A/N: So, I've been listening to some new music lately and it has inspired this story. It's been running around in my head for about a week and I just couldn't rid my brain of it so I had to write it down. "Right Here Waiting" and "Take it Out on Me" are on hiatus for the moment as I am trying to find my muse for both stories. I hate to start another one with two unfinished pieces out there but I had to get this out. I hope you guys give this a chance and if you don't like it I will take it down, I just wanted to share. I love reviews, hearing from you guys makes me want to write more, so please let me know what you think. I own nothing but my OC's Olivia, Caroline and Kendra. Everything else belongs to the genius, Mr. Sutter himself.

Chapter 1: Where I'm From

I was gone. Just like that, I watched the only home I had ever known disappear in the rearview mirror. As I passed the "Leaving Charming" sign I could only sigh, this was it. I was moving away and moving on with my life. 27 years old seemed kind of late in life to be restarting, but there was nothing left here for me.

My parents had orphaned us when I was just 13, leaving me, as the oldest of three, to take care of my younger sisters in the best way I could, with the help of "Aunt Gemma and Uncle Clay".

Now they were grown up and on their own, Olivia living in L.A. pursing her fashion career and Caroline living with Olivia and attending UCLA studying medicine. I was the only one stupid enough to stay behind in the house we all grew up in and now I couldn't get out fast enough.

My life was a mess, to say the least. The only steady job I could hold around town was as a secretary at the garage, and that was solely because it belonged to Clay and Gemma. My parents had been close with our un-biological Aunt and Uncle before they died. Dad, Don, was one of the founding members of the local motorcycle club Sons of Anarchy and mom, Sarah, was one of Gemma's closest friends. The two were gunned down while out for a bike ride. The police never were able to identify the culprits but Clay gave me his word that he had tracked down the shooters and "taken care of it". After they were gone life was tough. I always had to be the strong one for Olivia and Caroline and I left my life in shambles to make theirs the best I could.

My mind floated back to just a couple days ago, standing on the T-M lot when I broke the news to Gemma I was leaving. "I have to get out of this shit hole, Gem. I can't stay here any longer and watch my life crumble day by day."

"He'll pull his head out of his ass, sweetheart. Just give him a chance." She was trying any angle she could to get me to stay. She knew he was my weakness, always has been, but it wouldn't work this time. I couldn't let it if I wanted to get control of my life.

"It's not because of him, well not just because of him anyway." I lied, it was mostly because of him. "This town is sucking my soul dry and I can't just sit by and watch it go anymore. I want more out of life then sitting here, faking smiles for assholes who think I'm just some SAMCRO bimbo because I work with them. Olivia and Caroline are letting me crash with them for a while until I figure out what I'm going to do and I think it's the best choice for now."

I couldn't just sit by and watch him from a distance. We had done our dance, more than once, and the final one ended abruptly when he found out his soon-to-be ex-wife was pregnant. I was in love with him, had been since the day I discovered boys didn't really have cooties. It didn't help that we were always around each other. I knew him better then I knew myself sometimes.

We rendezvoused in high school before he had fallen for the dark haired devil who only crushed his soul in the end and again more recently before he went off the deep end and married that crank whore Wendy. I couldn't let him just come to me when he was lonely, before the next best thing came along. He knew I was a sucker for his charm and he used that to his advantage.

"You're sure this is what's best, Kendra? It's going to leave quite the hole around here." I nodded in her direction, but with one eyebrow raised she gave me her famous "Gemma" look and I knew she was concocting something in that fucked up head of hers.

Mile-marker 298 caught my eye and brought me back to reality, I had a long 5 hours ahead of me at this rate. Deep down I didn't want to leave, this was all I had ever known, but there was nothing left for me in Charming.

Jax flew into the lot on his Dyna. He needed to talk to his mother, now. He had gone by Kendra's house and the place looked like a ghost town. He was able to jimmy the door open, only to find everything gone except for the furniture. Closet's, dressers, everything was empty. Fear pulsed through his veins.

"Ma!" He yelled out towards the office as he marched in that direction.

"What's wrong, baby?" She noticed the panicked look on his face as she met him in the doorway.

"Where's Kendra? I went by her house and everything's gone. Is she alright?" He ran a hand through his long blonde hair.

Gemma wasn't sure how to break this to him. She actually was a little surprised that Kendra hadn't at least said goodbye to Jax. All the shit going on with Wendy using again while carrying his baby, she knew this news would send him into a tailspin, but it was too late to back away from it now with him standing in front of her waiting impatiently for an answer.

