìyīng on the other hand raved loudly to everyone how great 'Lu Ten' was. This also helped to diffuse tough situations, usually with laughter. But Azula could still see the untrusting glances and angry scowls people gave her. She was an unfriendly, secretive convict, which was all most people needed to know, and all they saw. She didn't feel like trying to correct them though, because she couldn't. Those things were exactly what she was, and everything else she was was infinitely worse.
Azula went to sleep each night sore from the new forms of activity. It took two weeks for the soreness to subside and the movements to start feeling natural. Her weakened state from her imprisonment inhibited her at first, the littlest of exertions or activities winding her. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed as she saw how much better at everything than her Guìyīng was. Her old pride chaffed at such a young girl being so much better at everything that mattered in the town then her. She did feel slightly better when she learned that Guìyīng was actually going to be turning fifteen in a few months. The girl looked and acted much younger than she seemed, although Azula wondered if that was just confused with her own experiences where by that age she had been shooting lightning from her finger tips and killing any who opposed her. Nà was apparently seven years older than her sister, and seemed to be older than she was. Nothing was said about their parents and Azula didn't ask. She dreaded the return questions about her own family if she did so.
So it was after two weeks of staying in the town, Azula found that she couldn't sleep. Her mind was too abuzz with wordless thoughts and nameless worries. The work she did during the day was no longer enough to cause her to fall asleep as soon as she laid down on her futon. The day started early and ended early in the small town, so everyone else was already fast asleep. She quietly stood up, the dark, sleeping forms of Nà and Guìyīng on the other side of the room. Azula padded quietly across the room, opened the door, and walked outside into the night, shutting the door quietly behind her. She stared up at the sliver of the moon that cast only a small bit of its light down into the ground. All around it twinkled more stars than she had ever imagined. The industry that had allowed the Fire Nation to overwhelm the rest of the world had also caused its own sky to become obscured.
"What am I doing here," muttered Azula to herself.
She didn't know whether she meant that to mean as outside that night, in the town in or placed on the Earth. She pondered the questions one by one in her mind, but found no answers, just the lack of any. It was frustrating and she could feel her mind being subsumed by such worries, threatening to eat her alive from the inside out. Everything that had so long defined her, every painful experience, every meaningless relationship and all the hardships and contradictions felt like a black cloak, surrounding her and choking the life out of her. She wanted to scream out, but couldn't, she could no longer find the anger to do so.
So instead of yelling, Azula started to move. At first it was just basic movements, ones taught to her as little girl. She ran instinctively through the katas and forms that had so long constituted everything she had worked towards to come a master fire bender. No fire came out, but just a little, Azula felt the cloak loosen up, and the inner poison to bubble a little less. Her movements were rusty, but throwing away her sense of time, she repeated the movements, the urge for perfection, so long ignored, once again rose up in her. Azula didn't know how long she spent in the basic forms before they flowed out once more like they had in her childhood, and she didn't care. After she had once again achieved a mastery over such forms, she started to move in the more complex patterns, forms and movements. Her movements got livelier as she started to punch, kick and jump around the dusty enclosure that was outside Nà's house. She figured it had been somewhere to tie up or house some type of riding animal years before, but now it was empty devoid of any but her.
But as Azula lost herself in the movements once more, seeking a type of mastery, and feeling her heart lift like it hadn't since her childhood, she became aware that she wasn't alone. She finished up her latest form, the Rising Phoenix, and turned around to look at her witness. Guìyīng stood looking at her from the doorway, a look of amazement and wonder on her face.
"That was amazing!" said the girl, a smile on her face.
"Just basic forms," replied Azula, unsure of what to do. Guìyīng probably wouldn't recognize the forms as fire bending forms, but she had mentioned she was Fire Navy, so the worry existed that she would be exposed. Or was it really a worry? Why should she care if Guìyīng knew or not? The girl hadn't cared about any of the other revelations, and seemed to see her as some sort of important figure, a "fire bringer" she had called her when they first met.
"Were those fire bending forms?" asked Guìyīng curiously, completely meeting Azula's worries.
"These were just basic combat forms I was taught in the Fire Navy," lied Azula, averting her eyes from Guìyīng. The girl just eyed her skeptically for a moment.
"Why are you lying?" asked Guìyīng.
"What makes you think I'm lying?" countered Azula.
"I just feel like you are."
"So you have no proof?"
