Kathryn was avoiding him. Chakotay decided she had to be. They had been in the Alpha Quadrant for more than six hours. Orders had been received, debriefings scheduled, and parties were in full swing. He had been congratulated, hugged, and even kissed, so many times he had lost count. But the one person he desperately wanted to congratulate on her success had disappeared the first moment she could.

After bursting through the Borg transwarp tunnel and apologizing to Admiral Paris for not calling ahead before arriving sixty or so years early, Captain Kathryn Janeway had turned to her left looking for her second in command. She wanted to connect with him and share the pinnacle of their success together. But he wasn't there. He wasn't at her side during their moment of triumph. He was gazing lovingly into the eyes of the blonde former drone at the Astrometrics console. She covered her distress well with a whispered thank you to their savior from the future.

When she ordered him to the helm, he realized his mistake. He set in the course ordered by Starfleet Command and turned back to speak with her. She nodded and quietly said they would talk later.

That was six hours ago.

Chakotay paced his quarters like a caged animal. Every time he tried to talk to her, she had either been in confidential meetings, checking in with department heads, or cuddling with Tom and B'Elanna's new baby. Always, her reply was the same - 'later, they would talk later'

Before they got to Earth, he had to know what her plan was. It was more than likely that the Maquis would all be released, but that hadn't been confirmed yet. Not only was the question of their future employment up in the air, but where would they go? If Starfleet decided to not pursue incarceration, would they still be willing to house all fifty of them until they found new occupations? It seemed unlikely to him, so he was eager to discuss options with his commanding officer as soon as possible. While they were traveling slowly toward Earth, the clock was counting down and he would soon know his fate, one way or the other.

"Bridge to Commander Chakotay. Incoming data transmission from Starfleet Headquarters for you, sir."

"Thank you, Harry. Route it to my quarters. Chakotay out."

Chakotay took a deep breath and sat in front of his comm. terminal. Keying in his command code to open the message, Voyager's first officer began to read of his fate.

Commander Chakotay

USS Voyager

From: Admiral Carter

Starfleet Headquarters SF

Mr. Chakotay,

Let me begin with the information you most desire. None of your former Maquis crewmembers will be charged with any crime as of this date. Captain Janeway has forwarded her logs and the ship's official records and we have found no evidence indicating that an indictment is necessary.

The next piece of business depends on you. The majority of the admiralty feels that the former Maquis can be useful as potential officers. However, your past, and their loyalty toward you can't be ignored. We will not be renewing your commission with Starfleet at this time. The other members of your former crew will be offered commissions at appropriate rank and housed as officers provided you cooperate with a dishonorable discharge, and after review, removal from the Sol System. If not, the admiralty has authorised full DDs for all former Maquis and they will be responsible for sustaining themselves after release when Voyager docks. The possibility of indicting you on separate charges at that time would seem likely. That is your choice. Regardless of your decision, you are instructed not to leave San Francisco once you arrive at HQ. We will arrange for your housing at that time. Please reply with your decision as soon as possible - no later than Voyager's arrival in Earth's orbit.

Regards,

Philip Carter, ADMR

Chakotay sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. The news really was the best he could have hoped for. As much has he disliked accepting de-accreditation, he reasoned that it was really all he could do to give his crew options for moving forward with their lives and careers. He also knew his Captain would be furious. She would, no doubt, want to argue for full commissions and back pay for all officers, including him, but he didn't feel like that was realistic. The Vulcan Spock came to mind - 'the needs of the many...'. He would accept - there was no other choice, but he had to speak to Kathryn before sending his response. Furious or not, he'd need her support when passing along his decision to the rest of the crew.

He quickly located Captain Janeway on the internal sensors. She was on deck twelve, most likely heading for engineering. If he hurried, he could catch the turbolift down the hall and meet her before she went inside. She had dodged him one too many times and this time he would walk and talk if that's all she'd allow.

Kathryn Janeway didn't dawdle, per se, but she was taking her time, patrolling her ship - most likely for one of the last times. She wasn't naive enough to think they would simply pat her on the back, say 'great job', and let her keep Voyager for her own personal use. She could probably request to go back into space. Maybe, they would even give her Voyager again, but, for the time being, she really wanted her feet on the ground. Her home was no longer in the confined cabins of the ship, but with her family, both old, and hopefully new, down on Earth.

