Hey hey, everyone. :) My name's Connor, and between studying plant genomes and writing my own novels (currently unpublished), I like to write fanfiction. I've been here for a while, but have been on a bit of a hiatus. I'll normally write author's notes at the end, but I have a few comments to make up front:

-This fic is rated T, so there will be mentions of sex. Nobody's going to have sex in the story (that's a promise), but sexuality is important for some of the characters in this story and it feels weird to talk about sexuality but not mention sex at all. Still, if you weren't horribly offended by the dick jokes in the Shakespeare plays your teachers made you read I doubt this will do you in.

-Being rated T also means there might be swearing. That is, if it actually adds anything to the characters. There's one character in this chapter that seems to have a bit of a potty mouth, so we'll see where they go. So I can't promise not to swear, but I can promise that I won't swear just to be edgy.

-Feel free to leave a review! :) All feedback is appreciated, and hearing from everyone on this site is one of the reasons I've stuck with writing fanfics. I think this month marks the fourth year I've been on this site, and it's been a blast.

-And feel free to chat with me over Private Messaging about anything! Writing, Earthbound, Smash Bros, how your day's going, anything. I promise I don't bite. :)

Five years after the events of Earthbound:

As usual, Paula showed up late for the definitely-not-a-date she and Ness had planned in Fourside. Ness watched her walk into the burger shop, her hair now dyed spring green instead of the previous cotton candy blue, levitating a Rubik's Cube in front of her. As she walked over and sat down across from Ness at the two-person table, the Rubik's Cube twisted and turned on its own. Ness watched as the colors whizzed by as the toy floated in air even after Paula took her seat.

Ness remembered how the constant psychic energy radiated by telekinesis had annoyed him back when he could sense PSI.

A teenage waitress with glossy lipstick walked up and handed Ness and Paula menus before setting down two waters.

"Our new item is the hero's burger," she said, fluttering her eyelashes at Ness. "In addition to the patty, it also includes a layer of steak. Our chef would be excited for you to try it and tell us what you think."

"Ooh," Paula said. "I'll take one of those."

The waitress cleared her throat, eyes trained on Ness. "And you, sir?"

"Uh, could I have a minute?" Ness glanced down at the menu, even though he knew it by heart.

"Please, take your time. And let me know about anything you need. I don't suppose you'd give me your number? I'm a big fan."

A fan? Like he was some sort of rockstar or football player?

"Uh, I don't take calls from people I don't know," Ness said. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

The waitress winked at Ness, glanced over at Paula, hesitated, and then walked away. Paula looked over her shoulders to watch the waitress' footsteps. After she disappeared around the corner, Paula turned back with a smirk on her face.

"Oh, she totally wants to fu-"

"Paula."

She started laughing, and the Rubik's cube dropped onto the table. "Trust me, Ness. I know a horny chick when I see one."

"I'm not going to argue with you about this one. Guess next time I can search for a place that's never heard of us."

"That must be getting harder and harder." Paula wore a mischievous smile. "You know, politicians always talk about creating jobs, but we should get some credit for launching the careers of those paparazzi reporters that stalk us. Oh." Paula slammed her fist on the table, and the waters shook. "We should forage in the Lost Underworld next time. Make it a camping trip or something."

Ness bit back a sigh. He couldn't expect Paula to walk on eggshells around the subject.

"I would love to," Ness said, "But I don't think it would be safe for me."

Paula's expression fell. "Oh, right. I'm sorry."

Ness glanced around, and fortunately most of the seats around him were empty. He made eye contact with a middle-aged man in a suit who stared for a moment before looking down at his food. Ness offered a silent thanks for the people who did respect boundaries.

"Let's just talk about something else," he said. "What's happened in your life since I saw you last month?"

Paula grunted. "SAT. My parents said it was pointless since I'll be famous enough to make money for the rest of my life. And yeah, I could probably write a book titled What it was Like to be The Awesomest Person of All Time and make a killing while fueling the sexual desires of teenage boys all across Eagleland…"

"Please. We're in a public area."

"What? Staying quiet about how there's probably somebody masturbating to each of us right now doesn't make it go away."

Ness rubbed his temples. "Why do I put up with you, again?"

Paula laughed. "I ask myself that question every time we meet up. But admit it. You probably like having someone who isn't afraid to step on your toes every once in a while."

"So you're the same way?"

"Yeah, unless it goes into that weird harassment area." Paula crossed her arms. "Someone should seriously bug Poo and tell him that he's lucky to be living at the top of a mountain where nobody can reach him."

"I'll put that on my list of things to do," Ness said. "Right after relearning how to teleport."

