Authors Note: Prompt for this story was "Where do you think you're going?" Given to me by MadameCissy. Also a huge shout out to Cissy for her ongoing support and encouragement, and for fixing all my typos. You da best and I Love you xx. Clearly this is Mothership again. If you're hoping for something else, then it might be best to go elsewhere, cos I doubt I will be writing anything other than that for a while. I do hope you enjoy, but if not, be sure to let me know. Constructive feedback is always welcome.
Summary: Sharon and Rusty have an unexpected house guest and Rusty gains some valuable insight into what might have been.
Disclaimer: Major Crimes is not mine. Probably for the best really…J
Through The Looking Glass.
So far this was the total opposite of how Rusty imagined his night would go. He was supposed to be at the movies with Gus, they were meant to be arguing over what to see, and Rusty should have been eating more than his share of popcorn, even though Gus always insisted they get one to share, and not one each. Yes, this was not what he had planned for his Saturday night.
Rusty silently cursed Gus for having to work at the last minute. It was all Gus' fault.
"C'mon Rusty, please." Rusty listened as Sharon called out to him from down the hall.
"You said you would help and so far you've spent most of the night in your room."
She stood in his doorway now, a big grin on her face.
"I said I would be home. I never said I would help. Besides, like, I'm a guy, what do I know about this stuff?"
Sharon opened her mouth to argue but then closed it again. She would give Rusty a lesson in equality at a later date; right now she just wanted him to come into the living room and spend some time with her.
"Alright Sharon, alright. I'm coming." Rusty put down his laptop, climbed off his bed and followed his mother out of the room.
What greeted him in the living room could only be described as organised chaos. Rusty looked around in bewilderment. Where on Earth had all this stuff come from? It certainly hadn't been there when Rusty had retreated to his bedroom earlier.
He remembered back to that time Lieutenant Provenza had paid him to move all his stuff into storage and Rusty had ended up bringing half of it back to the condo. Yes, it looked like Provenza had taken over their home once again. Only this time Sharon didn't seem to mind.
"Since when does one tiny baby need so much stuff?" Rusty blurted.
Sharon only chuckled and moved further into the room.
"No Sharon, I'm serious, what is all this stuff for?"
Rusty followed his mother closer towards the baby and looked around at all the new things that had appeared. There was an enormous pram in one corner, and a big yellow blanket spread out across the floor. On the dining table lay what looked like a towel folded in half and next to that lay a whole pile of things Rusty wasn't even sure he could identify. Sure, he knew a diaper when he saw one but what was all that other stuff for?
"Babies need a lot of things, Rusty." Was all Sharon said. He watched his mother move to the baby lying on the floor. The tiny boy had his diaper off and was kicking his legs furiously in the air.
It was at that moment Rusty noticed the heat. Had Sharon turned the thermostat up?
"Why is it so hot in here?" Rusty demanded to know.
"For the baby," Sharon replied matter-of-fact.
"Oh…" Rusty flopped down on the couch and focused on his mother. Sharon was on her hands and knees now, leaning in to the baby and was she talking to him like she expected him to reply. She did know babies couldn't talk right? Surely Sharon knew that…
"So tell me again why we are doing this?" Rusty questioned.
"You know why he's here, Rusty. Patrice got ill and Lieutenant Provenza was not able to look after him on his own.
"And so…there was nobody else?" he asked sceptically
"Are you really that uncomfortable with him being here? If I had known this would be such a problem for you…." Sharon trailed off and Rusty noticed how disappointed his mother seemed.
Rusty resolved in that moment to be more attentive and instinctively sat up straighter on the couch.
"So, like, what are we supposed to do with him?"
"We don't have to do anything with him, Rusty. We just have to keep him safe and happy."
Rusty rolled his eyes. Of course Sharon would say something like that.
He watched as his mother dressed the baby again and whilst she sat crossed legged on the floor, she carefully lifted him into her arms.
"What was Lieutenant Provenza's son like?" Rusty asked.
"Hmm?" was Sharon's only reply.
"You know, the baby's dad. And what is this kids name anyway?" Rusty questioned.
"Theo. Baby Theo Provenza," Sharon replied with a smile. Rusty wasn't able to see her smile because her hair had fallen in such a way that it obscured her face as she gazed down at the baby in her arms but he could tell it was there none the less.
