The bath was spotlessly clean, the entire room was, for that matter. While there was no question regarding the age of the room, there was a beauty about it, too. It had a quaint, almost old time charm. The toilet was white with a tank bolted high on the wall above it, a long chain flush with a mahogany handle hanging neatly to the side. The tub was a beautiful claw footed monster of a bath with rolled edges and a high top. It was like something from a museum or a movie, so perfect in its design. Any other time, Elizabeth would have been beside herself with joy at the prospect of bathing in such a luxurious bath, of being in such an expensive and old bathroom but now, she was almost beside herself with fear and grief.
"Get in the bath, sweetheart" Luda Mae ordered, folding a fluffy, pristine looking towel over an ornate and old radiator.
"Please-" Elizabeth begged, shaking her head but the woman was unmoved.
With a disappointed sigh, Luda Mae easily unzipped the long dress, using a little more force than was needed. The zip met its end and briefly jerked the material of the dress downwards, cutting at her neck, propelling a jump from the trembling woman.
She shivered as the chill from the room met the flesh of her back.
She jerked her body a little, not sure why, just acting on instinct. She wanted to duck away from the woman, to run to the door but her legs were stiff, the muscles tight and sore. It made sense. She had run more in this one horrid day than she had ever done in her life. She ended up twitching, stumbling pathetically.
She'd been stationary for too long, her legs had seized up.
"Now honey, I'm just an old woman" Luda Mae tutted, aged hands resting on Elizabeth's shoulders, keeping her in place, fingers rubbing against the now loose fabric, "Lord knows I can't make you get in the tub but I think it's much better if you listen to me, hmm?" her voice was all sweetness, "less embarassin' for you, like...why, we're both girls..."
Eyes welling at the threat, Elizabeth shivered again.
Let Luda Mae clean her or be forced into the tub by one of the men in the house.
Maybe even Tommy himself?
The old woman moved her hands minutely, leaving them to hover close the their previous position.
Nodding shakily, Elizabeth moved her shoulders back a little, despite the roaring pain blooming across them at the motion, and let the fabric of the sleeves fall down to her wrists.
She didn't want it, she didn't want that.
She didn't want to have their hands, their eyes on her.
Anything but them...
"You know, it's actually real nice that you're shy" Luda Mae said, and Elizabeth could feel the smile on the woman's lips. The chill of the room met her fully now, as she allowed the torn, stained peasant dress to pool at her feet.
It was Chrissie's dress, loaned to her as a gesture of kindness.
Where was she?
As Elizabeth felt the old woman's fingers brushing the back of her bra, she awkwardly reached behind her with shaky hands and removed it herself, the act feeling far too personal, too intimate despite her current state of undress.
She could feel the trail of fat tears dancing down her cheeks, the thickness of snot on her upper lip, her chest hurt so much and her throat felt tight.
"You a virgin, hunny?"
Elizabeth choked a broken sob at the question, pure fear washing over her.
She collapsed to the floor, legs burning in protest as he knees gave way.
How could this be happening?
How could this be happening? How could it be real?
"Well, aren't you a dream?" Luda Mae trilled happily, Elizabeth's fear filled reaction giving her all the answer she needed.
"Please-" Elizabeth began to beg once more but she was shushed by the woman.
"No more of that, dear. Get in the tub"
She could feel the dress under her skin, protecting her from the coldness of the tiled floor.
She felt the old woman's hands on her back, gentle and soft, but her voice was hard, "get in the damn tub, I will not have you sobbing over your hymen. Its a precious thing, to be with one man. You're lucky"
"God.." Elizabeth sobbed.
How could this be real?
"Never take the Lord's name in vain. Now. I will not ask you again. Get in that damn bath or I will start hollerin'" Luda Mae growled.
Shedding her underwear with clumsy speed, Elizabeth lurched towards the tub before lowering herself in.
Anything but the men...
Luda Mae's actions were both motherly and monstrous, flipping between being sweet and caring and dark, threatening.
She wasn't a stable woman.
The water was hot, almost painfully so.
It would burn, wash away the day.
Luda Mae worked with an almost brutal efficiency; brushing the tangles and knots from Elizabeth's hair with experience, holding down the roots as she tugged at the matted lengths. She scrubbed her scalp with an anonymous but floral fragrance, hummed as she scrubbed at Elizabeth's arms, legs and chest until the skin was tingling and red.
The water turned a murky, foamy kind of beige as a days worth of sweat, blood and dirt was scrubbed away.
Elizabeth submitted to it all in silence, suddenly too tired and drained to sob or cry. It was almost as if the warm bath had sucked the fight from her, deadened the crushing fear she'd felt.
She felt like a zombie.
She lifted her arms when she was told, moved her head as instructed. She listened dully to Luda Mae's cooing, which was almost as scary as her threats but not as terrible as the talk about her virginity, "let's take off this silly makeup", "you look like a panda honey...", and "I ain't never had me a daughter"
She didn't know how long she'd been sat there, there were no clocks in the room and no movement or sound throughout the house.
Just her and Luda Mae.
It was as if time stood still.
She only realized some time really had passed by the hardening of her nipples and the goosebumps covering her skin; the water was cold.
Curling into herself a little, the slurping sound of the plug being pulled filled her ears.
The water immediately began to drain.
"Get on up" Luda Mae ordered, watching as the shivering girl did as she was told, "that's a good girl. Now let's just dry you off..."
The old woman took her time in rubbing Elizabeth's bruised and sore body with the towel, being gentle around her face and crotch and a little more rough around the armpits and her hair. The bruises across her shins were already a deep and blooming purple, as were the full bruises covering her knuckles but Elizabeth couldn't believe how white the towel still was.
Streaks of blood decorated it but it felt wrong.
She thought there should be more. She felt like there should be more blood.
