A/N: Okay hi it's my first fic on this site, so bare with me and I wrote this a long time ago so it might be crap and please if you do critisize please tell me what's wrong and maybe suggest how to fix it. Not just say "this sucks" and leave it at that. This was written before HBP was released so it has no influence. So thanks and enjoy!
Spontaneous Trust
It was a warm and balmy night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The warm welcoming breeze rippled the placid waters of the dark lake. It was a full moon's night, the light of the moon shone down upon the dark turrets of the castle and illuminated every old and cracked roof tile on one of the castle's roofs, including the troubled boy of seventeen sitting down upon it, deep in pondering thought. He continued to stare at the broken reflection of the moon on the lake entranced by its tranquil simplicity. Beside him lay his broom, the Firebolt – the latest gift from his mother. But that was the last gift he would ever receive from his beloved mother. She had died by an unknown cause, but the boy reckoned his father did it. He ran a hand through his pale blonde hair and sighed. "Mother, of all times…why is it now that you choose to leave me?" He heard footsteps approaching.
What on earth? No one comes up here it's the roof for crying out loud! He thought angrily. Why do they always come at the most inconvenient moment?
A girl's silhouette shone against the moon. "M-Malfoy!" The girl cried. In an instant he recognized her voice, this only caused him to anger even more.
"What the hell are you doing here Granger?" He asked her roughly.
"I could ask you the same question." She snapped, clearly she was not in a very good mood.
Defending his vulnerable position he spoke up. "Do us both a favor and get out of my sight." He snapped back. For the sake of being defiant and for the pleasure of angering him even more she did the exact opposite and sat down right next to him.
"What the hell Granger! I told you to sod off now be a good Gryffindor like you are and shove off!"
"No I think I might stay I have no reason nor do I have any incentive to go." She said stubbornly.
"You're as stubborn as a mule! Can't you take a hint? Leave – me – Alone!" He cried. She simply said nothing and gave smiled at his outburst. For once she had the upper hand in an argument with her archenemy. "Fine. If you choose to stay it's a big roof sit somewhere else, must you be so close to me?"
"I'm quite comfortable here thanks. If you can't stand the sight of me then why don't you go?" She said politely.
Refusing to be kicked off his original spot he didn't budge. "I was here first mudblood, finders keepers." He said calmly this time refusing to rise to the bait once more. Slowly, her cheeks flushed red in anger she always hated it when he called her that. She opened her mouth to insult him but then closed, realizing mindless bickering was pointless.
"You're so childish and immature." She said suddenly.
"Sticks and stones mudblood." He turned away and kept on staring at the lake indifferently.
"Stop calling me that... you're such git."
" Well you know what they say Granger, it takes one to know one."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" She cried angrily, her temper rising once more.
"You tell me." He said smoothly. "You're supposed to be the smart one."
That moment she really felt as if she wanted to slap him again but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her anger. She turned away and looked at the scene before her. A few minutes of silence passed. Again Draco was lost in his thoughts and grief over his mother that he had let his guard down. He had almost completely forgotten that Hermione was sitting right next to him. Lost in his own world he calmed down.
Hermione was beginning to grow restless at the uncomfortable silence. She didn't want another row with him. She couldn't help but thinking that where they were sitting was rather picturesque.
"It's really beautiful up here, do you come here often?" Hermione asked out of complete random.
"When I want to be alone. When I want to think." He answered quietly. This response sparked a hidden memory within her.
"I…I heard about your mother." She said hesitantly. She saw his figure tense. "Malfoy are you ok?"
"Why would you care?" He said, keeping his eyes on the lake. His voice sounded tired and resigned.
"Fine if you want to be a prat -"
"You know Criticism is pointless. It makes someone defensive and want to justify himself." Said Draco.
"What?"
"It's also dangerous…it wounds someone's pride, hurts his sense of importance and creates resentment."
