Le notes: Okay so this is really dark and angst-y and kind of au-ish. And I'm writing this while being sick with a fever so, if it seems a little loopy, blame my sickness. I just needed to get all the matherine and steferine feels out of my system. Anybody else willing to protest if Plec ends up killing Katherine off?
Summary: Maybe, just maybe maybe ―in another life― she could have been the moonlight and he could have been her howling wolf. ―-MattKatherine, minor StefanKatherine
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bring all your old scars, and i'll kiss them goodbye
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your heart will wait forever
but your skin says you're getting old
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/ / /
At the beginning of it, it's so easy to forget her sins. And it's all because she's the girl with the broken heart, and he's the boy who's so used to picking up pieces of long lost souls. He knows she's hurting inside and hiding it with drunken nights, spent whispering nightmarish words in to the shell of his ear. He also knows that she's manipulative, backstabbing, and dark-hearted. That's why he never makes the mistake of showing her any signs of weakness. Because if she knew that her evil words could make his heart beat just a little faster, then she'd surely use that amount of information against him. This is why he tries to shut her out, as best he can. However, there's still this one night with her which will haunt his memories for the rest of his life. He remembers that moment, almost too vividly. She came to his home, soaked in rainwater, and he let her into his chamber for reasons that he is no longer too certain of anymore. But he watched her cry herself to sleep, regardless of it all. And since then, he's left his door open to her for she had told him that she felt safe in his home. He remembers seeing her scars and her blood on his sheets, even though he wants to forget the sight of it, he really does. Despite this, her screams ring endlessly in his ears. And he comes to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe ―in another life― she could have been the moonlight and he could have been her howling wolf.
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/ / /
Once, she falls asleep on his couch while watching TV and this is the only time that he lets her slip through the cracks. It's unusual; she never stays over for so long. Almost always, Katherine Pierce leaves his home before the sun comes up. But now, things are changing. She's sleeping in his house, and spending the days wrapped in his warm sweaters. And she whispers Stefan's name in her sleep like it's a prayer.
In a moment of weakness, Matt pulls the covers closer to her damped skin, wondering if she would appreciate his sense of kindness and sincerity. Time feels as if it's stopped the moment where she decides to snap her eyes open. She meets his gaze, bright blue eyes which she's cursed because she knows that they can see right through her disguise. Matt Donovan pulls away from her before she has the chance to reveal herself.
"I thought you might be cold," he uses as an excuse. When he fails to notice her shiver, he says this: "I guess I was wrong." He gets up to leave, to try and forget her sorrows. The way she begs for love throughout the nights. The way she cries please, please don't leave me behind. And the ways she's loved and lost.
"You're different now," Katherine says to him. "Ever since that traveler's been inside of you, you've changed Matt Donovan." Again, he tries to ignore her stories. They're just stories, after all. Nothing but wicked fairytales, told by an equally wicked witch who claims that she's Snow White in disguise.
He walks away because he's no Prince Charming; he's no hero at all. He's the boy from the sidelines, long-forgotten, torn up, and left behind. "I'm not different, Katherine." Matt says. "Shouldn't you be heading back to Damon's by now?"
She rolls her eyes, pursing her lips and following after him. "You're meaner, you know?" She crosses her arms around her chest as she announces this. Matt stops walking, suddenly intrigued by her revelation. Katherine, at long last, sends him one of her infamous, sinister smirks. "You're meaner because you've got this darkness inside of you now. Black magic that's making you into this person that you can't even recognize. Not anymore."
He shakes his head, over and over again because he doesn't want to believe in her dark words. "What the hell are you talking about?" He breaks out, in anger. "That Czech guy is dead, you killed him yourself. You of all people know that there's nothing inside of me. Nothing at all."
She laughs, all evil and malicious-like. "He passed through you, Matt. It left a lingering darkness inside of you which is changing you." At this moment, her words seem true. And Matt almost hates her for it. "Think about it, why else would you let me, of all people, into your home?"
"Maybe because I'm not like you!" He admits, and honestly, she's heard it all before. "You don't trust anybody; you're scared of your own shadow." He announces. By surprise, she feels a bit hurt. "Why in the world would you understand my motives?"
Just like that, he awakens something that was once buried deep inside of her. Her humanity. Lately, it seems as though her new found mortality has not only made her weak, but it's made her listen to things she once ignored. Before, she thinks she would have snapped Matt's neck and had his warm blood in her mouth. Before, she thinks she wouldn't have cared so much. Before, a mere human would have never made her question her own actions. But now ―now that she's a human too― things are different. In the end, she realizes that Matt isn't the one who's changing, she is. And Katherine Pierce is not sure if she likes, hates, or is totally indifferent towards her new-found-self.
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/ / /
In the middle of it, she has a dream. Or a nightmare, rather. Matt is there, funnily enough. He makes the mistake of believing in her and having faith. He arrives at the hospital, almost too late. Stefan Salvatore holds her hand, delicately in his, as if she is a thornless rose. Katherine's eyes meet Matt's, immediately. He's not certain if he recognizes her anymore. He hates this sense of lost time, even if it is with her. Because, he may not be a hero but he's also not one to give up on people. He had faith in her, he really did. In truth, they could have been more than what they were. All the moments where he faced her and understood her cries for help could have meant something. When her eyelids feel heavy, he rushes to her side and thinks that all that's left of them is a lie. Or maybe, a truth gone unsaid; an impossible possibility and a neverending contradiction. In reality, he never imagined that she would die like this; old and withering. If anything, she would have died by taking the world down with her, up in flames. He didn't doubt that for a second.
