A/N: Ahhhahahhhaha….I'm not sure about this. Not sure at all. But here it is. My next Blackwater (Jacob x Leah) sort of—for an explanation of my take on the whole Leah-Jacob-Nessie dynamic see my other Twilight one-shot Breathe Again, it's in the Author's note. Anyway, enjoy! R&R! Thanks! –Mac
Disclaimer:
I don't own
Twilight.
Voice Of Another
Leah was in the process of hanging a small painting across from her bed when a loud knock sounded from her front door. She dropped the nail she had been about to hammer in as the sound startled her. She cursed under her breath and left the hammer on the ground by the painting before leaving her room to see who was disturbing her Sunday evening. She crossed her living room to her front door and pulled it open. The action revealed to her an obviously distressed Jacob Black, who was muttering to himself as he stared down at his feet.
Leah had witnessed a change in Jacob over the past couple weeks. It had been odd to see him start looking so stressed when he had been nothing but ecstatic since they followed the Cullens to this town nearly a year before. Leah had depended on her friendship with Jacob to keep her going in this new place. Now he seemed to be sinking into himself. His eyes had gone cold. She had no idea what the reason for this change was, since she hadn't spoken to him in a number of days—she did her best to avoid the new Cullen house, and he had spent much of his time there. She had only seen him grow distressed—all of this seeming to culminate with his arrival on her doorstep.
Jacob finally looked up and met her eyes. She gestured him inside and he walked in without a word. He instantly began to pace the length of her living room floor. He was still muttering under his breath and every so often he would reach up a hand to rub across his face. Leah frowned as she watched him. She had never seen him this disturbed before.
"Jacob, what's wrong?" Leah finally asked.
"She never talks to me," Jacob answered immediately, his voice loud. "I'm with her all day, nearly every day…and not even two words to me. It's all moving pictures in my head and it's driving me insane!" He ran both hands through his hair, leaving it sticking up in every direction and messier than when he walked in. "For the last few days I've been in hell…not one other person has spoken to me in five days. I haven't seen you. The Cullens, even Bella, have been involved in their own lives or are gone hunting. And she…She doesn't speak to me…ever!"
Jacob threw his hands in the air in frustration and Leah rushed forward, "Jacob, look at me. I'm here. I'll talk to you. Come here, sit down. I'll talk to you."
Leah gently took his arm and led him over to her couch. She sat down and patted the seat next to her as a gesture for him to sit. Jacob slumped down next to her, surprising her with how close he chose to sit. When he rested his head on her shoulder, she was even more stunned, but she didn't show it. Jacob let out a sigh and pressed close to her.
"Please," Jacob prompted.
"What do you want me to talk about?" Leah asked, naturally letting her arms fall around him, holding him.
"Anything," Jacob murmured. "I just need to hear your voice."
"Well, I went to the store today, bought some paintings to put up on my walls. This place needed something. The white walls were making me feel—" Leah began to talk.
"Like you were going crazy?" Jacob chuckled and she could feel the vibration through her body.
Leah smiled, "Exactly. I'm thinking about painting the place a brighter color."
"I could help you if you want," Jacob offered.
"That would be nice," Leah agreed. "What color do you think?"
"Yellow," Jacob replied after a moment of consideration.
"Why yellow?" Leah questioned.
"Yellow inspires happiness. You could us a little more happiness in your life," Jacob answered.
"We both could," Leah whispered.
"Yeah," Jacob responded. "But honestly, paint a room yellow and try not to be happy when you're in there. It's next to impossible."
Leah laughed lightly, "I'll take that into consideration when I go to choose colors."
"Mmhmm," Jacob murmured, "Do you like it here?"
"This apartment or this place?" Leah needed clarification.
"This place. I know you only ended up here, because I did. Because if you leaving La Push and Forks behind was just about getting away, you could have gone anywhere…somewhere sunny all the time…" Jacob explained. "Do you regret tagging along with me?"
"No, Jacob," Leah shook her head, "I don't find seeing so much of the Cullens very pleasant…but if I had gone someplace sunny I would have been all on my own. I needed to get away from the memories back home, but I didn't want to be alone."
"I wouldn't want to be alone either," Jacob nodded slightly, shaking her shoulder.
"And I like it here. I've got this nice little apartment. I got that job down in town. I'm happier than I was in La Push. And you're here…" Leah trailed off.
Jacob sat up to look her in the eyes, "I'm glad you're here too…"
Suddenly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Stunned by the sudden kiss, Leah pulled away and jumped off the couch. She took a few steps back, keeping her eyes on Jacob as she created distance between them. She was very aware of every slight movement he made.
"Tell me she doesn't kiss you either. Tell me that's the reason you just did that," Leah babbled quickly, with her eyes still wide in surprise.
Jacob was on his feet quicker than she could react. As he moved closer, she took more steps backwards and put her hands up in front of her to prevent him from coming any closer. He stopped moving and glanced down at her outstretched hands.
"And if that's not true?"
"Then I have no idea why that just happened," Leah answered simply.
"I wanted to thank you for this," Jacob shrugged.
"The words would have been fine. Or a card. You could have got me a card. You know maybe one that made sound or something, those are real popular right now," Leah rambled. "You didn't have to…why would you kiss me?"
"Maybe I wanted to," Jacob responded.
"How could you want to?" Leah cried out, "Don't you have a little girlfriend back home? Try hiding this from Edward. See if he even let's you see his daughter again."
Jacob winced, "She's not my little girlfriend. You know that. And he couldn't keep me from her…"
"I don't want to talk about the half breed," Leah hissed. "I want to know why you would do something like you just did. Why would you do that to me? You know what everything with Sam did to me. How could you mess with my emotions like that?"
"I wasn't trying to…" Jacob stated.
"Was it supposed to be just one time? One taste before you went back to your precious Nessie? God, Jacob. I try to do one nice thing for you and you go and ruin it…" Leah trailed off.
"I'm sorry," Jacob murmured. "I've been craving a kind of human connection that I haven't been getting from Nessie…and for the last few years, you've always been right there, I couldn't help but develop feelings."
Leah sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Jacob was right in front of her. She sucked in a deep breath. "We really are tragic, aren't we? We can't survive without the torment of a love triangle. But I'm not you Jacob and I'm not the girl I was before…I won't pine over someone I can't have. You imprinted on her…you belong with her. So do all of us a favor and let whatever feelings you believe you have for me go. Let me go."
"I don't…"
"Don't tell me you don't want to. Because you know eventually the pull she has over you will overpower anything you feel for me. I know it too well." Leah cut him off. When he didn't respond, she moved to her door and opened it for him. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here…but only as a friend."
Jacob started to walk out, whispering, "Thank you."
"And perhaps," Leah called after him. "You could tell her that showing you isn't enough by itself…that you would like to hear it as well once and awhile. If she knew, she would do anything for you, just as you would for her."
"I would for you too, you know," Jacob replied.
Leah nodded, "As I would for you, which is why I am making you do this now. You know you have to, but maybe you needed the voice of another to make you."