By this time Hermione was very taken aback, she was practically rendered speechless. She stopped and surveyed him skeptically. She began to see him in a new light. This was a very different side of him indeed. "You're one to talk about criticism Malfoy." Said Hermione. He chuckled a little and smiled sadly.
"Yeah you're right."
She didn't know what shocked her more, his statement about criticism or the fact that they had actually agreed on something. "You know, that's the first time in the history of the wizarding race that we have actually agreed on something." She said faintly, her voice slightly overcome by disbelief. This time he actually laughed. He smiled again.
"Right again…five points to Gryffindor."
Hermione's cheeks flushed a deep red. She usually did blush when receiving a compliment but, this was from, well, Malfoy. She immediately cursed the moon for enlightening her features in its bright light. She had never seen him smile before…it was very…attractive. Though she would always deny it, she couldn't lie to herself. He was attractive when he was like this.
"Malfoy, are you ok?" She asked timidly. Slowly his head turned sideways to look at her. All animosity and hostility, all their history left no trace in his expression. He looked almost…gentle.
"Why do you ask Granger?"
Hermione thought about her answer for a moment. Why do I ask? Do I actually care? Is this just curiosity? But this is Malfoy. "I – I guess it's because tonight well you're…" She tried to find the word. "…different." She looked down towards the roof tiles at her feet.
"I've never told anyone this before Granger and I have no idea why I am telling you of all people but, I think I'm more myself now than I ever have been. I'm tired, I don't want to fight and quarrelling like our eleven-year-old selves doesn't really solve anything I'm feeling at the moment. "
Hermione remained quiet. 'I'm more myself now than I have ever been.' Those words had struck her deep. Suddenly she felt so confused.
B-But what about all those times…doesn't he hate me? Doesn't he hate…wait this can't be Malfoy. Is this an act? It just has to be an act. The more she thought about it, the more confused she had become. If it is an act…where is his motive? Pure spite can't motivate someone to simply put all the effort into tricking someone like this. Yes, he could hurt and humiliate me but where are our peers? There is no one out here. His mother just died! Someone going through bereavement won't be conniving. I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts. Malfoy is an opportunist but not at a time like this…Unless he's a seer – which I highly doubt – he wouldn't of known the both of us would be here at the exact same place at the exact same time. Perhaps then…he is telling the truth?
She didn't know why but she felt exactly the same. She realized that he brought out her true self and probably the best in her and he didn't even know it. "Malfoy…I don't know why but – I think…that with you, on top of this roof in the middle of night I can be myself."
He looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Well you know what they say, the night is mysterious."
She couldn't help but smile and the weirdest thing was, was that he smiled back. Who would have thought that Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy would be sitting on the roof at midnight smiling at each other? Hermione bent her head low and tucked a stray curl behind her ear.
"Prejudice doesn't show much reason…do you think so?" She asked.
"Well Granger I think prejudice is a belief. It may be wrong or unjustified but the prejudiced believe it. It may not show much reason for others but for the person who is being prejudiced, reason is why they are that way. They may hold grudges and vendettas but that as to be influenced by something. I think prejudice is born from bad experience and blame. It is only human to feel, like how it is only human to hate or to love. It is because we are selfish and conceited that we don't take the time to understand the reason behind things, behind people. That is one of our biggest mistakes. That was my biggest mistake and it is very hard for me to admit it. It has taken me a long time to admit that to myself.
Hate blinds us from the truth. We allow our judgment to immediately influence the way we perceive others. It is like reading a book. The cover may seem uninteresting, the first few chapters may be boring but as you read, the plot slowly unfolds into an intriguing and engaging experience. It's about understanding the full depth of the story. I think that's the key principle to understanding people.
People are prejudiced about things; they believe things. But the key to fully understanding a person is why. Why do they believe it? What has influenced them, what experiences have shaped their character? Granger…you of all people should know that."
"Wow." She said quietly. Then she suddenly realized. He was talking about himself and their relationship. Was it some sort of apology? This really opened her eyes to see the true him. So this was the Malfoy she had never seen. This was the man behind the mask. "Thank you." She said suddenly.