She paused at that thought. New family. She buried those thoughts way down in her mind. If she allowed herself to dwell on her hopes for her new family, she would break down in tears in the middle of the corridor. If only she hadn't waited too long, and shown so little affection, perhaps Chakotay wouldn't have moved on. She forced herself to smile at a passing ensign and turned her thoughts back to her ship.

Running her hands along one of the control panels, she thought of all the times the ship had survived seemingly on sheer willpower. Despite the odds, the tritanium and circuitry had beaten the odds and held together to deliver them to their safe haven. However, the bulkheads weren't the only thing that kept her going all those years. Again, her thoughts turned to someone who was supposed to be beside her. Except he wasn't. At the time when she needed him the most, she'd found he wasn't there.

That wasn't fair of her. He was there. Just not where she wanted him to be. She had always pictured him standing beside her the moment they entered Federation space. She would reach over, gently grasp his hand, and whisper to him, her promises of a future together. That was what she had always envisioned. But that's the problem with a plan that involved other people, especially if that person was unaware of 'said' plan. If she'd never told him, how could she expect him to be in the right place at the right time? She shook her head again to banish the thoughts once more.

Left foot, right foot. Don't think about Chakotay. Left foot, right foot. Don't think about Chakotay. Hopefully, this would get easier as time went on, because she couldn't imagine having a conversation with anyone at the moment, and it making any sense. He permeated all of her senses, all of the time.

"Kathryn!"

'Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear,' she thought. 'Maybe if I keep walking he will get the hint.'

Left foot, right foot. Left…

He grabbed her elbow, stopping her momentum and forcing her to acknowledge him.

"Didn't you hear me calling? Kathryn, I need to talk to you," he pleaded.

"There's nothing to say. If you will excuse me..."

She tried to pull her elbow from his grasp, but he refused to let go. He pulled her even closer. Her fight or flight response activated at his nearness. Her nose filled with his spicy scent.

"I won't excuse you, Kathryn. Not this time. You have been avoiding me for hours. Why?"

He punctuated his question with a shake of her arm. Her breathing increased and she suddenly felt like she was drowning.

She began pulling her arm away in earnest. "Let go!"

"No! We need to have this out right now." He stepped even closer, invading her personal space, nearly to the point of full body contact. She didn't understand his sudden display of forceful urgency.

Her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped a few levels. "I'm not doing this in a corridor, Commander. York is expecting me in Engineering. Let me go!"

He glanced behind him, then forcefully grabbed both her shoulders and shoved her into the weapons locker located just outside Engineering. Chest to chest, he wedged them between two shelves of compression rifles and keyed the door shut.

"Then we will talk in here. You wanted private, now out with it. Why have you been so scarce today?!"

He loomed over her like a powerful jaguar and she suddenly felt like prey. Their chests were touching, rising and falling in sync. The ragged breathing of anger began to dissipate and she became very aware of the tight confines of the small space. The shelving unit behind her forced her to align her body with his - chest to thigh. His hands were planted on his hips in anger.

The atmosphere of the tiny alcove slowly changed as they eyed each other. Her hands on his chest, initially placed there to push him away, were burning fire through his uniform. He heard her breathing change, and watched her eyes darken with desire. For him.

He paused just a moment, holding his breath. But then, ever so slightly, she tipped her head toward him. Without conscious thought, he pounced, wrapping his arms around her back and crushing his lips to hers. Her cry of surprise, he swallowed whole.

Her arms slid around his neck and she sighed into his mouth. He accepted her invitation and swept his tongue inside to meld with hers as her fingers wrapped tightly in his hair. He pulled back only for a second to catch his breath before attacking her mouth at a different angle.

Her knees went weak, and he thrust a thigh between her legs to keep her upright.

She was rubbing herself along his leg, until she realized what was happening and shook herself free of the lust-filled haze and pushed hard against his chest. He bounced back against the second shelving unit panting hard as her hand flew to cover her swollen lips, bruised from his kisses.

"Kathryn…" he wheezed.

"No!" she cried, punching the door release and making her escape. Once in the hallway, she turned back to face him in the dimly lit room. "Don't call for me again."

She walked out of range of the sensor, and the locker door slid shut.

What had she done?