You're not sure if it is anxiety, fear, sadness, or depression. You just know that it is there, every morning, like a small rubber ball in the center of your body. Do you ever wake up in the mornings with a feeling of dread...an unexplainable feeling in your stomach? I do...every morning. My name is Ginevra Molly Weasley and this is my story.
I am not sure why I wake up with this feeling every morning. For the most part I have what the majority of people would call a good life. There are 9 of us in my family; more if you count our familiars, but for the sake of time I won't. My parents are Mrs. Molly Weasley and Mr. Arthur Weasley. They are still very much in love. It is rather sickening really. My Dad works for the Ministry of Magic in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department. Muggles fascinate him. My Mum's full time job is taking care of all of us...did I mention all together there are 9 of us? Bill is my oldest brother. He works for Gringotts Bank and is quite dashing...or at least that is what all the girls say. Charlie is next and he works with Dragons...a job my mother is not thrilled with but that Charlie himself loves best after his family. Then comes Percy and if his name doesn't give it away then let me fill you in. He is quite the drip. Of us all, I think Percy feels he doesn't fit quite right. Yet he is a Weasley and we always look out for our own. Deep down he fits, he just doesn't know it yet. But I do and he will too...one day. Fred & George are the twins who are always together. It used to bother me that whenever they were introduced it was Fred & George, or George & Fred...never as two separate entities. But not anymore as that is the way they like it. And really, you rarely see one without the other. The even have opened up their own joke shop together. I work there on summers and holidays. Ron is my last brother and still goes to school with me. Because of that we are together quite a lot. He is very protective of me...actually all of my brothers are; however, I think Ron has taken the job too seriously as he is the last one at Hogwarts with me. He dates my best friend Hermione...more on her later. And finally there is me, Ginny, the only girl.
Being the only girl has its advantages. I am really quite spoiled. Many may think that having 6 older brothers would not be much fun. But it was...it is still. My mother gave up trying to make me a good little girl dressed in pink a long time ago. With 6 older brothers I learned to fly before I could walk. I learned to fight soon after. Fred used to always say they had to make sure I could take care of myself incase one of them wasn't around. Shocking really...I mean, when were they not around? I was never alone. I always had someone to play with, to laugh with, to cry to, and to crawl into bed with if I had a nightmare. If I had less than 30 hugs a day it was an off day. We were...still are quite poor. I am not sure why as Dad makes a good living, but I did mention there were nine of us, right? But we always had food, clothes, warmth, and love to spare. Birthdays and Christmases were the best. Because we were poor, most gifts were usually homemade. Every one outwardly groaned about the monogrammed jumpers Mum would make us. But if truth be told, we all loved them. To look out and see us all wearing them made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We belonged together. We were family. Now, I did say most gifts were homemade. The majority of mine were not. Sure I got the standard Weasley Jumper and Fudge, but I also got the most store bought presents. I do not know whether it was because I was the youngest or the only girl but every year my brothers would try to outdo each other with my gifts. Believe me; I did not suffer from this tradition. The only way it could have been better is if they would give me clothes. But they didn't. And if truth be told, I am glad. I could only imagine what they would pick out for me. I will never forget the first time I wore a miniskirt to Diagon Alley. Before I could even straighten up after flooing over Fred, George, and Ron were tripping over themselves to cover me with their bodies. Luckily we were not at school (where we are required to wear our robes) and it was hot otherwise I think I would have had 3 cloaks on me that day. As it was, I could barely walk with the three of them flanking me so closely. But I guess it felt good to be loved and protected. Don't get me wrong, there are some disadvantages.