"For what?" He asked, startled.
"For opening my eyes to the real world, no one's actually made me realize all those things you've just said. I realize now that you're completely right. I've been so blinded…I can't believe how I could be so…"
"Don't fret on it, it's in the past. Don't waste your energy regretting something you did or didn't do, it's just a waste. What you should do is focus on the road ahead of you and now that you've realized your mistakes try not to repeat them." He said abruptly. He was mainly talking from experience and regret about his mother and his past life in Hogwarts. He regretted acting like his father because that was the last thing that he wanted to do. He regretted that he hadn't gotten to know his mother as much as he wanted to and, well, now she's dead.
"I don't really see you doing anything, no offence."
"My father's still alive. Remember?"
"Oh…" Suddenly his situation had just occurred to her. "Sorry." He waved it off with a simple hand gesture. They remained quiet for a while. It wasn't an awkward silence but a comfortable one. They simply remained on the roof lost in their own thoughts and enjoying their unusual company.
Hermione stared at the sky looking at the stars. After a few moments she spoke up. "I've never actually taken the chance to look at them…I've never realized how beautiful they are from here. They really are…beautiful." Draco looked up at the stars alongside her.
"Yeah, all the constellations have names and things like…you see that one?" Draco leaned in closer to Hermione and pointed to a group of stars in the sky.
"Where?" She leaned in closer to him to get a better view.
"You see there?" He said circling the stars with his finger. "See those four bright stars close together?" Hermione leaned in closer to him. "They're sort of like in a trapezoid type shape."
"Oh I see it!"
"Yeah, and do you see that line of stars following in a sort of curved line? So it sort of looks like a reptile?"
"Oh yes I see it!"
"Well you see that constellation is called Draco." He said.
Hermione giggled. "Draco…that's coincidence."
"Well anyway that constellation is a Dragon, there are many myths behind it of how it came to be up there. Like the Greek myth of a Dragon guarding a tree or something – sorry I forgot but – yeah that's some Astronomy for you."
Hermione turned sideways and faced him then in turn he faced her also. They looked deep into each other's eyes. Hermione seemed to be lost in the swirling mist of gray, in the depths of his piercing eyes, suddenly darkening in lust.
Draco stared deeply into her eyes. Into her eyes of brown, looking closely he saw how they shone. They seemed to contain another colour like flecks of gold. He could see the innocence and desire behind them and he could only be lustfully attracted.
Unconsciously his hand moved down to rest on the roof. He did not touch the roof but was met with the soft smoothness of her hand. Instantly the both of them were snapped out of their gaze and they both looked down at their hands. His was resting gently on top of hers. It felt so…right. Simultaneously they realized how close they were. They both yanked their hands back and looked away slowly turning red.
"So…" said Draco trying to break the ice. "What lead you up here? Why aren't you with Potter and Weasley?"
Hermione flinched then scowled. "We had an argument."
"Trouble in paradise?"
"They both think I'm being too serious. But it's our NEWTS year. I need to be as serious as I can be."
"I see no problem in being serious…you have every right to be. Its their fault if they don't put in the effort into achieving their goals."
His words suddenly encouraged her to keep talking. "They both think I'm incapable of being spontaneous."
"Ha!" Draco started to laugh.
"What on earth are you laughing at Malfoy?"
"I think slapping me in the third year was spontaneous, I think walking right out of Divination was spontaneous, I think leading Umbridge into the Forbidden Forest was spontaneous, I think sitting on the roof and talking to your mortal-arch-enemy is spontaneous, don't you?"
"Thank you. I feel a lot better…but still…" She faltered.
"But still…?"
"Still they don't think so…and maybe I don't think so either."
"So? Then prove it to yourself." Said Draco suggestively.
"How?"
"Do something spontaneous."
"Up here? Now?"
