A/N: Hi again! I was singing this song myself – I don't know who wrote it; it's a folk song – and ended up thinking about how Kalasin must have felt when she left her home. I imagine she must have been about sixteen, although no mention is made of her betrothal in Squire. So I pretended that it was because – well, you'll see. Kalasin is sixteen, making Kel approximately 15 (I figured this out through Aly's mention in TC of her mother's speaking of ten-year-old Kel when Aly was seven, and Aly is four years younger than Kalasin), and Roald seventeen. If I'm wrong then please correct me.
Are we allowed to dedicate fics? This story is dedicated to anyone who has moved and left behind friends and/or family, and to anyone who has had someone move away from them. Heaven knows I had my share of sad moments, and I'm going home in eight months.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Tamora Pierce owns all except the song. Which is why she is a happy woman and I am a fifteen-year-old fanfiction-writing girl. Nobody owns the song.
Who Can Sail
Kalasin stood at the stearn of the ship, feeling the wind in her hair and the sea breeze on her back as she had so many times before. For a moment she imagined that she was a little girl called Kally again, with no worries bigger than whether Daine would let her watch a cat's giving birth.
But it wasn't true. She wasn't Kally anymore; she was Kalasin of Conté, and at sixteen she was on her way to Carthak and marriage. She had never met Kaddar, but Daine, Numair, Alanna, and Lindhall Reed had all vouched that he was a good man. Carthak was turning into a prosperous country under Emperor Kaddar's rule.
Kalasin already hated it there, and she hadn't even arrived yet.
It wasn't so much what Carthak was as what it wasn't. It wasn't where her friends and family lived. It wasn't where she had grown up.
It wasn't home.
Oh, Kalasin knew that she would probably grow to love Kaddar, and Carthak. She had been brought up with the knowledge of a probably arranged marriage, and her father had given her the chance to say no. That was more than many young noble girls got. But Kalasin had agreed. She knew the importance of an alliance with Carthak, and if Kaddar truly was kind she was unlikely to get a better offer. At least he wasn't some stuffy old Tyran noble who already had three wives.
That didn't mean she had to like it. She missed her home and family already. She missed the palace, with all its passageways and her expert knowledge of them. She missed her friends, and her younger sister Lianne. Even if they had fought a lot.
Her mother, Queen Thayet the Peerless, had taught Kalasin a song that she, Thayet, had loved when she was little. Thayet too had left her home and family, though admittedly in different circumstances. Checking to see that nobody was watching, Kalasin began to sing.
Who can sail without the wind
The wind was like a gentle caress on her back and hair, but that only made her lonelier.
Without oars, who can row
Her family wasn't on the ship – they would come in time for the wedding, but there was business in Tortall that had to come first. Roald and Shinkokami's betrothal progress wasn't over yet, and (as her parents had said when they thought Kalasin was out of earshot) it wouldn't do for Kalasin's betrothal to upstage Roald's. Kalasin's time would come.
Who can sail far away from friends without the tears that flow
For now, Oranie of Mindelan was on the ship with her, as were a few other nobles and a proper royal guard. Oranie was one of Kalasin's close friends, and her sister was the second girl page – squire, now. The squire that she had wanted to be, that her father had not let her become. The bitterness came rushing back.
I can sail without the wind
Kalasin shook her head to rid herself of such thoughts. She was a grown woman now. She didn't need anyone to hold her hand as she stepped into her new life, and she had loved her life at home even without having been a page. If she hadn't loved it, it wouldn't have been so hard to leave.
Without oars, I can row
The girl turned away from the stearn and walked quickly towards the prow of the boat. Carefully, again checking to see that nobody was watching, She began to climb out onto the very tip. If she fell, several people would have her head. So she just wouldn't fall. Where the wind had caressed her before, sheltered by structures and cabins, it whipped her now, stringing her loose hair across her face and shoulders so she could barely see.
But I cannot sail far away from friends without the tears that flow
It was hard. Kalasin knew that already. She had spent a fair amount of time mourning the (relatively) carefree life she was losing. But there would be good times ahead, because you could love anyplace – or anyone – you put a mind to. She would make new friends, and eventually start a family of her own. Maybe she could even help change her new country for the better. Carthak was now an adventure instead of a punishment, and Kalasin would meet it with a good heart.
She let a few more tears slide silently into the deep Emerald Sea below, then uttered the K'miri war cry that Onua had taught her. If the nobles were woken from their naps, then too bad for them. Kalasin of Conté was going to her new home. It needed celebration.
A/N: What do you think? I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Narm's Boreas, Mage of Dragons, Lady Knight 1512, Tammy P RoCKs, and WildPixieChild for reviewing Sweet Sixteen and/or I See You In My Dreams, my two D/N fics. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it – those reviews made my day! I'm working on a third D/N fic taking place after RotG, but it's not coming along very well.
Narm's Boreas (about Dreams): You're probably right. Numair's the "vain" one, and Daine's the one who always has straw in her hair. But oh well.
Also, does anyone know where I could find a beta? This fic, and my others, are all edited by me. But since I wrote them I'm not the most effective person to edit them.
Sorry about having such a long author's note at the beginning and end. Would you please forgive me and review anyways? Thanks so much!
Lunaterra