I asked my master today... 'What makes me so different...
...Different from the others...?'
He answered, his voice calm. It sounded like honey
"Because... you are special, and special is never a bad thing... You are my special one... you are my Nacht..."
I smiled... He was so kind to me...
He gave me a hug...but... there was something about the hug that made me think
...was what I did the wrong...?
Those eyes...
Those cold soulless eyes...
I always wondered if that would be the last thing I saw...the eyes of my master.
I thought he would take me to the grave for being such a failure...a failure experiment.
Those cold blue eyes...I shiver when ever I see them, I'm restless at night after I see them, feeling him watch me as I sleep...
When I was younger...I always felt he hurt me because he loved me...hurt me to protect me...
...But eventually, the pain got worst, the punishments more...brutal, more...unnatural.
He didn't love me...
Not like a father would a son...
Not like a master would a slave...
I hate the pain...I hate the feeling of a cold blade to my waist. It hurts...
The liquid in those syringes... They hurt...
Master...
...Why are you hurting me...?
...Master... why...?
Don't hurt me anymore...
Master locked my in the closet today...
With the dogs...
Those dogs...those hungry, starving dogs...
I'm surprised they hadn't eaten each other...
I pleaded him, begged him not to put me in with them...but like always, he pushed my voice to the back of his mind.
Why...
Why did he lock me in...?
Why did he let the dogs bite into me...?
Why did he just let me get torn apart...?
Why did he ignore my screams...?
I had to sew myself back together after he put the dogs away...
I could still feel them biting into my skin...
The needle and thread didn't hurt as I fixed myself...
..The past pain hurt so much more, and the pain in my chest.
My heart...
He sent me away today...
His voice was laced with hatred...
Now I know I did something wrong...
He hated me... I couldn't protect him like he asked...
He sent me away, he said he was done 'playing with me'
...
Why did he say it like that...?
He never loved me like a father would...
He...hated me...
Did you find this journal...?
Did I hurt you by accident...?
Don't worry...I will put you back together,
I will heal you, fix you...
I will heal you like that medic said he'd heal me,
That lying, conceiving medic who cared nothing about me...
The one who made me to hurt me...
The one who made me THIS way.
I'll heal you like I was forced to heal myself most of my life...
Do not be afraid, my dear,
I'm nothing scary, or I shouldn't be...
...However...If you run, I will hunt you down...
You know too much, you know where I live,
You know of my presence.
Although, I do love a chase, A good game of hard to get...
May I make a suggestion...?
...Run...