"Why not?" He said. Hermione gave him a disapproving look. Draco looked around and saw the lake. An idea suddenly sprang to his mind. "Do you feel warm?" He asked.
"Excuse me?" She asked taken aback.
"Do you feel warm?" He repeated. "As in do you think it is hot?"
Hermione fidgeted a little. "Yeah I guess so…I mean well it is a warm night. Warmer than usual I would say."
"Good." He said standing up. He offered her his hand. "Follow me." She took his hand and stood up with him.
"Where are we going?" She asked allowing him to lead her.
"You'll see." Draco mounted his broom and held out his hand.
"What?" asked Hermione, completely confused.
"Come on." He beckoned towards her encouragingly.
"What! N-No! I-I don't fly! I hate heights! I hate flying! That's for Harry, Ron, you…besides…would you want a filthy mudblood riding on your firebolt?"
Draco looked down and hesitated for a moment. "Trust me…I have no intention of letting you fall. Do you want to prove yourself or not?" For some reason, with no questions or queries asked – she trusted him. She had this weird feeling in her stomach, whether it was intuition or instinct or even magic, she just knew she could trust him. She took his warm hand and mounted the firebolt behind him. She wrapped her arms around his torso and shut her eyes tightly.
Draco looked down at her arms in surprise. They were wrapped tightly around him. He fought off the urge to smirk and looked over his shoulder towards her. "Ready?" She nodded her head against his back (her eyes were still very tightly shut.) Quickly he kicked off hard and they both flew right into the air.
Surprisingly the ride ended just as fast as it had started. Draco landed swiftly on the course sand on the shore of the lake. Hermione who hadn't realized that they had landed still held tightly to his well-toned torso.
"Granger?" He asked trying to pry her hands of him. "You're impairing my ability to breathe."
"And?" She squeaked from inside his robes.
"And we've landed." Said Draco finally prying her hands off him.
"Oh…" She said rather sheepishly. She dismounted the broom and with a bit of Draco's help, landed gracefully on the sand. "What on earth are we doing here?" She asked looking around at the lake.
"Don't worry, nothing dangerous." Said Draco, dismounting his broom and walking up next to her. "Before we do this -"
"Do what?" She asked.
"I've never known you ask so many questions. You usually answer all of them."
"Fine…continue."
"Now before we do this I must ask you, do you know how to swim?"
"Of course I know how to- Malfoy no! NO! I'm not going swimming in the lake! It's the middle of the night for heaven's sake!" She cried suddenly.
"Sshh! You'll wake someone." He hushed, rushing towards her with a finger on his lips. "But…" He said, lowering his voice level quite considerably. "…You don't have to swim if you don't want to." He whispered in her ear.
"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked him, a puzzled look came across her features.
"It means -" He said stepping back from her. "That you can swim and prove yourself or you can not swim and live the rest if your days wallowing in your misery wondering: what would of have happened if I took a swim in the lake with Malfoy?"
"Alright, alright I get the point." She said putting her hands up in defeat.
"Does that mean you'll swim?" He asked hopefully.
"NO!" She placed her head in her hands, rubbed her temples and groaned.
"Come on I'll swim if you will." He said unexpectedly, in order to encourage her.
"WHAT!" Her head shot up. "What did you say?"
"I said I'll swim if you will." He said as he took his robe off and laid it on the sand. "Come on what've you got to lose? No one's here anyway…besides me of course." He then started to undo his Slytherin tie.
"I am not about to undress to my knickers and take a dip in the lake with you Malfoy." Hermione folded her arms and huffed.
"Fine. Suit yourself. As for me I need to cool down." He laid his tie on the ground next to his robe and started unbuttoning his white school shirt.
What is going on? Malfoy wants to take a dip in the lake with me? What the hell! He's already undressing! Oh my goodness! But I do need to prove it to myself…I can be spontaneous! Fine I will. But what do I have to lose…? Well nothing really, no one else is out here besides Malfoy. Well he will get to see me in my knickers but…Who's he going to tell? I've got nothing to hide. I trusted him once I can trust him again.