"She packed up and left. Headed for L.A. to stay with Liv and Caroline for a while. Gave me some bullshit line about having to get out of Charming and start over."

And that was all it took. She saw the sadness flash through his blue eyes briefly before they hardened over.

He had no words. One of his best friends was gone and hadn't even had the decency to say goodbye to him. How could she just up and leave without even telling him she was going.

He turned on his heel, trudged out of the office and headed straight for the clubhouse. His life seemed to be falling apart at the seams and he had no one to talk to about it. His reality check was gone. He didn't always treat her the way she deserved, but he always knew she would be there for him or so he thought.

He knew she was in love with him, she had even confessed it to him a couple times while they were drunk. They had slept together a few times, but he never thought of her more than just his best friend, well besides Opie. He had known marrying Wendy had crushed her, she distanced herself from him after that.

But now, she was totally gone and he didn't know what to do with himself. It was like a part of him was gone too. He had taken her for granted, taken their friendship for granted. The shit with Tara almost took his sanity, but Kendra knew just how to bring him back to reality, but now this shit with Wendy, the drugs and with him about to become a father, was almost too much for him to handle. He was alone.

I looked down at my phone, it was ringing for what seemed like the hundredth time in a row. I recognized the number even though I had already deleted his name from my contacts. He always used the same burner when he called me. I pressed ignore again. I figured he had seen Gemma and she had shared the news of my departure by now.

I had nothing to say to him though. I had purposely not told him or said goodbye because I knew if I saw him and he asked me to stay, I would without hesitation.

He didn't want me, he made it pretty obvious. I was just there to get him from one heart break to the next. I felt my phone vibrate on my thigh. I took my eyes off the road, noticing I had a new text. "Please answer me."

I thought about what he was probably going through right now. Gemma strategically informed me before I took off that Jax found out Wendy was using again. I felt horrible for both Jax and his unborn child. I knew he was probably headed for the ledge again, but I couldn't be that rope pulling him back to safety, yet again. It was dragging me down in the process every single time.

Gemma had always prophesied that we would end up together and reign as the new king and queen of SAMCRO someday. I tried to hold onto that pipe dream, but every time I witnessed him using his famous "darlin'" on some sweet-butt, or flashing his blue eyes at someone else, a part of me crumbled. I tried to convince everyone, including myself, that I was leaving to better myself and start a new life, but in reality I left because I couldn't watch Jax love everyone else but me.

For a brief second I contemplated texting him back, but I knew it would just drag me back down that rabbit hole. I shut my phone off, choosing to ignore what my heart was telling me, and pulled into the first parking spot I could find in the large apartment complex that my sisters occupied. I didn't feel like hauling all my shit up three flights of stairs at this hour, so I grabbed the one bag I knew had a change of clothes in it, and headed for apartment 308B.

"We're so glad you're here, Ken. Just wish it didn't take you this long to realize you needed out of that town and away from him." Liv handed me a plate with a slice of cheese pizza on it. I just wanted to change the subject. My entire 5 hour ride had been focused on memories of him. The more I thought about Jax, the more it made me want to run back to where he was. I just shot her a timid smile and took a bite of my pizza.

"What did he say when you told him you were leaving?" Caroline was always the nosey one and usually I didn't mind but talking about this was not the first thing I wanted to do when I got here. "I didn't tell him." I brushed it off like it was nothing, but the look of shock on both my sisters faces indicated this conversation was far from over.

"You didn't tell him you were leaving? You didn't even say goodbye?" they both chimed in in unison. I had no idea this topic was so interesting to them. They had known the saga, but never seemed to take too much of an interest in it, other than making sure I knew they wanted me away from him after he had done so much damage to me.

"No. I just told Gemma, obviously. And, judging by the missed phone calls and texts, I'm sure she told him by now." I finished off the crust of my first slice and reached for another one, this was the first food I had eaten all day and I didn't realize how hungry I really was.

"Do you think he'll come looking for you? Does Gemma know you came here?" My God, these girls were insatiable. "Yes, she knows and I'm sure she made that known to him, but I know he won't come here. He has his own life, he won't be trying to fix mine too."

Liv and Caroline agreed and finally dropped the subject. Luckily, they had a three bedroom apartment and I was able to retreat from them and their interrogation in order to get some rest. That is if my brain would let me forget about his blonde hair and blue eyes for one night.

A/N: Sorry for another note, I just wanted to add that, obviously, this is a Jax story. Tara was in the picture when they were in high school but has since gone off to Chicago and will not play a huge role in this story. The timeline begins a bit before season 1 started and may follow some of the storyline but not quite to a "T". Let me know what you guys think, pretty please!