Warning- Kirk bashing and pure nonsense ahead. Please read with caution (don't say I didn't warn you)

Boy, was Uhura mad at him now. He wasn't even sure what he'd done... he remembered her saying something about a girl... and he had messed up real bad... what was she even talking about?

Now he was running away as fast as he could from her. She was out for blood.

He was almost there, almost to his love dungeon... or his bedroom. He preferred love dungeon, boy has he seduced a lot of women into there...

He ran past the door to McCoy's office and saw Bones smashing a flower (it had reminded Bones of an experience he would rather forget) The door slid open and he was faced with an army of tribbles and they were holding, wait... were those tiny shields? and tiny spears?

He looked up and standing behind the tribble were the worst people imaginable...

It was Khan... and Sherlock... and Benedict Cumberbatch.

Khan smirked, "So we meet again, Captain."

Slowly, Khan drew his phaser, Sherlock drew his gun... and Benedict Cumberbatch drew his pen. They all pointed their weapons at him and the tribbles growled.

Kirk knew what was coming and he wanted to look his best, so he yelled, "WAIT! Can you guys just give me one itty bitty minute?"

Khan, Sherlock and Cumby, looked at each other.

"Should we?" Khan muttered.

"We should grant his last request. " Cumby muttered.

"Phffft. Sentiment." was all Sherlock had to contribute.

"Oh come on. Let him." Cumby pressed.

So they slowly looked back to Kirk and nodded.

Kirk immediately leapt into action... he grabbed his apricot-beef shampoo and took a 33 second shower. Then he sprayed on some cologne and ran back out as fast as he could.

"Ok. I'm ready now."

So, Khan, Sherlock and Cumberbatch, fired their, phaser, gun and pen (respectively), killing Kirk (though it was really Cumberbatch's pen that dealt the death blow, you know what they say, 'the pen is mightier than the sword')

The moral- Don't make Khan mad or he will persuade his real and alternate universe selves to help him kill you.

A/N- This is mainly my friend, Kerfuffle Man's, brain child. Though I did write it and add a detail here and there. Don't kill us just because we hate Kirk, please. We would prefer to remain alive, thank you. Rousdower (and Kerfuffle Man, I suppose) out