"F-Fine I'll swim." She said. He gave her a smile and took off his shirt. "I -" Hermione stopped short when she saw his bare chest. It was a very nice chest. It was firm and nicely toned just as a seeker's should be. He had broad muscular shoulders and his arms weren't so bad as well. Hermione never knew that Malfoy had very nice abs.
So this is one of the factors why girls go on about him. She thought. Suddenly she began to see the plus side of this little escapade and the plus side to Quidditch. At this moment she thought Malfoy was very…sexy.
"Granger?" He asked as he looked at her oddly. She suddenly snapped back into reality and blushed a deep crimson when she realized she had been caught staring.
"Bloody hormones." She muttered. Hesitantly she unclasped her robe and laid it down next to Malfoy's on the sand. "I can't believe I'm doing this." She sighed audibly. She heard Malfoy laugh at her comment. She turned to look at him he was already taking off his socks and shoes. But to her helpless dismay he had kept his pants on. Whilst in the process of unbuttoning her shirt she heard a splash. Quickly her head snapped in his direction. Malfoy had dived in and was already in the water.
"I can't believe I'm doing this, I cannot believe myself, I've gone mad." Hermione said as she finished taking off her outer garments. She hugged her body tight not used to this kind of exposure. Yes she had worn a bikini before at her cousin's party but that was when she was surrounded by family and friends, not some one whom she had just learned to trust – let alone Malfoy. "I feel so exposed." She said to him from the shore. He turned around to look at her. She saw his eyes widen a fraction and his mouth hang open at her lacy hot pink lingerie.
"Just dive in!" He shouted from the water. "I promise you it's really nice, don't worry ninety percent of your body will be underwater anyway. So if it makes you more comfortable I won't be able to…see you." He said the last part a little uncomfortably. She hesitated a little then climbed on top of a boulder. She had to admit she did feel very liberated, it was a warm night and she did feel as if her robes began to grow too hot and constricting.
Malfoy looked up to here and beckoned her into the water. In one smooth, perfect action Hermione jumped, somersaulted and dived perfectly into the water. When she resurfaced she gasped.
"Bloody Hell! It's cold!"
Draco smiled at her. "I think the term I'd use is refreshing." He said.
"Perhaps."
"Feel accomplished?" He asked. She began to think about it and in many ways yes she did feel as if she had achieved something that night. Never had she thought in her wildest dreams that she would swimming in the lake, in the middle of the night, half naked with a half naked Malfoy swimming right next to her. It was spontaneous.
"Yes, very much so. Thanks Malfoy."
He smirked. "No problem Granger. I think I needed this."
"As much as I needed it?" She started wading around allowing the coolness of the water wash over her warm body.
"Maybe." He swam up next to her. "I needed an escape, I needed something to take my mind off things. Something to make me forget."
"Forget what? Y-You're mother? "
"No, not really. What I want to forget is the future."
Hermione lifted an eyebrow in confusion. Draco sighed and closed his eyes, he had no idea why he was revealing his feelings towards this woman but he did anyway. It was by some unknown, unmistakable connection that they were able to trust.
"With my mother out of the way my father wants to force me to become what he is. He wants me to become a Death Eater and join in the ranks with The Dark Lord. He wants me to be the heir not only to the Malfoy fortune, but also heir to his place in The Dark Lord's inner circle as The Dark Lord's right-hand man." Draco finished talking, staring off into space with a very grave expression on his face.
"Oh…" Said Hermione realizing the amount of pressure and the terrifying prospects of his father's expectations. "Malfoy? Are you…scared?" She asked apprehensively.
"Would you think me a fool if I wasn't?" He said turning towards her, his voice slightly shaken…perhaps she had traced slightest hint of fear in his voice. When she said nothing Draco spoke up again. "I'm terrified Granger, I'm bloody terrified." He admitted bitterly to her this time his voice very shaken. It was if she could feel the terror and dread coming from him.