If she wasn't cut up that bad...
Whose blood had she been coated in?
"Please don't hurt me" Elizabeth whispered, another lone tear dropping from her swollen eyes, images of blood and knives and hammers dancing before her eyes.
"Why, I'm dressing you" Luda Mae said matter of factly, slipping a pair of pristine white underwear up Elizabeth's trembling legs. Elizabeth didn't even remember lifting her feet into the holes. The underwear was conservative, resting at Elizabeth's belly button and covering the entirety of her bottom.
The bra was also fresh, white and conservative with thick straps and thick but simple cups. It was so motherly, so caring and almost reverent, the way she was being dressed and more tears fell from Elizabeth's eyes.
Would they ever stop?
The dress Luda Mae had chosen for her was an old fashioned night gown: white like the underwear but looser, with embroidered sleeves and a high neck. It buttoned up at the back. She hated how it felt around her neck, it was close and tight, like a curled hand pressing against her wind pipe.
"Pretty as a picture" Luda Mae mused "you need a wee?"
Elizabeth shook her head.
"Shit?"
She shook her head again.
"Well let's get your teeth all brushed up, huh?"
As another tear fell down Elizabeth's face, Luda Mae produced a long package from under the sink. Elizabeth's lips trembled when she saw how well stocked the cupboard was.
Horribly well stocked.
"We're not the first people..." she sobbed, her voice cracking.
"Mhmm" Luda Mae agreed, discarding the cardboard package and squeezing a liberal amount of white and blue paste onto the shiny bristles.
"Three minutes" Luda Mae stated, holding the brush out to the young woman.
It was the longest three minutes of Elizabeth's life. She brushed as she was told but it was sloppy, messy due to the fear. Her hands where shaking, her jaw trembling. Her mouth was both dry and disgustingly wet. Her stomach was rolling, her head pounding, her eyes stinging.
Luda Mae watched her with a close intensity.
As Elizabeth spat the foamy paste into the sink upon the old woman's command, she shakily turned on the tap, watching as it was all washed away.
"Good girl" Luda Mae praised, as if Elizabeth was a well trained dog.
"Please-"
"That's getting boring, sugar. Now drink this" the old woman held out a small glass, it was chipped and once upon a time may have been quite ornate.
The contents were white and chalky, even from the small distance Elizabeth could see powder twirling in the depths of the water.
Elizabeth shook her head.
"It's gonna help you sleep"
"Sleep?" Elizabeth croaked.
"It's bedtime. All good girls have a bedtime"
Elizabeth shook her head, the tears pouring freely once again. She'd followed all the orders she'd been given because she was afraid. She was ashamed of it, but she was afraid of being forced into the tub by the men. She didn't want them touching her, seeing her.
She was dressed now.
Could she? Could she do it? She glanced at the door behind the old woman but Luda Mae didn't seem perturbed in the slightest, "you wouldn't hit an old woman?"
"Please!"
"Tommy would have to punish you...now now don't make that face, he wouldn't hurt you, hurt you. No, sweetie. I'm his momma and he'd have to correct you, if you lashed out at me. He's a good boy like that..but it would be your friends" her grin became wider at the girl's sob, "oh yes. They would suffer terribly. Three out of four are alive...you mind me, sweetie. You take this drink and all four of you'll be able to lunch together tomorrow..."
Elizabeth couldn't hold back the tears as she reached for the glass, some of the liquid spilled over her white fingers and purple knuckles and Luda Mae tutted softly, helping her steady herself.
"All in one, there we go" she cooed, wiping at Elizabeth's chin as she pulled away the empty glass.
Elizabeth wanted to wretch.
"It'll be so much easier for you, if you don't fight it" Luda Mae advised, placing the glass on beside the sink and moving to collect some paper from beside the toilet.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You were filthy"
Crying, Elizabeth shook her head.
"Why?"
The woman smiled and reached out with the tissue, dabbing softly at the tears and blotchy red skin. Elizabeth moved to swipe at her arms, but they felt oddly heavy and Luda Mae batted them back down easily before dabbing at the snot and tears once again lining Elizabeth's lips.
With a smile, Luda Mae ambled to the toilet and flushed the damp tissue.
A wave of nausea smashed into Elizabeth and she stumbled, hip hitting the corner of the sink.
"Last chance for the toilet" Luda Mae drawled, slowly guiding the pale woman towards the door, away from the sink that had added a new bruise to her battered body.
Elizabeth shook her head, or at least she tried to.
Suddenly she felt heavy, sluggish as if walking through water. No. Running through water.
She could feel the old woman's hands tight on her arm, could feel how her feet dragged a little against the smooth wooden floor, her toes dragging a little as she walked. She could feel the dampness of her hair as it soaked through the gown but..but everything else was intelligible.
Nothingness.
Shapes and colors and suddenly she was lying down.
Was she? Was she lying down...did the room move?
There was warmth on her side and it took her a while to focus, focus on the changing shape and strange glow.
"You'll...eep he...night..." she could hear the slurring words of Luda Mae as if they were dancing through the air, tuning in and out.
Her eyes felt heavy, her arms limp.
She wanted to touch it, to touch the warm glow but her hand.
It was dead. Gone. Nothing.
There was nothing.
Everything was nothing and nothing was everything.
Luda Mae crouched over the prone figure of the girl and softly fanned her hair out, stretching it long and tall around her head, like a halo.
The fire would dry it nicely.
"Sweet dreams, daughter..." she murmured lovingly, pulling the girl's limp arm away from the softly dancing fire. She draped it gently over her stomach, watching for a second as it rose and fell with each subdued breath, "you didn't scream" she told the slumbering girl, "that's why you're his..." she once more ran her fingers through her halo of hair, "..you saw his face and you didn't scream..such a good girl"