Shallow Well
by SlwMtionDaylite
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing. Paramount, et al. own all. I really wish they would let me borrow Spock for a while though.
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Spock/Uhura (sorta)
Word Count: 344
Spoilers: A kind of 'companion' piece of and takes place during "What Feels Right"
Summary: She wanted to hate him...She couldn't...But she could resent him.
Written for the Spock/Uhura LJ community prompt "resentment".
He didn't see her. Or at least, she didn't think he did. She hoped he didn't. Because the alternative was that he was point-blank ignoring her and the thought of that hurt.
They had not been alone since that day he confronted her in the mess hall of the Enterprise. Perhaps 'confronted' was a bit unfair, a bit too harsh. She knew that he did not want to leave her for the new Vulcan colony. He had told her as much.
And she'd never known him to lie.
Now she was in the hangar, helping the remaining Vulcans locate their correct shuttles and doing whatever else that required her talents as a xenolinguist. She had been eager to help out in whatever way she could. She had hoped that working would take her mind off the fact that her heart was breaking inside.
And it was.
Until she saw him.
He had approached his father. She heard him inform the Ambassador that he needed to speak to him and then suggested that they go on a walk.
He seemed so calm, so collected, so…over it.
She wanted to hate him.
How dare he appear so unaffected by what occurred in the mess hall when she felt herself struggling for each breath.
But...her logical side – and she did have a logical side – told her that was not true.
She knew he was hiding his pain. Covering it up with Vulcan logic and serenity. Just as he had attempted to do when his mother was taken prematurely from him and his home planet was destroyed. Until Kirk viciously and unapologetically tore down the carefully constructed walls that shielded his mind from overwhelming grief and anger.
No, she couldn't hate him. She loved him too much to ever hate him.
But she could resent him.
She could allow herself to resent that damned insufferable Vulcan talent for hiding emotions so easily, so deeply.
She wished she could shove her pain inside a deep well in the confines of her mind.
She wished she could.
But she couldn't.
END