When you finally meet with Sam again, you're anxious to make sure that it is not awkward at all. He sits down and you sit across from him, while he lights up a smoke you start. "Okay, full disclosure time and then we can get to work. I want to state clearly and for the record, that I do like you, Sam. I just need more time to get over, and through this breakup. We've already worked together a couple months now, and we're only up to your twenties so let's just finish your book together and after that… We can see where it all goes."
Sam is grinning warmly at you, "It's a deal."
You can't help but grin, "Well, great. Let's get started. I know last time was rough even before… you know… but we need to pick up after you lost consciousness."
Sam takes his usual long drag and talks about waking up in the infirmary and spending weeks recovering in substandard conditions. He starts chain smoking while talking about the beatings he endured from the angry staff. Even those who believed him when he said it was Rafe who killed Vargas still went after Sam because someone had to pay for what was done. It made fools out of the staff, and that couldn't stand.
The appointment goes over but neither of you seem to mind. You pencil in the next few appointments and say goodbye. You pack up to go home and your phone buzzes. Sam. He just left ten minutes ago, what is this about?
'No pressure and nothing implied. I just want you to know you looked really beautiful today.'
Your face slowly fills with red and your heart feels like it skips a full beat or two. How is this even real? You were with Riley for years and never did they ever send a message like this. This realization starts to take the wind out of your sails. You put so much of yourself, your life, and your love into the relationship with Riley. It's impossible to ignore how easily they were able to throw that aside for the promise of something they previously had. No amount of flattery from Sam or any other person was going to repair the damage that Riley had done. You were going to have to figure out another way. Because you know that until it is repaired you'll never be able to trust someone on an intimate level.
You sigh heavily and head home.
Over the next several weeks, you and Sam continue to remain professional and work on his book. Well, mostly professional. The texting has become a near daily occurrence and sometimes the dialogue starts to stray into "dangerous" territory. But you both always manage to steer it before things get out of hand. Your assistant has noticed there is definitely something brewing with the two of you. You now walk Sam to the door when he leaves and she's caught him kissing your cheek goodbye more than once. Not to mention the little smile radiating on your face when you close the door.
Sam has you laughing during every meeting with a variety of puns that he recalls telling his brother and their adventure companion Sully during their trips to Scotland and Madagascar. You always let out a genuine laugh and Sam will light up and tell you how much they DIDN'T appreciate his humour.
Lately you have observed how much it felt like you were dating. The level of intimacy and chemistry that you two had was incredible, especially considering the lack of actual dating and physical contact that goes with a romantic relationship. On one hand, this was really comforting to you, but on the other made you more and more nervous. What if you weren't sexually compatible? What if he learns more about you and doesn't like what he hears, just liked what he saw when he was spelling his heart out? Maybe he just liked you because he could be vulnerable with you.
All your friends were dying to meet him, some of them never much cared for Riley and are intrigued with this mystery man in your life. You regret saying anything to them, all this expectation being put on you… what happens when the book gets finished? What if it all falls apart?
More weeks and appointments come and go. You and one of your friends have plans after work. And while you're enjoying your time with Sam, you're really excited for work to end so you can have a night out.
Sam pauses your session to use the restroom and you check your phone and see your friend has texted you, asking you to call her. You figure you've got a few minutes, so you go ahead.
She tells you she can't go tonight and your heart sinks.
Sam comes back and sees your disappointed face. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing."
"No, no, I'm not gonna continue until you tell me!"
"I just… had plans with a friend to go to this show tonight and she can't find anyone to watch her kids and… I just was really looking forward to it. It's okay."
"I could watch the kids!" he jokes.
"Ha ha ha. Very funny." you snark back to him.
He chuckles and then goes on, "No seriously, I'll go with you. It could be our unofficial first date."
You think it over for a moment.
"Well, I don't see why not as long as we don't… you know…"
"Oh no! I want you to respect me in the morning" he jests, being dramatic.
"Good lord," you laugh, "Alright, well she was going to pick me up at 7."
"7 it is, then… now, where was I?"
You open your notes. "You and Nathan just got separated in the storm."