Now what I consider a disadvantage, others may not. I never really had to make friends growing up. I had 6 live in best friends. We didn't go to school until it was time to go to Hogwarts. Mum kept us at home and taught us everything we needed to know to succeed until we were 11. Therefore I had no real experience in making friends. When I got to school, many girls wanted to be my friend because of my brothers. I guess they are what you would call "hot" and they thought getting closer to me would get them closer to Fred, George, Ron, and even Percy for my first couple of years. So it became very hard for me to trust people outside of my family. I had a hard time in the beginning in knowing whether someone wanted to be my friend because of me or my brothers. I don't have that problem really now. People have learned to like me because of me. It just took me 5 years to stand on my own and make a name for myself at Hogwarts and more specifically in Gryffindor.
Gryffindor is my house at Hogwarts. All of my brothers and both of my parents were in Gryffindor. It is of course the best house. We are known for our bravery and loyalty. If I had to describe myself I would say that I am smart, funny, honest, loyal, and brave. I am a good friend and have a great personality...a true Gryff. My brothers call me cute, my friends tell me I am pretty, and my Mum and Dad say I am beautiful. But when I look in the mirror I just see me...Ginny. I am short only 5 foot 2 inches on a good day and very thin...which makes it easy for my brothers and other guy friends to pick me up and toss me around which can be a tad annoying. I have brown eyes and my brothers say I have a pixie nose. Don't ask, because I don't know...but again a tad annoying. I have freckles across the bridge of my nose. They use to be everywhere, but I guess Mum wasn't fibbing when she told me they would fad. I am pretty average. But what I do like about myself is my hair. I have been growing it all summer. It is rather long. My goal is to sit on it. I almost can. It used to be bright red, but thank the gods it has turned to a more subtle shade of auburn. It is my one vanity. That and I am a really good Quidditch player.
Quidditch is my all time favorite sport, but that really goes without saying in our world. Next to Quidditch and my family, my friends are most important to me. I think we have already established that my brothers (my whole family really) are my best friends. Then there is Harry, Hermione, Colin, and Stephanie. We are pretty much inseparable except when Ron, Harry, and Hermione are off plotting. I am not able to attend those sessions because Ron thinks I am too young and need protecting (another disadvantage). Lately Ron and Hermione are off doing other things, but that doesn't bother me...in fact, I say it is about bloody time (oops...oh well I am old enough to curse). For the longest time everyone thought I was in love with Harry. I am glad that misconception is gone. I never was. I was surely curious about him, I mean he was the Boy who Lived after all and I had grown up hearing about him and his scar; however, he is around me too much for me to feel anything for him but brotherly affection. Together we all make it through our classes, studies, and whatever adventures come to us at Hogwarts. My friends and I pretty much agree on everything...everything except Potions and Professor Snape.
My favorite class is Potions. I want to be a healer when I finish school. I am really good at it. I love mixing potions and I hope to create potions that will cure a lot of the incurables. My friends do not mind that I like potions; in fact, my brothers are all ecstatic I want to be a healer. It makes sense really. I was the one who would always mend them growing up and never tell Mum. To this day when Fred, George, or Ron are sick they say my cool hands and soothing words do more than anything else could. It makes me feel needed and special. So, it isn't really the Potions they mind. It is the fact I like the Potions Master...Professor Snape. Don't get me wrong, he is as nasty to me as he is Ron, Harry, and the other Gryffindors. But somehow, I don't think he means it. I see something there that no one else sees. And even if I am wrong he is brilliant...I mean really, truly, brilliant. Maybe I think that Professor Snape out of everyone wakes up like I do in the morning. He just seems to be the type that wakes up with that feeling of dread as I do. Maybe I can relate. I don't know.
You see, from everything I have told you, I have a good life. So why do I feel like this is the mornings? Why sometimes am I my loneliest when I am with a group of people that love me? Why? And will writing this story really help those feelings go away? I mean it isn't like I would let anyone read it.
"Ginny, dear? Are you up? We need to be going soon." Ginny's mother calls up the stairs.
