This is just a crossover drabble between Lord of the Rings and Sherlock. It is for humour and entertainment only, not even remotely serious :) and I am also sure it has probably been done, but oh well ;) I haven't meant to copy from anyone, so if I have, I am sorry.
PS I don't own anything you recognize, nothing.
Enjoy.
Everyone was freaking out. They were finally there, there to reclaim their home, their riches, their mountain. Bilbo had already entered to sneak around the dragon and find its weakness, and the 13 dwarves and 1 wizard were waiting for his return.
A roar made them all freeze and rush forward into the hall, regardless of the consequences. Swords were unsheathed, axes were readied, weapons bared, war cries growing in their throats.
Only they all stopped, and stared at the sight in front of them.
"Bilbo?" Gandalf called out, a little hesitantly.
The dragon lifted his head to stare at them, then let it drop back down onto the gold acting as its cushion. "Your friends?" his voice rumbled, surprising them all.
"Gandalf! Up here!" BIlbo called.
From where he was standing.
On top of the dragon.
On top of the dragon's stomach.
"What are you doing?" Thorin screamed, staring up at the hobbit in fear, shock and confusion.
"What? Oh, right!" Bilbo glanced at the dragon, then jumped off his stomach, sliding down his side and landing lightly on his feet. "Sorry, I found his weakness." Bilbo grinned at his quest mates.
"Clearly." Gandalf commented dryly.
"I made him tea and gave him a puff on my pipe. Now he is just like a big kitty." Bilbo explained.
"I do prefer you refrain from comparing me to a household pet, I am clearly more than your average feline." Smaug interrupted snobbishly.
"Right, yeah sure, whatever. Anyway, we're just finishing this cuppa, then he'll leave, giving you your mountain back." Bilbo told the shocked group.
"How on earth did you convince him to do that?" Filli demanded.
"I'm moving in with him. He moved here because he needed a flat mate, so I'll move back with him, and we're all happy." Bilbo shrugged.
"Flat mate?"
"Move in?"
"What?"
The dwarves all spoke at once, asking questions and demanding answers.
The dragon rolled over and stood up.
Everyone fell silent.
"My god you are all so tedious and boring." Smaug groaned.
"Be nice." Blbo scolded.
"Please, my dear hobbit, we have a case to attend to." Smaug gestured to the door with his head.
"I'm just saying goodbye." Bilbo rolled his eyes. Smaug huffed, and stalked out of the door, climbing overt the gold.
"Bilbo?" Gandalf asked.
"I'm sorry Gandalf, I've got to go." Bilbo offer as an apology.
"Bilbo?" the dwarves repeated.
"Bilbo! It'll be dangerous!" Smaug yelled from the open door.
Bilbo grinned at the party of dwarves and wizard, then ran out after the dragon. Just as he reached the door, a tail sweeped in, wrapped gently around the hobbit's waist and carried him out carefully, allowing the hobbit to twist and wave goodbye.
Silence echoed in the hall."Did we just get dumped by a hobbit for a dragon?" Thorin asked.
"I believe so." Gandalf frowned.
The End :D