Summary: Idk just some random crap again. Ulquihime. Ichihime. Ulquiorra is living in the world of the living and stuff. GrimmjowxYourichi? Haha no jk. Or am I? Read to find out.

Rated T for language. Sorry if it offends you or whatever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the characters or anything else Bleach. All that uncraptastic stuff belongs to Tite Kubo.

"Why do we have to move here?" Szayel whined placing his hand on his hip. Zommari looked at the 25 bedroom house with 14 ½ bathrooms and it was just so freakin big. He looked back at Szayel.

"Boy chu is crazy. Dis house is da shiznits!"

Szayel pursed his lips. "It's too….small. Well compared to Las Noches."

"Szayel it was the biggest place in this ghetto mess called Karakura Town, so hush on up!" Aizen snapped.

"Yes sir."

"Quit bein a goddamned faggot!" Grimmjow shouted pushing Szayel the fuck out of his way. Grimmjow walked into the ridiculously large mansion and ran up to his room. After just 2 flights of stairs he was out of breath. "What the fuck's wrong? Oh…yeah. This half-assed gigai." He said to himself huffing to his room. He landed on his king-sized bed and threw all his shit in the corner. He'd make the ugly ass maid unpack his crap. He had important things to do.

"Maid!" A really fugly thing ran in wearing a maid's uniform.

"Yes?"

"Unpack it."

"Um…what?"

"What?"

"Uh…"

"Bitch, that!" He pointed to his bags.

"Oh yes sir right away!"

Grimmjow dug through his Spiderman back pack and pulled out an old dusty game boy advance.

Later That Day:

Ulquiorra looked to the left then slowly to the right. He looked behind him. The coast was absolutely clear. He stood up and walked over to his CD player. He pressed the power button and You're a Jerk by New Boys started playing. Ulquiorra started jerking like he was born to be a jerker.

"White boy can dance!" Yami shouted.

Ulquiorra quickly stopped and changed the song to Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria.

"What incredulous things are you speaking of now, Yami?" Ulquiorra asked gaining his composure. 'How could I get caught? I was oh so very careful,' he thought.

"Naw lil white homes. Don't you play that shit wit me? I saw you jerkin'." Yami crossed his arms.

"Jerkin'?" Zommari ran in the living room. "Puh-lease that white thang can't dance for shit!"

Ulquiorra scoffed. "I don't have time for this absurdness." Ulquiorra quickly walked away, cursing himself for getting caught. He opened the door and felt a strange sensation take over his whole body. He didn't know what it was but it made him shiver and his teeth chattered wildly. He was cold.

"Ulquiorra!" A female's voice that was rarely heard called out. Ulquiorra snapped his head towards the voice. He had a secret crazy crush on Halibel.

"Um, yes?"

"Aizen said to put on this…coat," she said handing him a strange monstrosity of feathers and other strange material. Ulquiorra slid on the coat and was instantly warm.

"Ah… that's much better. Thank you very much."

She nodded and quickly walked away. Ulquiorra walked on the strange slab of concrete humans called a sidewalk. He was sure not to step on any cracks. Stark told him that if he were to do so, he'd break Aizen's back. Ulquiorra was so scared. It seemed as if everything in the humans' world was dangerous. Every single thing…

Ulquiorra felt something slam into him and next thing he knows he's laying on the ground. 'Was I hit by a so called truck?' He questioned himself. He had no idea what had happened but he knew his nose was in serious pain.

"Uh, omigod Ulquiorra!" A familiar but not so pleasant voice cried out. "Are you okay? I'm so so sorry."

Ulquiorra looked up and saw it was Woman. The one they had captured about last year, before the treaty had been made between Aizen and Yamamoto. Ulquiorra didn't know and never did know her name, so he just referred to her as Woman.

"Yes Woman, I am fine but my nose…it gives me pain."

"It's bleeding Ulquiorra!" Orihime stared at the spots of red on his coat and sidewalk.

"Huh is that so? I must've bumped it on the sidewalk. There are so many dangers in this world."

"Yes there are! There are 270 murders a day, 1872 rapes a day, and aggravated assault, battery, arson, burglary, embezzlement, grand theft, treason, espionage, racketeering, drive by shootings, robbery, kidnapping and fraud happen every single day in the world!"

Ulquiorra's jaw dropped and eyes widened with horror and disbelief. He thought the world of the living was a happy and peaceful place. He'd rather live in Hueco Mundo over this hell! By the way Woman always acted he thought this place was great. How could she be so happy living in a world like this.

"Intriguing," he stated blandly.

"Ah well I better get back home. I don't wanna catch cold. See ya, Ulquiorra!" She called over her shoulder. "Hey wait!"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing here anyways?"

"Aizen has decided that we all should live here now. He believes it is less stressful here on Earth than in Hueco Mundo. But from what you have told me I now doubt that theory."

"Oh Ulquiorra it's not that bad!"

"Oh but it is. If those horrid things happen every single day then how are we to know that it will not happen to us?"

"Well…," she thought for a moment. "You don't know. No one does, but it's better to live your life to the fullest than live in fear."

'Better safe then sorry,' he thought about saying this aloud but he didn't want Woman to catch this cold she spoke of. "I suppose you're right. I will see you soon Woman."

"Bye Ulquiorra!" she called as she happily skipped away.

As Ulquiorra walked home he felt a strange stillness in the air. It was strange yet peaceful. The clouds were so still and quiet. It felt as if something magical were about to happen. Something magical indeed.

So that's the first chapter. It's short I know but I'm getting sleepy lol. I just kinda wrote whatever as I went so it's kinda boring, but I promise it'll get exciting soon. Tell me what you think and all that shet.