"Coming Mum." Ginny slides her journal under her pillow and hops out of bed. Quickly grabbing a comfortable pair of low rider jeans from the top of her suitcase and hopping into them, she pulls a white sleeveless blouse over her head. Stuffing her small feet in a pair of flip flops she runs down the crooked stairs pulling her hair into a messy bun. She slides into her seat at the breakfast table as Fred passes her the toast.
"I can't believe my Ron is starting his last year at school and Ginny is in her 6th year. It seems like just yesterday Ginny was crying because she couldn't go with you boys. And now there are only 2 of my babies there." The Weasley children rolled their eyes as their mother started the same rants they had heard at least 100 times over the summer.
"Ah, don't worry Mum. You can't get rid of us." George reassures his mother as he reaches over and pulls Ginny's hair. "Now Ginny, just what do you think you are wearing? I think the shirt is a bit too short and the jeans a bit too tight."
Ginny rolls her eyes at George and sticks out her tongue. "Really George, I am 16 not 6." Her eyes meet with Hermione's across the table and they both stifle their giggles.
"Well you are just asking for trouble dressed like that, and I am going to be the one that has to defend your honor." Ron moans. For the past 2 years he has had to deal with most of the guys in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and even some Slytherins thinking that Ginny was hot. He had even heard a Slytherin say she was a "Sexy little Gryff that he would like to fuck." That had cost Ron a month's detention and the Slytherin a two week stay in the hospital wing. But it was hard not to notice that Ginny had grown up. Even her brothers had to admit she was beautiful. And she didn't know it and that made her more beautiful. Ron shook his head...it was going to be a long year.
"As stated before I am 16 not 6. I can handle myself." Ginny retorts. 'When are they every going to let me grow up' she thinks. 'I am not stupid. I know what Hermione and Ron do, Fred and Angela do, and George and whatever his flavor of the week is do. I am only a year younger than Ron...not even a full year, 11 months. UGHHHH.' She notices everyone at the table is grinning at her.
"Talking in your head there again Gin?"
"Shut up Harry. Let's just go to the train. I don't want to be late. We are supposed to meet Stephanie." Ginny pushes back her chair and heads out to the Ministry's car. All of their trunks have already been put in the car's trunk. Ginny shakes her head. Does her Dad really think her Mum doesn't know he has magically expanded the vehicle? Men...Ginny closes her eyes as her Dad pulls off thinking about how gullible they can be.
"STOP!" Ginny hollers out as her Dad slams on brakes. "I forgot my journal." She bounds out of the car to run back to her room to get it. Everyone in the car groans.
"Now you know that the Doctor said this is the only way we may be able to find out what is bothering our Gin girl. I am going to need you Ron, Harry, and Hermione to make sure she is writing. Fred, George, you visit every week, you two can check on her too. Don't make it obvious. Just make sure she is doing it." Everyone nodded their heads at Mr. Weasley's request. The car fell very quiet as everyone contemplated the situation. Ginny was always such a happy girl. Even after the incident in her first year she was always quick to smile and laugh. No one ever saw her cry. It was all too easy to forget what she had been through. But then the nightmares came. She would wake up screaming and crying. Pretty soon the brothers took turns sleeping in the room with her. As soon as any sound came from their sleeping sister they would hug her and whisper in her ear and talk her out of her dream without actually waking her up. Hermione and Stephanie would take over this job during the school year. This seemed to work well for a while. Then they noticed that Ginny had become clingy. Not in a bad way. But she would always be sitting in one of her brother's laps. At first no one paid much attention. They were a close family and very affectionate. Plus being such a large family sometimes a lap was the only place you could find to sit. But then she only talked when you talked to her. She always was staring off into space. When you got her attention she would smile that smile at you and laugh and everything would be okay. It was Fred who first noticed that her smile didn't go to her eyes. They had a family meeting one day when she had flooed over to Stephanie's house. Normally there would never be a family meeting without all Weasleys present. However, they were scared. They felt they were losing their Ginny. It was decided that she would see a healer that specialized in emotional ailments. Surprisingly Ginny offered little resistance.
