Ch. 1 England
England was walking along the path the the north pole in the middle of June because he is very smart and does not want to freeze to death. It was a bright and sunny day, all was well as he glanced at the flowers all around. There were daisies and sunflowers all along the path and the sun shined brightly. Taking in the serenity of his surroundings, he began to hum to himself. Why he was here and what he was going to do when he got to the north pole? Well that is a very good question that not even England has an answer to.
Suddenly, someone... or something began to hum along with him. England was understandably startled, since no one else was dumb ahem smart enough to go to the north pole on foot, and he shouted a not so clam "WHAT THE FUCK?!". His eyes darted open, and to his surprise it was none other that his ex girlfriend! Staring him down with rage in her eyes, the llama charged toward him making enraged llama sounds.
England's eyes widened in disbelief to how she managed to pass through customs! After all he ditched her in Peru since she was pretty annoying and kept calling at 2am, asking for directions to the pizza place. Apparently she had come back for revenge and was armed with a sharpened sunflower, and charging towards him with rage filled eyes.
Instinctively, England reached down and picked up a mighty sword that just so happened to be there. The sunflower and the sward clashed many times before England's sword was shattered into a million tiny pieces. Backing away, he said "W-wait, l-lets, talk about th-" He was abruptly cut off as a sunflower pierced his heart, followed by the evil laugh of a pink, fluffy, llama. His giant eyebrows furrowed as he winced in pain.
Defeated, he could do nothing but hope she would leave. Which she didn't. Staring down at him she said "bwash hwass bwbqaaw", which is llama for "you are ugly and need to fix your eyebrows". England looked back with a blank expression, unable to speak since he had been stabbed. She proceeded to stab him 46 times with the sunflower and left his body to rot. Knowing she would get away with it because who would suspect a llama of a heinous crime such as this? Sure, her once fluffy pink fur was now stained crimson red with the blood of her enemy. But she could just say she was trying to get highlights but failed miserably.
A/N:
What was I thinking when I wrote this? No idea. I just tried to write the weirdest thing I could possible think of. There will be more weird af one shots to come!
Also, the writing and descriptions are purposely terrible.