Lusting For You
Adam is getting weird love notes, but by who?
(Adommy one shot)
it was a big night for the singer he was tired but he wanted to go out and hang out with his band mates who was waiting for him outside by the bus.
Adam sighed when he saw how exhausted he looked in the mirror. He hasn't slept well in days, or ate really good either. He's been really stressed out and kind of kept to himself lately. Hasn't talked much to the other band mates. Only time he opened up is to interviewers, or maybe to sign an autograph, he never turned down a fan.
But inside he miserable, afraid and doesn't know if he should tell the others. The others, being his close friends and his secret crush, or what left of the secret.
Of course a lot of celebrity had the problem before, one of those crazy fans, those fans who seems to know you inner secrets, your ever thought and move you made, always one step ahead of you. The thought scared him, not terrified him. What if she or he was a psycho fan? Wanting to hurt him or someone in his band? Or worse, what if it wasn't a fan but someone who hates him for some odd reason or another?
Adam let out another sigh he won't let this person run his life, he can't lock himself in a hotel room forever. Adam was a partier, everyone knew that. Always the one pushing everyone else to stay up later with him and find a club somewhere and continue the night events, who knows maybe steal a dance with Tommy.
Tommy, just the name made Adam smile and wash away the bad thoughts.
Adam washed off his make up another thing he loved about wearing all that cover up was because it was just that cover up. It hid any sign of sadness he had or fear in his eyes. If anything ever happened to one of his band mates because of him, he'd never forgive himself.
Adam slowly took off his clothes and dressed casually nothing sparkly or colorful like he usually does, he just wasn't in the mood for it. He didn't want to stand out to anyone.
Adam finished dressing and went to leave his room turning off the light. When he came out of his room he saw an envelope laying on the flood near his door. Adam looked up and down the hall way wondering if he could see any sign of who left it, no one.
The envelope was black he leaned over and picked it up and turned it over. The front had his name written in purple glitter ADAM in signature witting just like his other mysterious notes.
Adam felt his heart pound and his hand starts to shake badly. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? he asked himself.
He reluctantly opened the envelope maybe reading the note gave him some hope that this person was just a fan who maybe obsessed too much.
The stationary was dark with roses lined on the top dripping blood the witting was in red ink. The letters usually contained lyrics to his songs. His songs that once made him feel happy, something he took pride in now when he sings the lyrics to the words the stalker uses just makes him sick.
Adam read the letter over and over, never making any sense, none of them, just gave him the creeps.
"Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open"
What was once a song that had held a beautiful meaning to him deeply, no sounds sick and twisted.
Adam was thankfully distracted by the sound of his cell going off. He smiled a little when he saw it was Tommy number. His bassist, he's glitterbaby, his "secret" crush.
Adam happily pressed talk to answer his call. "Adam what the hell are you doing? I know it takes you five years to get dressed and undressed but come on.. in a minute were about to send a search party for you"
Adam almost forgot the other were waiting for him. "Ohh Tom.. I forgot.." he stuttered, look, why.. why don't you and the other go one without me ok? I'm, I'm just not doing too good, I'm going to head back to the hotel, try to rest." Adam sucked at lying specially to Tommy.
"Tom? Since when do you call me that? Like I'm really going to leave you if your not feeling well.. come on Adam, what's up babyboy? You can tell me"
Adam smiled at Tommy's nickname. "I'm ok really, it's been a busy week, I'm just going back to sleep you don't have to come back, go out have fun.." Inside Adam begged him to come back with him, begged him to let him cry on his shoulders to help him figure out who this person was. He did tell Tommy everything. But he didn't want to worry the blonde or anyone else with his problems. He would take care of it and them without making them worry.
However Tommy was worried, he's been worried about Adam for a while now, he hasn't been the same man he was when he first met him. Adam always was hyper type person that usually made Tommy cringe but not Adam. Adam always made him smile when he was down about something or homesick, when anyone was homesick it was Adam they went to get a laugh or hug, but know he knew Adam was the one who needed that and who does he talk to?
Tommy may have bought Adam's story about being tired or not feeling well, but something in Adam's voice made him think differently and that sound shot a chill through Tommy body. Was Adam crying? He only saw Adam cry once and that was when they all went to his father funeral. If Adam was crying and alone there is no way Tommy was going out with the others to have fun! The thought of Adam even being sad just broke his heart.
Tommy turned off his cell phone and went over to the others "you guys just go ok? I'm going to head back to the hotel."
"Ok the world literally stopped moving if Tommy Joe Ratliff doesn't want to come out and party with us." said Cam smiling.
"I do I'm just... I just want to make sure Adam is ok." there was no point in hiding anymore. He liked Ad.. no he Loved Adam no he fucking Lusted for him! Not talking high school boy crush love either. Every time he saw Adam his heart would jump a little, sometimes he'd even get tongue tied when he talks to him alone, and when Adam smiled it lit up everything inside Tommy and those eyes, he can get lost in those cool ocean colored eyes of his. But he was thirty years old now, he doesn't fall in love anymore, and he was straight wasn't he? That's what he tells himself, his parents, well everyone but he hasn't had maybe relationships to really tell. When it came to loving anyone Tommy was always scared. Scared of rejection, of hurting the other person, just plain scared of love all together, not to mention Adam had been the only male he ever felt such a strong attraction to or any attraction for. The thought of those beautiful blue eyes filled with sadness...
"I.. I just gotta go, I'll text Cam later." Tommy kissed Cam on her cheek before he got into the bus. He didn't want to waste time explaining to them why he had to rush to Adam. He just told the driver to take him back to their hotel.