With these words a spark of sympathy had ignited within her. She swam up closer to him and placed a shaky hand on his cheek. He looked down to her, staring deep into her honey-brown eyes. She herself couldn't believe what she was about to say. "Draco, if there is anything I can do…regardless I am here for you."
They both didn't know what they felt just then. It was as if a tidal wave of indescribable emotions had overcome them. Their heartbeats quickened pace as lust and passion mounted. Slowly, just slowly with every thickly tense moment he leaned in towards her. By some miraculous force she began to lean towards him slowly closing the gap between them. In one intense lasting moment their lips met. Met with such gentleness of a kiss, it was not lustful, eager or hungry but romantically innocent. He kissed her gently as if afraid to scare her off but she was not afraid she felt pleasure in this humble kiss, so she kissed him back. Slowly he lifted his arm from underneath the water and cupped her soft cheek. With the other arm he snaked it around her waist and held on to her ever so lightly. She moved her hand from his cheek and unknowingly it explored his bare chest until it found its way and curled itself around his neck. With the slightest movement she pushed his head down to incline him closer towards her as a sign that she liked what was happening and had no desire for it to cease. Their hearts were beating wildly and rapidly in their chests as they kissed for the few precious moments that they had owned.
After a few moments they parted staring deep into each other's eyes feeling very red in the cheeks and blushing furiously. A moment or two later they had both realized that they were in each other's arms but that didn't bother them. They remained in that position as they smiled at each other. For some reason it didn't feel abnormal, awkward or wrong it felt very…right. No questions asked, this night just felt well and in place.
After a few silent moments Hermione shivered.
"Are you cold?" He asked her speaking for the first time since the kiss.
"A little." She said wrapping her arms around her body for warmth.
"Perhaps we should get out now, before dawn breaks." He swam towards the shore, with Hermione trailing not very far behind him. When they reached the shore they got out their wands and preformed drying spells on themselves.
It was when they had both had almost finished dressing, when they were putting on their shoes, when Hermione had really begun to feel the cold dampness of the early morning. Her teeth began to chatter. "I'm so c-cold!" She chattered.
Draco who had finished dressing in his uniform picked up his Slytherin robe and gave it to her. "Here take this, it's bigger and warmer so you'll be covered up more."
"No I can't take -"
"I insist. Just think of it as…a souvenir, as a memory of tonight." He held out the robe to her. Reluctantly she took it and wrapped it around herself. She took off her own Gryffindor robe and gave it to him.
"As a souvenir." She said, handing it to him. They both smiled and walked off to the castle doors. When they reached the grand oak doors she turned to him.
"Thanks Malfoy, it was a wonderful night." She said.
"Glad to be of service Granger." With that, they pushed the doors open, gave each other one last glance and parted into their separate ways, her to the Gryffindor tower and him to the Slytherin dungeons.
A week later…"…Hermione you're taking this way too seriously NEWTS start in the next six months you can relax for now, I swear you can never be spontaneous." Said Ron as he sat in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Maybe I can't." said Hermione smiling. She got off one of the squishy chairs by the fireplace, walked up to the window and pushed it open. She leaned on the window sill and looked up at the stars and stared at a certain constellation remembering… "Draco…" she whispered reminiscently.
In the background Ron had been going on about how Hermione was way too serious and allergic to fun. But all that didn't matter to her anymore. With unexpected help of an unexpected someone she had proved it to herself and gained something so much more than simple satisfaction and self-justification.
Hermione stared at the shores of the lake smiling. She was thinking about when she would go to bed that night. When she would lie her head down on her soft pillow and be met with the sweet aroma of him coming from underneath her pillow, where a black Hogwarts robe remained folded and neatly hidden. A black Hogwarts robe with the Slytherin emblem emblazoned on its chest. With that underneath her pillow she would dream of a kiss…
She was very glad that she decided to Spontaneously Trust someone.
3/7/05
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