Harry Potter:
The Bloody Prince
Hey, what is the up and happening guys! Since I like Harry Potter, I decide to writ a story about it. You remember, in the Half-Blood Prince where Dumbledore died and all that shit happened? Well, think of this of an even more awesome version of it!
Draco Malfoy gets the superwand and yells "I'm going to kill u Dumbledore!"
N then Professor Snape appears of everywhere n nowhere n says "Hey u, give me that wand Malfoy or I'll kill you kill you!"
An than Malfoy yes "No, Ion't wat to won't whore for you for you any mo! You fatzo n uglyshit n men n crepy!"
And then Snake yanks the wand from Milfzoy and points it at Dumbadoor.
"Expellius!" cried Snake and kicked Draco off the tower (just like 300, which is kind of stupid except that scene)
N zen woter dudes came out of the tower and yanked the wand out of Snape's hand n said "I'm teared woking off for you! zennd u masturbate two much!"
Then Snape puchess one of the dudes off the tower. Zhe othr permefrost son grabebes the wad and mutters a spell n Snape disapitate pears Then Draco Meowthfoy came back up to the tower and says "Give me that wand, Snake!"
"And u reember Harry, Zack, & Cody rom udder ze floorboards witnessing it!" says the other dude.
But Malfoy gets thrown to the floor and Snape looks at Hamblefuck points the wand at Dumbledore and cries "Expellius!" in a very nrdy way beofre kicking Dumbledore off the tower (u no, tze 1 wehn king Leonidia kicked tha nigger's ass into the pti? Hahaha lol). Harry Potter turks down thee (as in he's plain wit hintself, hehe) as soon as psiblile and then he tulks to Damfuck.
Dumbledoretits Harry tolde him to get coser and Dumbdore whisperd his finale words: "I'm queer."
And then Harry Potter screams, "NOOOOO! I love ya too, Dumbledore!""
and the Snake appears and proclaims "I have a bomb n I'm gonna to drop it on u n I'm going to make explode in a honor and five seconds."
Butt Harry Potters is confused. "Doncha mean an hour, u stupidfuck?" Then he rembers another thing n asks "Isn't it Daylight Savings Time?"
"Daylight's Savings Time!" Snape yelled. "NNOOOOOOOO!-" N the bomb exploded (1000 ways to die reference, check it). N then they all turned into ghosts exet Ronarold Wesley who mysteriosuly mangled to survive.
N then the ghosts of the Harry Potter univeers thought, "Let's take Harold's body sinse he is fat n queer!" N so-all jhe zombie-ghosts took over zhe body, but Snape took cuntol of Harold's arm n punched him in zhey ballsack.
"Oi!" Harold cried. "Why did I done that?"
N zen he hears Harry's voice. "Harold, Harold, Harold!" the voice echoed.
"Harry, I that you?"
"No, you're hearing voices, shitbag!" screamed Voldemort.
"Who the fuck do you think it was!" yelled Harry's voice.
"Freeze!" yelled a an in a U.S. Arm Uniform.
"Who the hell are you?" asked Ron.
"We are from the U.S. Army" sad the man in uniform. All of sudden, theze were people coming out of trees and bushes.
"You guys ask for it!" screamed Ron, altoegh it was Voltemort's voice that was talking, not Ron's.
"Holy shit! This fucker's posessed!" cried the U.S. Army man.
"Quick, get Command & Conquer on the line!" yelled another Army soldier.
"I will kill you all!" cried Ron/Voldemort, pointing his wand at the soldiers. "Abra Kadabra!"
"Oh wow, this guy still plays Pokemon!" laughed the soldier. All the guys laughed with him, except for Ron who was then possessed by Hermonine.
"Pokemon is a great game!" yelled Hermoine's voice
"N she cried in a loud voice, 'Lazarus, come forth!' N Lazarus did arise from the grave!" yelled a U.S. soldier.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Screamed the commander, slapping the soldier silly unitl the soldier's cheeks began to bleed because his flesh wassah peeing off.
"Somehin's wrong wit u, beaner!" screamed another sloder who was wearing a KKK hood.
"Fuck you, cracker!" yelled the commander. "bring in the rain!
N then all of the United States Armed Forces sended a nuke on Harold and everyone died. Or so it seamed...
...Btu zen, the motherfucckas, went o the Irish pubes.
THE END