Once she was there the real work began. It was not obvious to anyone, least of all Ginny, what was bothering her. The only thing she could say is that she woke up every morning feeling sad, anxious, depressed, and scared. The most obvious answer was that she was suffering from what had happened her first year. But Ginny said she was over that. Not much progress was made. The healer told Ginny to write her story, a diary of sorts. She could put her thoughts down, she could write a story, whatever. The healer just wanted Ginny to write at least 3 hours a week. They would meet again in a few months. This had just happened last week and everyone in the family was hoping to the gods this would help their Ginny.
As she bounced back into the car apologizing to everyone for holding them up, she was quickly bombarded with "No problems", "That's okay", "Anything for you Gin."
"Okay, okay guys. Don't go overboard. I am not going to break you know. You can be peeved at me." Ginny exclaims. The trip to the train was a jovial one. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits about the start of another year.
Quite a few hugs and tears and promises to write later, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were settled on the train. Hermione being Head Girl left to make her rounds. Ron and Harry engaged in a discussion on their favorite Quidditch strategies. Now, where normally Ginny would join right in being a raging Quidditch fan herself she was feeling worried that she hasn't seen her friend Stephanie yet. Mumbling to the boys she is going to look for Stephanie she leaves the compartment.
As she walks down through the compartments she waves and smiles at the friends she sees. She makes it all the way to the end and doesn't see Stephanie. 'That is really odd, I hope she is okay' Ginny thinks as she heads back to her compartment. She feels a cold chill run down her, but she shrugs it off. 'Damn sleeveless shirt. I guess I really should listen to Ron some.' Ginny continues to walk as she rubs her hands up and down her arms trying to do warm away her chill. In the back of her mind she hears a door come open but she moves on. Suddenly a hand is clamped over her mouth and an arm is wrapped around her waist as she is pulled back into a compartment. She is roughly thrown up against the wall. Too scared to scream she looks into the eyes of her attacker. Calvin Coulter. The same Calvin Coulter, Slytherin snake that Ron had sent to the hospital. Ron had never told her why he had almost killed him, but Ginny knew. Hogwarts was full of gossip. The look in Coulter's eyes was murderous. Instinctively Ginny puts out her arms to ward him off. He closes the gap between them and grabs her wrists and turns her hard to face the wall.
The pain in Ginny's arm is brutal. She tries to cry out but no noise is made. He reaches around and pulls her other arm behind her. She hears him mutter something and her wrists are bound together. Another spell is muttered and her ankles are bound as well. He turns her around to face him. Tears fall out of her eyes. He back hands her hard across the face.
"You have no one but your brother to blame. I would have just had my way with you and relieved some of my sexual frustrations. But since he took it upon himself to beat me to a pulp I am going to return the favor with his sister. So, I am going to kill two birds with one stone." Hearing Coulter blame her brother made the anger welling up in Ginny even stronger. She musters up all of her dignity and spits in his face. One look in his eyes and she knows she did the wrong thing. He lunges at her and punches her in the stomach. She falls to the ground and he kicks her hard in the side. He then flips her over and straddles her. Ginny can feel his hardness pressed against her and can feel the fear rise up in her throat like bile. He rips open her shirt and uses magic to discard of her bra. She is laying their exposed to her attacker, her shirt hanging off her shoulders. He begins to knead her breast much like she had seen her mother knead bread. It hurts and she cries out.
