Author's Notes of Awesomeness: Thanks to all who have read and reviewed, I love you all so much! 8D

The Wammy's Boys to Canobie

Part 1: The Journey

Mello waited in the doorway of their suite, black bag slung over his shoulder. He laughed at the sight. His two best friends (and lovers) were quarreling with each other. What a rare sight.

"Matt, I'm not so sure about this. I did extensive research online and found that the rate of deaths at theme parks since 1950 has increased 54.3039278 percent. From 276 a year to 425.148407 a year." It was cute how hard Near was trying to get out of this little trip.

"Um, Near, how can a .148407th of a person die?" Mello smiled. That was a stellar move on Matt's part.

Near twirled a lock of his platinum-white hair, almost expressing annoyance. "It's just a figure Matt. Either way, I do feel that it is too hazardous to go on this excursion."

Knowing Near's personality almost too well, Matt smile mischievously to look at Mello through his bright green goggles. "I say we need Mello's opinion too." Near cringed inwardly. The outcome of adding Mello's thoughts to the mix were painfully obvious.

"Near your figure was just out of the US, right?"

"Yes."

"Well then according to your calculations the chance of one of us, no, any person in the park, of dieing is roughly…" Mello paused to take a bite of chocolate and finish off the math. "0.0009448 percent." Near and Matt gaped in unison at Mello's casual attitude towards the whole thing. "It'll be fun!" Mello smiled in pure glee. This was going to be really, really fun.

Knowing exactly what the other would do, Matt grabbed his DS and a couple of games from a side table while at the same moment, Mello scooped Near up bridle style and followed Matt out the room.

"Mello." Near said, trying to act stubborn. It was pretty hard, since he knew that Mello saw him blushing faintly. "Near, that's enough." Mello said, kissing Near's cute little nose. (Please note, that an elderly couple were leaving their suite also and were highly disturbed by the sight of the blond man prancing around in leather kissing a smaller, seemingly albino man,)

Mello set Near down. "Matt and I have the cardkeys, and personally I think it would be much more entertaining for you to come with us then hang around the hotel lobby all day." Mello had a point.

Now in the parking lot, I'll explain to you where the three are going. Mello, Near, and Matt were leaving the Homewood Suites by Hilton. It was perfect for them since it was quiet and slightly reclusive, sold chocolate bars in the lobby, and had hi-def flatscreens in every room. This particular link of the hotel chain was located in the intrepid city of Portsmouth, New Hampshire. They were leaving for the state renowned theme park of Canobie Lake.

"I call shotgun!" Matt cried as they neared the bright read sports car. He just didn't want to drive so he could play his DS.

Mello shrugged, smiling. He was just happy that they were all together. And that they were going to experience something fun and new. He climbed into the driver's seat, hearing the sound of leather rubbing up against more leather.

Three car doors shut. One was a near slam, one was just regular, and the other was quiet and insecure.

Mello stuck the key in the ignition, revving the engine. "Are we all ready to go?"

"Yep." Matt flicked open his DS unrealistically fast, the electronic sound pouring out loudly. Looking through the mirror, Mello knew Near's silent gaze was confirmation enough.

He pulled out of the parking lot, heading on to the long winding driveway and eventually out onto the main highway. Mello was comforted by the sound of computer-generated whomping sound effects coming from Matt's Crimson and Onyx DS, and Near's silence was to Mello, like a sound.

One Hour Later

It was 9:30 a.m. Half an hour before the park opened. Our favorite trio was sitting idle in the car. Mello was eating a chocolate bar, scanning family's and most likely stupid and ignorant humanoids walking by them. Matt was still heavily engrossed in his DS, apparently battling a crucial boss of sorts. Near was slightly put off that Mello hadn't allowed him to grab some of his Transformers before leaving.

To pass the time, Mello was making up life stories full of secret love affairs and murder to each and every person he saw, including children. Matt was, well, he was playing his DS. And Near had to recall full episodes of Transformers to satisfy his need of Optimus Prime whaling on that idiot Megatron.

Mello stopped himself from continuing the story of that married lady who told her husband she went scuba diving when she was really screwing a French nudist to glance at the car clock. It said 9:52, but it could be off by a minute from this other clock that was 30 seconds fast from this other clock that was 5 minutes slower then this other clock that was two minutes past this other clock, so who in the hell knows what the REAL time is?

"We might as well get in line to enter now." Mello said, pulling the keys out of the ignition. "But I just reached level 34 and Bowser is nearly depleted of all his star power!" Matt was nearly at tears that he couldn't finish the game off.

Mello laid a hand on Matt's shoulder, giving him his trademark seductive melt-in-your-mouth look. "Don't use that look on me…" Matt whispered, afraid of making eye contact with Mello for fear of his lust. He closed his DS reluctantly as Mello played with a bit of his flaming red hair. Matt was a little insecure about Mello getting all pervy in public.

He stepped out of the car awkwardly. Mello smiled to himself, getting out as well. When he saw Near's fluffy white head come in contact with actual sunlight, Mello promptly locked the car. Hearing it beep twice, Mello stuffed the keys in his bag.

They walked towards the entrance that had "Canobie Lake Park 1902" Sprawled across a wooden arch in faded green text. In the line at one of the ticket booths, Near was sub-consciously clinging onto Mello's arm, slightly intimidated by the looming Ferris wheel and the shouts of provoked children. Mello ran his gloved hand comfortingly up and down Near's back, and the boy in white pajamas straightened a little, gaining confidence.

When the progress of the line finally allowed them to purchase their tickets, Matt stepped up, beaming at the obese middle aged woman, who looked to be stoned, and announced proudly, "Three adult tickets please!" The woman lurched, then giggled like a small school-girl, then pouted. "Mae Aw seee yo AwDeeahs pweeze?" She slurred notoriously.

Matt blinked. "Um, what was that?" Matt felt Mello's burning gazing flaming the back of his head, in other words, Mello was not a happy chocoholic. Using his peripherals, Matt noticed Near shaking his head sadly, as if to say, "I knew this wouldn't turn out well."

Sluggishly the ticket woman looked at Matt, although it was kind of distraction since her eyes couldn't focus properly on him.

"Aw saaayed Aw wannnah seee yo AwDeeahs." The woman slurred. Matt simply stood there with his mouth open. Putting a hand coldly on Matt's shoulder, Mello hissed, "I think she wants our IDs."

The ticket woman agreed with Mello. "Yaaah. Yo gay fags in youz fanciee layther an' fuur and fuckin' pajaymaaz bettah' show mee yo AwDeeah o I'llee fuckin' kawwl the sex*hic*curityz."

Ok. How could THAT be legal?!