She wakes up, screaming.
He barges in to the bedroom. "What?" He questions as she looks to him, in horror. "What is it Katherine?" This time, she notices how dark his eyes are.
Matt's an insomniac. So technically, her screams didn't awaken him at all.
"It's nothing." She claims.
He exhales, but not in relief. "This is the third time this week that you've done this. Any more and the neighbors might start complaining." He takes a seat beside her.
Katherine smiles as she brings her hand up to her forehead in order to wipe off her sweat. "Or they might suspect you of being up to something quite illegal."
It's interesting, how she conceals these bits and pieces of her humanity with her cynical sense of humor. She's pleasantly surprised that Matt only scoffs a laugh at her comment. Then, he proceeds by grabbing a pillow and falling asleep next to her. She makes no complaints and, for the rest of the night, her sleep is dreamless.
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/ / /
She stumbles in to his bar on a late Sunday afternoon. As always, she's demanding drink after drink and he's looking at her like she needs some type of salvation. But, I don't need saving, not from you she wants to say. Despite the fact that she's dying. For once, he agrees with her, because after all, he's not a hero.
"Why do you keep doing that?" Katherine questions, after the bar has emptied out and it's close to closing time.
Matt's never very pleasant around her. Still, he does realize that ignoring the queen of darkness never did end too well. So he asks for specifications. "Doing what?"
She takes note of the fact that he avoids her gaze. "That thing with your eyes." Katherine tells him. "It's very distracting."
Unexpectedly, he actually smirks at her. "You have a thing for my eyes, don't you?"
She's surprised as well, but pleasantly so. "You don't say?" She sarcastically rings. "Took you long enough to figure that out. I've only been dropping hints for years now."
He rolls his pretty blue eyes. Why did he even bother answering her? All she does is twist his words. "Whatever you're trying to do," Matt leans in, closer to Katherine, "it's not going to work. Not on me."
Her cackle can be heard for miles. "Oh, I'm not trying to do anything." She confesses. "Honestly," he refuses to believe her, of course. "I'm just here, having a drink. Like a regular customer."
He scoffs. "Right, regular."
Again, he pushes one too many buttons and makes her snap, just a bit. "And what's that supposed to mean?" Another drink sinks in to her system.
"That this," he points to the excessive amount of alcohol, "is about Stefan."
She was right about his eyes; they could really read her so damn well, like an open book. "Well, I guess news travels fast around here. I should have gotten used to that by now."
"Old habits die hard, don't they?" Matt teases, wondering how far he can push her until she pushes back.
Her expression changes then, and Matt comes to the realization that perhaps, he had gone a little too far. "Stefan is not an old habit."
He almost laughs at her seriousness; it's rather unbecoming, he presumes. Frowns don't suit her sweet face. "Then what is he?"
"Why does it matter to you?"
It doesn't. But his silence has her feeling quite lucky. She could easily misinterpret this as jealousy. That Matt actually cares enough about her to feel envious. She might just laugh at her own demise. Humanity has not only made her weak, it's made her stupid. "Oh I get it," Katherine finally releases, "you've never been in love."
His expression gives him away. Matt's eyes widen and his immediate reaction is to lie. "I've been in love."
"With whom?" Katherine questions. "Elena? Caroline?" He shakes his head. Katherine then sighs aloud. "Rebekah then?"
Matt's entire face lights up at the sound of her name.
"You're kidding right?" He doesn't answer her, again. "Oh Matty blue blue." She sings and chimes. "That wasn't love." Katherine claims.
He really is shocked by her choice of words. "And what do you know about love?"
"Love," she says slowly as the memories start melting on tip of her tongue, "is the only thing that has the power to change people. It's the reason why I still want to live."
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/ / /
At the end of it all, her worst nightmares become her truest reality. She ends up in an actual hospital bed with Stefan by her side, whispering soft words in to her wrinkled hand. She smiles delicately, one that is genuine and true. Stefan ends up missing her cynicism; he never realized how fond he'd grown of her personality.
"So," she begins, clutching his hand even tighter, "it's just you huh?"
She feels Stefan's soft lips press themselves against her forehead. "Yup." He says, nodding his head. "Just me."
Katherine looks to the door, hopelessly. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
He ruffles her hair, fondly. "You're going to make it, you know?"
She rolls her eyes. "Of course I am," she tells him so, "I'm Katherine Pierce, after all."
"Optimism." Stefan comments, "that's good to hear." She looks to him with a bit of light in her eyes, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.
Just then, they hear hurried footsteps, rushing in. Matt steps forward, in the nick of time, with chocolate chip muffins in his hands. "Hey," he greets, meeting both their gazes. "I brought snacks. Not too late for the party, am I?"
Stefan shakes his head. "Nope."
Katherine takes a muffin, smiles when she lifts her eyes towards him in realization. "You got my favorite."
Matt smiles back, undoubtedly certain that he had made the right choice.
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/ / /
End
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Le more notes: Yah um, I wasn't exactly sure how to end it. I didn't want to leave you on a sour note. So I guess I just had to write up a sort of happy ending with the ot3 of the year (how do you call them? Mattherifan? Steferinatt? Oh god, I'm so terrible at coming up with these). Please leave me a review and don't forget to follow me on tumblr (munea-dances-with-wolves).
―Xoxo Carter