"AH! Right…" he goes on.
At 6:45 you were finishing up your makeup at the office, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. You couldn't believe it, after all this time you were finally going on a date, and you were going with Sam! You kept giving yourself a pep talk about making sure things don't go too far. You two still have a lot of work on his book to do before you can really go there. But maybe a little make out session could be arranged? Then again, that's usually a bit of a slippery slope.
Sam texts you, he is outside in the car. You grab your purse, lock up your office and head out. He jumps out of his car when he sees you come out of the building and opens the car door.
"Ooh what a gentleman, thank you!" you grin. He gets back in the car, puts it into gear and takes your hand with his as he starts to drive.
You tell him a bit about the show you're both heading to, saying you hope he enjoys it; it's not everyone's style. He squeezes your hand gently and says, "I'm with you, I'm sure I'll enjoy every minute."
"Oh Jesus, ease up man, you're gonna give me a cavity with all this sweetness."
He laughs, leans over, and kisses your cheek.
"You love it." He retorts.
It's true. You do. You love every second of it.
"Naaaaah!" you tease.
When you arrive at the venue there's a short line to get in. You stand in front of Sam and he holds you around your waist, both of you facing forward waiting for the line to move. You resemble the kind of couples you used to hate. You can't help but just smirk and blush as you shuffle forward together. When you both get in, you find a spot near the front. Once you're settled, Sam slips away to get you both a drink. He returns, glasses in hand and gives you one of them. You sip through the tiny straw and glance up at him with a smile. He beams down at you and the venue lights come down. You turn back to the stage, continuing to sip your drink with a grin. You both finish your drinks by the end of the first song and Sam takes them over to the bar and returns to you, slipping his arms around you. You both watch and sway to the music as it courses through the room.
Towards the midpoint of the show, the tempo changes to a ballad and Sam turns you to face him and throws your arms around his neck. He puts his hands back down at your waist and you lay your head on him. You're far from the only couple dancing in the room but you feel like the only couple in the world. You can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady as you sway. The song ends and he kisses you. You want it to last forever but it's short and sweet. You turn back to the front to watch the rest of the show. You can't remember the last time you had that was this comfortable and exciting and perfect.
When the show ends, Sam takes you by the hand and walks with you to the car. He goes on about how much he really did enjoy the show and how glad he is that your friend couldn't come. He opens the car door for you and takes your hand while he drives you home again. He pulls up to your place and shuts the car off, walks around and opens your door one more time. He helps you step out of the car and walks you to your front door.
"You sure you don't want me to take you back to the office?" he asks, as you near the door.
"No, it's fine, I'll just take a cab to work tomorrow." you say, digging for your keys. You pull them out and rotate toward the door.
You stop after putting the key into the lock and turn to him, nervously dragging one of your feet back and forth in the ground…
"Do you… Maybe… Wanna come in and make out a little?"
"I can't," he says.
"Oh…" You find it difficult to hide your equal parts of surprise and disappointment. Your mind starts to race on how you can escape this awkward moment sooner than now. He catches your expression and the wheels of panic turn in your head.
"It's just… If I start kissing you, I'm not gonna be able to stop, and I know how you want to behave until our work is done."
You're not even sure what to say. His respect for your feelings makes you want to throw all your 'rules' right out the window.
"Make you a deal, though," he says "how about one really great goodnight kiss right here?"
You grin and nod. Sam steps forward and kisses you. Soft and sweet, then slowly opens his mouth and coaxes yours to do the same as the kiss becomes more passionate. You pull him closer and feel his excitement below. Just when you start to feel yourself lose self control, he slows the kiss back to soft and sweet and he pulls back.
You bite your lip as he starts to walk backwards toward his car.
"Good night, gorgeous." He says with a wink.
You turn your key and go inside. After you shut the door you hear him drive away. You lean against the door and sigh with a devilish grin. You hum the song from the show as you walk to your room. You strip down for bed and crawl in. Closing your eyes just lets you relive every moment of tonight… your hand slowly makes its way between your legs and you fall asleep pleasuring yourself.