Sometimes you just need to write domestic-y Klaine fluff, man.
Blaine woke up unexpectedly in the middle of the night to a rumbling noise in his ear. Oh God, what is that? he thought as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, not wanting to speak aloud and potentially wake Kurt. Wait a minute...
The noise in question had sounded like it was coming from right under him, but he had been curled up on top of Kurt's chest with nothing but Kurt's thin pajama shirt separating his chest from Blaine's head. That meant the rumbling had to be coming from Kurt.
"Oh my God, you liar," Blaine whispered as quietly as he could, grinning down at his unconscious fiance. "You told me you didn't snore." And to be fair, the few times he and Kurt had slept in the same bed before Blaine finally moved into the loft, Kurt hadn't snored. His allergies must've been acting up. "I might have to spike your coffee with a Claritin tomorrow, babe."
Thankfully, the snores weren't the deep, buzzsaw-esque kind of snores that no one could sleep through. Kurt was just snuffling gently on his inhales. Blaine even thought it was kind of cute – but then again, Blaine thought everything about Kurt was kind of cute. If Santana had been in here, she might have smothered him by now.
Kurt's face scrunched up a little as he curled up tighter, obviously cold without Blaine's body heat nearby. Blaine kissed the wrinkle on his forehead and watched it smooth out before laying down on top of his chest again for a few more hours of sleep before classes that day.
At breakfast that morning, Blaine couldn't hold back his teasing. "So I heard something weird in the night," he said, smirking at his messy-headed boyfriend. Kurt was scowling at the coffeepot like that would make it brew faster.
"Oh, really?" Kurt asked, turning to face Blaine. "Weird like a robbery, or weird like Dani and Santana going at it again?"
"Weird like my fiance snoring into my ear," Blaine said, still wearing his shit-eating grin. "You're a big fat liar, Kurt Hummel."
"You take that back!" Kurt said, pointing furiously at Blaine. His face looked murderous. "I do not snore!"
"I know what I heard, baby," Blaine responded, standing up and walking over to Kurt for an embrace that was one part loving and one part restraining. "It wasn't loud or anything, but I could tell."
"I think you need your ears cleaned out, Anderson," Kurt grumbled. "I know for a fact I don't snore."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart," Blaine said. "Ow!"
"That was for your bad joke and for insinuating that I snore," Kurt said, rubbing soothingly over the spot on Blaine's bicep that he'd smacked a second ago. "Oh thank God, coffee's ready!" He turned away from Blaine to eagerly pour himself a cup, missing the mischievous smile that appeared on Blaine's face after a thought struck him.
"Alright, baby, this will settle our discussion from yesterday once and for all," Blaine said as he exited their bedroom the next morning. He set his phone on the dining table with the recording app already open. "I may or may not have set up the recorder on my phone and left it running all night last night to see if you really do snore."
"And I don't," Kurt said pointedly, taking a seat at the table and pushing a full coffee mug over to Blaine.
"We'll see," Blaine said noncommittally as he hit play. There were a few seconds of rustling before an unmistakable rumbling sound emitted from the speaker. "Ha!"
"You – you fabricated that recording or something, didn't you?!" Kurt accused, face turning bright pink in frustration and embarrassment. "There's no way I snore like that! I use a neti pot every other day!"
"Nope, this is one hundred percent real, baby," Blaine said, a little smug. "You, Kurt Hummel, are a snorer."
"Oh my God, this is terrible," Kurt said, dropping his head into his hands. "If I inherited my dad's snoring, does that mean I'm going to inherit his early male-pattern baldness, too?" he asked, peering anguishedly at Blaine.
"I have no idea," Blaine admitted as he paused the recording. "But I promise that I will love you regardless of how much hair you have left." He knelt next to Kurt's chair to snuggle him tightly, but before he could really get into it, there were fingers scrabbling up and down his sides. "Agh no stop Kurt baby please!" he wheezed out as he tried to break out of Kurt's embrace.
"That's for proving me wrong," Kurt grinned, finally letting Blaine go.
"Well, I know what it does to you when I win," Blaine said with a grin of his own. "Wait no stop not again!"
Kurt released him after another few seconds of tickling. "You are being extraordinarily mean today, B," he said, widening his killer blue eyes and pouting jokingly. Regardless of his intentions, Blaine was powerless to resist.
"I think your snoring is cute, baby," Blaine said, leaning up on his knees to kiss Kurt solidly. "And I will give you anything in my power if it will make you stop pouting at me like that."
"I have you so whipped," Kurt said, smiling into another kiss.
"You're not wrong, Porcelain," Santana said as she shuffled into the room and over to the coffeepot. "Now can you take your saccharine rainbow lovefest somewhere else? I can't handle this before I have my coffee."
"Good morning to you too, Santana," Blaine said, standing up. He took his coffee mug in one hand and Kurt's hand in the other and led them back to their bedroom where they could make out in relative peace for a few minutes before needing to get ready for class.