Paula met his gaze. "Are you going to get pissy every time you think about how you can't use PSI anymore?"

"It's just an observation."

Paula raised an eyebrow.

"I'm trying to joke about it," Ness said. "But yeah, I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect me."

"How's your social life been?" Paula said. "Making any friends you can talk to about this sort of thing?"

"Now you're just sounding like my mom."

"I'm going to take that as a no. And I don't suppose you've fallen in love with a cute girl?" she paused. "Or a cute boy. Whatever floats your boat."

Ness felt his shoulders tense up. Paula didn't sound bitter, when he looked into her eyes she didn't look angry, but there must be some part of her that hated him. Maybe it would have been easier if she had screamed and thrown apples at him with telekinesis when he dumped her.

"Didn't think so," Paula said. "But hey. We both know I don't stand a chance at seducing you, but there's got to be someone out there for you. It will be easier to talk with them about these looming fears."

"Have you found that person?" Ness said.

"Well, I thought it was you." Paula's voice remained calm. "But after that, no. Still, I know it will come sooner or later. Plenty of fish in the sea."

Ness swirled the ice in his water. "Sorry."

"Better to call it off when you did rather than ten years into marriage when we're already saddled with screaming kids." Paula leaned in and put a hand on Ness' shoulder. "I just wanted to say that you can lean on me if you ever feel weak or scared. I won't judge. Exes or no, we still understand helplessness in a different way than most people do."

And that was all it took for Ness to be back. Five years ago, and also so much more, to the birth of evil itself.

Red and black swirling…

Heavy noises echoing…

And then…

PAIN.

"Words don't do that moment justice, do they?" Ness said.

"Nothing can describe it." Paula's voice was soft as a whisper. "So trust me, Ness. I know what it's like to feel like you can't do anything."

"Then how did you manage it?" Ness said. "What strength did you draw on to pray when we were fighting Giygas?"

Paula hesitated. Leaned back. "I don't…"

Her hands started to shake. Ness looked up to Paula and saw her taking deep breaths. The last time he had seen her distraught was…

Oh no.

Ness reached out and locked his fingers with hers. He looked into Paula's eyes as she managed a weak smile.

"I still love you," Paula said.

Ness froze. What was he supposed to say to that?

"God, how long has it been?" Paula shook her head. "Years, right? I should be over you by now. I'm sorry."

"It must be hard," Ness said. "Seeing me when I can't bring myself to…"

Love her? Was love the right word? Ness had always enjoyed the hugs, the shared sodas, the sitting down on the hills of Onett and talking until summer days turned to summer nights and the two of them pointed out stars to each other.

But when it came down to it, Paula was attracted to him and he wasn't attracted to her. No amount of smiles and tears could bridge that chasm between them.

"It wouldn't be fair for you to lose a friend," Paula said, "But of course I hate that I can't be with you."

Ness watched Paula inhale, then exhale. This was his fault, right? The pain in her heart came from him.

"Oh, right. Gigyas." Paula's eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure I believe the same things now as I did then. You know, that people are good and that we want to take a stand together against evil. So if it were me today fighting against Giygas, I don't know if I would find the strength to pray. We might have just all died instead."

"It shouldn't have just been your burden," Ness said. "And I think it was different for us in the moment, when we were ready to grasp onto anything. Now we know that the world is larger and scarier than we could have ever thought."

"And that evil in the adult world comes from within, not some monster that corrupts people. Yeah, we're on the same wavelength here. If only…" Paula drummed her fingers on the table. "No. I can't let my wishful thoughts take control. I know you better than almost anyone else on this planet, and I'm here for whatever you need. So if you need to vent to someone about not being able to use PSI, you have my number."

Ness nodded. "That means a lot to me. Can I ask you to answer me honestly about something?"

"'Brutally honest' is my middle name."

Did that mean he be worried about Paula tearing him apart for this? "What if there were a potentially crazy way for me to get PSI back? Something where my only lead is a single thread."

Paula's face lit up. "Then you should invite me so we can work together like the old days. Maybe bash some skulls together, if it's that kind of crazy."

"Well, I hope not. But Jeff might know how to get my PSI back."

"Ooh. This sounds like the start of a mystery." Paula stood up. "Or a long-overdue investigation of one. What are we waiting for? The Phase Distorter is still in Saturn Valley, right?"

"Um, don't you think we should finish lunch first?"

Paula rolled her eyes and sat down. "Killjoy. Fine, we'll actually do the smart thing and make sure we investigate on a full stomach. But then we can grab our magnifying glasses and investigate."