"No, but you are. Why? Why do you care if I know that you're a fire bender?" asked Guìyīng, sounding honestly curious.
"I don't know what you were taught, but the Fire Nation lost a war after 100 years of invasion into the rest of the world. A member of that country, let alone a fire bender who would have set fire to this very countryside, is not a very safe position to be in currently," stated Azula, glaring at Guìyīng. The girl just stared blankly back at her.
"You're still lying," stated Guìyīng simply. "That's not what you're afraid of? What are you afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid of anything!" yelled Azula, getting angry about the constant questions, prying into her deepest secrets. It was her life, her very being, what right did this little girl have to invade her very being? "Maybe, instead of being afraid I'm just angry! You ever think that!"
"What are you angry about?"
"What I was!" yelled Azula. "I never want to be that weak! That unstable! That alone! Ever, ever again! Why won't you just let me forget?!"
"But wouldn't forgetting just be a lie?"
"No, I just won't need to think or talk about it again."
"But you're lying to yourself. You were that person, and you still are."
"Never!"
Azula stomped her foot on the ground and the night was briefly lit up as sparks danced around her, begging to be lit into fire. Guìyīng just looked on in wonder, but Azula just felt fear. The girl was right, she was the same person. The same awful person… Azula turned away from the girl, her head bowed in defeat.
"You're right," she admitted. "I can't escape from my past. But I can keep walking and living until it finally catches up and kills me for my sins. Good bye."
And with that, Azula walked away from Guìyīng and the house that had been her home for such a nice, blissful period of time. She'd find somewhere else, somewhere new to rest for a little while, maybe get friendly with a family and feel her heart break once more as they found out what she was and she left, or was killed. She took leaden step after leaden step, heading to the back gate of the enclosure that would send her out of a dream and back into the world. But a voice stopped her, rooting her to the ground.
"So that's just it, is it?" asked the voice.
Azula didn't need to look to know who it was, she recognized it as belonging to Nà. She almost did want to turn around though, to prove whether the voice really belonged to the woman or to a voice in her head. It wouldn't have been the first time she had tricked herself into false hope. But instead she just stood, rooted to the spot as the voice continued.
"You're just going to keep leaving? What is it that you really want? What are you looking for?"
"I don't know," replied Azula to the voice, hoping that her voice would shatter the illusion. It didn't though.
"I know almost nothing about you or the you that you seem so desperate to separate from, but I do know this. Leaving isn't the solution. You are that person, you can't escape them. But you can embrace them. Accept who you were and who you want to be. Instead of running, you can turn around and embrace them. Hug the little girl that needs you to hug them. Tell them that it's all right and that you won't forsake them, just make them better; the you that they could never be."
Azula slowly turned around, scowling.
"That sounds like total gibberish," she growled. Nà just smiled gently at her, giggling slightly.
"Yes, maybe it is," she laughed. "Does it help at least?"
"Not really," replied Azula emotionlessly.
"I'm sorry then," apologized Nà. A moment of silence reigned between the three young women, their only company being the moon high in the night sky. After a while of thought, Azula finally spoke up once more.
"My name isn't Lu Ten," she said simply.
"I know," replied Nà. "Did it belong to someone you know?"
"My cousin."
"You must love your cousin if you're using his name."
"I hated him. He was kind, a weakness in our family. He died in the last days of the Siege of Ba Sing Se. He's everything my younger self never wanted to be."
"And yourself now?"
"I just don't want to be my younger self," replied Azula.
"Who were you that you don't want to be her anymore?" asked Nà.
"I was a conqueror," said Azula, clenching her fists shut tight. "I had the Earth Kingdom at my knees. I destroyed all of my enemies with brutality and no remorse. At one point I even almost killed the Avatar and my own brother. And both times, I laughed."
"You make her sound like a fearsome person for a Fire Navy soldier."
"But I wasn't, I was the Princess and at one point the heir to the Fire Nation and for a brief moment, heir to the world! I was Princess Azula of the Fire Nation!" declared Azula angrily.
"And you're not now?"
"I was relieved of my title and status and sent to rot in a prison cell for the last ten years."
"And that means you're not Azula anymore?"
"I don't know…"
"What made you Azula? Do you not have it anymore?"
"I don't have my title, position or power anymore…"
"Is that all you were? Princess of the Fire Nation? I'd heard that all of the royal family were powerful fire benders, do you not have that anymore?"
"Maybe I don't want to fire bend anymore."
"Why?"