"I suppose Anthony was a lot like his father if I'm honest. Maybe a bit taller and he certainly had more hair."
Rusty laughed at Sharon's description. "Anthony? So like Tony Provenza?" he questioned.
"Yes, I imagine so."
"He sounds like he could be in the mafia." Rusty thought that was hilarious and openly laughed at his own observation.
"I'm having trouble imagining Lieutenant Provenza looking after a baby. I bet he was glad when Patrice got sick."
"Oh Rusty, that's not nice. Lieutenant Provenza has been trying really hard since he and Patrice got married to reconnect with his children." Sharon looked down at the baby in her arms. He was drifting off to sleep and she leaned closer to breathe in his little baby smell.
"The Lieutenant has always been very good with you; I imagine he was a wonderful father when his children were younger."
That was certainly true. Rusty couldn't deny Lieutenant Provenza had been very good to him since he first came to live with Sharon. Suddenly Rusty felt a feeling wash over him that he couldn't quite identify. Was it affection? For the Lieutenant? Surely not. Rusty pushed that feeling aside and focused his attention back on his mother.
"Would you like to hold him, Rusty?"
No, Rusty most certainly would not like to hold baby Theo but judging from the overly enthusiastic look on Sharon's face it was clearly not the answer she was expecting and so instead "Yeah, sure, why not," were the words that came reluctantly out of his mouth.
"Sit back further on the couch." Sharon instructed as she carefully moved in such a way as to stand up from the floor without dropping the baby. "Which side would you like to hold him on?"
"What do you mean? Does it matter?" Rusty looked puzzled..
"Here, move further to the edge of the couch and you can use the side to support him."
Rusty did as he was instructed and Sharon placed little Theo in his arms. He stiffened noticeably when he felt the weight of the baby and noted with some discomfort that this was the first time he had ever actually held a baby.
"Have you done this before?" Sharon asked her son as she moved to sit beside him..
What was she, a mind reader?
"No, never."
Rusty stared down at the baby in his arms and little Theo Provenza stared right back up at him with big wide blue eyes. They were clearer than any Rusty had ever seen before in his life.
Slowly he relaxed and shifted his position so as to take some of the weight of the baby's head off his arm. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
Sharon watched from her position next to Rusty as her son became more comfortable with the tiny infant in his arms. She took in the almost awe like expression on Rusty's face and her heart swelled with love; not only for Rusty but also for this tiny little baby whom she had only just met.
"Do you think he knows I've never done this before?" Rusty wanted to know.
"I doubt it Rusty, you're a natural. He looks very comfortable with you holding him."
"Really?" Rusty was not so sure but he chose to believe his mother anyway.
For the next little while the three of them sat quietly together on the couch. Rusty continued to hold Theo and they talked a little about Sharon's own children and what they were like when they were babies.
Rusty loved to hear Sharon talk about Emily and Ricky and sometimes he even liked to imagine how it might have been to grow up with them from the beginning. Seeing Sharon with a baby gave him a better insight as to what that could have been like and without warning a flood of emotions washed over him. How different might his life been if this Sharon had been the one to raise him from the start? Pushing those emotions aside, Rusty focused his attention back onto Theo. It would do him no good to think about those things now. For better or worse, he had two mothers and despite his rocky start, Rusty was very aware that he had been luckier than most. Both his mother's loved him, they just showed it in very different ways.
Baby Theo let out an unexpected wail and began to squirm in Rusty's arms. Rusty panicked and looked to his mother for help.
With ease Sharon reached over and took the squirming baby from her son's arms. The relief was instantly visible on his face and Sharon tried hard to supress her smile.
Rusty watched as Sharon expertly placed the baby up over her shoulder and began to coo quietly into his ear whilst rubbing gentle but firm circles onto his back. Little Theo began to calm and Rusty sighed with relief.
"What's wrong with him?" he questioned.
"I suspect out little house guest might be hungry."
"Wait, houseguest? He is not sleeping here tonight, is he?"
Sharon's only response was to look at her son over the top of her glasses and Rusty instantly regretted his outburst.
"You have two choices my boy; you can hold the baby or make his bottle. Which would you prefer?"