"Magnifying glasses?"

"Yeah. Like a science detective person." She closed one eye and pretended to hold a lens up to the other. "Do I look like Jeff?"

"I'm not sure you know what scientists actually do, Paula. And Jeff's an engineer."

Paula sighed. "You're right. It's no fun pretending like I have no clue what he actually does unless he's around."

At this point, the waitress came up and interrupted their conversation. Ness decided to order a salad instead of the specialty hero burger, telling the waitress that he had eaten so much steak and hamburgers over the past few days that he just wanted a break. It was probably even true.

"Damn," Paula said after the waitress walked away. "I never thought I'd see the day. I guess I do get to be your mom, because I'm proud of you for finally acknowledging that you're not allergic to anything green."

"Well, you know." Ness leaned back in his seat and grinned. "People change."

The salad was indeed refreshing after Ness had basically shoveled junk into his mouth for the previous few meals, although his enjoyment was somewhat tempered by Paula's constant praising of the hero burger as she wolfed it down.

"If only Poo were here so he could lecture us about the environmental impacts of beef," she said, chewing food in her mouth. "I miss our friends."

After finishing lunch, Paula found an open area in one of Fourside's parks. As they stood under the light of the noon sun, Paula closed her eyes.

"I may or may not regret eating that hero's burger after remembering that we have to spin in circles to teleport," she said.

"Don't worry, I won't mind if you barf after we warp away," Ness said.

Paula laughed. "I love it when you're the absolute worst like this. Are you ready to head off?"

"About as ready as when we had to face Master Belch."

"Shut up."

Paula went through the familiar motions for PSI Teleport β, and as Ness legs carried him around in small loops, he remembered the rush of learning how to teleport the first time. Even if he got his powers back, would he ever feel that same high again?

#

"Boing."

Ah, there it was. The yellow-green plains grass that was trimmed to ankle length, the azure lake in the center of the valley, and the giant metal Mr. Saturn standing still, its reflection distorted in the lake water. Paula walked over and hugged some of the Mr. Saturns while they made their "ding" and "zoom" noises. Ness watched, leaning on a tree as she laughed with the knee-high creatures.

After a few minutes, Ness walked over to the Phase Distorter itself and put his hand on the warm metal. He looked up at the black Mr. Saturn eye on the machine. Could a device this complicated have… thoughts? Somehow, even Ness' journey five years ago seemed more complicated now than it had then.

"Probably should have told our parents where we were going, huh?" Paula said, walking up next to Ness. "But that's the fun part of going on another adventure. Nobody else can hold us back or tell us what to do."

If only Ness could live that way forever. Just him and his friends, travelling the world and fighting monsters together. No need to worry about school or college, no need to avoid microphones and cameras shoved in his face.

"But I'm doing that thing where I talk too much, aren't I?" Paula said. Looking Ness in the eye, "Are you sure you want to activate this machine and go to wherever Jeff and Dr. Andonuts went when they disappeared?"

"Probably should have done it sooner," Ness said. "I just thought I had moved beyond crazy quests like this."

Paula snorted. "We'll never be too old for trekking through the unknown together."

She put one hand on the Phase Distorter and grabbed Ness' free hand with the other. After a moment, she frowned.

"So… you have any idea how to turn this heap of junk on?" Paula said.

"I always assumed it was some fancy science Dr. Andonuts used."

"Hmm." Paula furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, I can try to probe around with PSI. If the Mr. Saturns helped make this, there should be some psychic energy I can detect and interpret. PSI Magnet."

Paula closed her eyes. Ness waited for her to detect the waves of energy coming out of the machine, occasionally glancing down at her hand holding his. It was probably smart for them to be connected in case the Phase Distorter actually teleported them somewhere (or somewhen), but her palm pressed against his felt awkward after Paula's admission of her feelings.

Ness bit his lip. This wasn't fair of him. Paula had every right to hate him for shoving her aside. What right did he have to shy away from the situation's awkwardness?

"Hey Ness." Paula opened her eyes. "I was messing around with the psychic energy and something weird might have happened."

"What exactly do you mea-"

The world flashed white around Ness.

Okay, so this chapter was kinda a setup chapter, but I promise to get us moving into the meat of the story. So if you liked it but aren't sure how you feel about where the story's going, I'd urge you to stick with me for at least another chapter. Moving further into the story, I also hope the ideas will feel less scattered.

Also, don't worry if not everything makes complete sense yet. The full details about Jeff's disappearance are clear to the characters, but they're not vital to the story just yet. So I don't expect readers to understand everything.

Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day. :)