"I just don't."
"When did you last fire bend?"
"I don't know."
"That's a lie," said Nà sternly. "What happened?"
"Nothing."
"I don't believe you."
"Then leave me alone!" yelled Azula.
"No!" protested Nà.
Then Nà surprised Azula, crouching into a fighting stance, a basic form taught to fire nation soldiers. She had a severe expression on her face, on that seemed at odds with her usual self. Azula just stood there, neither moving to leave or go into a similar stance. Guìyīng just stood to the side, watching with a worried expression on her face.
"What are you two doing?" asked Guìyīng worriedly.
"We're going to fight," replied Nà.
"No we're not," said Azula.
"Yes we are."
"I'll destroy you. You're not a warrior."
"Neither are you. You've been a prisoner for years, you can't beat me."
"I might have been a prisoner for ten years, but I was still a master. You're just some silly country girl who seems to know a little."
"No, you're been a prisoner for much longer than just those ten years, and you still are. When are you going to free yourself?" asked Nà tauntingly. "Plus, you just seem to think I don't know anything. I know this basic stance, what makes you think I don't know more?"
"This is useless," replied Azula.
"Then I'll strike first!" declared Nà.
She charged at Azula and lashed out with a roundhouse kick. Azula easily blocked the kick, but was much weaker than before and not being in a stable stance, she stumbled slightly, opening her up for Nà's next attack. An elbow lashed out, striking her in the stomach, doubling her over. Nà didn't relent with that though, she swept her feet around and pushed against Azula in the opposite direction with her hand, knocking Azula to the ground. She landed on the dirt ground with a grunt. Looking up she saw that Nà had backed away and was smirking at her.
"What was that about defeating me oh Princess of the Fire Nation?" taunted Nà.
"Shut up," growled Azula, feeling anger rise up in her. Like she was going to just lie down and take this!
Azula stood up and took a fighting stance, one she knew would be good against the one Nà was in. The combatants faced each other, and then in a moment were once again clashing. Azula blocked a punch and threw one of her own, but Nà dodged it. The other woman responded with a kick but Azula ducked under it, and lashed out with her own, which Nà blocked with a grunt. As they went back and forth, trading attacks, Azula felt herself getting more and more frustrated. Nà wasn't a warrior; that much was clear. She just had basic training, but still Azula couldn't beat her. Why! Why couldn't she, who had brought a kingdom to its knees, defeat this one woman! As her anger heated up, so did something inside of her. With each blow it screamed for release. It was an old feeling, one that Azula knew instinctively would feel good when she released it. But another part of her was afraid of it. Releasing this part of her would be bad the voice told her. Control yourself or you'll regret it.
But distracted by her thoughts Azula failed to stop a kick that was coming in at her side. The kick hit her, making her take a step back and gasping in pain. The part she had been keeping down exploded upwards, engulfing her. Azula charged at her foe, a grimace on her face.
"Enough!" she declared. This ends, now!"
Azula thrust forward with a palm strike that was too fast for Nà to block. The attack stuck her in the solar plexus, something that would normally wind her horribly. But the attack wasn't a normal one. Fire erupted from Azula's palm, engulfing her foe. It spread around her, burning through her clothes. Azula smelt burning flesh as Nà gave out only a muffled cry and collapsed to the ground, her chest burning bright red. All Azula could do was stare at what she had done, the full impact hitting her. She had just hurt another person, again. Nà just writhed on the ground, not uttering a word but a pathetic whimper. Guìyīng rushed over to her sister and tried to lift her up off the ground, but found herself unable to. She looked pleadingly at Azula, her eyes filled with tears.
"Help her," she pleaded.
Azula just continued to stare. Nà had been her enemy just the moment before, why should she help her enemy? Taunting her, hurting her both mentally and physically. She didn't own such a person anything. They only one she owed anything to was herself. She was all that mattered, all that had ever mattered. No one had ever truly cared for her, at best they had been afraid of her, or used her like a tool. Everyone turned on her eventually, so why should she keep trusting them?
So, with one last look at the sisters, Azula walked away, heading once more to the gate that would take her away from the house and her life of the past few weeks.
"So, did you find your answer?" asked Nà weakly, gasping through the pain.
"Yes," replied Azula. And without looking back, Azula walked out of the enclosure and into the night. The sound of sobbing filled her ears but eventually faded away due to distance. As the sobs left her ears, she felt rain falling down her face, and dripping to the ground.