The Facts~
Everyone thinks that they're like Marsh's gang. But, they're not really. It doesn't line up the right way. They don't have all the same pieces. Clyde doesn't really get it; why they can't just be "Craig and those guys". Something completely separate and different from Marsh and them. Something unique.
Maybe you can't be unique in a place like South Park. Maybe everyone's a cliché. Every group following the same guidelines.
Sure, Craig likes to think he's a "Stan". But he's really not. He's too mean, too self-centered, too quiet. He entertains the idea of being the big man, but he isn't usually sure about how to get there. The real Stan never had to try, as it usually is with these kinds of things. Though he'd never admit it in a million years, Craig's probably more of a "Kenny" or a "Cartman". If anyone is the "Stan", it's Token. But even he doesn't truly fit. Token is too rational, too perfect, too smart.
None of that matters anyway because the most important thing about Stan Marsh is Kyle Broflovski. You can't have Stan without Kyle. Who does that leave for the "Kyle"? Clyde. And anyone can tell you that doesn't work. Clyde's too gullible, too slow, too calm. He's not insecure or angry or bright. Token could potentially be the "Kyle", but he's already the "Stan". Token can't be the Kyle to his own Stan. Clyde wouldn't want to be Kyle anyway. Kyle scares him often. He likes that more subdued personalities of his own friends. The craziest it got being Tweek.
Tweek. So that'd make Tweek….Kenny? Only because he's the most eccentric. The similarities stop there. And the hair. And addiction, Clyde supposes. But it's not in the same way as Kenny. Craig likes drugs the most and is the poorest. But again, the mean thing. Tweek's too neurotic, too paranoid, too insecure. He lacks the wisdom and street smarts that, for whatever reason, Kenny exudes. Tweek's no lady-killer either. None of them are and thus none of them can fill Kenny's worn-down shoes. Girls like Tweek because he's cute, Clyde because of the shoes, and Token because of the money. Girls don't usually like Craig. Girls like Kenny because he's Kenny-fucking-McCormick and have you heard what that boy can do with his tongue?
And then, of course, Cartman. Clyde likes to think nobody fits the bill when it comes to the fatass because he'd never be friends with someone that…gross. Clyde's the fattest, of course, but he's nowhere near Cartman-esque. Craig's the meanest, the most likely to pull something Cartman would. Token's the smartest, but Kyle is arguable smarter than Cartman anyway. Tweek…Clyde fails to see any similarities there. They're all too normal, too thin, too go-with-the-flow.
That's that really. When taken apart, stripped down to their core, Craig and those guys are nothing like Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman. Honestly, this fact makes Clyde happy on a regular basis. No matter what people think, no matter how many times Stan or Cartman or whoever thinks they're trying to steal the throne, Clyde knows that none of it's true.
It's not even all about what Stan and them have that Clyde and them don't. It's also about what Clyde and them have that Stan and them don't. Or what Clyde figures they don't, at least.
They don't have Token making everybody pizzas from scratch at 3 in the morning when they're drunk and pizza sounds like the greatest thing ever. They don't have Craig's cynicism or his secret soft side. They don't know that Tweek can be calm and blissed out. And they certainly don't know that he can sing. They don't have Clyde's awesome ability to tell which movies are gonna suck.
They don't know what it felt like when Tweek, Craig, and Token came to Clyde's mom's funeral and wrapped him up safe in all their arms. They don't know how to tell which days it is safe to slip the lunchless Craig half your food and which days it is not. They don't know that all is not well at the Black household just because there is money. They don't know that Tweek gets people so much more than anyone else and that's why he is so freaked out all the time.
These things are unique and sacred and belong only to them. Craig and those guys. Craig Tucker and Token Black and Tweek Tweak and him. Clyde Donovan. A boy who loves his friends so wholly and fully and is glad every single day that they do not fit into the mold that Stan Marsh's gang created.
It turns out you can be unique in South Park. All you need is a cynic, a rich kid, a coffee addict, and Clyde. Clyde's not really sure exactly what he is. Token might say he was the glue. The thing that held them all together when Token and Craig wanted to kill each other or when Craig got frustrated with Tweek.
Clyde is glad to have his friends and glad that they are who they are. He will never want it any other way. People should be comparing Marsh's gang to them and that is just a fact.
A/N: This is so not good. I've lost my tooouuuch :'''( I just am so enamored with Craig and them lately. Especially Token/Clyde. That's what I'm working towards here. If you enjoyed, let me know! Raise my self esteem! They make it so easy now with the little box and everything! Thanks for reading :)