"You want to get back together?" Freddie's words stuck me in the heart for a moment.
Even on the phone he could get to me. I still hadn't got over him completely, and I don't think I ever would. It certainly didn't help that he would ask me that.
"What?" I spoke weakly, completely sure of what he had said anyway.
"Wait, do you?" I asked him.
He stuttered at first, and he was quick to change the subject, which upset me a little. I guess it was for the best, I mean, after all, I couldn't tell him how much I wanted to, now that the topic passed.
"Nothing, I just-"
"Carly is really upset."
I pushed myself to make the point I called to make, rather than backtracking. If we didn't work the first time, it wouldn't work the second time. I learned that from my mom.
"You have to do something."
"I can try." I heard him say.
He would try.
I remember when he would do anything for Carly, without question.
Now it seems.
Whenever Carly needs something, he'll try.
But when I need something, he does more than try.
It's what I had always wanted, but then why do I feel so guilty.
Sometimes, I thought Freddie was better off with Carly. He could treat her better. Carly didn't have anger problems, violence problems. Carly could give him a healthier family than I ever could.
"Please, It's important."
"I understand." I heard him say.
I didn't know if he understood that it was important to help Carly, or it was important to forget about me.
We weren't meant to be, and there was no amount of feeling that was ever going to change that. We're both completely different people, and although we tried, we couldn't change enough for each other.
"Thank you." I forced a tiny smile.
When I hung up the phone, my eyes became glossy. I was doing okay, until I heard him ask me if I wanted to try again, and I had to push myself so hard to say no.
The fact that Gibby had his head stuck in a machine at the mall was pretty funny, but it somehow wasn't as funny without Freddie their to tell me it wasn't funny. Freddie kept me behaved for the most part, I just couldn't behave enough for him.
It wasn't in my family. It wasn't in my blood.
To behave.
Us Puckett's are disastrous. We couldn't do something right if our lives depended on it. That's why most of my family is in jail.
I should probably get back to Carly downstairs before she suspects something.
The last thing I wanted to do was to let her find out I was sad. She would make it her mission to find out why and I just didn't want to talk about.
Hours later I sat on the Shay's couch watching too many repeats of shows I've seen a million times. 'Will it blend' just didn't seem as funny anymore.
Nothing did.
I was a little lost in thought when the door opened, but not too much to pull a smile from my face and act like nothing was wrong.
"How was the dance?" I asked a beaming Carly.
"It was so much fun."
"I'm so glad I went with Freddie and Gibby after all." She glanced over at both boys, and Freddie gave her a smile that was different.
It was like the smiles he used to give me, and suddenly something inside didn't feel right, at all.
"I'm gonna make my way home now, it's late." Gibby announced, before he gave a wave to everyone in the room, and retreated down the hallway.
Carly gracefully walked towards the door, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor of her house. She stood in front of Freddie, her arms linked together in front of her. She rocked back and forth on her feet until Freddie smiled at her again, instead of looking at me.
"I had a lot of fun."
"Me too."
When his lips touched hers, I actually felt the pain in my chest, and my eyes became glossy, instantly. When he pulled away his face was full of regret when he saw the expression I gave him. I swallowed hard, and let a small sniffle escape, before I focused my attention back on the TV.
"I'm going to go to bed." Carly told him.
He was quiet for a moment, then realized she had said something.
"Yeah sure." He smiled at her before she went up stairs to her room.
I didn't say anything right away, but he remained at the door, expecting me to.
"You're not going to say anything?" He frowned.
I shrugged.
"Must have been some dance." I said without breaking eye contact from the TV.
"Sam.." He whispered just loud enough for me to hear it.
"Just go." I shook my head.
"I'm fine."
"Don't do that." He sighed.
"Do what?"
"Tell me you're okay."
He sat down on the couch beside me. I shuffled slightly to the right, away from him.
"I heard it on the phone when you called."
"You're not okay."
"And knowing that, you still hooked up with Carly."
"I didn't 'hook up' with her, it's not like that."
"Then what is it like?" I frowned at him.
"She told me she still loved me." He spoke after a moment of silence, looking at the floor.
"And you told her the same." I sniffled without taking my eyes off the TV again.
"Sam, you don't have to be strong with me."
"You can cry in front of me."
"I know you're body is begging you to."
"I don't cry." I shook my head, trying to keep a single tear from falling.
"Everybody cries."
"It's part of being human."
"It's part of why we never worked out together."
"What?" I looked at him, my eyebrows slightly frowning.
"You can admit you have feelings."
"You lash out, instead of showing how you feel."
"Being so protective of your emotions."
"Rejecting them."
"It's what makes you so violent."
I stared at him. He looked back at me. After moments of waiting, moments of silence, moments of being unable to take our eyes off each other, I blinked, letting a single tear, roll down my cheek. He looked down at his hand, where it landed, then back up at me.
"Samantha.." He whispered, caressing my cheek in his hand.
He kissed me. His lips touched mine softly, I closed my eyes, and kissed him back. I held onto his wrist, while his hand rested on my cheek, where a small pink blush formed. When he pulled away, he stared at me for a moment, before he pulled me into a tight hug, where one moment, I hesistated, and in the next moment, I was in hysterics, several tears running down my face, sobbing into his shoulder.
"Baby it's not just you that's hurting..." I heard him whisper.
"It's me too."
That's when I felt his tears land on the skin of my bare shoulder, exposed from my shirt.
Author's Note: This fanfic was based of the Cody Simpson song Not Just You. I have a few Seddie one shots floating in my computer, and some I would like to turn into stories, I'm just not sure which ones, maybe you guys can help me decide which ones.
Disclaimer: I also don't own iCarly or it's characters, nor do I own Cody Simpson or any of his music.