"Shut up you bitch" he says as he back hands her again. "You are going to like this." He leans over and begins to bite at her lips, her neck, her breast. He takes one of her nipples in his mouth and roughly sucks on it. His hands move lower and he starts to undo her jeans. It is her that Ginny's fears find a voice. She starts to scream and fight frantically. He clamps his hand over her mouth and uses his other hand to beat her head against the floor. Ginny still struggles beneath him, yet he is stronger and he is working his hand down her jeans. He pulls at her knickers and Ginny bites his hand and lets another scream as the door is flung open. Coulter goes flying across the compartment. Ginny quickly scatter backwards to the corner and brings her knees to her chest. She wants to curl herself up in a ball but she can't as her hands are still tied behind her back. So she simply drops her head on her knees. Her hair once in a messy bun is now falling over her face to hide her tears. Ginny hears the sounds of someone getting beat and is too scared to even look up. She doesn't know if it is her attacker or savior that is winning the fight. She just sits in the corner and shakes. After a few minutes it grows quiet. Still too petrified to lift her head and still not able to move, Ginny just silently trembles and cries in the corner. Her body tenses as she can feel someone kneeling down beside her. She feels a hand in her hair. It is gentle. The hand pulls Ginny's head gently to the chest of who she now knows to be her savior. Strong arms are wrapped around her. It is not her brother or Harry. It is a smell she doesn't know. It is strong and manly. She shudders and relaxes into the arms. Small circling strokes are made at the small of her back and she relaxes. After a while of sitting there in silence he speaks.
"I think I should look at you to see if you injuries need to be tended to." That voice, Ginny would know that drawl anywhere. It couldn't be. There is no way. Certainly he wouldn't have prevented an attack on her. Especially by someone in his own house. And even if by some off chance he did stop the attack, he wouldn't have comforted her...held her. Ginny shook her head to clear the fuzz from her head. She raised her face to see who it really was and looked straight into the eyes of Draco Malfoy.
Something crosses his eyes as he looks at the littlest Weasley. He had noticed her before; you couldn't help but notice her. She had quite a sexy body and that hair...well it was noticeable. But up close, she was really beautiful. Even with the black eye, busted lip, and bruises. He looks down further to examine and notices her bruised sides and breasts. He had a strong urge to kiss the bruises away. 'Oh my I didn't just have those thoughts about a Weasley. Especially not in the condition this one is in.' He quickly takes off his cloak and wraps it around her. It is then she realizes she is not bound anymore. She doesn't know what came over her but she reaches around and wraps her arms around Draco's shoulders burying her face in his neck. This is all a new feeling for Draco. He is not used to providing comfort on any level, to anyone, especially a Weasley.
"Can you stand?" He asks in a husky voice.
"I think so," Ginny replies with a tremble. He begins to stand with her arms still around his neck and helps her up. He then moves her to the seat and kneels in front of her.
"I am going to go and get your brother okay?"
"No, don't leave me. I am scared." She grabs hold of his jumper. "What if he comes to?" He slides himself beside her and wraps an arm around her. She leans into him. It amazes him how she fits right there, like his body was made to hold her. He shakes that thought out of his head. What is wrong with him? He is a Malfoy.
"He will not wake up. He will be out until someone wakes him. But I just need some help. You can't leave the compartment looking like you do. I will be right back; I won't let anything happen to you again. I promise." He leans over and kisses her forehead. He then tears off down the hall. 'What the hell did I just do? I just kissed her. I will just find her brother and then be through with her. I won't have to do anything else.' Draco turns into the compartment where Ron and Harry are. The both stand up with their wands in their hands.
"Save it, I am not here to fight with you two. Ginny has been attacked. I walked in on Coulter trying to have his way with her. She is hurt; I am not sure how bad. Follow me." For once, Ron and Harry didn't question Malfoy. They just followed after him.
"Gin! Oh my God, Ginny. Are you okay?" Ron rushes to his sister's side. She leans into him and starts to cry. Ron looks over at Coulter and stands up and goes over to him. He starts to kick him and pound on him. Harry pulls him back.
"Ron he is out. He is already beaten very badly." Harry says.
Ron turns to Malfoy. "Did you do that to him?" Draco nods his head. The two make eye contact and Ron nods. He lifts Ginny up and moves to carry her out of the compartment. Ginny turns her head towards Draco and their eyes lock. She mouths thank you and faints dead away.