Adam went back into his room he loved having his own room, he wasn't some kind of diva or anything, he just loved privacy. The others usually bunked. He couldn't really stand bunking with Monty the way he snores, He likes to Bunk with Cam but that gets awkward at times, and Tommy, well he did bunk with him twice, and that makes bunking with Cam a piece of cake. But he often asked for a separate room.
He took off his shirt and just tossed it on the ground, not caring about being clean right now. He put the letter on the night stand, not knowing why he keeps them. Adam just lays on the bed just thinking. Of everything. He did have a headache. That part wasn't a lie, but he was too wide awake to sleep, more like too scared to sleep.
"What did that fucking note even mean!" he cursed at himself, he was never one to curse, well not too much.
He wondered what the others were doing, what Tommy was doing. How he changed from being worried over a note to lusting over his bassist at the same time was beyond him. Like Evil over Angel and his Angel always wins.
"Why are the pretty ones straight?" he asked himself sadly.
Adam just curled himself up in a tight ball and just started to cry not exactly knowing why anymore.
Tommy let himself up to the floor the band rented out as more closer he got to Adam the more worried he was. Even if he was just sick, Tommy couldn't go out and have fun with the others.
Tommy finally got to Adam's room and knocked "Adam.. I just wanted to make sure everything was ok." said Tommy in a nervous voice. He could tell the light was off from underneath the door. Maybe he did lay down?
Adam herd the knocking woke him up startled he almost didn't answer not caring who it was just wanted to be alone.. doesn't anyone understand that!
He got out of bed and went over to the door "DAMN IT GO AWAY!" he yelled as he opened the door. He was shocked to see Tommy with a concerned look.
Tommy stepped back a little "I'm... I'm sorry I just.."
Adam took Tommy and held him closely "I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."
Now Tommy knew there was something seriously wrong with his babyboy and he wasn't going to leave him.
Adam let Tommy in his room and closed the door behind him He felt ashamed at how he just yelled in Tommy's face like that. How do you say you love someone and treat them like that?
"Tommy, I am sorry I didn't mean to,"
"It's ok Adam." Tommy forgot it was still dark in the room an tried to ignore the fact Adam answered the door without a shirt on. God his body.. so perfect.. He was lucky enough to have seem him naked before, him coming out of the shower, yes it was defiantly lust, more lusted love for him. If that made sense.
Tommy cleared his throat. "babyboy what's wrong? Do you really want me to go?" he asked softly.
Adam shook his head, that's the last thing he wanted was for Tommy to leave him. He can't face this alone anymore.
"I've been getting letters.. weird letters, not fan letters." Adam opened the draw to the night stand and threw the letters at him. "Every fucking night almost.. these weird letters show up.. they always know where I am.. the person is freaking me out and I can't.. I don't,"
Tommy hugged him again he had no idea this was going on.. shit.. all the letters he sent him.. he had no idea.. oh fuck... "Adam... I.."
Tommy was interrupted by Adam's soft sobbing. "Why would someone want to do this to me? What have I ever done?"
Tommy wished now he just had the balls to tell him how he felt.. instead of these notes. The notes where Cam's idea. Adam was the one who wrote the pretty words, but Tommy picked out the ones that means most to him.
All his letters were the same. Black stationary, with dark rose surrounding it, dark red ink, picking out the best lyrics from all his songs. He knew he likes the color purple and black and loves glitter. He thought of everything, except the thought that the notes might seem threatening to him. All this time he was scaring him. The thought he's the cause of those tears, of that fear, of the pain he's been in when all he tried to do...
Tommy didn't have to read the others, he knew what they said. He took a deep breath and bit his lip.
"Why can't we all be proud
And shout it out loud
Embrace it because
Sex is not the enemy" knew that was one of them from the song Kiss and Tell. He wanted to tell Adam how he felt about him but was too shy, too scared.
"No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way to ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over" from For Your Entertainment. He didn't want to ever let Adam go if he was ever is, he knew he'd take of him.
Tommy cleared his throat again, afraid to meet Adam's glaze. "If I had you, life would be a party it'd be ecstasy" From If I Had You. If Adam was his boyfriend every day would be heaven for him.
And his last one, that he left just tonight.
"Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open" From Broken Open. He loved laying next to Adam, wether its on the bus or just cuddling with him or sitting in his lap. He knows he's safe with Adam. ALWAYS. He had no idea he was scaring him.
"Y-you wrote them?" he asked.
Tommy nodded. More afraid to look up now then before. Not afraid of coming out to him, but of the rejection. He's nothing like the men Adam usually into. He can't even write his own love notes, basically stole Adam's work.
"Don't, don't be mad please.. I never meant to scare you, believe me that was so far from my intentions.."
Adam couldn't think clearly at the moment. The lyrics seemed so threatening at first and now.. they have so much more meaning then they ever did before.
Tommy silently begged Adam to talk to him, to say do something, but he didn't. Tommy's heart was broken.
He slowly got up "I'm sorry." seems to be the theme tonight, but he felt he had to get out of there..
Adam realized what was going on finally putting things together "No.. no Tommy don't leave... please you really wrote these? glitterbaby?"
Tommy nodded still looking down "well you wrote them, I.."
"But you.. I mean.." Adam smiled. All his fears finally lifted from him. The evilness is gone and his angel was still there.
"I picked the lyrics I liked most, to describe how I feel about you.. about.. us.. about there being an us. I mean.. if.. if you.."
Adam answered him with a kiss, a long passionate kiss. Putting his arms around him tenderly and brought him closer to his body, his shirtless chest.
The both forgot the other letters. Tommy never did call back the others like he said he would, he never returned back to his bedroom either.
That night Tommy stayed in Adam's room. He finally had his Babyboy and Adam finally had his glitterbaby, and neither man could be happier.