"Neither of those options sound appealing but I guess I can make the bottle, as long as you tell me what to do." Rusty sounded uncertain but one thing was for sure; he'd much rather be told what to do than hold the crying baby again.
"Ok, deal." Sharon stood up and moved into the kitchen and Rusty hurried to follow her.
Much to Rusty's relief, everything was already pretty much done for him. How had he not noticed all this stuff on the bench earlier, he wondered.
Under Sharon's instruction, Rusty easily prepared the bottle and placed it in the bottle warmer to heat. Seriously, bottle warmers were a thing? What was wrong with the microwave Rusty wondered out loud.
"It heats the milk unevenly." Sharon informed him. "Amongst other things."
Rusty just looked at her with a look that suggested he seriously regretted asking the question in the first place and Sharon did not continue.
When the bottle warmer pinged, Sharon instructed Rusty to take the bottle out and showed him how to test the milk on the inside of his wrist. He didn't trust himself to make that call and so once Sharon was satisfied with the temperature, she returned to the living room and sat down to feed baby Theo.
Rusty watched from his spot at the breakfast bar. Sharon had seated herself in one of the arm chairs and he could see a look of pure contentment wash over her. It occurred to Rusty that Sharon loved babies just as much, if not more, than she loved Christmas and from Rusty's limited experience, Sharon loved Christmas an awful lot.
Rusty smiled to himself. It had been a tough few weeks for his mom and it was really nice to see her so relaxed and clearly enjoying herself.
Once the baby had finished drinking, Sharon again placed him over her shoulder and patted him on the back, a little firmer than she had done before.
"What are you doing that for?" Rusty started to feel a little self-conscious as it occurred to him that all he seemed to be doing tonight was asking questions. However, if Sharon had noticed, she didn't seem to mind.
"It's to bring up his wind." She informed him.
"You mean burping?" Rusty was amused at that.
"Yes, I suppose that's exactly what I mean." Sharon stood and started pacing the room. Little Theo squirmed in her arms and seemed to become more unsettled. Rusty felt a little anxious but he observed the still calm look on Sharon's face and trusted that this was totally normal.
Ten minutes went by and Theo was crying in earnest now. Sharon sat on the couch with the baby across her knees, and this time she was patting him on the backside whilst at the same time she jiggled her legs up and down. Rusty watched on, unsure what he could do to help. Sharon still looked calm and Rusty was impressed. He was far from calm himself but the sudden thought that this could have been Lieutenant Provenza trying to soothe the baby caused him to let out a snort of laughter.
"What's so funny?" Sharon wanted to know.
"Nothing, I was just imagining Lieutenant Provenza in your position. I doubt he would be handling it quite as well as you that's all."
Sharon smiled.. Rusty had a point; it was indeed an amusing image.
"Why don't you put the kettle on, I could use some tea right about now."
Rusty jumped up enthusiastically. Making tea was definitely something he could do and he cursed himself silently for not thinking of it sooner.
Half an hour later the tea had been drunk and baby Theo remained unsettled. Sharon had wrapped him tightly by this stage and was pacing back and forth in the area near the front door. She had turned off most of the lights and was even singing quietly close to the baby's ear. Rusty wasn't sure if that was meant to soothe the baby, but oddly enough it made him feel calmer. Sharon had a lovely singing voice and Rusty wondered how he had not known this about his mother before.
He noted Sharon was starting to look tired. It was going on for ten o'clock and Sharon had been trying to soothe the baby for almost an hour now. Rusty was starting to become agitated. He wanted to go to his room but he felt like he couldn't leave his mother on her own out here. After all, he had offered to help. Rusty wasn't at all sure if what he had done tonight had really qualified as help but staying out here to keep Sharon company felt like the least he could do.
Rusty was pulled from his thoughts by his mother's voice.
"Rusty?"
"Hmmm yeah, Yes?"
"You looked like you were a million miles away. What were you thinking about? Sharon wondered.
"Just how I am never going to have kids of my own." Rusty blurted out emphatically.
Sharon chuckled audibly, mindful not to upset the baby. Baby Theo was starting to settle down and Sharon hoped that he would soon be asleep. She moved slowly to the couch and tentatively sat down next to Rusty.
"Are you tired?" Rusty wanted to know as he watched his mother stifle a yawn
"A little," Sharon whispered. She leaned back on the couch, scooting down a bit so that she could rest her head against the cushions. The baby lay on her chest, with his face turned towards Rusty.
Rusty looked intently at the baby in the dim lighting of the room.
"He looks like Lieutenant Provenza, don't you think?"
"Sorry?" Sharon looked puzzled.
"The baby." Rusty continued. "He looks like Lieutenant Provenza"
Sharon moved her head so she could look at the baby's face. Rusty was right. Theo looked just like his grandfather. Sharon smiled to herself and wondered how Louie felt about that. Another little Provenza in the making.
Sharon and Rusty sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Sharon was sure the baby was asleep. Then just as carefully as she had sat down, she stood and moved towards the pram. Rusty jumped up too and reached into the bassinette to pull back the blankets. Sharon delicately laid the baby down whilst Rusty pulled up the blankets again and gingerly tucked the baby in.
They both stood back together then and admired their handiwork, Rusty caught his mother's eye and they shared a silent smile of victory. Rusty had hardly done anything but he had gained a whole new level of respect for this woman he now called "Mom". Sharon had been so calm tonight and Rusty found himself again wondering how he had gotten so lucky
Sharon instructed Rusty to wheel the pram into her room and quietly pull the door partly closed.
When he returned to the living area he found his mother leaning back on the couch and he flopped down beside her. Sharon twisted and propped her feet up into his lap.
"Thank you for your help tonight Rusty," Sharon spoke quietly, as if mindful any noise might undo all her hard work.
"I hardly did anything," Rusty whispered back.
"You did more than you know. It was just nice to spend time with you." Sharon reached out and rested her hand on Rusty's arm. Rusty looked at her. Sharon looked tired and Rusty wondered how long it would be before she could go to bed.
"What time are they coming to pick him up?"
"Just after 11pm they said." Sharon and Rusty both looked at the clock; , just over half an hour to go.
Rusty leaned his head back and made himself comfortable. If Sharon was going to wait up, Rusty was going to wait with her.
Just as he closed his eyes he felt Sharon move and rise from the couch.
"Hey. Where do you think you're going?" Rusty eyed his mother suspiciously as she moved in the direction of the bedroom.
"Seriously, Sharon. Where are you going?"
"Relax Rusty, I'm just going to the bathroom."
Rusty rolled his knew better than that. She was going to look at the baby and she would probably wake him up and then he would cry and the they would have to settle him all over again.
Rusty quickly followed his mother down the hall, you know, just to make sure and sure enough, she was headed for her bedroom. He watched from the door as Sharon crept quietly into the room and sat down on the end of the bed so that she could look at the sleeping baby..
Without thinking, Rusty entered the room and sat down next to his mother. He followed her gaze and looked at the baby too. He had to admit, baby Theo was kind of cute even if he did look like his grandfather.
Rusty felt his mother move beside him and reacted quickly. He reached out and grabbed her hand because he was afraid Sharon was going to touch the baby.
Sharon was momentarily startled and looked at her son.
"Rusty?"
"I'm, well, I thought you were going to touch him, and like, I cannot be doing with that crying thing again."
Sharon leaned into Rusty and stifled her laugh against his shoulder. Rusty was unimpressed.
"Laughing? Seriously, Mom?"
With one last look at the baby Sharon stood up still holding Rusty's hand and led him out of the bedroom.
"Come on, let's go have some hot chocolate whilst we wait for the Mafia to come collect their baby."
Sharon was openly laughing now and Rusty looked at her like she had lost her mind. Had his mother really just said that? Obviously she was way more tired than Rusty had guessed, because that joke wasn't even funny anymore.
He followed Sharon as she made her way into the kitchen to boil the kettle and sat at the breakfast bar to watch her as she moved around the small space. Rusty thought about the evening they had shared and remembered the feeling he had gotten when he held the baby for the first time. Then Rusty thought about how happy his mother had looked when she held the baby and how nice it had been to sit on the couch and hear her talk about her own children when they had been young.
Sharon handed him a mug of hot chocolate.
"Does it have marshmallows?" Rusty asked hopefully.
"Of course." his mother replied with a wink.
In that moment Rusty decided he was glad Gus had had to work tonight. Apparently babysitting with his mother wasn't so bad after all.